Somewhere along the way I lost two of my fingernails. At first I was disgusted and scared, the skin surrounding where the nails had been looked deep and bruised but I knew they weren't because the 'bruised' like flesh had only recently started, long after the initial wound had happened.
I hid the nails from Bakura and Teana and wrapped my hand up in a new clean bandage and kept it hidden like that for some time, but it soon became clear to the others I wasn't fit to pickpocket anymore due to only having one skilled hand. So Bakura picked up my slack and more often or not I was left alone in whatever shelter we had found or made, left alone to sulk and brood. My very first worries about my hand were coming to life and I didn't know how to tell my friends. I knew it was badly infected now and even when I cleaned it nothing would wash away the yellow, turning black, colour of my skin.
I was going to loose my hand one way or another. All that was left was to decide whether or not I would let the infection take its toll or if I would cut it off myself to avoid further infection in my own body or even my friends.
The idea of loosing my hand made me feel sick and forced to me to stay quiet about my concerns. Maybe if I forgot about it, it would go away on its own.
But every time I was left alone I couldn't help but peek under the bandages to find the worsening state of my hand and the gnawing worry increased as the clock ticked down and my time ran out.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
It was when Teana fell sick did I realise it was too late. She had begun to run a fever, Although she had managed to fight through it for some days it soon became too much and she decided against going out with Bakura that day and opted to stay with me. She said she would take a quick nap but she was still asleep when Bakura returned with food and she refused to eat with us saying she still felt tired and needed to sleep some more. So we left her to herself while me and Bakura caught up on the goings on of our days, which were very uneventful, and then went to sleep ourselves.
Since Bakura got rid of the ring his sleeping habits had returned to usual where he would stay awake most of the night, watching over us, and then only partake in a very light sleep in the very dead of night before waking up very early morning.
I awoke the next day to find Bakura, as expected, awake. However, he was kneeling beside Teana with a concerned look and a hand rested against her cheek.
"She's burning up," he said as he tugged the blankets off of her sweating form.
I scurried over and placed my own hand against her forehead to confirm that her fever had indeed increased, and a thin layer of sweat covered her naked flesh and seeped into her clothes.
"We'll go to the market today," I suggested, "and find some medicine."
Bakura nodded and immediately got ready to leave.
He insisted he go alone and that I stay and look after Teana and I didn't resist. I stayed by her side but was sure not to touch her, other than checking her fever I felt that it was best to refrain from contact. I didn't really known anything about illness or infection but only one look at my hand told me it wasn't good for anyone to be near, let alone an ill person.
Bakura returned after an hour or so with a drink a medicine lady said would help with the fever, but had asked to see Teana herself.
"She said there was only a limited amount she could offer without seeing Teana for herself," Bakura explained as Teana nervously sipped the drink, "but I didn't trust her. I didn't want to bring her back here,"
I nodded and patted Teana's back as she finished the drink, "how was that?"
"Disgusting," She said before flopping back onto the bed we had made using all of our blankets and a few stolen items of clothes. "I need to sleep again," she really did sound exhausted.
"Are you hungry yet?" I asked hopefully, but she just whined and turned onto her side, her back to Bakura and me.
"No mother I'm not hungry,"
Bakura chuckled, "nice to know she's as bitchy as ever,"
Teana weakly and blindly kicked out in hopes off hitting Bakura but he easily dodged the ill attempt, "Calm now Teana you don't want to extort yourself, you need your rest~"
I rolled my eyes at the normal back and forth between my companions, and found myself smiling at the two. However, as soon as I recognised the familiar content feeling I brushed it off. Nothing good ever came from feeling secure, nothing was permanent and I of all people had learned that.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
"We should pray,"
Teana had worsened, she was constantly sleeping and in the brief moments of wakefulness she was delirious and confused often asking where Amunet and Kisara were and sometimes even asking for her family. She shivered and complained about the cold but to the touch she was constantly burning up and sweating. It had come to the point where we were feeling hopeless, our shelter was not the best but we were in no position to be moving Teana and the healing woman had upped the price of Teana's medicine once she found out we would be reoccurring customers: we had become desperate.
Bakura eyed me cynically for a moment before he bowed his head and nodded. I too bowed my head and begun to recite the only prayer I knew, the prayer my mother had taught me as a child, for Kul Elna was not a religious place. We were separate from worship of the gods or Pharaoh however my mother made sure I knew this one prayer:
"O my mother Nut, spread yourself over me, so that I may be placed among the imperishable stars and may never die."
The prayer to pray, when I feared death.
oooooooooooooooooooooo
"I think I would have liked to know him…"
The rare sound of Teana's voice startled me out of my nodding sleep.
"Know who?" Bakura asked leaning over to replace the rag on her head.
