Michelle-Note: Last update for the day. For real. I had the day off work...I have tomorrow off too. Two days off in a row. I don't know what to do with myself. Besides write fanfiction.

Chapter 14: Ren Phones Home And Such

Ren: a room in the Tipton Hotel of NYC: 10:22pm: March 20

London was really weird, and I needed to tell Ruby about it. I laughed for a moment, thinking that Tawny would have a field day trying to analyze the heiress too. I snatched up my ringing phone to find Ruby calling just as I had the thought.

"Hey, guess what!" I answered, excitedly.

"No…you guess what!" She sounded out of breath.

I was confused, "What? I was about to call you and tell you about London being a total weirdo, but you called me first."

"You're on the cover of a gossip magazine." She spat out.

"Say what?"

"I'm sure they have it there. It's called International Inquirer, and you…you're on the cover."

"I…" I stuttered, "I…don't know what that means…"

"It means millions of people know who you are…only not…because you're not famous…and…the magazine is offering money to whoever can positively identify you first."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Why would I kid about this?!" Her voice sounded like some odd combination of excitement and frustration.

I was stunned. I didn't know what to think. I thought she might still be making it up. "Um…"

"And you'll never guess who saw you on the cover and flipped shit and then tried to kill me…"

"Huh?"

"Tawny. Tawny called me and said she had an emergency and then totally went batshit about it…and then…then we got into a small fight…"

"Fight? What do you mean…fight?" I asked, thinking it was a yelling fight.

"Like…she jumped on me, and there was some screaming…and I had to struggle to get away. I still haven't recovered from the encounter."

"Seriously?"

"Yes! I'm serious!" She yelled, "Why would I make this up?! Bitch is crazy!"

It felt surreal, and just tried to breathe for a moment and process – I didn't seem to understand what it meant. Was this bad or was it good? "I'm gonna go, Ruby…"

"No, no. You're not. You're going to tell me why London is a weirdo." She insisted.

"Well…we went to this sandwich place and when we left, she freaked out when we were walking up the street. She saw this chick named Maddie, who apparently used to work at the Tipton in Boston, and she just stopped walking, dropped her bags, and stared at her. It was totally creepy. Maddie didn't even see her and walked away, and London just stood there like a statue for like…ten minutes. Then she suddenly went completely back to normal, and when I tried to ask her what happened, she denied the entire event. She kept saying she had no idea what I was talking about."

"Sounds like Tawny. She likes to deny that you exist, but then you showed up on a magazine." Ruby mumbled bitterly.

"Ok, so I'm gonna go now and find this magazine. Bye."

"Later."

It wasn't hard for me to find a copy of said magazine in the hotel lobby. There I was, on the cover, with London. We were wearing our sunglasses, carrying shit from Prada, and Starbucks drinks. The headline read: Who is London's New BFF? With a fantastic subtitle that said: Does Anyone Know This Enigmatic Young Woman With London?

Upon reading the article, I saw several more pictures of me, with London, in various New York locations, and apparently…the magazine was offering a monetary reward for anyone who could identify me. Glorious! Louis would be all over it, and probably send in fantastically unflattering pictures of me from middle school when I had braces. There were all sorts of theories about who I was from the heiress of an oil company to the President's daughter to an up and coming movie star who's debut film had yet to come out. How disappointed they would be…

I was simply a Biology major from Princeton, and the daughter of Senator Stevens, who wasn't even one of the big famous senators, since she hadn't been in the middle of any sort of scandals yet. Well…she was the longest running senator of California, but yeah…

I decided then that I should probably call my mom because that's who I call when I've accidentally become famous. It seemed like a reasonable course of action, and all of this still felt surreal as fuck.

She picked up after a mere two rings, "Ren, honey," she said, "Your brother came home today to get pictures of you…I'm sure he's up to something that's going to make you angry. Just an FYI."

I knew she referred to Louis, not Donnie, and I knew what he had planned to do with them, "That's actually what I'm calling about."

"How's New York?"

"Mom, focus." I sighed, "New York is ok. I told you I was going with my friend London, and it turns out my friend London is London Tipton, and hanging out with her has gotten me on the cover of some celebrity gossip magazine and they're offering money to the first person to identify me…which is why Louis needed the pictures."

"Say what?"

"I have inadvertently become famous, but I'm not famous. They think I'm like heiress to an oil company and stuff." I whined.

My mom made some contemplative noises, "London Tipton…she's known for being a…um…party girl, right? She used to pal around with that red-head from all of those movies who is in rehab now…"

Even my mom knew who London Tipton was, "You've heard of her?"

"Of course." I could almost hear the gears in her head turning in all sorts of ridiculous ways, "Ren, are you doing drugs?!"

"No, mom!"

"Good, I trust you, but you have to keep in mind that I'm running for re-election this year, and once Louis let's the media know who you are-"

"Mom, I'm not doing anything wrong, so no pictures of me are going to show up doing lines of coke. It won't affect your campaign. I just happen to be hanging out with a really sketchy girl. I've been trying to keep her out of trouble. Mostly she's just a drunk."

"That's my girl, but…did you not realize who she was? How could you not have been prepared for this?"

"Well…not really. I didn't know she was that big of a deal."

"Ren…" She sighed, "You need to be aware of current events. I don't want you to take away from your academics, but being aware of the world is also really important."

"I'm aware of current events! Political stuff…and science."

"You need to be well-rounded for med school, dear."

"Mom, I called you so you could make me feel better about being on the cover of a national magazine."

"Oh, well have fun. Don't do drugs or get arrested."

"Mom…" I whined more. It freaked me out for millions of people to know who I was. I wanted to be known for something more productive…not just being friends with some rich girl.

"I think this is a good life experience for you, building character!"

"But-"

"Then you shouldn't have gone to New York with the Tipton hotel heiress, honey."

"Mom, you're not helping."

"Ren, I don't know what I'm helping you with." She laughed.

"Don't laugh at me…I don't know why this weirds me out so much…" Had she been able to see me, she would have seen me making a remarkable sad face.

London burst into the room, "We have to go. Drinks now!"

"Did the young lady in the background say what I think she said?" My mom suddenly became motherly again.

"Don't worry. She's just referring to herself. I'm not twenty-one anyway."

"I'm aware of that, Ren…but I'm sure Miss Tipton can get you whatever you want…including drugs."

"No drugs!"

"No drugs! I need drinks!" London shouted and began tugging on my arm, "Ooh, you're not wearing that."

I heard my mom laugh again, "I'm just kidding, Ren. Have fun!"

"Bye, mom."

"Bye, Mrs. Ren's Mom!" London yelled into the phone.

I hung up and got ready to go out for another night of London trying to force me to drink. It was one thing to drink with her alone in the Tipton bar in Boston where there were no paparazzi and no chance of me being arrested for underage consumption and all that jazz.