"What does it matter? Why do I need to say it?" Frustration swirled around the room with a vengeance as Tessa stared at her therapist. It was her last scheduled session before she could be released and all Tessa had to do was admit that she needed help. It was proving to be quite the challenge.
"You need to say it because it is true. You cannot get better on your own, Tessa. You need help, but you are refusing to let anyone help you. You told me that you promised to let your parents in and you did, you allowed them to sit in all of our sessions since, but that's all. I was hoping to see more progress by now, and certainly before I sign your discharge papers."
The blonde haired woman held up those beautiful, freeing papers tauntingly. Tessa's eyes locked onto them greedily and snapped back to her doctors' as she tucked them away again.
"You're not very nice sometimes."
With a slight smile, Dr. Taylor nodded at her patient. "You may be surprised to hear that you're not the first person to tell me that. And if you just say it, you only have to see my smiling face twice a month. Doesn't that sound tempting?"
A teenaged sigh filled the room. "I need help."
"Help with what?"
"Getting better. There, is that what you wanted to hear?"
Another smile from the therapist, this time a tad smug. "Yes. That wasn't that hard, was it?"
Tessa took a deep breath before answering the rhetorical question. "Actually, it was. I am the kid of two world class surgeons. I have been taking care of myself since I was eight. I have been trained not to need any help, to not admit that I need help. Needing assistance with anything makes me weak. That's the advice my grandmother gave me on my 11th birthday. So, yes it was that hard. Now sign the damn papers so I can leave this damn hospital!"
After a moment of staring at the teenager, Dr. Taylor scrawled her signature across the lines, releasing Tessa from her sanitary prison.
"Are you ready to go, Sweetie?" Addison hovered at the bathroom door where Tessa was changing into her street clothes. "Just give me a second, Mom." Tessa would be walking- well technically rolling, according to hospital policy- into the wide open world in a matter of minutes and she just needed a second. She needed a second to remind herself that she was safe; that nobody was going to take her away again. A moment to think about the fact she was leaving a part of the reason she was here behind. A huge, unforgettable, beautiful, brave smart-ass part.
Six days after being rescued, an infection settled in Violet's wounds. Antibiotics were pumped into her body vigorously, and she got better. And then, her kidneys failed. Her kidneys failed before then phone call to UNOS could be made. Her liver went next, and then her heartbeat stopped. Her heartbeat stopped as Tessa held her hand and promised to make sure that Robert ended up in prison. Violet died without ever being claimed by a family that had been missing her for 13 years. They showed up a day later. The police had run her DNA and facial recognition on her on the last good day. Turns out, her real name was Samantha Rogers. She had a mom and dad, as well as a little brother born six years after her disappearance; they left the hospital with tears and sobs and the body of the daughter and sister they never really knew. They left a more broken family than when they came in. Everyone had expected Tessa to lose it, and she did, for about 12 hours. She cried and screamed and beat her pillows until she was sedated. She woke up the next morning, calm and ready to talk. She assured her parents and therapist she was okay, that while Violet's death hurt like a bitch, she was okay with it. She was okay with it because she knew Violet was okay. Violet's biggest battle would be re-entering society, and it terrified her more than Robert ever could. She had told Tessa in the dark of night when they couldn't sleep that she almost hoped they couldn't find her family. "I can't live with a family I've never known; I can't be expected to just suddenly snap back in like a puzzle piece they couldn't find under the couch. I won't fit."
Tessa had just nodded and rubbed her friend's arm comfortingly. She had stayed until Violet finally fell asleep; not knowing that was the last conversation they would have. When Violet's family had been introduced to Tessa, she had smiled and told them they had a wonderful, strong daughter who had always dreamt of being with them again. She told Dr. Taylor that she had lied to them because there was no reason for hurting them anymore than they already were. She left out the part that she could hear Violet saying there had never been a bigger pile of bullshit in the universe.
"Tess? Are you okay? Do you need me?"
Addison's voice cut Tessa from her thoughts and back to the present. She was still standing in the bathroom; her feet planted in front of the mirror. Her green eyes traveled down the outfit her mother had brought for her to wear home. A Seattle Prep softball team long sleeved t-shirt, sweatpants and black Nikes. It felt amazing to wear real clothes again. After almost four and a half months of being naked or in a hospital gown, the simple ensemble felt like a million bucks. It felt great to feel like a person again. That was what she repeated in her mind when she felt overwhelmed. She was a person again.
"I'm fine. I-I'm coming out." Tessa walked back into the hospital room to see a mass of people waiting eagerly for her.
"Surprise!" That was an understatement. The entire hospital was standing in front of her. Alex and Arizona, Callie and Amelia, Bailey and Ben, Edwards and Wilson; her family. A smile plastered on her face, she moved around the small room; sharing hugs and giggles. As she talked and mingled, every so often, some would reach out and touch her shoulder or grab her hand. Mundane, instinctive movements that happen to people every day. Things that shouldn't send Tessa's heart into her throat every time they occurred. She would spin around in the direction of the touch with wide, panicked eyes that sent the toucher into shame. They would sputter apologies and she would sputter reassurances until the awkwardness reached a boiling point. She could feel the small burst of energy she had woken up with this morning draining as more hugs enveloped her. Addison, ever the eagle-eyed mother, watched her daughter as her smile grew strained and her eyes screamed that it was too much. Without a second thought, she pushed through the throng of people to her daughter's side. Knowing better than to reach out for her, she cleared her throat softly and called her daughter's name.
