"Suppose we were able to share meanings freely without a compulsive urge to impose our view or conform to those of others and without distortion and self-deception. Would this not constitute a real revolution in culture?"
-David Bohm
"I'm not so sure I want to get involved with the Qunari again, Varric..." Hawke said, keeping her voice low. They were sitting at a table in Varric's suite at the Hanged Man, going over some paperwork Bartrand had thrown at him earlier. There was little chance of them being overheard, but she still spoke quietly. "You can't deal reasonably with religious fanatics. Not really. I don't like dealing with Templars for the same reason."
"No one likes dealing with Qunari or Templars, Hawke. But first, we won't be dealing with them directly, Javaris will be the proxy; second, it could pay very well and we only need a bit more before we have enough to get the Expedition on its feet; and third, these Tal-Vashoth Javaris wants dead have been plaguing the roads on the coastline. Avaline will probably end up asking for your help with them anyway and you never turn her down."
Hawke sighed. "Am I that predictable?"
"When it comes to helping your friends, yes. Not an insult, Hawke, just saying."
She looked down, turning an object over and over between her fingers, as she had been the entire time they had been here. She was feeling a little raw. In truth, they all were, Varric included. He was currently trying to find out all he knew about the Chantry woman known as Sister Petrice.
The bitch.
Hawke had come stumbling into the Hanged Man the night before just as Varric was finishing up teaching Fenris how to play Diamondback. Unlike Merrill, the Tevinter elf picked up on the games with almost uncanny quickness, saying he'd seen similar games in the Imperium.
A storm had kicked up, so when the door of the tavern banged open, no one even took much notice of it. It was only when Thrask had looked up and gasped that Varric had turned to see the figures coming in through the door. Isabela, her face unusually grim, stalked straight across the room toward the bar as Varric pushed himself to his feet, eyes widening as he got a good look at Hawke and Bethany. Anders came in behind them, looking exhausted. "Andraste's tits, what happened?"
"She's an idiot, that's what happened," Isabela spat, gesturing furiously at Hawke. She turned back toward the bar swiftly but not before Varric had seen what was behind her anger: the unshakable pirate scourge was shaken.
But it was nothing compared to Hawke. Her face was sheet white, her eyes glassy with shock. Bethany, also pale and shaken, had both her arms wrapped around one of her sister's and he wasn't sure which one of them was supporting the other. In all the time he'd known Hawke, Varric had never seen her composure so rocked, not even after the close call with the templars the night they had met Anders. Her even-headed ability to take things in stride was one of the things that made him so sure she would be an asset to the expedition; seeing her like this scared the shit out of him.
The sisters had moved to the table and sat down. Bethany kept looking at her sister, folding hands that were visibly trembling on the table. Anders sat down beside her, gently laying a hand over hers, which seemed to help her. Hawke was silent, one hand wrapped around some kind of object on a leather cord. Even Fenris, who had a strange knack for getting Hawke to talk about nearly anything (and vice versa), couldn't get anything out of her. It was Bethany who had haltingly managed to get the story out.
They had just wanted to help. From the very start. They'd seen a Chantry sister go into an alley with a couple of thugs and had assumed she was a newcomer out of her league. They'd gone after her and sure enough, it had been an ambush. They'd gotten her out of there and back to her 'safehouse'- and her templar guardian -not far from their own home. It was there she had given them the most unusual proposition.
That was when she had introduced them to Ketojan.
Even though Hawke had known the Qunari treated their mages like dangerous beasts- enough Theta disapproved of that treatment severely -she'd had no idea the extent they went to control them. Ketojan couldn't confirm or deny anything Petrice said: his mouth had been sewn shut.
Peace, Patrice said, began with appeasement. Ketojan needed to be set free. Like her friend was. Like Theta.
