Am I the only one who hates the way we get 3 episodes of TVD and then it goes on hiatus for a month? Grrrr...
Disclaimer: TVD is not mine. If it was things would have been going a little differently...
Ever since the death of her parents she has been numb. She just wants to feel something, anything; anger, hurt, joy, pain…anything to escape from this endless ache of nothingness. It's part of what attracts her to Stefan. When she first meets him, she feels something gently fluttering deep within her. She feels something for Stefan. She loves Stefan.
But she loves Damon, too.
Damon crept up on her. One day she found herself feeling that same gentle fluttering she first felt when she saw Stefan. Except it grows in to so much more: a warmth that consumes her when she sees him, hears him, touches him… It doesn't take much to ignite the feeling within her, sending a warm glow spreading through her body. For the first time in a long time, she feels alive.
Damon taught her how to live again.
Whereas her love for Stefan was warm and gentle and safe, her love for Damon is passionate and all-consuming. She does everything she can to fight it, to keep it locked deep within a secret part of her heart, because she is afraid of what will happen if she lets it out. She is afraid of the inferno she knows will consume her if she admits that she loves him.
She's afraid of what he makes her feel.
Ever since he met Sage, he's turned it off. He didn't want to feel the pain, the hurt, the anger, the hatred…. So he turned it off, and he drank. Bourbon, whiskey, tequila, sorority girl... He wasn't particular. It made his life easy. He didn't have to feel anything he didn't want to. The only thing he let himself feel was his love for Katherine. No matter what she does, a part of him will always love Katherine.
But he loves Elena more.
He saw Elena coming; knew that he would fall long before he did. He tried desperately not to (he never wants to fall in love again), but he can't help it. She was the only person he could talk to-his only friend-and somewhere along the way he fell head over heels for her. It was hard, because loving her meant letting all the hurt and anger and guilt and pain back in, but it was worth it.
She taught him how to feel again.
His love for Katherine seems calm and gentle compared to the fire he feels for Elena. At first he tried to ignore it, to destroy it, because he truly believes that she is better off with Stefan. Besides, he has never felt love like this, and he is afraid of it. He is afraid of what will happen when the fire consumes him, as he knows it will. He's afraid to give one person so much power over him, especially after what Katherine did.
He's afraid of what she makes him feel.
Let me know what you thought of this chapter? :)