Suggested listening for this chapter:

Scars by Papa Roach
The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars
Candle (Sick and Tired) by The White Tie Affair
Someone Like You by Safetysuit

Listen to each to whatever point you see fit, but Safetysuit should be listened to through Roxas's confession. It just fits.
Sorry for the random note. I wanted to let you know of this wonderful list of songs before you read the chapter.

Fourteen
Relapse & Recovery

"…"

"…"

That's the sound of me having a stare-down against Roxas's dad. You know, Ventus? Roxas, Aqua, and Sora are all outside in the backyard. I don't feel like going outside and Ventus is drying off from his post-workout shower at the Rec Center. His hair is still wet. I guess that's what Roxas's would look like if his was wet. They are identical.

Unlike how I would be with Roxas though, I'm not freaked out by having a staring contest with his dad. I have one eyebrow raised lazily, like I'm daring him to blink. I haven't blinked in three minutes. Neither has he. It's pretty amusing, if you ask me. I bet I look frightening, though; when I looked in a mirror this morning my eyes weren't blue. They were gray. Cold, iron gray. Dead. Steel. Empty. Void.

Ventus's eyes are the same color as Roxas's. It's no doubt where Roxas gets his looks from. He's not a girl so it couldn't be Aqua anyway. His dad—I'm not creepy for saying this, just remember that—is very attractive.

I don't want to lose this staring contest at all. I know it's weird to get obsessive over something insignificant, but I feel like this is keeping me… visible? Like if someone isn't acknowledging that I exist, in that one moment I don't have attention I'm going to fade way—disappear like a sock in the dryer, vanish like a creamsicle, evaporate like the water in a small pond during a drought in the middle of summer. That is what will happen to me if I go unnoticed. I will die.

Maybe not die, but in those few nano-moments I will find an escape hatch and jump ship out of this life and into the next one. I want to get out. More than anything I want out of this cage and I'll do anything to break the bars. I have no pride left to defend, no morals left to hold myself to. Marluxia is dead, Kairi is ignoring me and not in the slightest trying to make up for what she did, Roxas is… he's Roxas. He's been getting ready for the semifinals. The first game of those is today. I think it's an away game, too. I wasn't planning on going, even though I really want to…

I want to see the MVP play one more game before I go home no matter how much it's going to kill me inside to watch.

Tears are poking at my ducts and I'm trying not to cry. I keep telling myself I'm not in the presence of someone who would understand- who would cease from judging me for my tears. Forgetting about the staring contest, I wipe my eyes and sniff.

Ventus blinks. I think he does it on purpose. He asks me with concern in his raspy voice, "Why are you crying?"

I shake my head. "It…it's nothing. Nothing important."

"If it's making you cry it's obviously important…" he tells me, turning his body on the couch so he's fully looking at me. I'm sitting in the chair to the left of the couch that is a very comfortable recliner. My bare feet are hanging off the edge. My arms are thrown lazily over opposite rests. "If you think I'm going to tell anyone…"

I shake my head. I try to talk, but no words can seem to come out. So I just give him a pleading look and beg him to understand.

In that fatherly way I only believe fathers (I wouldn't know for sure) can do, Ventus nods. His eyes shut. I'm faced with this loneliness and desire to see the eyes that remind me so much of Roxas's. I wish that this was Roxas I am being mute toward instead of Ventus. I just want to talk to Roxas.

Is it pathetic that he's always on my mind..?

"Out of curiosity, does this have to do with my son?" Ventus asks. It's not an angry question or a nosy question. It's just… curious. I genuinely trust him when he says it's purely out of curiosity that he asks. His eyes open and he looks at me.

I think my cheeks turn pink. Nothing more than a baby pink, but they change from pale and washed-out to colored and somewhat bright the moment he asks me that. Are all dad's this good or is just a Colton-thing to be this amazing? If it's not just a Colton family trait, I wouldn't mind the idea of a father figure. I might not hate my stepfather so much. I might not want to die whenever I'm around him.

I admit my guilt as-charged to Ventus by nodding simply and averting my gaze from his eyes. Those eyes… are so much like his son's… it kills me to see them and know they don't belong to Roxas. I'm starting to forgive him for not doing anything at that party. I wouldn't have wanted to interfere either if I saw a fight like mine and Kairi's. None of us wanted him and Sora involved anyway. It just adds to the not talking about it. I don't think it bothers me anymore. I don't care that I haven't had much time to recuperate from the incident, but I don't think it matters. Do I have to hold a grudge? Does it have to irk me? He's not with Kairi. He doesn't hate me. I'm living under his roof in a room I discovered is right next to his.

