Willow's POV

I knew this time would come. Angel has slowly started to help us again. Even Xander seems to finally be getting over the terror we went through went he was in his demon form.

The worst was Giles, actually. After the torture session he was holding a grudge but finally, he had to admit Angel was needed and if Angel and Angelus were really the same, we'd still be running and hiding from him.

And in a way, a completely selfish way, I was a little dismayed that Angel was back. I mean, sure, I was glad he wasn't in Hell and that he had his soul again, but being around him was wierd.

He'd kissed me, in front of Buffy. Talked to me like we had intimate knowlegdge of each other in front of Jenny. And I had caught both women staring at me. Jenny with this dissappointed and slightly angry look and Buffy's one full of jealousy.

Giles and Xander were clueless and I was glad. Oz and I were dating but it just wasn't the same. I didn't feel safe on the Hellmouth anymore. Not when I couldn't tell my friends what exactly had been going on. Not when Buffy and Jenny were distant and Xander and Cordelia were sucking face constantly. Not when Giles was wrapped up in his newfound love and Angel would give me these long looks. Sometimes I'm sure I saw confusion in his eyes, probably wondering why the hell his demon had been jonesing for me, and then sometimes he looked angry.

Was it because I had kissed Angelus back? Did he think less of me because I hadn't been physically ill by the thought of his demon?

Whatever the reason, the point remained. I knew this time would come. And I've been completely dreading it. Because for the first time since our last training session... before the five months of Angelus running loose, three months in hell, three in hiding, and then two more as a recluse that Buffy was slowly coaxing back out...Angel and I were completely alone.

Xander was on a date with Cordy, Buffy was on patrol, Giles and Jenny had went out for coffee, and I was meant to be just running through the morgue files one last time before heading home.

Angel had came in, unnoticed by me until he'd touched my shoulder. After sitting in almost complete silence for the last twenty minutes, I think I had the right to completely freak out.

A startled shriek left my mouth at the same time I jumped and spun around, a fist coming out on it's own. "Hey!" Angel took the first punch to the jaw and then caught the second only inches from his face. "It's me." Leveling me with an incredulous look, he dropped my hand and backed away.

I was just too relieved that I wasn't dead so I didn't even think of what I normally would have. Profusely apologizing for my overreaction.

I dropped my hands to my side, staring at him in slight irritation as I willed my heart to it's normal place. "Xander was right about those bells." I grumbled, taking my seat at the computer again.

He snorted a little, pulling up a chair from the table behind him and sitting a few feet from me. I glanced up at his solemn face and narrowed my eyes. What now?

"Willow-"

I put a hand up to cut him off. "Just by the tone of your voice, I can tell I'm not going to like what you have to say."

He looked confused and a little hurt. "I just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry for what I did. To you. And your fish and-"

"You didn't do those things." I answered automatically, back to my typing. It may have seemed like an insult but I was trying to show him that I wasn't bothered by what he'd done. There was no need for him to apologize.

"You don't understand." he said, his voice suddenly aggravated and gruff even though he was still speaking low. "Angelus and I aren't different people, we-"

"I do understand Angel. And I think I might understand better than you."

"Excuse me?" I didn't respond. Didn't bother repeating myself because we both knew he'd heard me. "You think because he kissed you that you're an expert now?"

I grinned a little, despite the hurt. "You just said it. He kissed me. Not I."

"I'm not there when he is, but-"

"He's there when you are." I finished. "Yeah, I know. He gave me this speech."

Angel was becoming more and more disgruntled. "Yeah, I remember."

I shrugged. "The way I see it...there is Angelus. A bastard demon in your body that has a sadistic, twisted mind."

He looked pained, but nodded.

"And the soul." I continued.

"The soul isn't all of me."

"Can I finish talking?" I snapped. He didn't respond. "The soul is Liam. The selfish, womanizing slacker."

Now he looked surprised, before it faded into a mask of indifference. I could tell that he was steeling himself for beratement. "Okay." was all he said.

"And then Liam was brought back, into the mind of a twisted demon and despite his days as a drunk loser, he was still human. Still good. And he was appalled by Angelus."

Angel nodded hesitantly.

"You're not Angelus and you're not Liam. Angel is like a mergence of them." I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. "Whether or not you realize, Angelus' actions spurred Liam into being a better person. To becoming Angel." I swiveled my chair away from the computer to like at him better, face to face. "It's all there...in anyone who knows you, the first thing they say 'oh, he's that vampire with a soul' and that's what you have to understand. What you need to accept. That's exactly what you are. You are still a vampire. Having a soul can't change it. But that soul is what keeps you from being Angelus and that demon is what turned you from Liam to Angel. The kind of guy that respects women and trys for love instead of alleyway sex. I actually think that Angel is better than them both."

"How did you know that stuff?" he asked suddenly. "About Liam?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter." He rose a brow. "Just think about what I said. Angelus is his own entity. And he may be part of you, Angel, but you are not part of him."

I think he would have said something, but he stood suddenly and looked toward the library doors. Giles and Jenny came in, laughing, and then quieted when they saw Angel standing tensely by Willow. What was his problem anyhow? It wasn't like they had forbid him from coming here. He was here alot actually.

Jenny met my eyes, hers holding a hint of disgust, and the reality of it crashed down. He didn't want them to know we had been alone together.

I looked away from Jenny, already gathering my things as I glanced to the vampire. Oh Great, and his tense stance was just screaming 'Innocence'.

That was sarcasm.

I zipped my backpack and headed toward the door. "Everything was clear on the morgue front, Giles. See ya."

"Oh, yes. Good night, Willow."

"I'll walk you." Angel said from beside me. When did he follow me to the door?

I startled a little, glancing back to my teacher and librarian, and withering a little under Jenny's accusing glare. Still, I wasn't risking death or losing a friend over someone's misconcieved thoughts. I nodded to the vampire and we left.

I figured he'd ask me tons of questions as soon as we left the building, but the walk was silent, and I was glad to see he seemed to be thinking pretty hard about something.