She'd mentioned Theta. By name. Upon retrospect, the fact she had brought the artisan up so easily should have been a sign something was off. While there were many in Lowtown who knew and traded with Theta without missing a beat, it was another matter entirely when you got to Hightown. There were Hightown people and even Chantry members who traded with Theta or bought her wares, but there were few of them who would admit it, especially these days. It had, however, struck a chord in Hawke. And Bethany, horrified by what had been done to the kossith mage, had been more than willing to help. She'd gone and asked Anders to help, maybe they could figure out a way for Ketojan to escape via the Mage Underground- the network he was slowly building to help mages escape -once they got him out of Kirkwall. She'd met Isabela along the way, who had joined them, curious. It was a good thing she had.
He was a bit conspicuous, so getting him out through the Undercity...which they all knew almost as well as the upper city by this time...had seemed the best choice. It had gone smoothly at first, only a few spiders here and there to give them trouble, nothing they couldn't handle. Ketojan had simply followed, not participating...until the thugs.
They were the same kind of scum that you would meet anywhere in Lowtown and Darktown, throwing the same kind of bitter threats around. There weren't enough of them to be a worry, but the second one of them had threatened Hawke, Ketojan had stirred. And when the leader had tried to attack her, the mage had unleashed his magic on them, taking them all out with an attack so precise and powerful it took Bethany's breath away. The frightened and disoriented thugs had attacked, but with Ketojan backing them up, it was a lost cause. The ones that lived had fled into the dark, burned by flames the qunari had seemed able to wield like an extension of himself.
Bethany had wrapped her hands around the mug of tea Corff had brought her. He'd set a mug of the strong black Ferelden tea Hawke liked so much in front of her, but she had not touched it. She sat in her chair, one leg tucked beneath her, turning that strange talisman over and over in her hands, her eyes fixed on it. The Ring of Whispers, the strange claw that had belonged to her father, was on the middle finger of her right hand and she kept tapping the slim claw against the stone of the talisman.
"It was a set up," Bethany said, her voice flat. "There were Qunari waiting for us. For him. We weren't supposed to survive it. They accused us...they said they had followed a trail of bodies to that point. Leading to us. Didn't seem to care that we couldn't have left it if we came from the other way. He kept calling Ketojan something..."
"Saarebas," Fenris said. "Literally 'dangerous thing'. A mage. All their mages submit to that. In an effort to control themselves."
"We didn't know that," Bethany whispered. "We thought we were still helping him. We didn't really understand...well, anything the leader kept saying. We didn't want to turn him over if they were going to do something like that."
"I was fine with it," Isabela growled. "I told you two they were going to attack if we didn't hand him over."
"They would have attacked anyway," Fenris said. "Especially if they found out Bethany was a mage. You were corrupted, the same way this Ketojan was. Left without a handler, out of control, they couldn't allow him to live. Or you. Lest you contaminate everyone else." His gaze shifted to Anders for a moment. "Corrupt others with demons that might have attached themselves to you. It is the will of the Qun."
Hawke closed her eyes. Isabela just scowled into her cup.
"They bound him and then attacked. I thought we were going to die. There were so many of them. We would have except..." She stopped herself, glancing at Anders, and bit her lip. Varric knew why, just as he knew how they had survived the attack. Anders had brought Justice forth. "Well, we survived it..." Bethany finally said.
"What happened to the mage?" Thrask had asked, looking deeply troubled.
"When the leader was killed, he was able to speak. He said...he called Alessa something..."
Hawke spoke for the first time, her voice dull. "Basvaarad."
"Worthy of following," Fenris said quietly.
"He thanked us for our intent but he said it was wrong," Bethany said. "Alessa tried to talk to him, to understand, but he kept saying he had to live by the Qun. He gave her something and then he...he killed himself. He set himself on fire."
There was silence all around. Thrask finally spoke, his voice hesitant. "But...what makes you think the Sister knew about any of that, Bethany?"
Bethany looked him straight in the eye. "Because she told us, Ser Thrask. Didn't even try to deny it. She hoped she could use our deaths to turn the Chantry against the Qunari. She almost gloated about it."
"Surely not..." Now Thrask looked as shaken as they were. "Even if...but she wouldn't gloat about it in front of witnesses like that if it were true..."
