Chapter 14: In Transit.
They made it to an open plaza where they commandeered one of the shuttles that had been used to drop the mercenaries. Vasir commanded the team to remain behind and make sure that they weren't followed before she motioned to Abby to get inside. She did so reluctantly, knowing that she couldn't fight the asari but also realizing that if she took her off world there might be no way for Shepard to find them again. She considered once or twice to just try and bolt away from Vasir but she had done too well when she fixed the asari up and she appeared to be almost unhindered by her injuries now. She certainly gave no hint that she felt unwell when she spoke to the salarian who had commanded the vessel despite the alien's wide eyed look at all the blood that covered both Abby and the spectre. They let them have the shuttle and Vasir wasted no time to get them airborne. Abby found herself standing in the passenger area, watching Vasir through the doorway as she strapped herself into the chair and started working with the controls. The asari didn't pay her any mind, having discovered that she wasn't a threat and it was almost insulting that she was willing to turn her back on her.
Not that I can kill her now, Abby thought bitterly as she sat down and strapped herself in with shaking hands before she settled back and clutched her ribs. I saved her life. Doing anything to harm her now... It just wouldn't make sense.
It didn't make sense that Jane had not yet managed to reach them. They couldn't have been that far behind and she remembered hearing frantic radio transmissions to Vasir when they were fighting them as they crossed through the apartments. What if they were dead?
Sitting down, a rush of exhaustion flooded through her and Abby realized that, against all the odds, she was incredibly hungry. She couldn't remember when last she ate and her last glimpse of the world outside had been one enveloped in complete darkness. The day was at an end and she had no idea where a new one would lead her. They left Illium with Vasir calmly speaking to the air control operators over the city, using her Spectre's authority to check up on the Normandy and see whether it was preparing to move again. It hadn't and there appeared to be no further transmissions from it. Abby didn't know what to think of it but she felt her hope at being rescued die when the shuttle took off and left Illium's atmosphere.
As the craft stabilized Vasir sat in the cockpit for a bit longer, fiddling with the dials before she finally put the shuttle on autopilot and stood up. She was limping now, clutching her side as she moved to where Abby was and knelt down by a panel at the wall. As Abby watched, she withdrew a first aid kit and brought it closer. Thinking that she wanted her to look at her side again, Abby struggled to undo the straps but Vasir soon stopped her as she joined her, holding up her hand briefly before she undid the straps. When Abby reached for the first aid kit she shook her head.
"Take off your shirt," she said much to Abby's surprise. "Let's have a look."
Embarrassed and shocked, Abby could only stare at her for a moment.
Vasir sighed impatiently and shook her head. "I'm getting tired of waving my gun at you," she said. "So do me a favour and take off your shirt. I can promise you, you won't regret it."
Not knowing what to make of it, Abby did so with trembling hands, her face burning with embarrassment when the cool air of the craft touched her skin. She felt goose bumps on her back and neck and their appearance seemed to fascinate Vasir as she took a moment to run her finger over a particularly prominent patch over her collar bone.
"You humans are fascinating creatures," she said as she took her hand away and opened up the first aid kit. "I have not worked with your species often, but you are the least predictable. You are so close to us..." Her gaze touched Abby's breasts. "But still, you are very different. Tell me, where are you injured?"
Abby couldn't answer. She had not said a word to Vasir since she managed to get her bleeding sorted and she was afraid of what would leave her mouth if she dared. She was angry with the alien in a way that she couldn't quite explain. The asari studied her then sighed tiredly. Now that they were alone and out of harm's way she seemed paler and exhausted.
"I want you to lift your arms slightly, we'll deal with those ribs first." She hesitated. "Humans have ribs right?" Abby knew from reading Chakwas's books that asari and human anatomy was surprisingly similar. She had figured that it was because, regardless of a body's shape, it still had to perform the same functions. Asari lacked hair though and that always seemed to be a point that fascinated them about the human body.
She nodded slightly without looking directly at Vasir and rather focused on her hands, watching as she took what looked like a thumb thick bandage from the kit. Vasir carefully ran her fingers over the right side of Abby's chest as she raised her elbows slightly, her gaze taking in the already darkening bruise that formed there. Her touch hurt but when she grasped Abby's side just underneath her ribs the vet jumped more out of surprise than pain.
"Does it hurt when I press there?" Vasir asked gravely, her eyes immediately finding Abby's. There was such intensity in her gaze that Abby had to shake her head.
