Chapter 14 : A Mother's True Pain
Her dark captivating eyes searched the darkened shadows, before her stood her elder sister's sainted mother, the first true wife of Henry the Eighth, Katherine of Aragon, Queen of England. Silently her heart pounded this woman was long dead, cruelly abandon and betrayed, left to die in the desolate isolation of Kimbolton Castle and yet here she stood radiating warmth and affection, bitterly tainted with fear.
"Mary, My Mary, does she still draw breath?" the terrified words hovered within the murky gloom "Katherine, she has but fainted, perhaps we should wait, bide our time, we need not disturb My Own Heart". Slowly awed astonishment penetrated her sudden confusion "My Own Heart", the soft, delicate words pierced her shattered soul, not since she was but a child had she heard those beloved words "Elizabeth, My Own Heart".
Those precious memories, golden fabric, dark ebony hair and eyes that hooked the soul, "Mother" the word so foreign and faint, whispered though the mind of a child with flowing red hair and boundless affection, softly the lingering scent of rose water invaded her mind and the smell spring consumed her, "Oh My Own Heart" "Can you see them" "My Darling Girl", the last exquisite memories before the bitter end "I loved you, and I love you still" "Your Majesty I beseech you" "Henry" and then the all-consuming thunder of the cannon fire, these faded recollections were all she held of the distant past.
"Mother" the miraculous realization slipped through her startled lips, not since her mother's death had she uttered the name with such affection and longing "Mother, is it truly you, or do my child like prays invade my conscious and soul".
Slowly Anne stepped from the shadows, heart pounding, not even death had she found Elizabeth, whether through fear of condemnation or pity, she had desperately avoided her beloved child, too scared to face the daunting realization of her daughter's death and the utter aching of their true separation, Elizabeth had been but a child at the time of her execution, raised under the assumption that her mother deserved her haunting end.
Desperately Anne had hidden, fearing her daughter's belief and love of her only living parent, sadly she had wanted to be truthful, but Anne could not bear the fate of pitting father against child and so she had fled, delved into her past and her desperate chance to change and face the demons of her history, always carrying the desperate hope, to one day face her most precious truth.
Softly she whispered "Elizabeth, My Own Heart, forgive me, I will not fail you again." Deep inside she screamed, desperate to run from her own growing fear, silently hoping her only light would not see her as a darkened demon that had blessed her with nothing but tainted blood.
"Mother" the word would never cease to inspire her love and devotion to the faded memories of the past, of the woman who had changed the world and conquered a King, even if only for a short while, Even her name had inspired her to dream, Anne Boleyn, a simple knights daughter, she had managed what no other could even conceive, she had controlled a Kingdom and collapsed a hierarchy of religious hypocrisy and sin and Elizabeth had been blessed enough to call her Mother.
Even to the bitter end she had loved her, inspired her and consumed her, all those that had whispered of their likeness, condemning the comparison as evil and cruel had truly complemented her heart, unbeknown to even her father, Elizabeth had searched every castle ever occupied by her beloved mother in hopes of a single painting, not burned at the behest of her father.
Yet the simple memories and faded portraits that she had amassed over the long, desperate years of her youth were nothing compared to the beauty that stood before her, now she truly understood how one woman had possessed a King and topple a Kingdom, her hair shone like ebony and her eyes drew you in, but it was her grace and presence that consumed you "is this but a dream, how can stand before me, when I know you are dead, when I know you were stolen from me at the hands of power" the desperate plea whispered through the air "are but a figment of my imagination, or have I joined you in eternal bliss".
Anne stood shocked, "Stolen from me" "eternal bliss" these were not the words of hate she had expected to hear "Do you not loath me My Own Heart, Do you not believe in my eternal guilt and punishment, Do you not believe I failed you".
Silence swiftly overcame the darkened room "Do not be rash and foolish Anne, not even I, you bitter rival would believe such treachery and stupidity of you, A Queen, weather she is a pretender or a True Lady of the Thrown is constantly monitored, how could you possible sneak FIVE insidious lovers into your royal bed, when one alone would be a betrayal of the CROWN and of your BELOVED KING, A traitors death is far worse than a wife's abandonment, even you are not naïve enough to commit treason when the penalty is not only your death but the suffering of illegitimacy for your only living child and the sacrifice of your brother and friends".
Swiftly Katherine crossed the room "Sweet child we do not have long and your mother fears your hatred of her, your father was not a man who held his tongue in this life or the next, know only this we are here to right the wrongs of your past, and to ensure that no suffering befall you or your sister, now go embrace your mother as you have longed to do so, I will attend to my beloved daughter, all you need know is that come tomorrow you will have grown with your mothers loving arms around you."