"Why not? Who amongst the Templars, the Chantry...in all of Hightown...would take our word over hers?" Hawke said quietly.
No one. Everybody in the room knew it, even Thrask.
Hawke had pulled a handful of coins out and pushed them across the table to Varric. Seven sovereigns, a goodly sum. "Take it. Put it toward the expedition or split it up between everyone or throw it in the sea for all I care. I don't want it." She'd pushed herself shakily out of her chair, still clutching the talisman Ketojan had given her to her chest. "He didn't scream," she said suddenly to no one in particular, a strange look on her face. "He burned himself alive and he never made a sound..."
She'd played Hawke like a violin, and Hawke wasn't easy to play. The woman had set her up to be killed. Varric didn't believe for a second that Petrice being there at that exact place at that exact time was a coincidence. She had chosen Hawke specifically and had somehow known exactly what buttons to push. It was one of the reasons Varric was so willing to risk a deal with Jaravis. Killing off Tal-Vashoth that were for sure a danger to innocents along the coast would do Hawke a world of good, give her some ground beneath her feet again.
One good thing about this was Fenris had come to him and accepted the offer to head into the Deep Roads. They needed a strong blade to protect them, he said. Varric fully agreed; the elf was a better fighter than ten of Bartrand's best thugs combined. Although he suspected Fenris's reasons for coming along had more to do with Hawke needing a strong blade to protect her. But since that would mean everyone was getting protected by that blade and the neat tricks the elf could pull with those markings of his, Varric wasn't going to be picky about his reasons.
Hawke studied her copy of the note Jaravis Tintop had sent both of them after they'd saved him a few days earlier. "Isn't this the guy your brother called a slimy bastard?"
"Javaris? Oh, yes."
Hawke looked doubtful. "Do we really want to put this explosive powder in his hands?"
Varric shrugged. "I don't know why he's all fired up to get it anyway. Making explosive stuff isn't hard. You make explosive stuff."
"Point. I wonder how the Qunari go about it." Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
Oh, Andraste's tits, she'd be blowing up half of Lowtown in the next few weeks. He just hoped they wouldn't trace the idea back to him. "How do they think the dwarves got all those buildings into the walls down in Orzammar? Hammer and chisel?"
That got him a smile. "They usually use lyrium based powder, though, don't they?"
"It's still more than likely he wants it because no one else besides the Qunari have it. He's not part of the Merchant Guild, Hawke. He wants to be able to get a deal that no one else has managed before so he can shove it into our faces."
"More specifically, let me guess, he wants to be able to shove it into Bartrand's face."
"Look at her go, folks, in a few more years, she'll be ready for a seat in the Guild herself!"
Hawke rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "All right...if anything we'll clear the coast, yes?"
"That's the spirit. And at best, we'll be able to get some good coin and possibly make Jaravis look like a jackass on top of it."
When life shook her up, Hawke had always taken comfort in falling back onto intellect. She had taken to spending an hour or so at the library since it had been set up and had become more friendly with the group from Orlais. Zek in particular was always up for a lively debate...or outright argument. The possibilities of recreating something like the Qunari's explosive powder also gave her something to work over in her mind and she reminded herself to toss the possibility at Haze and Zek the next time she visited.
At the moment, however, she had the more pleasant task of annoying Javaris.
Unlike Bartrand, Hawke had complete faith in Varric's observations of people. So when he told her Javaris was a posturing idiot, she had not doubted him for a moment. It was well she didn't, because Varric was- as usual -absolutely right. The dwarf was a puffed up weasel of a man. He also liked using big words, often incorrectly, because they sounded grand, which was a particular pet peeve of hers.
Jaravis had gotten it into his head that if he hired someone to kill off Tal-Vashoth along the coast, it would impress the Arishok enough he'd be willing to bargain with the explosive powder. Gaatlok, it was called.