"No," she said, her voice sounding strange to her own ears. "Not there. Just... my chest. And my shoulder." When they were running, she had forgotten about it but now that she was sitting quietly the pain that she had felt in the car was back tenfold.
Vasir made a murmuring sound and motioned to Abby to shift her elbows again. She took the bandage and used it to strap Abby's ribs, the texture oddly cool. It remind her of medigel but Abby was even more surprised when Vasir, as she tore off the bandage, ran her omni-tool over it, causing the bandages to tighten ever so slightly. The pain, although still present, subsided almost immediately.
"Nanocells," Vasir explained when she saw Abby's amazement. "Programmed to respond to outside stimuli. It's a new prototype on the market but the Shadow Broker has managed to secure quite a large shipment of it. It is very useful and it delivers medigel at short intervals directly into the pores of the skin for better absorption. Tell me about your shoulder."
Abby winched as Vasir reached for it, but her reaction was more from instinct than actual pain. "It just hurts," she said, feeling like a child. "I think I fell on it in the park. I don't think it's broken or anything."
Vasir chuckled and manipulated it a bit. "You fall a lot," she pointed out. "And you're right, it's not. I'm going to strap it, but I doubt it will trouble you for long." She made a quick job of it and, when she was done, applied some medigel to the scrapes on Abby's arm. The vet tolerated it but found herself becoming more and more uncomfortable.
"Why are you doing this?" She queried when Vasir was done and helped her pull the shirt back over her head. "Why do you bother?"
Vasir, even paler now than she had been before, smiled at her though the look contained no mirth. "Why did you help me?" She countered. "Believe it or not Dr. Gable, I'm not here to hurt you. Most of the injuries you sustained were due to your so called friends."
Abby looked at her, but didn't reply immediately. She shifted slightly, winching in pain as she did so but relieved that she felt a little better. Vasir wasn't done yet and took a syringe must like the one she had used on her from the box. Abby sat very still as she adjusted the dose and injected her into her neck as she had done before.
"This will help," Vasir said quietly. "I think you should sleep for the time being, we still have a long journey ahead of us."
Abby nodded numbly, keeping her eyes downcast as she wondered whether she should lay down on the floor or attempt to get comfortable on the chairs. When Vasir didn't move away from her immediately she turned back to the alien and gave her a questioning look. The asari had been studying her, her gaze truly puzzled.
"You're not a soldier," she pointed out. "And you seem to have some medical skills. I don't understand what the word vet means. Are you a Cerberus medic? An experiment?"
Abby's mouth thinned in anger as she shook her head. "I'm not with Cerberus," she pointed out. "Neither is Shepard. I'm nobody's experiment." How do you know? Your world isn't real here.
Vasir didn't seem convinced and sat back with a cold expression on her face. "Shepard is," she said. "She still carries their markings, uses their top ranking officers. Cerberus is sly, don't underestimate their methods."
"She's not with them," Abby insisted loyally. "She doesn't do the Illusive Man's bidding. She's cut her ties with them."
Vasir snorted as she pushed herself up. "She's in their body," she said as she packed away the first aid kit and put it away, taking something else from the panel instead. "She bears their colours, uses their people. Not everybody is as easily swayed by the great Commander Shepard's heroism. If she thinks that she is done with them, she is a fool." She returned to Abby and to her shock slapped a pair of thick handcuffs onto her wrists. She then pulled Abby to the floor and attached them to a cable she had not seen on the wall.
"What are you doing?" Abby breathed, immediately twisting her wrists in an attempt to see if she could get out of them. "Vasir, I'm not going to fight you."
"No," the asari said. "But, I'm going to take a moment to close my as well and I don't want you to get up and signal the Normandy when I sleep."
For a moment Abby felt a twinge of blind terror clutch her heart as she jerked against the cable. "What if you die?" she breathed. "Vasir, you're still in a critical condition! You might still have internal bleeding! What if you die and I'm tied up? I can't get out of these!"
"That's the idea," the asari said simply and went to the cockpit again to check up on their readings. "You're not supposed to get out of them." She returned to the room and lay down on the opposite side of the room, taking off her heavy armour as she did so. "I'm touched by your concern but you don't have to worry. Even if I die, this shuttle will continue on its trajectory to the Shadow Broker's base. Some agents will be sent to pick you up if they don't hear anything from me in a few hours." She settled down and closed her eyes unconcerned.
Abby continued to stare at her, her mouth dry as her body shuddered involuntarily. She didn't know whether it was from her disease or fear. "Please don't die," she whispered, hating herself for sounding so scared.
