I recently realized that I've been working on this story for almost two years now… I'm not sure if I should be proud that I stuck with it for so long, or cry at the fact that it took so long… Anyway, changed the summary because I thought it was a bit outdated. Also it's hinting at the slight change in cannon when I rewrite some of the chapters, so look forward to that!

The theme of this chapter was inspired by the opening to Puella Magi Madoka Magica. It's a fantastic show and if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it! So there are some lines I sprinkled in from the English opening that helped me get through some writers' block! Yay music.

Happy reading!

Pure Violet Is Killing Me

Chapter 14

Redemption

…

The cold stale air escaped Ivan's lungs silence fell upon the screaming ears.

"We did it! We caught the spy!"

His heart beating relentlessly in his chest, the quiet, thundering, deafening hum of silence overtaking his senses, it all came to the same conclusion…

"Who is this?!" His voice booming, laced with venom.

"Russia! Oh my dear sweet Russia… Do you not recognize my voice?" Ivan's blood boiled. Of course he did. That cruel, maniacal, cackle would never escape his hatred. The man who killed his people, the man who took his life, and now the man who took his love, "It's me Russia, your King, your savoir. It's America. I found him!"

"…"

"Come to the capital quickly! I can't kill him without you, my purest of countries."

Beep. Beep. The line went dead.

The phone fell to the floor, forgotten.

It was him.

He took Alfred.

All at once, every inch, every nerve, in Ivan's body screamed. He felt them dying again. The mothers, the brother and sisters, the fathers and friends, screaming, crying, dying…His stomach churning, his blood rushing threw his veins, his bones cracking at the joints like insignificant twigs, he fell to the floor. His knees crashed onto the hard surface of the wood dragging the rest of his body with them. He saw it, he felt it, at every beat of his heart his blood dyeing further and further into the depths of violet. It hurt.

He took his everything.

A sweltering heat swamped his senses. Everything felt so hot, cold sweat coating his skin, his vision faltering, his hands shaking in front him. He couldn't focus, the pounding defining rhythm in his head halting any attempt of thought. His mouth felt so dry, his throat clenching tight and tighter, choking him. His eyes went wide, panting, gasping, trying to get to get air into his crushed lungs that couldn't breathe. Writhing, coughing, trying to breath threw the desert of his voice.

"Not again…"

Ivan's hand rushed to his chest. His heart was giving out. That hole, that damn hole in his heart that nearly killed him, that Alfred had saved him from, was ripped open once again. The gaping break in his flesh gushed rivers of blood, dripping from his fingers, splattering onto the floor drop by drop, staining the cloth it soaked.

He was going to kill Alfred.

Dying, again, and again. Over and over he died - every day waking to the next to have another soul die in his arms. The numbness in his head, his fazed vision, his broken bones, the hole in his heart, he could barely feel half his body.

Alfred.

He had to stand. He moved his hand to grip his face, his nails clawing at his cheek as he tried to keep wine of his life from escaping his lips. Gagging on the red liquid coating his throat Ivan's bloodshot eyes snapped open, spitting out the pool of crimson flooding his mouth. His knees shaking, his head pounding, everything around him spinning, his stomach swimming, everything went into a foggy haze as he tried to stand.

I have to save Alfred…

He felt the bullet shoot through him again and again, piercing his skin and rupturing his heart. Pulling on a shaking arm, Ivan rose from his turmoil. Despite his knees bending to the pain that coursed through him, Ivan stood. He clenched his teeth as he forced his features to calm. His nails sliced his palms as he gripped his hands into tight fists. His body dying around him Ivan stood and screamed.

"No…"

"I will save you, Alfred!" His face red, his legs twitching, his body collapsing around him, Ivan forced himself to step forward. Refusing to scream from the pain he bit lip and grunted as he lifted his right foot to move onward.

Through gritted teeth Ivan hissed, "I have died so many times… Taken away by the hands of those who were meant to love me. I had to endure it alone, and without hope…" Ivan shut his eyes to the memories of those days – the days when death would have been welcome, and fear his only companion. When he had to give up his very humanity to survive. When happiness was a fading memory he had long since given up on.

But in the darkness, before his eyes Alfred appeared. "But, then you came to me, took me by my hand and the strength you gave helped me to rise and stand!"

His heart felt so alive, racing toward to the future that no one could take away from him. "You saved my life, and gave me your own… I won't let them kill me again. I won't let them kill you!" Ivan gripped the wooden door frame in front of him, using it to steady his still shaking body.

He steadied his breath, forcing away the strain his tired lungs imposed on him. In spite of the agony and the perpetual ache of loss coursing through his body, Ivan raised his head and narrowed his eyes. He would not succumb to this despair. He would not be defeated. He would rescue Alfred no matter what.

"Just you wait Alfred… You saved my life. And I'm going to save yours."

And Ivan stepped onward. Ignoring the insignificant pain that berated him to rest, it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered. Not his pain. Not his 'king'. All that mattered was getting Alfred back by his side.