They had battled a few of said Tal-Vashoth already, but this time around they were headed to their base to rid the coast of most, if not all, of them. Balancing that out was the fact that they had a veritable army with them this time around. Fenris had simply appeared outside of the Hanged Man before they could even ask him; Aveline had confirmed she was planning on asking Hawke and Varric to help out with that problem and came along to help; Bethany was determined to help despite their mother's protests and Anders had shown up with her; and Merrill had also decided to come along and lend her magic to the cause. Fenris had not been pleased to have three mages, two of which he clearly didn't trust, along but had grudgingly not been able to deny the fact they had all been helpful in fights before. Isabela had been the only one to refuse, stating flat out she wanted nothing to do with the Qunari with a tone Hawke had been unable to identify. In anyone else, she would have called it nervousness.
Even with all their combined skills, it was a hard battle. Fenris was an asset, as usual, having been forced to fight Qunari on numerous occasions by his former master. With his advice, they knew what the weak points in the Tal-Vashoth's fighting to exploit. It still brought them down to their last breath. Hawke's heart had nearly stopped in her chest when one of them had almost run Bethany through. Anders had hauled her out of the way right in time so the blow took her in the side, killing the kossith that had done it and healing her almost within the space of a minute. He, Alessa thought, needed to stay out of a fight for a few days because he was definitely looking thinner and more tired than usual. Obviously he was pushing himself too hard.
All of her tricks, all of their potions, and nearly all of their energy, but they managed it without losing anyone. They were later than Javaris had wanted because they had needed to rest and make rounds to treat injuries...thank the Maker she'd stocked up on her supplies before coming.
Javaris was waiting outside the Qunari compound, tapping his foot as they approached. The area had grown since Alessa had last seen it. She squinted at the doors built to cut it off from the rest of the Docks. It looked like they had taken the remains of their ship to build up the compound, she noted. They had dismantled and reused the wood from their ship instead of repairing it. She didn't think that was a good sign...
They were down to Varric, Hawke, Merrill, and Fenris by then. Bethany had gone to help Anders back to the clinic, too worried to let him go alone, and Aveline had gone back to the barracks to make her report. Not bad for Kirkwall's soon-to-be Guard-Captain, Hawke thought, still so proud of her she could burst. So much for Jeven's claims Aveline would be nothing without him.
"About time, I've been waiting here for hours," Javaris greeted them, irritated.
"No you haven't. If you'd been around that long, they would have killed you. If only to shut you up," Varric said. Hawke had to stifle a laugh. Varric got as blunt as a hammer when he was tired and pissed off.
Javaris glared at him and led the way into the compound. Hawke didn't want to be intimidated, she really didn't. But Theta was almost two feet taller than she was and some of these horned men would have towered over the artisan. Every single one of them looked like they could pick her up and break her in half.
"They are rather easy on the eyes, aren't they?" Merrill whispered to her. Fenris overheard and glanced back, brows furrowed in disbelief. He shook his head when Hawke shrugged and looked around. They were all in rather good shape...
Javaris gave her a superior look as they waited for the Qunari leader. "The Arishok can be a bit of a bully...rather bludgeonating, really..."
"That's not a word."
"...but I know how to handle him."
"There's a dozen other words that actually exist that you can use, why are you making up a stupid one?"
Javaris was gritting his teeth by then. He hated being contradicted, especially when he was wrong. Reminded her of Bartrand. "Can we keep to the point please?"
Hawke was too happy for the distraction to care about the point. "I'm just saying you could even have used 'he's rather bludgeoning'. It would still be a bad use of a word but it would be bad use of an actual word."
"Shut. Up," Javaris hissed as there was movement from the platform above. Varric seemed to be straining a lot of muscles to keep from laughing but he sobered as the Arishok arrived.
As did they all.
She'd thought the other qunari were intimidating and that had been her mistake. The Arishok was huge- he had to be nearly seven feet from toe to the top of his long horns -and built from solid muscle.
For the first time, Alessa tried to imagine Theta amongst these people, standing with the same kind of rigid formality and ceremony that filled the air as the Arishok seated himself. She couldn't do it. She couldn't envision Theta standing here without rolling her eyes and impatiently telling them to get on with it. That mental image threatened to make her smile, so she shook it away, looking from Javaris to the qunari leader.