At first, Vasir did nothing, then she smiled slightly and turned to look at Abby.
"Don't worry," she said. "I won't."
She followed him because she felt as if she didn't have a choice. If she wanted to know whether his employer meant her and Abby any harm, she had to know more and clearly, he intended to supply her with information on his own terms. Asura grew uneasy when Martin lead them to the shuttle bay and motioned her towards a very sleek looking small transporter. When he saw her hesitation he smiled and took of his hat, placing it on the dashboard.
"I promise that I will bring you back," he said. "Trust me Asura, we mean you no harm."
She found herself rubbing her brow. ""Where are we going?" she queried. "I'll confess that your colleague has given me a lot of trust issues. I'm not just going to go with anybody. And, you haven't really told me who you work for." Her eyes narrowed. "And what you know about Abby."
Martin seemed to see her concern and took it to heart. He leaned against the small craft and crossed his arms.
"We know that Dr. Gable was being hunted by Lenelle's people because she wanted to use her to manipulate you. I also know that Dr. Gable has some..." He hesitated, watching Asura's face. "Unique gifts. Gifts that will be misused if she falls into the wrong hands. My employer can protect her secret. He is as powerful as the galactic council, more so in some ways because he works in the shadows."
Asura shivered suddenly and took a step back, her mind racing. "The Shadow Broker," she whispered. "You work for the Shadow Broker." Martin didn't deny it, but smiled at her.
"And so could you," he said. "The Shadow Broker can extend his protection to your home," he pointed out. "Even on Omega, he has quite a lot of influence. If your Dr. Gable wants to live here in accordance to the offer that Aria T'loak made to her then he can assure that she does so unhindered. She can live a normal life. And, so can you if you decide to come with me."
Asura stood very still as she stared at him. She felt suddenly as she had on the rooftop when Abby had revealed Lenelle's deception to her. She knew that her life was being controlled by forces outside of her control. And, if she declined an offer from the Shadow Broker... She remembered a trip that she had taken with her father to the Citadel. Raile Dushkriti had been adamant that she knew about how power was distributed through the galaxy and which families and people were important. She hadn't understood why her father told her all of this but the ex-councilwoman had said simply.
"As much as I would want to believe for it to be true, your mother and I cannot protect you forever. I can't protect you forever. You will have to know who is powerful and alight yourself with them. You have skills; use it if you want to remain free."
She hadn't paid that advice a lot of mind until now. Closing her eyes, feeling the chain of her condition tighten around her, Asura nodded slowly, coming to a conclusion.
"If it is going to be a long journey, just give me a moment or two to prepare please." She was starting to hate Martin's smile.
"Of course," the human said. "It's a few hours and we are expected. You can take half an hour if you need it, no more."
Still feeling uncomfortable, Asura nodded and turned around immediately, not bothering to politely excuse herself from his company. It wasn't lost on her that they were still using Abby against her and because she cared for the human, she had no choice but to follow them and see where they led her.
They didn't use the Normandy's shuttle but managed to acquire another one with the help of some of Miranda's contacts. It came to them fully loaded with supplies, weapons and Garrus, who seemed perfectly happy to be off of the Normandy. He told Shepard quietly when they were boarding that Miranda had wanted to come along but thought her presence might make Liara more difficult to deal with. Jane didn't think that anything could make the asari more difficult. She sat in the corner of the shuttle, staring at the blank wall, her thoughts closed off from the rest of them. Jack had given her one look and joined Garrus in the cockpit. Jane didn't think that the biotic would be able to contain her temper much longer. She had not been pleased with their decisions to let Abby go with the spectre and Jane couldn't help but feel that it had put a rift between them. For the first time since they've met, Jack reached a point in her relationship with the commander where she didn't agree with her. It wasn't akin to Jane making a mistake but she could feel that Jack had struggled with her to obey. Jane admired her loyalty to the vet but she also needed her to see the bigger picture that Jane had to consider more than one person's welfare.
And, she couldn't help but feel that she would do the council a service as well if she exposed the Shadow Broker. By their calculations they left Illium about an hour after Vasir's shuttle. When they were out of the planet's airspace Jane closed the door between the passenger side and the cockpit. She felt Liara's eyes on her as she collected the first aid kit and went to sit beside her.
