A/N: Dear readers once again dark fate has touched my family. My sister has been diagnost with ovarian cancer. They were set to operate but found her blood level too low. She had lost six pints of blood. The are now set to do a colonoscopy tomorrow as they fear the cancer has spread. I will be out of town and bogged down with worry. I am posting this to let you know that if I don't post on Sunday it isn't because I abandoned my story. I have it written and I am editing it as I post. It will be finished so please pray for me and my family as we muddle through this.
Chapter Fourteen
Interludes
Erik had stayed to watch Tamara until she had extinguished the last of the lighting. When she had whispered a good-night to him he had almost lost his judgment once again. Restraint had never been easy for him when it concerned things he wanted badly and he wanted Tamara with every fiber of his body. Manly urges were not easily kept under control especially for someone who knew what joys other men experienced but had been denied them all of his life. Knowing Tamara would only protest moderately to save her modesty made his restraint all the harder.
Having learned a little from his mistake with Christine, Erik would now wait patiently for that final surrender. If tonight could be used as an indication he would not have long to wait. A few more nights romancing her and she would fall into his trap. With some small part of his brain not governed by beastly urges it occurred to him that perhaps it was he who would fall into a trap, one set by a feminine hand but a trap all the same.
Erik had an unrealistic view of things. Certainly she had been willing to allow him liberties last night even beyond any he had thought possible. What he could not know, having little or no experience with women, was that women were creatures of change. What pleased them once may not please them again. If a woman allowed certain exchanges of an intimate nature upon further reflection she might have a different outlook on what had occurred in a weak moment. Being of a shy nature and never experiencing certain emotions would quite possibly cause her embarrassment such that she may have a need to rationalize what had taken place.
Tamara never having been on any one on one meetings with a man other than business concerns had no idea how to handle all those emotions Erik had made her feel. At the time he had woven a seductive spell around her through which everything had looked romantic. Upon waking her memories began to take a different spin. What had been of her free will last night suddenly she questioned what had really happened. Had he drugged her? Hypnotized her? Never could she imagine being so free with a man that she would allow him to kiss her upon one meeting. She would not class what had taken place as anything other than a meeting of two potential business partners on her part at least. At any future meetings she must make it clear there would be no repeat of what had taken place the night of their rooftop encounter.
He must have used some magical form of persuasion she felt certain. She felt tempted to cover the mirror with a cloth but would not give him the satisfaction of knowing she felt any concern about his ability to see and hear her while she occupied her own room. A gentleman would honor her privacy and she would be telling him so in short order. He had given his word as a gentleman but could that be taken as an honorable declaration or merely paying lip service to something he knew she expected?
Knowing her grandmother would not wait much longer to begin her inquest about last evening Tamara prepared for the day. Careful not to do anything she would not want others to witness she dressed behind her dressing screen then left her room. She had barely stepped out the door when she had been set upon by three babbling women vying for position to ask her questions concerning what had taken place last evening.
"Please ladies. At least allow me to seat myself at the breakfast table before you begin to badger me for answers." Tamara felt a need for extra time to gather her wits. It went without saying she would not be mentioning those intimate moments she felt had been the result of some form of hypnosis or drugs.
"Tamara dear I have no intention of badgering you. I resent your suggestion that I would. One would think from your attitude something of a personal nature had taken place instead of only talk of business." Lillian knew her granddaughter well and if nothing untoward had taken place Tamara would be all set to give a verbatim account of what had taken place. To further convince Lillian Tamara had something to hide Tamara turned quickly away just as a crimson tide had been working its way up into her face. Now she marched down the hallway as if late for an important meeting and only had seconds to spare.
The other three women lifted their skirts so they could hurry their steps to catch up with Tamara. Antoinette had an idea what had taken place. Erik had hinted at just such a plan. After much arguing back and forth she had felt Erik had seen reason and abandoned this lunacy of luring a woman into his web. It was not that Erik did not have every right to pursue a woman he wished to romance, or the very stuff women found attractive in a man. What worried her about the whole thing had been Erik's penchant for grasping on to things too tightly.
Having been denied so much over his lifetime Erik would do anything to gain something he wanted. That mentality had led him to commit horrible crimes in the past. Christine had played a large role in his descent into insanity. He had come to love her over time and had wanted her for always discounting how she might feel about tying herself to a murderer and extortionist.
Now Erik appeared to have set his sights on Tamara. She worried what would happen this time if the woman drawing his eye did not return his affections. Erik claimed he would not be offering his heart but Antoinette knew better than anyone that for Erik to have a woman in the way he wanted would be tantamount to joining them for eternity. He would not be able to let her go if they spent one night in one another's arms assuming Tamara would even be willing to do so.