"Tessa, are you ready to go home, sweetheart?"
Green eyes went wide as she moved from Catherine's Avery's prying questions to the safety of her mother's side. "Yes please," the teenager mumbled into her mother's shoulder. Her extended family was sweet for celebrating, but she wasn't ready for parties. She was hardly ready to speak to two people, let alone a dozen. Addison just smiled and instructed an intern to bring a wheelchair. People clapped and cheered as Tessa was wheeled waving down the hall. Her father pushed her eagerly through the lobby, chattering away with his wife about what they should make for dinner. Addison bent down to press a kiss to her daughter's cheek and whispered, "You're going home, baby. You're going home."
Tessa just smiled and looked out at the rainy sky. "Happy birthday to me."
With a nervous hand clasped around her mother's, Tessa made her way cautiously to the front door of her house. She could hear her mother's encouraging words in the background as the surgeon's hand reached out to unlock the door and push it open. A deep breath filled Tessa's lungs as the familiar foyer welcomed her home. Her mother's hand ghosted gently down her back, stopping at the small of her back for support.
"Take your time, baby. There's no rush."
Derek stopped just behind his girls, gently rubbing both of their shoulders. "Well, it is raining; that might make going inside a little more tempting," he joked lightly. Another deep breath came from Tessa, and then she started to speak.
"You don't know how long I have wanted to do this. I was so scared to never see this doorway again. I thought I would never do this again. I-I thought I was going to die in a basement chained to a wall."
Addison dropped a kiss on her daughter's head. "I know, baby, I know. But it's only going to get better from here. All you have to do is walk in."
One step was all it took to bring back into her home. It was just like she remembered it, not that she expected anything different. The same family pictures filled the beige colored walls; the same ugly vase that her mother insisted was priceless still sat on the little table by the staircase. A few more steps to the right took her into her kitchen. Her parents still followed cautiously behind her, as if they expected her to breakdown and start screaming, but she didn't pay them any attention. She took her time walking through every room on the bottom floor, just relishing in the fact that she could. There wasn't anything out of place really, except she noticed a slight increase of pictures of her in every room. Her face forever frozen in some form of a happy memory stared back at her. School pictures, family vacations, and even her newborn picture from the hospital sat on the coffee table. The young girl picked up the-as of today- sixteen year old photograph, and looked back at her mother who stood behind the sectional leather couch.
"This- was this always there?"
Addison bit her lip as she looked at her baby holding her first ever picture. "No, I moved it. I pulled all of your photos out one night, though now I can't remember why. I guess I thought having pictures of you surrounding me was almost as good as the real thing. Of course, I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm so sorry I don't have anything for your birthday, sweetheart. I tried not to think about it before you came back, and afterwards, well I just didn't have time to organize anything-"
"Mom, it's okay, really. I didn't expect a huge party or anything. Honestly, just being able to see you guys and be home is better than any present I could've asked for."
Addison sighed with relief and moved to hug her daughter. She closed her eye tightly as the unimaginable thought of never being able to wrap Tessa up in her arms again rolled in. Of not ever being able to kiss her forehead and tell her that she loved her baby again. It almost physically hurt, and to fight the thought off, she held Tessa tighter and pressed a lingering kiss on the crown of her head. Tessa pulled away first as a yawn escaped her. The red head immediately started ushering her daughter to her bedroom, ignoring the teenager's protests.
"Mom, Dr. Taylor said I need to get back into routine as soon as possible. Taking a nap at noon is not something I normally do. I really don't want to sleep anymore. Can we please just watch a movie or something?"
Addison met her daughter's pleading gaze and relented. "Fine, but we'll watch it in my room so you can lie down. Go pick a movie for us to watch."
Tessa flashed her mother a smile before dashing back into the living room to sift through the Shepherd movie collection. She almost ran into her father, her mind distracted by the cinematic master piece she planned on bringing back upstairs. His strong arms wrapped around her in a tight hug, and Tessa realized that she hadn't been completely alone with her father since her return. She leaned against him, squeezing him tightly.
"I missed you a lot, dad."
"And I, you kiddo. But we're all here now. I'm here now, sweetheart. Where you off to in such a hurry?"
Tessa pulled Derek into the living room with a sly grin. "Mom and I are going to watch a movie, so she sent me to pick one out. Wanna help?"
Derek laughed at his daughter's mischievous smile. "Only if I can watch too."
After much debate between father and daughter, Tessa's favorite comedy, The Heat was the big winner. She said after the last few months, she deserved to laugh at stupid jokes and bad language. And though she would never admit it, it was one of Addison's favorites too. Derek told Tessa that he would be up in a minute, after gathering movie snacks. She raced back up the stairs towards her parent's bedroom. Addison had changed out of her jeans and sweater and into one of Derek's old shirts and pajama bottoms, her go to comfort outfit. Tessa smiled at the sight of her other looking so relaxed. It almost felt normal. Then, her eyes fell on the simple grey sweatshirt lying innocently on the foot of the bed. Addison saw her daughter's fixed gaze on her GSMH sweatshirt.
