Task: prompt Mariah Carey's song 'Belong With Me'

AU: non-magical

Round 10: We Belong Together

Severus sat there at his desk, staring at the paper of his journal, trying to come up with words to describe his pain. There was nothing.

Nothing could possibly show just what he had lost and how it left him feeling empty.

June 6, 1975

What the hell have I done?

This was it. She was never going to take him back now.

She was the only good thing in my life. And I ruined it.

His left hand was shaking, balled into a fist. How could he have ever uttered those words? Thinking back on it, Severus couldn't even think them!

I was just so angry. I still am. Damn that Potter brat!

Should he call her?

Severus picked up his mobile. Her number was the first on speed dial. No one was more important. Not his lying, pathetic mother and especially not his whoring son of a bitch father.

He pressed the button and it went off. Beep, beep, beep. The number you are calling is currently preoccupied. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep.

"Lily, it's me, Severus. I just...God, Lily, I'm so sorry. You can't believe how sorry I am. It's just that damn Potter─" No, she wouldn't want him bad-mouthing him. Her and her bleeding heart, feeling sorry for that arrogant, attention seeking good-for-nothing. Just because he had lost his parents. So what? Severus' parents hadn't been around for years!

"Look, it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I lied...and I'm sorry for that. You know I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you. I never mean it. I just thought..." He ran his hand through his long black hair, frustration bleeding from his tone. "You knew it was going to be tough and that I'd have to be convincing."

The radio was playing. It was incredibly annoying. It was as if the whole bloody universe was conspiring against him and even the radio dj mirrored his thoughts.

"If you think you're lonely now..."

Well, that, dear Bobby, is not helping at all!

Frustrated, Severus turned the dial to change the song. His momentary lapse of silence on the voicemail was starting to become more noticeable, but he couldn't concentrate on getting the right words out with this music playing.

"I only think of you."

Couldn't he catch a break tonight?

Returning his full attention to the phone in his right hand, he let out a harsh breath.

"Lily, if I mean anything to you, please give me a chance to make it right. I know I shouldn't have called you that...word and I shouldn't have lied about my feelings in front of the group. I'm just so close to having the evidence needed to put the whole thing down and them into prison. When that's all over, I'll be happy to shout out to the whole world how much I love you. You're a part of me ━ the best, actually ━ so if you left...I'd lose myself."

Severus was struggling to keep it together and not burst into tears. It wasn't manly and Lily needed him to be strong. He couldn't be weak, not now. The public needed him! If he couldn't get Riddle, lots of them would die! Severus couldn't let that bloody terrorist continue his rampage.

"I need you, Lily. Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough?

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone till the sun comes up? I just...no one could ever take your place, Lily." A low, deep chuckle left his throat.

"You may notice I feel slightly out of my element, here." A grimace was etched tightly into his face. With a sigh he uttered his last words before cutting off the message. It was already too long, anyway.

"You need to make a choice now, so I'll leave you to it. Please, call me whenever you're ready to talk. Just know that I'll always love you. Bye."

So this was it.

I should have worked harder, faster; then we wouldn't be in this bloody mess and Lily would be here, lying next to me. Damn Pettigrew for suddenly switching sides. Couldn't make up his bloody mind and boom everything blew up in pieces, I'm the bad guy and Potter swoops in to save the day.

Another heavy sigh left Severus' mouth. He couldn't always blame James Potter for his misery. It was stupid, foolish and very childish. He was a grown man, for fuck's sake!

It doesn't really matter, I guess. If she so chooses, Potter gets the glory and the girl and I'm all alone working on an impossible task. I should've refused Dumbledore, back then. Who in their right mind would agree to take down terrorist mastermind Tom Riddle? Most feared man Great Britain's and evil supreme.

Severus Snape had. The fool, obviously not in his right mind and blinded by his love to Lily, attempting the impossible while trying to impress his love and show her his worth, that he wasn't beyond saving, no matter what the police and his criminal record said.

I guess that's another sleepless night for me.

End of entry.

Putting down his signature mark ━ an old family emblem with candle wax and a sigil, completely at odds with the modern times he lived in ━ Severus waited a minute for the hot wax to cool down before closing his journal.

He never put down a name. If any of his enemies came across this little book it would most definitely be fatal for himself and a lot of other people, Lily included. The only name was at the front: The half-blood Prince. An old joke between friends and only Lily truly understood the name's meaning. It would stay that way.

Lily and him, forever. They had promised as kids, as teenagers and as adults when he asked her to marry him. Never had he been able to fathom he could ever be left without her love.

Now it was a very scary, but possible reality. He just hoped that their love was strong enough to survive this fall out.