"Arishokost. Maaras shokra. Anaan esaam Qun."
The Arishok turned, along with everyone else, to look at Fenris as he spoke up. Alessa blinked at him in surprise, for it was entirely out of character for Fenris to suddenly draw attention to himself. She didn't recognize the language he was speaking in, but the Arishok did, because he spoke with noticeable surprise, "The Qun from an elf? The madness of this...place." He spoke the last word with a similar tone to the one nobles used when speaking of Darktown, on the rare occasions they admitted that it existed. It implied words like 'vile' and 'disgusting'. The fact he seemed to be aiming that tone at Kirkwall as a whole was not a reassuring thought.
She caught Fenris's eye and cocked her head questioningly. "Friend of yours?"
Fenris shook his head soberly. "Friend of no one," he murmured.
Fenris could quote the Qun. It was entirely inappropriate and probably slightly perverted to get all tingly at this particular place and time but she couldn't help it. If Fenris started preaching the Qun, they would get a whole lot more converts, she thought as Javaris cleared his throat, trying to get things back on track. Fenris's interruption had thrown off his pitch but he recovered with admirable quickness. "Yes, well, that being said, I'm here to report that your hated Tal-Vashoth were felled, one and all. Right?" He glanced back at them.
"Nicely oversimplified," Hawke muttered, rubbing the bandaged spot on her shoulder where an arrow had gotten her.
"Yes they were," Javaris continued on like she hadn't spoken. He leaned forward a bit, a greedy light in his eyes that had Hawke and Varric exchanging a glance. "So, I'm ready to open negotiations for the explosive powder, as we agreed."
There was a long moment of silence, then the Arishok spoke quietly, "No."
Simple and without a hint of drama, the single word echoed through the quiet compound. The Arishok said nothing more. Javaris stared without comprehension at the Qunari leader, blinking almost owlishly. He turned to Hawke. "He's not getting it. Make your chatty elf say something."
Alessa bristled on Fenris's behalf. "He has a name," she hissed.
"Just shut up and do it!" It was the nerves in his eyes that made Hawke pause. The sudden tension in the air made her skin tingle and she saw Varric straighten, shooting Javaris a look that promised very unpleasant things in the future. She felt, more than saw, Merrill shrink back a bit, looking around nervously. Alessa slipped a hand into her pocket, closing her fingers over the talisman there. She couldn't wear it, couldn't allow countless eyes to see it. She had no idea if it was magic branded into it that made her certain it wasn't supposed to be seen by the eyes of another but the fact the saarebas had given such a thing to her...
The incident with Ketojen had brought into clear focus how little Alessa was prepared to deal with the Qunari. What she knew from Theta was only second-hand knowledge; intellectually she had understood some of it, but she didn't really understand them where it counted. Never in her life had the vast difference between reading or hearing and actually experiencing been so clear to her. She didn't understand how they thought. She couldn't even try and see things from their perspective because it made absolutely no sense to her. She suddenly felt small and foolish, surrounded on all sides by them with the one who was supposed to know what was going on turning to her for advice.
She looked to Fenris not because Javaris told her to but because he seemed to actually have an understanding she didn't. He must have seen it in her eyes or expression, because he shook his head, speaking quietly, "Qunari do not abandon a debt." He looked up. "I humbly request clarification from the Arishok."
Well, that seemed simple enough...
Hawke laid a reassuring hand on Merrill's arm. The Arishok studied Fenris for a moment. He seemed impressed, or as close to impressed as he got. "I have a growing lack of disgust for you." He leaned forward. "The dwarf imagined the deal for the gaatlok. He invented a task to prove his worth when he has none."
Hawke listened intently, looking between the Arishok and Fenris. It took her a moment before the words settled in and she sent Javaris a scorching look.
Fenris nodded. "Then we have wrongly inserted ourselves in your affairs. Would you have us kill this dwarf?" He gestured toward Javaris.
The dwarf's eyes went wide. "Wait...what now?"