"I thought you might want to snuggle up in it. I know you usually only want it when you're sick but I thought it might be cozy."
Tessa just shook her head and whispered, "No, I don't want it. I don't ever want again. Please, please get rid of it."
With a concerned frown, her mother did as she requested. She stuffed the sweatshirt on the top of her shelf in her closet. When she emerged again, Tessa hadn't moved. Addison opened her mouth to ask what happened, but Tessa beat her to it.
"I really don't want to talk about it. I know I'm supposed to, but I just got home and I really just want to not think about him anymore."
Taken aback, Addison just nodded and climbed into her bed. Tessa shook her head as her mother beckoned for her to climb in next to her. "I just want to go get something, I'll be right back."
She hurried down to her bedroom, hardly hesitating before flinging the door open. It looked the same like she knew it would. Her bed was made messily, like she had done it in a rush, and her most prized possession sat right where she left her. Heddie the Owl was gift from her father when she was two. If she remembered the story correctly, the little stuffed animal became her best friend on 9/11, but that was a story for another time. She crossed her bedroom to pick up the ratty little toy and kissed the top of its head. Tessa ran back to her parents' room to find both of them waiting for her. Derek had already put in the DVD, and an array of snacks covered the bed. She smiled as she saw that her favorite movie candy sat right next to the big bowl of popcorn. Sour gummy worms were a treasure that must be protected at all costs. She clambered into the king size bed, nestling her and her owl right in between her parents. Addison leaned back on her pillows and gestured for Tessa to lean on her. The teenager did so happily, and smiled as she felt her mother's narrow fingers gently running through her hair. The movie did its job, making the family laugh mindlessly for an hour and a half. With nothing else to do, they put on another, this time one of Tessa's all-time favorites, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Her mother had groaned, as the amazing cinematic jewels creeped her out. Addison did not believe in magic.
"Hey, I'm only a dork 'cause you raised me to be one. Really, this is all your fault."
Derek laughed and joined in. "Yeah, Addie you were the one that insisted reading to her every night when you were pregnant. Our daughter wouldn't be such a nerd if you had watched some more baseball with me."
"Can we just get the movie over with, please? And it's not nice to gang up on the person who loves you most in the world. It's quite mean."
Tessa made a pouty face at her words, and reached up to press a kiss to her mother's cheek. She snuggled down in the blankets more as the familiar opening played out on the screen. The teenager didn't make it past the first half hour before she fell asleep, her parents serving as her pillow. When she awoke with a start(not from a bad dream, she just got cold) only her dad was left in the room. The TV was off; the movie had ended hours ago. Derek was knocked out at the foot of the bed, snoring like a water buffalo. Tessa chuckled softly as she got out of the bed and placed a kiss on his stubbly cheek. She wandered down the hall, pausing to stick her head in her parent's office, not entirely surprised not to find her mother there. Her search for the surgeon led her down stairs and into the kitchen, where her mother sat chatting softly with a brunette woman sitting at the island. Aunt Amelia. With a sly grin, Tessa crept closer, giddy with excitement. Neither woman had noticed her entrance. She tip-toed closer and closer till she could wrap her arms around her aunt.
"Gotcha!"
Amelia yelped in surprise and turned to face her now hysterical niece with a fake frown. "You just think you're so clever, don't you?" She asked as she reached out to squeeze the laughing teenager.
Tessa winced as her laughter subsided and her stitches ached. She hurried to reassure her mother and adored aunt she was alright.
"It's good. It was a good pain. What are you doing here, Amelia?" she questioned as she plopped down on the bar chair next to the older woman.
"Well, I kinda camped out here for your parents while you were gone. I wanted to grab some of my stuff before you went to bed, so you could get back into routine. Then, your mom informed of the dinner plans of Chinese takeout from that place on 5th, and seeing as it is my favorite place, I decided to stay for dinner. I was just about to go and wake you and your dad up when you gave me a heart attack."
Tessa opened her mouth to give her aunt a sassy retort when the doorbell rang. Her green eyes lit up with excitement and she scooped her mother's wallet off the counter and hurried to the door. She flung it open with a smile for the delivery guy, but it quickly fell away when she saw Detective Martin's sour face staring back at her.
"What are you doing here?"
Her words came out harsher than she meant, but the last time they spoke, Tessa had ended up in tears and the most horrifying experiences from the cabin had left her body in the form of words in a notebook.
"I'm not here for any more questions, if that's what you're thinking, so you can relax. I actually have some good news, and I thought you should hear it in person."
Tessa raised her right brow and nodded for him to continue. She really wasn't expecting the bomb he dropped.
"Your kidnapper is in custody."
DUH DUH DUH! Left you with a cliffhanger! Violet's death probably caught you off guard, but i just couldn't find a place for her in Tessa's life anymore. She will be missed. i hope everyone is doing well and thank you for sticking with me so far!