Silently she rose, following no instructions but those he had just been whispered, whether fear of the unknown or fear of time, Elizabeth did not hold back, for years she had dreamed of and remembered her mother embrace and now that the opportunity was presented she would not waist precious second, wondering about the how or why of the situation.
Slowly she crossed the room, running towards the silent figure before her, tears of delight freely falling down her joy filled face and as her mother's loving arms embraced her, she finally felt peace "Mother, I have never believed his lies, You have been my inspiration, my comfort and my hope, you know not how long I have prayed for this moment, Even death I would pursue you, you are my mother and I have prayed for and missed you."
Softly Anne wept all the long years of fear and desperation, slowly slipped away, finally she held her beloved child in her arms, her tears falling freely on her daughters fiery red hair "I must have you know My Elizabeth, you were the purest thing I ever did in my entire life, you were the reason for my very existence, and I am blessed to have been your mother, one day the world will stop and stare in amazement at the person you have become and when you achieve your greatest dream, know I was always standing beside you and that my greatest dream was born the day you took your first breath, My Own Heart, My Glorianna."
Silently the tears began to fall "I love you My Darling Girl and I beseech you never forget it, but for now I must ask for your help, I must speak with your sister, for all the good I have done, the suffering upon her shoulders has been my greatest evil and I must do all can to repair that damage."
Swiftly Elizabeth nodded, amazement blossoming within her heart, her mother had secretly predicted her future, Elizabeth would become Queen, but only within this reality, silently her mother had whispered of a changing of the fates and deep within Elizabeth knew she would rule a Kingdom whether it be England or another, she would be Queen but at least within the alternate she would have her mother, her family and maybe even her love.
Sadly Elizabeth released her mother from her tender grasp "Mary, Your Majesty, wake sister, your mother and mine have come for a visit".
The distant voices continued to call "Mary, My sweet Mary, come now child your mother is here, awaken soon before you fill her heart with fear" , The soft flow of fog began to lift and her mother's soft voice filled the air "Mary", and then her heart skipped a beat, maybe god had been merciful and sent her back to her beloved childhood, maybe there was hope still, but the sudden sound of another quickly destroyed all hope "Katherine, I believe she is waking", silently anger seethed, Anne Boleyn, the concubine, the harlot was here and Mary's blood began to boil.
Suddenly her hate filled eyes began to open, above her stood three beautiful faces, two of which she now despised, one a harlot and a traitor and another following in the same path.
Slowly she stared, her mother stood before her, tears of joy filling her dark mournful eyes, "Mary, how you have changed, so much of your father and yet I can see a great Queen in you, you have the heart of Isabella and the will of Ferdinand, but Oh my Sweet child, what has the world done to you".
The haunting look of contempt clouding her daughters eyes, scared and frightened her, Mary was an innocent sweet child, where had her baby gone, hidden in the eyes of a ruthless catholic Queen. "Mother, why do you consort with the devil" swiftly her eyes turned to the harlot "You are my death, just as I was yours".
Startled Anne began to stutter "How were you my death, you played no role in my execution" the question and statement dropping like a stone in Katherine's heart. "I may not have killed you but I prayed you would pay for your sins against my blessed mother, and the destruction of my father's soul".
Suddenly Katherine gasped "You are no child of mine, My Mary is but a sweet child, she holds not contempt in her heart and she has the will and strength to face the truth, not hide behind her childish lies".
Slowly Mary stared "Mother, how can you say this, she is the cause of all our pain, she has taken everything from us, this concubine and her offspring are a dark stain upon Christendom and every English Soul, Without their corruption you would still be here, the beloved wife of father, a beloved Queen, not poisoned and dead, only a matter of months before this witches final destruction".
"No Mary, you must learn, your father is a King, a man who wishes to bow to no other, a man who cannot be forced to do another's bidding , he can be manipulated and have others give him ideas, but IN THE END he cared for only HIMSELF and his own selfish desires, YOU AND ELIZABETH WERE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH, you were a GIRL and all he desired was a SON…..I know this hurts but you must face this truth, your father was the TRUE instigator behind your pain, Anne was always just the puppet, Your Father CHOOSE his fate, DO NOT LET HIS HATERED DISTROY YOUR SOUL"
Silently Mary stared "NO my father loved me, HE LOVED ME, it was her poison that drove you apart, and I WOULD GLADLY WATCH HER BURN."