On the long walk to the dining room Tamara went over several ways to begin the discussion. At all costs she must head off her grandmother's digging for information about her Phantom. Debating whether or not to reveal his name Tamara sank onto her chair at the table with trepidation. For quite some few minutes she fiddled with her napkin placing it precisely on her lap, repositioned the fork, knife and spoon. The suacer and cup did not sit right where they were so a new spot had to be found. The perfectly smooth tablecloth needed several swipes before it met with her satisfaction. How could she tell them that she had been so taken with the gentleman that not one business idea had passed between them concerning him becoming a legitimate employee? Nothing had been discussed other than his talents, possible future productions and various inventions he had dangled in front of her when he gleaned she had an inquisitive mind.
A servant placed a pot of tea on the table as well as a plate of pastries and fruit. When no one reached forward to pour tea Meg took on the task. Her mother and Madame Palmenter were studiously watching Tamara hardly seeming to notice tea had been brought to them. Meg wanted to shake Tamara just as she used to want to shake Christine to gain insight into the mysterious man from the shadows.
"Tamara I demand to know what happened as your grandmother and employer, the one with controling interest in all of this." Lillian rapped her knuckles on the table to emphasize each word. Frustration had set in and her patience had come to an end.
"I might remind you Grandmother Lily that I have invested a considerable amount of money to keep things running until such time as the theatre begins to turn a profit. I am not under your employ if you remember correctly you refused to hire me. Only when I began to ask certain questions did you offer to let me handle the business side of things."
"Are you sure we had that discussion Tamara? I am sure I remember hiring you. Oh dear. You must forgive me Tamara. I am getting on and my memory isn't what it once was. If you say you don't want to work for me then I must carry on as best as I can. Don't worry dear. I shall make the best of things. I will muddle through somehow." Lillian made a great show of wiping the corners of her eyes and sniffling quite loudly. People at the closet tables were obviously listening and condemning Tamara with their accusing looks.
"Grandmother you may snow everyone else but you forget I am wise to your ploys." Tamara could barely keep the smile from her lips. Often she had thought her grandmother had missed her calling. She would have made an excellent actress. Filling her plate with a selection of pastries Tamara began to eat. When Lillian saw she would gain no ground from Tamara she gave one last sniff then began to fill her plate.
"You my dear Tamara have become a hardened woman. Time was when all I need do to gain your favor had been bringing out the handkerchief. Now not even my tears sway you." Lillian conceded she may have used the old woman in tears a few times too many.
"Not hardened Grandmother, just wiser and we both know your mind works like a steel trap. You forget nothing. Will you tell what scheme you are cooking up or shall I have to wait until some disaster befalls me?"
"Tamara Louisa Stern! I would never do anything that would put you in any real danger at least not knowingly. And what is this scheme business? You know very well I never interfere in anyone else's business." Lillian sniffed this time indignantly.
"For shame Grandmother. How about the time when Mrs. Lowell and her daughter were…"
"You dare bring that up? Tamara you know very well that woman and her daughter were being fed a load of…" Lillian looked around then leaned in to finish, "They were being fed a load of horse droppings. That young man had his eye on Henrietta's inheritance and was not above romancing both mother and daughter to achieve his goals. You know very well Mrs. Lowell and I were dear friends. Someone had to put a stop to things before they went any further." Lillian felt justified in helping her friend Millicent rid herself of a devious womanizer. The young man in question had been courting both mother and daughter on the sly hoping to snare one of the wealthy women. Wisely he had sworn them to secrecy claiming his family would not approve any liaison with anyone other than the woman they had chosen for him.
"Be that as it may…" Tamara stopped as it occurred to her she and her grandmother were feeding the gossip mill with food for fodder for many days to come. Lowering her voice and leaning in she spoke quietly once more.
"Alright you win Grandmother, for now. Don't think I have forgotten your plotting. We will revisit that discussion in private later. There really isn't much to tell about last evening. He kept to the shadows so I never got a clear view of him. We did speak of several things concerning the theatre but nothing specific about his becoming our employee. I knew he was a musician but I think he really is some sort of genius as well. He told me about several inventions he has been working on. Why, last night he had one that played music without the aid of a live musician. It really was incredible."
For the next fifteen or so minutes Tamara continued to speak the man's praises. For a man she claimed to not have seen very well or discussed much of business matters, Tamara had learned more about his personal aptitudes than anything else. Lillian lowered her head to the pastry on her plate. Feigning interest in the sweet she picked pieces of it then brought them to her mouth. Valiantly she struggled to refrain from an outright pleased hallelujah escaping her mouth. Her granddaughter may not know it or be willing to admit it but she had been smitten with the man. An instant attraction at first sight had been beyond her wildest dreams. At best she had thought they might strike up a pleasant conversation.