To me that sounds like a respectable deal. I have more wins than losses… I guess…

I glance carefully back at Ventus, who appears to be in thought. His eyes are closed lightly, the tanned lids twitching subtly. His mouth is horizontal and this peculiar serenity is drawn into the situation because of this. He mildly says, "He's not a bad kid, you know…"

My eyes go wide. I shake my head furiously. "I-I know that!" I never even said anything, so why in the world would he make an assumption? Oh gosh I'm being mortified. Someone just shoot me.

"You have some tension between the two of you…"

I flush. "…It's that noticeable…?"

A goofy smile cracks on Ventus's face. He looks so much like his son it really does kill. "Yes. It is. I just think you should know a couple things about Roxas…"

He wants to tell me something about his son? Is it me or is that rather weird that he wants to talk to me about his kid? What if he tells me something important?

"He's not…" Ventus scratches his head in a clueless manner. He looks so youthful. "I know he acts a like a prick, but he's…" He sighs, looking for the right words. "He hasn't had luck with girls. He can never pick the right one and because of it he's kind of become a… Well, you see, he's…" He grumbles and rubs his eyes. "Look, basic gist is that he keeps going out with girls both Aqua and I obviously don't approve of and we both know he doesn't really like them."

I raise an eyebrow. What is he talking about? What is this supposed to mean?

"You have my full permission to go into his room."

I blush. "Uh…"

Ventus's eyes go wide. He flushes like he's going to be sick. "No, not like that! I mean, in his nightstand he has binder. It's like a scrapbook with pictures from every year since we've moved to Brook Park. He and his friend Axel work on it with some help from the other guys on the team. I give you full permission to go into his room and look through it."

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Did I really just get authorization to go into Roxas's room and examine his belongings? Isn't that a little wrong? My face is hot and I know I'm blushing. This is insanely out of character for me, but I feel… happy? Guilty or…Nosy?

Yeah, I'm feeling very meddlesome.

"Mr. Colton, I…"

Ventus holds up his hand. It silences me. He says, "Don't worry about it. It's just like a giant timeline."

"And you want me to see this… because?" I ask unsurely. I really would like to know the point of all this.

"Just trust me on this one. You might learn something new." Ventus just gives me this smile of assurance that I can't not trust.

I think I start crying because I'm so thankful and so happy and so… relieved that someone is concerned enough for me to bother talking about this stuff. "Thank you, Mr. Colton," I whisper, wiping my eyes.

"Please, call me Ventus or Ven. 'Mr. Colton' makes me feel old."

I laugh quietly to myself. Now where have I heard something like that before..?

"Just call me Aqua," she insisted. "I don't like feeling so old when people call me 'Ms. Colton.' My name is Aqua anyway…"

I see why the two of them are good together. I see why they are married and I see why they have a son together; they're flawless as a couple. And I can't help wondering that, if something like that became of me and Roxas, would it be that… beautiful?

-(NC)-

I waited until everyone was out of the house other than me to go into Roxas's room. I feel so dirty going in here, but at the same time I don't mind because I'm just looking to find one thing then get out.

I throw open his door and walk in confidently. No backing down now, I guess. I manage to get a good look at his room. The carpet is navy blue and the walls are off-white. The organization is immaculate and everything is spotless. There are no clothes on the floor. There are numerous basketball trophies, medals, and even a couple soccer medals. He has a few posters: one is Chuck Norris fact list, one Devil Wears Prada, and one of LeBron James (before his move against the Cavs). His bed is the only thing messy and that's because it's undone. It has red plaid sheets.

I spot the wooden nightstand and sharply pull open the top drawer, rifle through it, then do the same to the middle and bottom drawer. The bottom one is the only one with something that resembles a binder in it. It has a light blue cover and in black marker is drawn an edgy heart with wings and two keys going through it. They're pretty cool looking, I think.

I stare at Roxas's door. What if someone just comes in and finds me here? I should really close the door…

I do so, sit down on his unmade bed, and open to the first page.

It starts with three blocky letters: BPK. There's a picture of his team below the letters and his parents above it. With that, I begin flipping through the years, starting with 2002—our second-grade year; his first year here.

I learn that he used to like art and didn't like sports. He was still best friends with Axel. Kairi wasn't in that class with us, so she wasn't in the class photo. He was so short and cute back then. He was so adorable and huggable. It's too bad I didn't like him in the beginning of that year, because at the end of the grade two section was a picture I remember so vividly. It was of me looking irritated, Anastasia my old best friend, Roxas with his arm thrown around my neck, and Axel leaning on Asia's shoulder. Roxas was winking, Asia was blushing. Axel was grinning. I was half-smirking.