"I'm fine," Liara said before she even opened the kit, the hostility her voice surprising Jane. She ignored it and opened the box regardless. "I'll be the judge of that," she said. "This is not negotiable Liara." She knew that Liara wanted to say the moment she opened her mouth and decided to cut her off. "And I know you are not a part of my crew but you are my friend. Surely that must still count for something?"
Liara had the grace to blush and instead of answering, carefully took off her jacket – exposing her injured arm. She set to work carefully, seeing evidence that Liara had already applied some medigel in the field. Her heart ached when she used sterile water to rinse out the wound and she didn't miss that Liara hardly flinched the spite the fact that it must've been painful.
Liara had become very hard.
Now that they were alone she once again felt the gap between them, the unspoken argument that remained around them like a shadow. What bothered Jane was that even if they managed to rescue Feron, she wasn't sure whether it would make things right. Thoughts of Samara came and went as the ache in her heart grew. She wondered whether she would even see her again and have the opportunity to tell her all that she felt. It dawned on her that she had that opportunity with Liara now. And life changed too quickly to waste it.
"What happened between us?" She asked softly as she took more care than was necessary to rinse out Liara's wounds. The asari glanced at her – her eyes tight with pain as she frowned and shook her head. "This is hardly the time to discuss it, Shepard," she said coldly but Jane disagreed with her.
"I don't think that we will have another," she said. "Liara we can't keep on doing this. We can't keep on dancing around each other. I want to know what happened to make you so angry with me. And don't deny it I'm not stupid."
It didn't look as if Liara was going to answer and Shepard, grasping at straws, recalled a conversation that they had had earlier in the day.
"You said in Nos Astra that all of this is because of me, that I made all of this trouble about me. What did you mean by that?"
She finished cleaning out the gunshot wound and reapplied some medigel. It began to dawn on her that Liara probably wouldn't answer her and the thought made her miserable, realizing that she had probably truly lost the asari's friendship.
"Have I been that selfish?" she queried softly, her voice pained.
That made Liara shift as she closed her eyes and slowly but surely shook her head. "No Jane," she breathed. "It's not that. You... You were never selfish. Ever." She snorted, her eyes turning bitter. "That is the problem."
Stumped, Jane stared at her. "I... I don't follow."
Liara's expression was pained as she looked at her as if she was still deciding to reveal what was in her mind. It was clearly not easy for her, the bitterness changing from anger to despair.
"Shepard, you don't know what you are," she said softly. "You've never understood it. You think that you're just a soldier, that you're just a commander. But you're not." When Jane shifted awkwardly, remembering what Ashley had said to her on Horizon, Liara continued with more bravado. "You know what we feel about you. Garrus and Tali joined you without a second's thought. And now, again, they look to you to fix their problems. You sorted out Garrus' problem with Sidonis, the turian who betrayed him on Omega. You stopped Tali from being exiled by the Migrant Fleet. When you step into people's lives you immediately become their saviour." She sniffed and to Shepard's surprise, blinked some tears which she quickly wiped away. "You just come in and fix everything. You take over and then, when you leave, none of us know what to do without you."
Still awkward, not sure what Liara meant, Jane sat back a little. She remembered all too well the night Samara melded with her the first time, that evening when she was allowed a glimpse of what the Justicar thought she was and it frightened her because Samara's perception of her was more powerful than she thought she could ever be. "Liara, I had no choice," she said softly. "I... I had to die. To save you, everybody else..."
The asari's face was cold as she looked at her. "This isn't about you dying Jane," she snapped. "It's about what you do when you're alive. You come in and save the day, never once thinking that if you do it one too many times, you leave us in a place where we don't know how to work without you. We don't know how to live without you." She closed her eyes and turned her face away. "It was so hard when you left," she said. "But I managed to find my feet again, to carry on living. To mourn you even though I carried the hope that Cerberus might revive you."
Not sure where she was going with it, Jane grimaced and slowly started bandaging Liara's arm. "You seem to have done alright," she said softly. "You carried on fine without me Liara."
"Yes," the asari said bitterly. "But then you come back and once again I'm reliant on you to save me. To help me. In just one day, you've saved my life twice. You brought this information to me, you led me to Nyxeris. You come in like a saviour and undo... Undo everything that I've tried to accomplish. And that's why I'm angry because I'm once again sitting here, letting you take care of me. You even offered to take me up and whisk me off in the Normandy. And I would've gone with you. I wanted to go with you. I've tried so hard to tell myself that I'm fine without you and you stepped in and made me a liar."
Jane hesitated and finished with Liara's bandage. When she was done, she moved a little away from her so that she could give her space. "So..." she began slowly. "You're not so much angry at me, but at yourself."