"If you have faced Tal-Vashoth, he is not worthy of dying to you. As he was not worthy of dying to them," the Arishok said.
Hawke felt a bit more balanced now. The Arishok seemed more like a logical person rather than some kind of incomprehensible force. That didn't mean she was completely at ease when he looked at her. "But you...you keep good company. Let him live. And leave."
"But...he has to sell! It's a product! People want it!" Javaris protested.
Alessa barely managed to resist the urge to slap him upside the head. "I do believe he just proved he doesn't have to do anything," she said quietly in a tight voice.
"There is no profit in empowering those not of the Qun," the Arishok said calmly. "The means of creating the gaatlok is ours alone." He paused for a moment, then said pointedly. "It shall be dispensed only to our enemies...in the traditional manner."
Learn to read a damn situation, you moron, Hawke thought at Javaris.
The dwarf was furious, that much was obvious, but he also wasn't stupid. "You...are a frustrating people!" he spat.
Okay, not completely stupid...
He scowled at her, starting to turn away. "And you're fired!"
Oh no, you don't. She narrowed her eyes. "Slow your roll there, dwarf."
Varric stepped in front of him, blocking his way. "You aren't slinking off just yet. Just because you were stupid enough to invent a deal where there wasn't one doesn't me we were."
"We had a legitimate deal," Hawke said, crossing her arms.
The Arishok overheard them and leaned forward again, frowning. "Dwarf, did your imaginary bargain make promises on my behalf?"
Hawke exchanged another look with Varric, silently agreeing not to push the Arishok. They'd let Javaris walk for now and shake it out of him later. Javaris's eyes flicked from side to side and he licked his lips nervously. "I...expected your wisdom to be more profitable."
Wrong answer. The Arishok was silent for a long moment, looking down and appearing to go into contemplation, but some kind of signal only noticed by his warriors had the ones around him standing at attention, a couple of them pulling their weapons. The Arishok looked up again, standing slowly, his voice a low rumble that allowed for no refusal. "Then you will pay on my behalf."
A braver man than Javaris would have quailed at the sound of that voice. He was clearly fighting the urge to cower. He huffed and turned to Varric, thrusting a coin pouch at him. "Sod it all, take your coin. Take whatever!" A four year old would have been proud to throw a tantrum the likes of which he did as he stomped away. "Hard headed oxmen and mongrel dog lords, suck on your powder and blow yer head off. Sod it!"
Varric rolled his eyes and pocketed the coin.
"You will leave as well, human." Alessa turned to find the Arishok studying her with a look she wasn't able to interpret. "There is no more coin for you here." He sat down slowly and she realized he had not missed her hand going into her pocket. She had been so wrapped up, it had not occurred to her until this point that Ketojan and his keepers had all been the Arishok's men. She wondered if he had found them. Remembering what Saemus Dumar had said about his qunari friend's body, she wondered if he cared.
Her fingers closed over the talisman again. She lifted her eyes to meet the Arishok's dark ones. "I killed some of your men."
She heard Merrill suck in a breath and saw Varric stiffen. The Arishok, however, said nothing, he simply studied her.
"Except for the saarabas. He killed himself." Hawke felt a sense of assurance settle over her, understanding without a moment of doubt that this man didn't want to hear excuses or fumbling explanations. Being straight-forward with him was the way to go, she could understand that. Even if she understood nothing else about him. She shrugged, turning to go. "I figured you had a right to know."
The Arishok waited until she was walking away before he spoke again, just loud enough for her to hear, "Your inevitable death holds great promise."
She paused and looked over her shoulder at him. He had risen from his seat, watching them go. "I look forward to it. As should you."
For a moment, she simply stood, studying him with the same measuring look as he was giving her. Then she turned and left the compound, her friends falling into step beside her.
Author's Note: To Bekah (didn't see a reply link there): Thanks so much for the kind review! Yes, Alessa sees the whole working for nobles/fighting thugs as a means to an end...the end being more books, of course. Don't you worry about Theta, she and Alessa share the ability to get into and out of trouble. I'm glad you like her, she's one of my favorite side characters to write.