I smile at the fondness of the memory and go onto third grade. I remember Kairi being in my class that year, so she was in it with Roxas and Axel as well. Most of these pictures were of his first soccer team, him and his parents, him at Six Flags, or him with Axel. There weren't any of me in there, thankfully.

Fourth grade meant Kairi was still in our class. I was annoyed at that point because she liked him so much. There are pictures of Roxas with Axel, some other guys I don't remember, his first basketball team, and a couple of him looking very cute.

Fifth grade comes along. Oh gosh, that was the year Roxas first found out I liked him. It took him that long to figure it out and that fact always amused me. I recollect the day he approached me and simply said, "I know you like me." I almost exploded, but I didn't admit or deny it. This was also the year his popularity skyrocketed, Kairi joined that kind of crew, and I started to slink into the tomboy class with the other jock girls. I had joined my first soccer team this year. It used to be my favorite sport.

All through fifth grade are pictures of his memories and whatnot that I find interesting. There are a couple with girls he seemed to have liked. His arms around them, him kissing them… I was insanely jealous. I think I'm more jealous now than I was back then. But right in the middle of the pictures of all these girls is a page with purple paper and smack dab in the center of it is a picture from the fieldtrip to Amish Country. It's… It's a picture of me and Kairi taken when we weren't looking.

Why would he haves something like this…?

I flip through sixth grade as fast as possible because I know that most of the pictures are from the grade trip when we went to Camp Mi-Bro-Be, which a giant camp is held for one week where you live there. It's weird for suburban kids to go somewhere like that because it's right in the middle of the woods. There are so many pictures of this trip I almost get sick.

And I almost get even sicker when I recognize a picture of Roxas dancing with me during one of the nighttime dances. Every night at Mi-Bro-Be there was a dance with fun music and they taught us to square dance and things like that, but there were also slow dances and more romantic songs. We were dancing together to one of those songs.

Ha… He was so collected when he asked me to dance. I got tons of death-glares from other girls, but I was in my heaven. I'm guessing Axel took this picture because I have my arms around Roxas's neck and Roxas has his arms around my waist. Under the picture is a quote from the song we danced to.

"I just want you to know who I am…"

Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls was the song and it was the most striking three minutes of my life. I had never been happier.

After that are a couple photos of Roxas and Axel beating each other up.

I hear a door click and voices from downstairs. My eyes snap to the door. "Oh crap…" I mutter. I begin to flip through his seventh and eighth and ninth grade as fast as possible. I notice throughout those years that with all the girls he's in pictures with, he looks more and more empty. He looks sadder and sadder. He starts to look lost, no matter how many pictures are of him and his team he still in the end looks upset.

And then I finally hit this summer.

Never have I seen more pictures of myself before—not on Facebook, not in my house, not at my grandma's house, nowhere. There's a picture of me shooting hoops at the Rec with Axel and one of me shooting a half-court shot, a mass of really artsy shots that make me look gorgeous from the Homedays, a few from the karaoke bar and a couple from his basketball game that same day. There are also four, I think, of me at the party dancing on the table with Xigbar.

My face is bright red. Is he stalking me? Holy hell! Holy fucking hell!

And at the end of this summer thus far is one more shot from the Homedays of me on the Ferris Wheel when I was looking away. The shot showcases me tucking my hair behind my ear and his hand on mind. Across the page is a quote that I presume is from a song.

"She's finding me out. It's bringing me down cuz nothing's as hard as the first time. I'm losing myself. She'll never be mine. It's too late now."

The most important thing I notice about this entire binder with my involvement is that Kairi only shows up in pictures with me in them.

It's at that moment that I realize something important.

They say when you dream of someone they went to sleep thinking of you that night. When I had my dream about Roxas, he was thinking of me. So maybe there's a chance that he likes me…?

Maybe… I have a chance?

The door opens and standing there is a shocked Roxas with a deep red blush on his cheeks. He doesn't look at all angry at me, more like he's trying too hard to look mad because he's really not.

"What're you doing in my room and why do you…" He stops when he notices what, exactly, is in my hands.

I flush. "I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Roxas. I didn't mean to… I mean… I didn't… Oh god this is… I'm sorry…" I slam the binder shut and hit my head against it repeatedly. Shit this is so embarrassing!

