Chapter Thirteen: Getting Out of Reverse
As the silver door swings open, I yank Seth behind and watch a green force field shoot out of my outstretched hand. A little jolt of alarm races through me at the sight, but those feelings only intensify when I take in the ghost standing before me, a face no longer frozen in time, but one that has seemed to age along with the rest of us
His face has grown longer while muscles have filled out his once lanky frame erasing his slight boyish look of long ago. My eyes land on the five o'clock shadow covering his chin.
"Look, Liz, it's a hair, and it's on my chin," Alex says staring at himself in my locker mirror.
"Yes, it's in your chin Alex." I repeat having no idea where this conversation is going. "I hope you and your hair will be very happy together." "You are such a smart ass. You do not understand the significance of the situation. This is entrance into the world of men. I man," he beats his chest but stops abruptly as Isabel walks by surrounded by her cohorts. "Hey, Isabel." She doesn't even acknowledge him. "Bitch, sometimes I can't even believe she and Max are related." "What am I thinking?" he grumbles staring at his Sketchers. "I'm always going to be the dork, aren't I?" "You are not a dork." "Really." "I mean it." "Who else do you know that can speak Klingon and has read the Lord of the Ring twenty five times. Hell, you were beating Ricky Kessler up for me when we were in the fourth grade." "I didn't touch Ricky Kessler." "So he just slipped after he hit me in the head on purpose with the dodge ball." "I have no what idea you're talking about." "That's why he tripped you out by the buses," leaning in he traces the scar just above my eye. "You were bleeding all over the place. Max stayed with you until your mom came. I always wondered why he did that. You guys weren't really friends." "I asked him to. He's kind has this calming presence to him." Looking into the classroom, I can see him sorting our supplies out in front of him. "The point is that I should been able to take him." "You're time will come." "Right." I draw closer to him. "Tell you a secret. One of these days Isabel and all of her very obnoxious friends are going to grow up and see what I've seen all along." "What is that?" "You're one of the best people I know," I answer punctuating my statement by kissing him on the cheek. A slight blush colors his cheeks. Turning my head, I catch Max glaring at Alex. What? No, I'm imagining that. "Liz," he whispers. "Yeah." "When I'm old and studly and running around with a thousand blondes, we'll still be friends, right?" "Always," I answer.
Overwhelmed by the situation, I place my shaking hand over my mouth.
Max can do it. He'll do it. Alex will be fine and we'll have to make up a story about what happened. It will be okay. Everything will be okay. What's taking so long? We could say that it was comma. I read about something about that in American Journal. Yeah, that could work. There's that part in the Shipping News when the fisherman wakes up. Of course, that's a movie but maybe there's some scientific fact behind it. I'll goggle it when I get home. The ambulance's doors open. Max emerges. He closes the door behind him. I take in a shallow breath. Why isn't Alex with him? Dejected, he stops in front of Tess, but looks at me. "Liz," he says my name with so much heartbreak it takes everything in me not to bury myself in his arms. Isabel sobs something inarticulate before taking off down the street. "Max go after her," Tess tells him. "Liz," he asks again. "Yeah, Max go after her." I shake my head. No, that's not what I mean. Please come back. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone, but the words don't come out. No, this is better. I can't want him anymore. I'm not supposed to want him anymore. He moves away while I just stand still. We're always in opposition and never in sync anymore. I sit down on the curb and stare at the wet ground alone.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Tess studying me. Unnerved, I step back so Michael blocks me from her view.
Propping himself in a way that obscures the rest of the freezer, Grey seems just as intent at studying me as I am of him. I can literally feel his gaze travel down the planes of my face.
Yet, there's something not right. A slight discomfort starts again in my palms. Looking down on my left hand, the glove is back, but instead of being silver the color has changed to that of midnight blue.
A rustle of movement comes from my side, and I feel Seth's finger slip from mine. Balling his fist up, he bangs on the force field. "You're not being nice."
Alex's eyes move nervously around the room as a large blue vein bulges out in his forehead.
I bite my lip as I see her small figure clad in her sundress step out from the corner with clear alarm painted across her face. Grabbing hold of Seth's coat, I begin to back up stopping his attempts to wiggle furiously out of my grasp. "His father and Michael are parking the car."
"Maybe, you should go and help him with that," Grey suggests.
