Later on Saturday

The whole way home from Mercedes', I worried about what my Dad would say when I got home. I'd never disobeyed him before.

Well, okay, there was the time Mercedes and Rachel and Artie and I went to the movies and stayed out really late. I forgot to call Dad until after the movie and we were in Times Square and didn't have enough money left among us for a cab.

But that was just that one time! And I totally learned a lesson from it, without my Dad having to ground me or anything. Not that he'd ever ground me. Who would go to the ATM to get money for takeout if I were grounded?

Still, when Dad gets mad, he gets really mad. Kind of scary, really. I mean, I know my mom died giving birth to me and I'm all he has and stuff, but I can totally keep myself safe.

I tried to hang out at the Karofsky's as long as possible. I loaded the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher, I walked Pavlov since Dave was at an astrophysics lecture at Columbia. I even unclogged the jets in the Drs. Karofsky's Jacuzzi.

I am generally a very good son. I don't smoke or do drugs. I don't fool around with boys, although that's not really my choice. I am completely trustworthy, and I do my homework most of the time. Except for one lousy F in math, I'm doing pretty well.

And then they had to spring the prince thing on me.

I decided on my way home that I was totally going to call Judge Judy. Clarisse would be sorry if she landed in front of Judge Judy because of this, let me tell you. People trying to make other people be princes when they don't want to? Judge Judy wouldn't stand for any of it.

Of course, when I got home, it turned out I didn't have to call Judge Judy after all.

Dad looked up from the car magazine he was reading and said, "We need to talk."

I immediately started in about how it wasn't like I hadn't told him where I was, and how I just needed a little time to think about things, and how I'd been really careful and gotten home safe in Clarisse's limo.

And Dad just said, "I know."

Huh?

He got up and bear-hugged me, and was all like, "I understand the stress this has brought you, Kurt, and I want you to know I'll do everything I can to make this easier for you. Clarisse is willing to compromise. She says you can stay at school as long as you promise to spend the holidays with her in Genovia."

I pulled away and looked at Dad. "But I don't even know her! Why do I have to go there for the holidays?"

Dad sighed. "Because, Kurt" he said, looking sick again. "You're heir to the throne of Genovia."

Ugh, don't remind me.

Saturday Night

Dad took off on another date with Miss Hudson. Luckily, he went to pick her up- it would be totally awkward if she came over here and asked why I'd skipped her help session yesterday.

After he was gone, I ordered myself veal Parmesan for dinner and sat down to watch Pop Up Videos.

Here I am again, home on a Saturday night. Not that I'm ever NOT home on a Saturday night, except when I'm with Mercedes. Why am I so unpopular? I mean, I know I look weird and stuff, but I really try to be nice to people, you know? You'd think people would value me as a human being and invite me to their parties just because they like my company. It's not MY fault that I'm so short or that my voice is so high.

I tried to call Mercedes a zillion times, but her phone was busy, which meant Dave was probably online.

I really wanted to talk to Mercedes. I mean, I haven't told her anything about the prince thing, and I'm not going to, ever, but sometimes even without telling her what's bothering me, talking to Mercedes makes me feel better. Maybe it's just knowing that somebody else my age is also stuck at home on a Saturday night. I mean, most of the freshmans go on dates already. Even Rachel has started dating.

Nobody has ever asked me out.

I was pretty bored, and there was nothing really good on TV. I decided to try instant messaging Dave, telling him I really needed to talk to Mercedes, and could he please go offline so I could call her.

Usethe4s: What do you want, Hummel?

KHummel89: I want to talk to Mercedes.

Usethe4s: Talk about what?

KHummel89: None of your business. Just go offline, please. You can't hog all the lines of communication to yourself. It isn't fair.

Usethe4s: No one ever said life was fair, Hummel. What are you doing home, anyway? What's the matter, Puck didn't call? LOL

KHummel89: Very funny. Would you please log off?

Usethe4s: Wait, Kurt. Can I talk to you about something?

KHummel89: What?

Usethe4s: You can't tell anyone though. Not even Mercedes.

KHummel89: I don't tell her everything, you know.

Usethe4s: Right.

KHummel89: I won't! What's wrong?

Usethe4s: I'm gay, Kurt.

(What?!)

KHummel89: Oh. I won't tell anyone.

Usethe4s: Good. You're the first person I've told. I know I'll have to tell my family sometime, but I don't want them to know yet.

KHummel89: I've only told Mercedes. Everyone just just guessed.

Usethe4s: I just thought you'd understand. I think people suspect me, because I've never dated.

KHummel89: You don't have to tell people until you're ready. It's not like I go around dressed in rainbows or anything.

Usethe4s: Ha. Thanks, Hummel.

KHummel89: No problem, Karofsky.

About five minutes after I logged off, the phone rang. It was Mercedes. I wouldn't have told anyone about Dave, but it was nice of him to log off so I could talk to my best friend.