"Spying is Trying"

This is novelty song sung by Elsa Lanchester…circa 1943. It is on a cassette compilation (more at end). Apparently, the woman in the song thought she was recruited for important missions, including getting close to world leaders, but unfortunately, as she laments…she ends up doing the washing at a naval station.

Hogan didn't set out to be a spy. Sure, he took the required training in intelligence given to all air crews, and being a colonel, Hogan was also given extra training in handling interrogations; helpful practice for when he was the guest of the Luftwaffe at the Dulag Luft for several weeks. But, as he informed the men under his new command, a multinational group of enlisted airmen at Luft Stalag 13, he was just a pilot and a career officer, and "let's figure out a way to get out of here."

Then things got more complicated.

Hogan was informed that the Kommandant was a gullible man, who seemed only interested in staying out of harm's way. The guards were easy to bribe, the dogs were friendly to the prisoners, as was the dogs' handler, and the tunnels dug by the original prisoners were expanding at a rapid rate.

Thus, the travelers' aide society was born; a sabotage and espionage operation soon followed. The men were forced to improvise, but Hogan was an expert at winging it, and thinking on the fly. Somehow, his convoluted plans worked, and the operation grew and evolved. What started out as a fly-by-night operation grew into one of the larger and most successful underground units in the area.

It was terrifying. Hogan and most of his men were less afraid during their combat and bombing missions. But being airmen, they usually kept their thoughts and fears to themselves.

But they all had their moments.

Hogan threw open the door to the barracks, letting it slam behind him, and stomped into the common room.

This raised the eyebrows of the men hanging about; doing whatever it was they did at night to keep busy.

"You know," Hogan said to no one in particular. "I've been in more dangerous situations than I can count. But at least when flying, I had some control over the situation. Now London calls most of the shots, and on top of that, I have to constantly deal with that narcissistic, egotistical, arrogant, supercilious, pompous, windbag."

Hogan looked up. Satisfied that everyone was listening (with their mouths hanging open in shock), he continued with his rant. "If I have to play one more game of chess that I pretend to lose, pay one more inane compliment, or sit at another boring dinner so he can show off his prized prisoner…I'll, I'll…I'd rather be outside the wire where I could be caught. No, I'd rather be outside the wire on an espionage mission with that White Russian woman!"

You could hear a pin drop.

Kinch walked over to Hogan, and placed his arm on the colonel's shoulder. (This was not the time for protocol.) "Sir, I think you need a vacation."

The song, "Spying is Trying" can be heard on the website, wwwdot6thcorpsmusicdotus. The creator of this absolutely wonderful website did not know who wrote or recorded the song, but I managed to track down the cassette by checking the Library of Congress. (locdotgov). We are still trying to find the lyricist/composer, and I'm waiting for the LOC to reply to my research request. The cassette title is "Novelty Songs of WW2. The publisher is K-1002 Kilroy Cassettes 1987. It is available in various places on the web. Please visit the website. There are quite a lot of songs on there!