"Dad's not…" I cover his mouth, but he pulls my hand away. "Stop telling lies Liz. We came by ourselves." Almost instantly, the freezer door is shoved open to reveal a large translucent creature holding Grey. With snow white tentacle cascading down his head, he looks like a Gorgon come to life. Six nearly identical figures rise up from the floor around us with a strange sulfur smell accompanying them.
"Daddy told me never to tell lies to my friends."
I swallow down the bad taste of guilt.
"They hurt people," Seth tells me while his hold on my hand seems to be cutting off all my circulation.
Through the shield, I watch a small whole open in the largest one, and a small red feeler emerge. Snaking out of what I think is its mouth, the red tentacle moves back and forth before my eyes like some charmed cobra. I can feel Seth tugging at my waist and hear both him and Grey telling me to look away, but it does no good. Instead, my attention stays riveted to the back and forth motion. As it swings to the new position marking its future and back to it's old position marking its past.
New becomes old.
Future becomes past.
Everything happens in a line. What happens when you cut yours up and start a new line?
I rub my arms against the cold before ducking underneath the yellow police tape. Standing on the inside, I feel closer to what's left. Stop kidding yourself, there's nothing left. It's all gone. They're gone and by some wicked chance you're still here.
Getting angry at the open space that used hold so much for me, I kick a pile of ash while something shinny catches my attention. Bending down, I pick it up and close my eyes. "Out of all the things to survive," I whisper. "It's ironic considering we had a shelf life of three months. I bet you're stinking happy," my eyes drift upwards to the stars, "with your wife and your son." Angrily, I fling it away from me, but the moment I let it go. I feel its loss. I have nothing of before nothing except it. Racing to where I think it has landed, I fall on my knees and start digging through the dirt, but the bandages on my hands get in the way. Furiously, I try and tug them off. They don't budge. With my teeth, I create a seam. I've got the ones off my left hand when a light falls on me. Squinting my eyes, I can barely make out three blobs. "There she is." "Maria it's condemned. That's what the tape is for." "Screw the tape," she answers while another figure totally disregards the conversation completely climbing over it. I blink once, and I feel his arms around me. Turning to him, I bury myself in his embrace and let his strength wrap around me. "You really had me frightened Liz. You said you were going back to Maria's to rest." He coughs and clears his throat. I break away from him. "Are you okay Brian?" "Just been feeling a little funny lately." "Because you've been too busy taking care of me." I frown. "Well, I couldn't ask for a more prettier patient Parker." "But your dissertation?" "My dissertation can wait. Now what's up?" "I have to find it." "Find what?" Maria asks hugging me from behind. "The necklace." "What necklace?" Kyle says joining. "You finally decided to be rebellious and cross the line." "Give me a break woman, as a rule enforcer it behooves me to I don't know follow the rules." "You know ever since you got on this I must be in the FBI kick you've become a real drag." "What do you think Parker?" Brian whispers into my ear. "I think they must be secretly doing it." I smile a small smile. He smoothes the hair away from my face. "Now about this necklace." My ex boyfriend gave it to me. I haven't looked at it in five years but since it's the only thing that wasn't blown apart. I kind of like to have it. I finally settle on the basis. "It's silver, and it has an eye on it." "Oh, you so you do not need that. It's from," Maria waves her hand in the air. "The asshole," Kyle finishes. "Where do you think it is?" "Here somewhere." He and Brian join me on the ground. "I can't believe I'm doing this," Maria says seconds later as she starts digging through the ash. "What the hell is this? It looks like," she pauses, "macaroni and cheese. Gross," she flings it behind her. "There's been some squatters," Kyle answers. I stare at the four of us huddled over the dirt. I feel the tears start to form again. "Thanks," I tell each one of them. "Thank you for being my friends. I couldn't have gotten through this without you all," I wipe my eyes while the pedant catches my attention but this time I don't pick it up alone. Both my hand and Brian's wrap around the smooth medal. "Beat you to it Parker," he coughs. Grabbing the flashlight, he holds it up to the light. I see him frown. "Here Liz," he drops it into my hand like he can't get rid of it fast enough. I shiver at the sudden distance between us. "It doesn't mean anything. It's the only thing that survived. It's not like I'm keeping it, because I still have feelings for him or anything." "You know it's not really my business," he says getting up. "I'll meet up with you guys later." "Did I do something wrong?" I ask after he's left. "No, honey he's a man," Maria says ushering me back on to the sidewalk. "Kyle please translate what the hell that was." "Hell if I know." "He calls me up literally freaking out, because you're not at my house. He made it sound like that you were in mortal peril." "It's just when I woke up in the hospital. He seemed different just the way that he held me. It's like he hadn't seen me in a very long time or our whole relationship had changed." "Not to over state the obvious, but you did almost die again." Maria smacks Kyle on the arm, "That's really crass you know that." "It's okay. I'm sort of like Cat Woman when it comes to the whole dying thing." "Liz?" "It's just a thing I need to do." "Alright," she pats my shoulder.
