Disclaimer :I do not own SM does....But I will own Little Ashes before the weekend is over.

A/N:

I have no flipping clue what has been going on with FF, but I promise I have been trying since Friday to upload the next two chapters. Yep you heard me correctly, two chapters.

Okay I was going to wait until the end to write this but I didn't want anyone trying to offer me up as a sacrifice. The chapter was soooo long, im talking like 20 pages cause I kept adding and changing things so I split it in 2 chapters. Originally both POV'S were in this chapter but I changed it and now each chapter is a separate POV just like all the other ones. So the teaser I sent out is in the next chapter. But before you get mad I am posting that chapter in just a few minutes.

K..still love me? Good well leave me a review then!

Big thanks to my beta Shortbritches85......who just posted a story 'The Facebook Killer' you should definitely go read it cause this girl rocks.

If you get done and need something else to read go read 'The sound of silence' by Jay's world. Amazing story. She promised another update for some reviews so go read and review cause I am personally dying to know what is gonna happen next!

Chapter 14

BPOV

Friday night after Alice had left and the dishes were put away I went upstairs to take a long, hot shower. I let all of my stress and worries melt away. My first week had not been as horrible as I had expected. I felt I had come a long way from the girl I was just a few short months ago.

When I was done with my shower I made my way to my room and picked out my soft pale green sweats and put them on. Sure there were a few holes and the material was old and faded but they were my comfort clothes and it made me feel like I was home.

I put my hair in a messy bun on top of my head and got the Jane Austin book I had checked out from the library at school. Dear Lord if Alice could see me now she would certainly disown me I thought as I pulled back my covers and climbed into bed.

Just as I was getting settled and opening my book to start reading there was a light tap on my door. I quickly stuffed the book behind my pillows. Charlie certainly would not approve of my secular reading material.

"It's open" I called out, sure it was Charlie coming to make sure I was where I was supposed to be.

Jasper stuck his head in through the door "Want some company?"

"Yes, of course Jasper, I would love some company. I feel like we haven't talked all week." I said while patting the space beside me on the bed.

Jasper made his way over, stole a few of my pillows and made himself comfortable on my bed.

"So cousin, what do you think of the sleepy little town of Forks?" He asked in his deep southern drawl.

"Well, it is definitely not what I expected."

"That makes two of us." He chuckled.

I thought for a minute "I mean I do kind of like it here. The people as strange as they are, seem to be good hearted for the most part. Well with the exception of Jessica and her followers."

"I agree most of the people do seem to be pretty accepting. And the girls here are so hot."

"Whatever, Jasper. You are not fooling anyone you only have eyes for one girl, and I agree with you she is pretty hot. And also very special. Don't take too much time getting comfortable or you might miss out on a good thing."

"I know, it's just this whole thing scares the hell out of me. She is amazing Bella. We have this wonderful chemistry that I can't even describe. I feel this pull to her, I want to be around her all of the time and when I'm not, then I'm constantly thinking about her. I feel like she is the one. And I am just so afraid I am going to screw it all up if I take a chance. "

"Jasper you are being way too hard on yourself and thinking way to deep about this. You are a great person and any girl is lucky to have you, quit being scared of the future and live for today."

Jasper looked at me shocked for a moment "How did you become so smart?"

I nudged him with my shoulder "I had a great teacher."

"I am pretty great huh?"

"Okay now you are starting to sound as full of yourself as Edward." I joked.

"So wise cousin of mine, what is the deal with you and Cullen anyway?"

I feigned innocence "We have no deal, per say. We are friends. Well we are trying to be."

"But you do like him." Jasper clarified.

I thought about my answer carefully. I had never held anything back from Jasper and I didn't want to start now, I just was not sure what my feelings were for Edward.

"Honestly, I don't know. I try not to think about it because I think I could fall for him and I think I would end up getting hurt. We seem to be from totally different worlds, and have very different opinions on morals and values, But there is just something about that boy. I feel happy when I am in his presence. When we touch I get butterflies in my stomach. When he talks to me I feel like I am on cloud nine. I feel like I can be myself around him and he doesn't judge me. Believe it or not he can actually be quite nice and endearing when he wants to be." I couldn't help the big smile I had as I talked about Edward.