This had to mean something. Tamara never let anything come between her and business. For so long Lillian had worried her granddaughter had traded romance for profit. Upon further observance it had come to Lillian that Tamara had entered English society at a distinct disadvantage. Her free and easy upbringing while enlightening and healthy for mind and heart, it had been in no way the proper way to teach a young woman how to survive social gatherings.
Lillian had felt her daughter had been remiss as a mother by not giving Tamara a few basic coping skills. Proper dress and knowledge of etiquette other than what cutlery to use would have been useful. Tamara's parents had given her more than any normal parent could have yet their open-minded attitude had left Tamara to either sink or swim. Sometimes Lillian thought Tamara had already gone under twice and hovered over that third time going under never to resurface.
She had already been a young woman when she came to live with Lillian at least close enough. Having brought her own daughter up with strict rules of etiquette, Lillian had assumed her daughter had done the same for Tamara. The first occasion they had gone out in society had pointed out plainly how different Tamara was from the other had been far too outspoken on subjects men considered taboo for women. Rather than congregate with the gossiping ladies Tamara had entered into a heated discussion about politics. While Lillian had been proud of her granddaughter's forthright opinions no one else had been impressed.
Needless to say suitors had not come knocking down the door. By the time Tamara had learned social skills she had already been firmly entrenched in the idea of running her own life and finances. Lillian could find no fault with wanting to be the master of one's own destiny but it needed to be done with finesse. She herself resorted to tears and pity to win many of her own arguments. Sadly that technique no longer worked on Tamara.
"Tamara dear what if anything did you say concerning our proposition?" What she really wished to know were all those details Tamara had been making such pains to keep from revealing. The other two women may not know Tamara skirted around topics she wished to avoid but Lillian's bloodhound nose had been twitching ever since Tamara had sat down at the table and began to fidget.
"Proposition?" Tamara repeated the word as if were spoken in an incomprehensive foreign language.
"Yes dear, what did he say about joining us as a valued employee instead of a nuisance?" No one could miss the agitation or nervous fidgeting Tamara could not control. Lillian knew for sure now something had happened Tamara did not wish to speak about openly.
"Well…he…we…Music!" Tamara pounced on that topic eagerly causing the other three to startle at the suddenness and overly loud exclamation. "We spoke of music. He has offered up several compositions and even a few operas he has been working on." Triumphantly Tamara stated the several ideas she remembered Erik speaking about.
"Well my dear informing you of his talents is commendable but not conducive to gaining his loyalty or assure us he will desist from making trouble. What if anything, did he say when you offered him employment?"
"Oh…well…I…we…he and I did not exactly come to any conclusive end to that discussion. I believe it is still open for discussion." Tamara began to question her sanity. She had let a murderer and extortionist lull her into compliance without so much as a peep of protest. Furthermore they had not discussed anything that had been of the utmost importance before she had actually been in his presence. The moment she heard his voice had been when she began to lose control. Once he had been within touching distance he had full command over her emotions. It would not do at all to surrender so completely to someone with his history of deceit, but more importantly she would not be controlled by emotions she felt unwilling to define.
Erik listened to their discussion of him with amusement. Tamara clearly felt at a disadvantage. He could not help but take notice of the fact she had not informed them of how intimate they had been while speaking not of business but more of what normal people talk about during an intimate evening. It would seem they still had much to discuss. Erik looked forward to their next meeting. He must make it soon. He did not want Tamara shoring up her defenses against him. Yes, their next encounter must be soon.
The feeling of pride that had taken hold of him as he listened to Tamara extol about his talents had been something he had rarely felt in his life when connected to someone else. No one had ever seen anything worthy in him in his entire life other than perhaps Christine for a while but then he had ruined everything expecting her to accept what he had to offer. With Tamara he would offer nothing other than the physical pleasure they might share if she accepted him in such a way. Having decided not to pursue any emotional declarations of love or any tenderly exchanged vows of eternity had freed him to be who he wanted, a man like any other.
Love would never be something Erik sought again. Knowing his face would always be an issue he would not expect complete acceptance. He would settle for what he could have, if not with Tamara, then perhaps with someone else. He knew first hand about the noblewomen left wanting by their husbands, husbands who pursued younger, more talented women in the bedroom, ones willing to let all boundaries slide.
Erik stepped back guiltily when he caught Antoinette staring at the very spot where he peeped through his spy hole. She could not see him he knew. Knowing his penchant for listening and spying he would not put it past her to have examined many likely places where he would have an advantageous place to watch and listen. He may have need to take her to task if she became too nosy and interfered in his plans.
He found himself losing interest rather quickly in anyone or anything other than Tamara. Anticipating success he reasoned drew his mind from every concern other than conquest of his prey. Never would he consider himself ready to let go of his emotional attachment to Christine so soon. His head told him he still loved her but perhaps the heart needed to move on to survive.