I slip the necklace into my purse. Crouching down, I scoop up a bit of ash into my hand.
"WAKE UP," Sierra's voice screams in my head. A high pitched wail begins like a tea pot screaming to be taken off a stove's burning eye. Pulsing erratically, I cover my ears. Rising higher and higher, I feel it splitting me right down the center when my eyes spring open to the shadows playing across the walls and to the comfort of quiet.
Where am I again? I think I'm sitting on the floor. Great my ass has fallen asleep.
A water bottle is thrust into my hand. "Now I want you to drink this all, I don't want hear any complaining from you Liz," a small voice orders.
"Seth," I say groggily. "Grey?"
"He's went to go and see something."
"What?"
"I'm not answering anymore questions until you drink."
"You know you're very pushy."
"You're not very smart. You never supposed to let Scions feed on you Liz."
"What?"
He presses on my forehead.
"Stop that. It hurts," I wince.
"I can't heal it, daddy could if he wasn't sick."
"What do you mean your dad is sick?"
"Drink."
I take a sip.
"Khivar made him sick. He made Grey do it, but Grey didn't want to do it. He had to."
I try and get up but the floor begins to move. "Help me up."
"Nope, you need to rest."
"We have to get out of here. Grey's a." I pause as at his figure standing in the doorway. I smack the back of my head against the wall. "Oh hell just kill me now. I'm tired of all this crap." Another unsettling thought comes to me. "Where did the things."
"The scions," Seth adds.
"Yeah, where did they go?"
"Don't you remember?"
"Should I remember? It's this thing isn't it," I say lifting up the pedant. "Great, it's glowing again."
"It believes you to be in a danger," Grey answers from the doorway.
"Being in danger is sort of old hat for me."
He takes a step forward and a shield rises up around Seth and me.
"I'm not going to hurt you Liz."
"Not this again," Seth hits his head in frustration.
"I need you to trust me. We need to get out of here. Khivar is going to sense what happened. He going to be here eventually."
"He'll take the little girl away from you," Seth adds.
"Little girl?"
"She helps you. Please Liz, we need to go."
I nod my head. "I don't know how to make it go away."
"Can I do it?"
"Yeah."
Gently, he grabs my hand. Closing his eyes, the shield dissipates while I watch Grey look on at us curiously.
"We can go out the back."
He pulls out a large black duffle back from under a desk and slings it over his shoulder. Throughout the whole exchange, I can't stop staring at him. I know he's not Alex, but I have to try and make amends. It's the only way that I can ever move on.
He nudges me to the door, but I don't move. "I need to know or to say something before we go anywhere. I'm sorry for taking your life. It was.."
He puts his finger to my lips to silence me.
"You didn't do anything."
"I gave you back what that bimbo took from you."
"All this time, I thought it was me," barely keeping my emotion in check. "That it was my fault that you died that when I changed everything. I gave him life and cost you yours. But, it wasn't me, was it? I need to know."
"It wasn't you. If he had known, how much this weighs on you he would have told you years ago."
Seth yanks on my arm.
"Why?"
"It was an accident, or she claims it to be."
"Do you believe her?"
"Liz."
Irritated, I look down on his suddenly very pale face. "What is it?"
"I'm seeing things," he says dazed before falling in my arms.
"What the hell?" While I seem to take on killer aliens, his limp body appears to be a completely different scenario. Looking at him, another small body appears before my eyes, but where his is warm. Hers is cold and hard. A memory begs for an audience, but I refuse it. I'm not losing another child.
Taking off my over shirt, I wad it into a ball and place it underneath his head. "Tell me, this is normal."
He doesn't answer me.
"Alex," I demand. "Talk to me. Oh God, I should have called his dad. He told me not to but, I shouldn't have listened. I'll call him."
He grabs my purse away from me.
"If he told you not to call Max, then you need to do what Seth says. He's not some fluke or amateur Liz."
"Is that's why he's passed out on the floor?"
"He's having a vision luckily this isn't a bad one. He shouldn't have any seizures, but we can't move him until he wakes up."