He had manipulated this man for years, bending him to his will, slowly, carefully, leading him into the palm of his hand. All the years of building the web, of waiting for the delicate and ever fragile spider's thread to accumulate into an unescapable trap, had molded another side of Ivan. A side of him which only his worst enemy would see, one of a perfect assassin. Biding his time, waiting for his 'King' to make a mistake. And this was the greatest mistake of his life.

Now it was time to claim victory.

Turning his head to his left Ivan laid his eyes upon the dull grey sheen that glossed the handgun that rested, patiently waiting for Ivan retrieval, on the oak desk that sat next to the door. Ivan snapped his shoulders into place, standing tall and firm, and rested in his hands was the familiar weight of his trusted pistol. Fitting it into his pocket Ivan unbolted the latched drawer that encased the hidden supply of ammunition.

Loading up the clip and securing the rest of the ammo in his pockets, Ivan's hand caressed over the fabric of his scarf.

"I'm going to get you back… I have to." Ivan clutched his scarf, remembering all that it meant to him. The scars that littered his neck, he remembered the touch of Alfred's skin on his, healing him, ridding him of the pain that plagued him for centuries.

"A scarf!" Ivan quickly wrapped the soft plush cloth around his neck. It was warm and soft on his skin. The pain from his scars were gone. It felt just like he was cuddling up against the wolf's coat. At that moment he felt so loved.

That token of love had been with him for centuries, promising that the friendship between that wolf and he would last for all eternity. He felt the soft caress of his scarf that shielded those wounds for so long, keeping them safe until they could be healed by the one person in the world that could.

"Alfred…"Ivan only gave himself time for one last breath before he set out beyond that door. Harboring the wind on his back Ivan stepped out of home, resolute, and determined to return having put an end to this war.

He looked back at that mountain top, back at where his life was first saved, where he was first loved. Where he admitted he was so lost. Where that field of sunflowers lay, hidden behind a forest of loss. The forest Alfred freed him from.

"I can't do it. I can't save my people." Ivan's eyes widened in terror and he came to this realization. "I can't do it…"

It the depth of being lost forever in the pit of his despair Alfred was able to pull him out and show him the light he couldn't see.

"You have not failed. So far from it." He brushed away a tear, drying Ivan's face, "Even in the darkest of dark there is always a light. It might be hard to find, and sometimes it takes a while to form, but it will always be there to light your way. Hope is never truly lost, only misplaced. And sometimes it takes someone else to help you find it. You have saved so many. So please Ivan, let me save you."

The wind was cold on his back. But his scarf, even while being tossed and turned in the gusts, still warmed him, protected him. Just like then. In that dead and desolate city, where the true horrors of his heart were revealed, Alfred saved him.

"I will protect you even if it costs me my life."

Ivan raised his head. The trees lining the cobble stone road were painted white. The bright shining snow reflecting the moon's pale light onto the darkness that blanketed the bark of isolated woods was truly beautiful. The hibernating trees waiting for a spring that never seemed to come, stretched out their branches not only to meet the cruel sting of winter air, but the snow as well. The pure, beautiful snow covered the coarse and frigid skin of wood, shielded it from the harsh winds of winter and warmed it.

He had reached the hospital where only hours before did they leave Anya in the care of her fellow countrymen.

"She's very lucky… To be born in this country. She will be loved. No matter when, or where, or by whom. She will forever be loved."

Ivan had stopped, and stumbled, and doubted in the darkness. And every time he closed his eyes he thought back to him. He made a vow, a promise to carry through. He would put an end to his 'King'. He would save Alfred. And take back his country, his people, his life, and his love. The moon's light shone so brightly in his eyes. As the rays of light grazed the crown of the earth Ivan set his gaze to the road ahead him.

Resting before his eyes his capital lay. It's magnificence towering over the sky. This building held so much. It held the embodiment of his government's corruption. It was the effigy of his life. It housed the memories of his past, both the good and the bad. It held his leaders, his presidents and czars. It was his prison. And now it held the key to his life, his love, Alfred.

His heart racing in his chest, his breath ridged, Ivan narrowed his eyes.

"This will be the end."

To be continued...

…

With the resent laws implemented in both China and Russia restricting freedom of speech I have to speak out against it. In chapter 11 I urged anyone in countries where it is illegal to read this story because it is about a gay couple, to be cautious. I believe that you should always put your personal safety first.

But, after hearing these laws and actions that have been taking place in these, and many other countries, I have to say this. I am appalled at what these governments are doing. It is an absolute violation of basic human rights, and normally I wouldn't say this but… revolt.

This needs to be stopped before it gets out of hand. Freedom of speech, and freedom of anonymity is something that we need to have. In a world where now everyone can be connected instantly, the people have more power than ever before. We cannot, as people, as humans, allow ourselves to be suppressed at our most critical nature.

And that nature is freedom.

At birth we are given the gift of imagination. Free thinking. We are given language to express the wonders of our individual minds. And we are given a voice, to speak that of which we think to ourselves. And we are given ears to hear what the person next to us is saying. We are given hands to write down the words that came from our thoughts to last even longer than what our voices can reach.

Everyone has the right to say anything.

This is a right.

And it's a right we can't allow to be taken away from us.