"Well it sounds to me like you answered your own question. Maybe you need to stop worrying about the future and enjoy today."

I couldn't help but laugh at Jasper giving me my own advice back.

"My, my Jasper how ever did you get to be so clever?" I tried to say in my best southern voice.

He gave me a wink. "I had a great teacher."

"Touché!'"

"Listen Bella, what you said makes perfect sense. What if we do fall madly deeply in love. Even if we do get our hearts broken isn't that all part of life? Shouldn't we enjoy the time while we have it?"

"Yeah, you are completely right Jasper. It's just hard to break down those walls and fall. At least you know Alice cares for you. Me I pick Mr. Unavailable, who just wants to be friends."

"Have faith little cousin." He leaned over and kissed my head. "And know that I will always be here for you no matter what happens."

"Thanks Jasper, I love you."

"Love you to Bells. You better get some sleep seeing as how we have a long day of painting ahead of us tomorrow. In case I haven't said it thank you for having Alice over this week. I know you were doing it for me, and as soon as I can reciprocate I will even though Cullen is by far not my favorite person." He said while walking to my door.

"Jasper give him a chance. He's not all bad, just a little rough around the edges. And I didn't have Alice over just for you, I like her a lot too."

Jasper gave me a nod and headed out of my room shutting the door behind him.

Suddenly I felt panic set in. I think I just admitted I have a thing for Edward. I don't see how this could turn out good for me. Unlike Alice, Edward has not shown any signs that he has those feelings for me. Well he did kiss me, but I had to ask for it. Still he could have said no, so maybe there was something there. I would just have to play it cool with him, try not to scare him off. He definitely didn't seem like the one woman type and I was not open to him being a multiple woman man.

I was startled out of my daydream by a tapping at my window. I was scared stiff and was trying to decided whether I should hide under my bed, or scream at the top of my lungs. Before I could decided there was another tap and a muffled voice saying "Bella it's me open the god damn window, it's fucking cold out here."

I only knew one person that would use that kind of language. I slowly made my way over to the window, an opened it.

Edward swung one leg over the window seal then the other and hopped through. I stood there stunned. Speechless.

"There I go, taking your breath away again" He joked

I snapped. Had this boy lost his mind? Did he have a death wish? "Are you freaking crazy? Charlie will kill us both." I said in a very hushed voice.

"Which is why I came in through the window and not the front door." He said like it made perfect sense.

"What? How did you....why..." I couldn't even form coherent sentences.

"Relax Swan, I'm not staying long, I just had something for you. Alice told me Jasper had climbed in here before and I figure if he could do it the surely I could to." He mumbled while walking around my room looking at all my stuff.

Finally after he had apparently taken enough inventory he settled down on my bed. I was still standing by the window in a daze.

"Come on I don't bite, unless you want me to." He said patting the space next to him.

Although we had established the friends rule he still made sexual comments to me, in a way I guess I kind of liked it. I mean I knew he was just kidding and I would feel left out if I was the only one he didn't flirt with.

I rolled my eyes and went straight to my door to lock it. There was no way I was taking any chances of Charlie finding him in here.

I strolled over and stood in front of him. "To what do I owe this honor? I thought for sure it was an unwritten rule that the popular rich boy should be out at a party on Friday night, what will people think."

He laughed softly "I am actually on my way to a party so don't worry, my reputation is not in jeopardy tonight. " He tugged on the hem of my sweatshirt "I was not aware virginal preacher's daughters dressed so seductively for bed."

That is when it registered what I was wearing. I felt my cheeks heat with blush. Here is Edward Cullen in my room, on my bed, and I am wearing ratty old sweats. Could this get any more embarrassing?

"Come here I was just teasing, you look beautiful Bella, quite being such a girl."

"What! I am a girl."

"Yeah but it's just me it doesn't matter what you are wearing" He said with a shrug.

And there was my answer. He definitely only had friend feelings for me.