"Seizures?"
"He has epilepsy. It's sort of a by product of the visions and having the ability to communicate with Nessa."
"Then she needs to stop chatting with a seven year old and start talking to me," I roar.
A slight smile curves on his lips.
"What?"
"You're very protective of him."
"No, I'm not."
Seth face contorts into a grimace, and his head lurches up.
Feeling completely helpless, I lean down over him. "You're going to be alright. I won't let anything bad happen. Just go see what you have to but come right back." A strange idea grips me and brushing away his hair. I kiss his sweaty forehead and watch a trail of green sparks flow down his face.
Beside me, Grey inhales his breath.
My eyes shoot up. "I just did something bad, didn't I?" my voice hitches.
"No, you're aligning with him."
"What?"
"Antarian mothers do it when they're children are in distress."
My hands jump back from his body. "I'm not his mother," hatred creeps into my voice. All I can see is Max holding Tess alternating with their child laying on the floor at my feet. Backing away from Seth, I have to get out of here.
I'll go back to Brian. I don't even have to understand the alien connection. I can solve this without Max. Hell, he didn't even finish high school let alone college. He wasn't even smart enough to use protection, because he wanted Tess so badly.
You're my destiny Liz. I want to be with you. Crap Crap Crap.
A small gasp from Seth sends me diving onto the floor next to him. With out any coherent thought, I pull his head onto my lap. "Shh, you're okay." I tell him smoothing away his sweaty hair as more green sparks float down his face. His once tense body grows slack in my arms. "I don't understand what I'm doing."
"You're telling him that you're out there for him."
"He has his father."
"That's different. Maternal bonds are very important in male Antarians' development."
"Well, you stop saying that. I'm not his mother."
"I'm living proof that genetics means nothing in the scheme of things. He trusts you, which is nearly miraculous considering."
"You can't trust someone you've just met."
"Are you sure about that?"
"He doesn't even like me."
"You should see what he does to the people he doesn't like," he answers ominously. "You see the light that spirals down your skin when you touch him."
"Yes."
"That shows he's open to you. That shows a connection."
"When I touch his father it's red."
"That's the convergence."
"Which is what exactly?"
"I don't think you'll like the implications of that."
Opening his bag, he pulls out several small black inhalers. Putting one to his mouth, he takes a puff. "Why did you come here really?"
I bite my lip.
"I know it's your job to kill my kind."
"Then you are a virus?"
"Yes," he says softly.
"A carrier?"
"No, I'm a living organism designed with one purpose to enter and destroy. I do not sleep, or eat. Normal human drives mean nothing to me."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"There are four others like myself. You need to be able to see them as the enemy and not as your friend."
"If you are my enemy, why did you try to warn us?"
"In the two years that Max was held hostage, I tortured him. I was a master at turning his own body against him."
"Yet, he allows his son to know you."
"Stop trying to see the good in me."
"Then you stop acknowledging only the bad. You want to talk about bad. Who do you think sent him to the hell hole? If I'd been honest with him, he would have never ended up there."
"If you had been honest with him, he would had never had a son he adores."
I clinch my fists.
"That bothers you, doesn't it?"
I tuck my hair behind my ear. "He's going to have a daughter to. I'm sure he'll adore her just as much."
"And you?"
"And me what?"
"Children?"
"No… I um… don't want them."
"Why?" he says abruptly in a way that is certainly not Alex. "You seem to be good with them."
I meet him straight in the eye. " I can't bury another person that I love. I won't survive it."
"So you're going to cut through the red tape by not loving anyone? Mind if I tell you that the plan sucks royally."
"This is coming from the person…"
"I'm not a person."
"A virus that is overwhelmed by thoughts of self loathing."
"I guess it has everything to do with perspective."
"We'll your perspective is faulty."
"So is yours." Reaching for my hand, the connection that stirs between seems almost instant.
Darkness is his first memory. Stretching out in a thick silent void, he is unmade and unformed. Suddenly, there is a flash of light, a burst of pain, and a myriad of memories from another that converge all together. Pulled from some unnatural womb, he opens his eyes to him, his creator and father, the man who holds his purpose in his hands.
"Hello, Alex. I've been waiting a long time for you." Khivar says triumphantly.
Khivar's words are gibberish to his newborn mind, but he feels alarm all the same. Lifting his hand upwards to study it, one thought rises above all others. He shouldn't be here. This is wrong.