Liara blinked at her startled, clearly a new revelation to her but she didn't say anything. Jane sighed softly and stood up, pacing across the width of the shuttle before she settled down across from Liara.
"You all see me as this hero," she said softly. "Someone that you need. But, you all seem to forget that I need you just as much. You, Samara, you both stare yourself blind against this image of me, this... this hero. This woman who knows exactly what to do on her own but you're wrong. I took Garrus and Tali in because I needed them. I recruited Jack because I needed her and I asked you to come with me because I needed you. I won't be who I am without you. And I don't know how to make you see that." Samara, I miss you. How could you leave me like that when I needed you? "I see where you're coming from Liara but I need you to understand where I'm coming from as well. You make it sound as if you are all pawns that I use, that I manipulate across the board where I need you." Abby. That's what you did with Abby. "But it's not true. I'm just as scared as you are, just as angry. You think I want to die again? No. I'll do anything that I can to see another day if it means that I can spare you what I saw you all go through when I left. It's eating at me just as much as it's eating at you." She sniffed again and looked away from Liara. "What you're doing is hurting me Liara. Keeping me at arm's length, telling me that you're not a part of my team anymore. That hurts. It hurts a hell of a lot. I thought you were my friend I mean, there was a time where I even thought that we could be more than that."
When Liara didn't answer and she could no longer hold back the tight knot that had formed in her throat Shepard stood up and turned her back on the woman, bracing herself against the cockpit door. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, knowing that there was nowhere that she could hide her tears. Still, even though she knew that she would probably lose control of her voice she still had one more thing to say.
"If you are angry with me Liara, that's fine. But make damn sure you're angry at me for the right reasons."
"So," Garrus purred. "What pissed you off?"
He had been watching her for a while and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that the psychotic biotic was angry. She always looked as if she had bitten into a bitter pear but tonight she had a special look on her face, one he would associate with someone planning on stepping on a salarian's eggs intentionally.
Jack snorted and crossed her arms over her barely covered chest, turning her eyes up to the sky as the galaxy lay open before them. "I..." She hesitated, clearly thinking twice about sharing her mind with him. "I'm just thinking that this is all fucking unnecessary Garrus. We had them, we fucking had them and Shepard just let her go. I don't get it. I don't know why she's willing to fucking risk Abby's life in order to satisfy some personal fucking vendetta that that fucking asari has."
Garrus glanced at her and thought that it must be very exhausting being Jack. He stopped himself from smiling and rather put on a sombre expression, hoping that the little human wouldn't see the humour in his eyes. "You know, it's not just Liara's vendetta," he said. "It's Shepard's as well."
Jack growled at him and gave him a look. "If this is going to be one of those 'I've known her for years and..'. speeches fucking save it."
This time Garrus laughed. "It's not that," he said. "Jack, this is one of those 'cut her some slack' speeches. Shepard is trying, as she would with any of us, to save Liara. To save their friendship." His face grew troubled. "Or what's left of it anyway. And to save this Feron. Sometimes, being a commander means that you have to make difficult decisions. That you have to weigh up the risks and decide what unit, what of your man power, you're going to sacrifice to gain more ground. It's tough, but you follow through with it, as Jane did." When he didn't see the reaction on Jack's face that he wanted he gave her a pointed look.
"That's why she's the commander Jack, because she understands this and she can make these sorts of decisions. And you have to trust that it's the right thing, regardless of what you think."
Jack sighed and for a moment appeared almost miserable. "Garrus, it's fucking complicated following her around."
The turian chuckled and settled back, hearing someone touch the cockpit door behind them. There was a moment's pause before it finally opened and when Jane stepped through he knew immediately that she and Liara had said words. She didn't look at them but focused her gaze on the world around them, watching the stars as they marked a path which they followed. He didn't let Jack see it, but he dropped his hand and touched her leg, bringing his hand up when she dropped hers.
Squeezing it softly, he let go of her and motioned to the stars.
"Don't worry," he said, appearing light hearted. "Everything will be alright; I think we're catching up."
The End of Chapter 14
AN: Hey everybody. If I understand it correctly, this site now offers us the chance to create 'front covers' for our stories. Being an artistic lump that still uses MS Paint to do any sort of image editing, I thought to put it out there that – if anybody would like to, I'd be more than grateful if someone can make a cover for my two stories. Thanks.
Also, my thanks again to all who are reading. I really appreciate it.
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