I hear the footsteps getting closer to me. His hand curls over the top of the binder and gently pulls it away from my face. He kneels down to my eye-level. I hang my head and avoid looking at him. I try to keep using my bangs as a blanket over my eyes. Roxas then proceeds to make me blush more by cupping the side of my face with one of his large, surprisingly smooth hands. He lifts my face and scans my face.

"Did you see?" he asks.

"Did I see what?" I utter out quickly and near inaudibly.

"You saw the pictures from this summer, didn't you?"

I admit to my shame by nodding and pushing his hand away so I can hide my face. "I'm sorry, Roxas. I came in here looking for my hat and I got nosy and went through your stuff to find it but I found this and it just sort-of happened…"

Roxas sighs and runs a hand through his sandy blond hair. "So what's the problem?"

My gaze shoots up to meet his. "W-what?"

"What's the problem? You saw. Do you get it?" he asks like he's talking to a child. A light blush begins to tint my cheeks. I press my legs together tightly and clasp my hands shut. I don't respond to his question, so he repeats it. I shake my head nervously. Then the weirdest thing, he smiles.

He smiles at me. Not just with those pearly whites, but with the ocean blue, sparkling eyes. "I was going to wait for a better time, but now's a good a time as any." He inhales and in one breath he says three simple words. "I like you."

And then two extra words when he says, "I like you a lot."

And then I stop counting because he begins on this… this confession that sounds like nothing short of poetry. "I've always liked you. Even when you didn't like me I liked you. I always thought you were so unique and awesome. At first I just wanted nothing more than to be friends with you. Then when I found out you liked me I started thinking about it. Like, what if? When you moved away to New Hampshire, I… I totally fucking lost my mind. I went insane. I was so upset after you left and I thought I'd never see you again."

Did I mention I'm crying by this point?

"Then over the past couple summers I caught glimpses of you and then that day at the Rec last week when you were there…" He whistles lowly. "I was so shocked to see you. I didn't know what to do. I became an idiot for you. And I… I am so sorry I made out with Kairi. I don't like her like that. I don't like her at all. I just remember Axel telling me that he liked you and I was so upset and I had to let him have you. I didn't want to, but I did because I'm a wimp and a loser and a dumbass. And all this time I just wanted…" He pauses and takes a breath. "I really want you, Nams. More than I've wanted any hotter or more popular girl."

I find myself giggling and tease him by saying, "Gee thanks…"

He blushes and smiles sheepishly. "Sorry. I said that as if there is a hotter girl out there. But I don't think hot works for you. You're charming and adorable." He strokes the side of my face. "You're funny and have the best personality in the world." He grimaces and rubs the back of his head awkwardly. "What I'm trying to say is that… I don't think I like you. I think there's a chance I might love you. I wouldn't know. I've never been in love. But if I was, I think this is what'd feel like."

"I…feel the exact same way," I tell him nervously, feeling this amazing swelling in my chest that's making me happy and giddy and smiley. "I think there's a chance I might love you too."

This stupid, goofy, Sora-like smile (that proves that they're related somehow) makes its way onto his face. Then he starts acting like an idiot. "I-I'm still sorry for what I did. I treated you like shit and I lead you on and—"

I interrupt him with the first thing that comes to mind. "Just shut up and kiss me already!" I demand.

And he settles his hands on my hips, leans in a hundred percent of the way, and kisses me with an amazing ferocity. It's like I just learned how to kiss in the past few days because I end up moving my mouth against his and it feels perfect.

It's more medication than I will ever need for depression.

Just like that, I'm me again. All it took was getting my swish.

Just. Like. That.

A/N: :3 Finally. I was so sick of not having them together. I want them to be together for the rest of her trip because it'll make the ending and epilogue I have planned out way cuter. But... ANYWAYS. This chapter really flowed when I wrote it. Out of curiosity, was it fluffy enough? Was it cute enough? Was it good enough? Important questions! :O

This is the longest chapter I've cranked out for this story thus far. I'm not sure if any will be longer but I'm proud of the ever-growing word count. Your reviews are the light in my dark, guys. Seriously, thank you. This story is coming up to the end soon and I'm going to hate finishing it because it's probably been my best story and having you all follow it so faithfully just... It brings tears to my dry eyes. (Now that I think about it I don't think I've cried since my trip to Ohio o.O) And just because I'm constantly updating doesn't mean you shouldn't reviiiiiieeew because I still thrive off of feedback. Also, I most likely will not update tomorrow. So savor this chapter. :P

There it is.

Scotty