I decided to just go with it, being friends with Edward was better than being nothing.

I climbed onto my small bed and sat cross legged facing him. He in turn propped himself against my head board and sprawled out on my bed.

"Jeez Cullen, just make yourself at home on my bed, why don't ya." I joked while shoving his leg.

"You better be nice to me or I won't give you the present I brought for you." He said smugly.

"You got me a present? Why on earth would you do that?"

"I am offended, how about 'Thank you Edward, I will love anything you give me."

I rolled my eyes. I seem to do that a lot with him "Cut the crap Cullen, what is it?"

"Impatient are we?" He teased while pulling a small package out of his coat pocket.

I carefully unwrapped the package and was excited to receive a gift from him, even if I had no clue what it was.

I tried very hard to fake my enthusiasm "Thank you very much, I love it"

He watched me carefully for a few minutes before he spoke. "You have no idea what it is, do you?"

I let out a sigh "No, I really don't. But I do love it, and it is the thought that counts."

He started laughing and I immediately jumped up beside him and put my hand over his mouth "You have to be quiet."

He quieted down and I gave him a stern look before I removed my hand.

"Sorry, it's just that you are too damn cute for your own good. This" he said taking the small contraption out of my hands "Is an Ipod."

I shook my head still not sure what it did.

"A music player." He clarified "You download your favorite songs from the Internet on here and you can listen to them any time you want."

"I mean I know you don't have the Internet, but I thought you could just tell me some of your favorites and I could do it for you. I put some of my favorites on here and Alice put some girlie shit on here as well."

"Wow, Edward that is incredibly.....thoughtful" I said as I embraced him in a tight hug.

He hugged me back and whispered "I just thought of how much it must suck to not be able to listen to music, I hope you like it."

I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I love it Edward, I really do. No one has ever been this thoughtful before."

"Hey, don't cry sweet girl. You deserve it. I mean it's just a hyped up fucking Walkman, no big deal."

I sniffled a little. "Okay show me how to work it."

We spent the next few hours with him showing me how to work it and us sharing the ear bud listening to all the music he had put on there for me.

When I looked at my alarm clock I noticed it was already one am. I pulled my ear bud out and nudged him. "Edward, you are going to be very late to the party."

He shrugged his shoulders. "This is more fun."

I gave him a warm smile and tried to not let his words go to my head. He could just enjoy our time in a friend way.

"Still, I have to get up early for devotion and then my big room makeover"

"Oh I see how it is, just kick me out of your room after I bring you gifts, typical girl move."

I couldn't help but laugh at his fake hurt expression.

He got out of my bed and I started to follow him, but he stopped me. "Stay here, you are already comfortable, I can let myself out."

I watched him walk to the window and he stalled for a few seconds before he turned around.

"Bella, can I...kiss you..again?"

I was momentarily stunned. That was not a friend thing to say.

"Umm...yeah?" It came out as more of a question than a answer.

He slowly walked over to the bed. He placed his hands on either side of my face on the pillows and leaned over me. He looked into my eyes for a moment before he leaned down and kissed my lips very chastely. He pulled back and ran his nose down my jaw line then his lips met mine again. This time our lips melted together and moved in sync. I tried to mimic his actions because I had no flipping clue what I was doing.

His tongue lightly traced my bottom lip. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my throat. He took advantage of my shock and slightly opened mouth and slipped his tongue inside. I cannot explain the amount of joy and arousal I had at the feeling of having Edwards tongue explore my mouth.

Instinct took over and I sucked his bottom lip in my mouth, which he seemed to enjoy very much from the sound he made. I wound my fingers in his hair and pulled him impossibly closer as I slipped my tongue in his mouth. He tasted divine. He let me take my time exploring him as he had done to me.

All too soon he pulled back then kissed my lips softly again, then my forehead.

I finally opened my eyes and he was still leaning over me, his cool breath blowing across my face.

"Breathe Bella" He said way to cockily.

I let out a loud breath "Wow!"

"That is what your first kiss should have been like." He winked and then he was gone.