The picture shifts and where there was once darkness and fear. Light and dull ache fall into place. Standing before her, he covers his heart. For the nearly hundredth time, he wonders why she impacts him so. Did she have the same power over his predecessor? It is he she wants not him. Tearing his gaze away from her golden hair and her bottomless eyes, he struggles to keep his voice firm against her onslaught. "Isabel, I'm not Alex Whitman."
"You are," she says in her soft, vulnerable tone she only seems to use with him.
He pulls away from her. "Alex died. You know that."
"You have his strength. It's what used to scare me so much about you. You knew what I was and you loved me for it. I spent my entire life hiding and pretending. You saw through it all. It scared me to death. You love me. Not some fantasy but me. It's why I tried everything in the world to push you away. It's why I flaunted Grant in your face."
He frowns. Grant? A wisp of a memory floats by but he's unable to catch it.
"I wanted you see that I didn't deserve you, and I wanted you to leave. If I hadn't been so busy plotting and driving you away, I would have seen what Tess was doing."
He clinches his fists.
"I need you to forgive me for not being there Alex."
Turning to her, try as he might he can't ignore the anguish that rips through him at the sight of her tear stained face. With the light shinning down on her golden hair and slight tint of her cheeks, he knows he has never seen anyone more beautiful. In this instant, he makes the choice to pretend briefly and play the role he has denied her up to now. Using the trickery of words, the he that is Alex Whitman converts into an I, because somehow he knows that the real Alex Whitman would do the same thing. "I forgive you."
"Thank you," she breathes licking her lips. He knows what she wants, but he will not cross that line. He pats her hand and stands up. "I have to go." Walking away, he looks slightly over her his shoulder at the angel that does not belong to him and will never belong to him but whose purpose seems to torment him all the same.
"Interesting," Khivar says coming around the corner and falling into step with him. "Here I thought you would have put up more of a fight. She after all did ignore you and use you."
"She did it to Alex not me," he corrects. "I have a feeling your purpose for bring me back wasn't so I could reduce Isabel Evans to a guilty quivering mass."
"Your purpose will become clear to you soon enough dear boy."
"You should have left me where I was."
He smirks. "What would the fun of that have been?"
"I'm not supposed to be here."
"You think too much."
He frowns as a strange look comes over Khivar's face. If he didn't know Khivar any better, he would think that it was an expression of concern. Following his line of sight, he sees the small red cloaked figure moving down below as a dark shadow trails along at her feet. Spreading across the once sunny courtyard, a sudden chill cuts through the balmy air. The bright yellow heads of flowers wither and turn a deadly black as she passes.
"You would think she would cut the dramatics after all of this time. I did her a favor."
"I don't think she sees it that way."
"Joining herself with inbreed, no matter how alluring his mother was unacceptable of someone with her breeding."
"She was in love."
"In lust, that's all it was. Keep an eye on her for me."
"Don't I always."
"If you would do a little more than just looking, we wouldn't be having this discussion."
"It isn't like that. We're friends."
"So tell me is she the young king's friend as well?"
He fights back his irritation.
"Always going to his aid."
Could he be anymore arrogant? Paging Emperor Palpatine and Saurman anyone, watching him fall was going to be the pleasure of a life time.
"Nicholas thinks they're plotting something, but my dear daughter has to many bats in her belfry for that. He is too weak to go anywhere let alone with an infant."
These one way discussions are always so entertaining just keep nodding and smiling. Why does he even ask for my opinion?
"It's your turn with him."
His eyes gaze down at the stone tiles as the bulging begins in his palm. Yes, it was his turn.
Grey lets go of my hand and gets up. "Stay here."
"Grey."
"I'll be fine just stay here."
"God, when did I become the bimbo from a James Bond movie?" As the flashes recede, sadness takes it place. I've gotten flashes from Seth, Grey and even Khivar, but from the person I want desperately to see again. There's been nothing. Maybe, I never saw him correctly in the first place, and he never saw me. I sigh.
"Don't be sad."
I jump as Seth's warm fingers trace my cheek.
"You're okay." I say relieved, but my relief is short lived as I look at his face. The expression is softer than Seth's customary harden ones. Who ever this is? It isn't Seth.
"You look so much prettier in person than you do in your pictures. You have to help him. It's gotten all messed up. She said she would make it so I was never born, and she has."
"I don't understand."
"He's doing things. I'm not there anymore to make him stop anymore. If I was there, he would listen to me. He always said that we were the only two that could make him see reason."