"The prince… the pharaoh's son…" she continued and I caught the slight frown that passed on Bakura's face.
"Really? Why?"
"He must be so lonely… I think he would have … appreciated some friends,"
Bakura sighed and lent away from Teana, "I'm sure the almighty prince doesn't need friends,"
Teana chuckled, her eyes rolling to the side looking much less lucid again and for a moment I thought we had lost her to sleep and delusion again.
"Don't be stupid… everyone needs friends," She whined and winced as if in pain before finishing, "If I ever get the chance… I'd be his friend,"
Bakura just looked up at the ceiling of our small shelter shaking his head, "well you'd be on your own there, Teana,"
"No," I finally interjected, "I'd like to trying being his friend too."
oooooooooooooooooooooo
Teana had started coughing and every time the fits consumed her she would whine and flail complaining about pain in her joints. "My arms my arms they're not mine…"
Right now however she had fallen into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning in the sheets. Her eyes were closed tight and her small mouth was open releasing ragged breaths. I stared at her, her dusty hair and bronze complexion… she was still so beautiful. She would always be beautiful to me.
"Ryou…" I looked up, it was dark and only a small flame lit the tiny room we were cramped in, and yet when I saw Bakura's face it seemed to capture all the light. His face was soft, as if the taught string that kept his harden features in place had been cut, and his eyes were wet and watery with tears that hadn't yet fallen. I was so shocked at the vulnerable sight I couldn't find the words to reply, "She's going to die… isn't she?"
I finally broke away from Bakura's gaze, unable to face him any more. Our leader shouldn't look so broken. Instead I turned to my beautiful friend, who whimpered in her sleep, and stroked away a sweaty lock of hair, "yes, she is."
oooooooooooooooooooo
We carried Teana's body wrapped in cloth with us down to the Nile, which wasn't too far away. We were far away from Amunet's Spot but it still felt eerily similar to the day we had said goodbye to my little sister.
Bakura was cradling Teana's body in his arms, knelt beside the stream. I felt like words should be said, that someone should pray and ensure that Teana's journey into the next world would be safe, but I knew no such prayers. It was weird really how many deaths Bakura and I had dealt with and yet we had never had to deal with laying a body to rest.
We stayed on the bank for quite sometime, Bakura holding her body, and me just standing there numbly. I hadn't cried yet, and neither had Bakura, however, he had been in this eerily silent mourning from the moment Teana had passed. It was almost like something had snapped and I feared that this may have been the last straw… but I didn't know what people did when they couldn't take anymore so I didn't tend to think about it. Eventually Bakura begun to wade out into the water and I followed him closely. We walked out as far as it was safe to go and still Bakura just held the body protectively and when I noticed Bakura couldn't bring himself to part with the body I gently rubbed his arm.
"It's time to… to let go,"
Suddenly Bakura let out a sound like a sob that he was desperately trying to hold back, but he still didn't release the body.
"Bakura you have to let go," I tried to sound soothing but my voice cracked and he just stubbornly shook his head, "B-Bakura, come on," I was crying now and found myself almost exhausted with the tears. I had cried enough for one lifetime.
"Sh-she can't be gone," Bakura gasped out, his face was dry but his shoulders were shaking, "gods n-no she can't be,"
I ran my hand through my hair, turning away from my friend as he broke down. I couldn't actually stand to see him so weak.
"Well she is gone," I snapped through tears.
"It should be me Ryou it sh-should have been me. Not her. N-not them…"
"T-them?" I was suddenly confused but couldn't face him yet.
"Teana, Amunet, Kisara… it should h-have been m-me…"
"Idiot…" I sobbed and rubbed my eyes, "if you weren't here who wouldn't protected them?"
"WHO DO I HAVE LEFT TO PROTECT?!" Bakura's sudden shouting startled me into turning and facing him and as we did I saw the first tear escape down Bakura's cheek. We stood there silently, Teana's covered head resting like a doll's against Bakura's chest and the water lapping up around our waists. Eventually Bakura turned away and gently let Teana's body fall from his arms, which shook as the weight was relieved. When he turned back to me I was still staring at him.
"Me," My voice was dry and shaky, "you still have me."
oooooooooooooooooooo
I have all these feelsAnd they're kind of leaking into my writing, which is really kind of convenient. Anyways yeah more sadness. Boo.
It doesn't really get better, seriously if you want a feel good fic go elsewhere but if however you find yourself actually enjoying this fic and the emotional involvement stay with me! There's not much further to go, like only one more chapter! There will be a very small sequel after this called 'the two of us' from Bakura's point of view which will be about modern day Yami Bakura and his feelings towards Ryou assuming he has all the memories from this fic, it will be much shorter than this fic but that's something for you to look forward to! Or to avoid.