The hell?
"Please talk to my dad, you don't understand what will happen if you don't. He can do so much good or hurt a lot of people. She's coming. She won't ever leave me alone. It's why I came to visit you all those times. I just wanted to get out of the dark. The cell is so small," she says desperately. "I know Seth is coming to get me, but I'm not going to be here when he comes. I'm disappearing," she says with an underlining fear in her voice. "Please talk to my dad."
"Wait. Who's doing this to you? Whose your father?"
Seth's eyes flutter close.
"I can't fix this if you're going to speak to me in pronouns. I need some proper names here." I pat his forehead and more green sparks erupt. "Come on, talk to me."
"Get away from my son."
My head flicks up at the sound of his low and threatening voice to a rather pissed off Max, no pissed isn't the right word, let's try enraged. He looks at me and then Seth and back to me again. "What happened to your head?" he asks but it sounds more like a demand.
"I thought I try Chinese suction therapy since it was such a big hit with Gwyneth after she had Apple."
"That supposed to be funny?"
"I thought it was naming your daughter after a fruit. Tell me, you have any names picked out for your future offspring?"
A groan from Seth tears me away from the current staring contest that I'm having with his father. "Shh, it's okay." Running my fingers over his temples, a line of green spreads across his face silencing him.
"I'm not going to tell you again," Max says but this time he's behind me somehow. He's close. Close enough for me to smell him.
"Let go, Liz."
Why does he have to smell so good?
"Now."
"Fine, I can't help it if he wants me to play mommy for him, because you did such a wonderful job picking her out."
"No, that would be you who picked her out. The last thing he needs is another woman running off on him and since running off seems to be your specialty."
It happens so fast. I can barely account for it. One second, I'm sitting on the floor and the next I'm on my feet. My hand railing back to slap him. While I may be fast, Max is faster.
He stops my wrist right before it connects. His eyes ablaze, they smolder right through me. "What do you see when you look at him?" he demands.
"I see a little boy that desperately needs something, and sometimes I think that's me and it scares the shit out of me. And other times, I see you the way you were before or maybe it's the way I wanted you to be," unable to keep the torture out of my voice. "It breaks my heart. Is that what you want to hear or do you want to hear that I'm sorry for sending you to God knows whatever I sent you to, but I didn't have a choice."
He lets go of my wrist and practically pushes as if he can't get me away from him fast enough.
"I don't even know why I'm telling you this, because you're not human enough to understand any of it anymore."
"You could have come to me," he says with an underling fury in his voice. "We would have worked it out, but instead you took me completely out of the loop."
"You were in the loop," I laugh bitterly pressing my hand to my aching head as my vision starts to blur. Great, I'm going to faint in front of him. This is just freaking fantastic.
"He wasn't me."
Unable to look at him anymore, without seeing his phantom doppelganger, I turn my face away. "What was I supposed to do? There was you. You kept telling me how much you loved me and you just wouldn't listen and then there was him, you." I correct. "He was so broken and weary. I didn't want that for you."
"That wasn't your decision to make."
"Maybe not, but tell me would you have ever recovered from losing Michael and Isabel? Could you really go on without them?"
He doesn't answer me.
"You knew them in two lifetimes while we had only been together for a couple of months. It wasn't meant to be, and you know it. We had to grow up sometime one of has to be realistic about the situation."
"Now you're just coping out."
I shake my head. "You said it yourself after Michael got sick."
"Interesting how you recall things. I was asking for a break not a break up."
"We're too different. You remember saying that to me to?"
"I remember telling you that I loved you and then watching as you ran down a hill."
"You never loved me."
"Now, you're going to tell me how I felt."
"Did you think about how much you loved me when you and Tess made love? Where was your love for me then?"
"You're always going to put her in the middle, aren't you? Is that why you ran from me that day at the pod chamber?"
I turn my back on him. "Why are we even talking about this like it matters? I've moved on with my life. I've been with men."
"I've been with women."
Something bites into my heart at his confession. I picture myself clawing their eyes out. Stop it, I do want him to be happy. Why is this so hard? "Right. We've both moved on."
"Have we?" He whispers. Fingers skim across my hips and lightly turn me to him. Leaning in to me, his lips are so close to mine. I wonder if he still tastes the same after all of these years.
"Why did you leave?"
"I would have been in the way." There is so much more, but it's all I can get out right now. Please don't push me Max. He demands no further information. I'm grateful for it. "Did you love her?"
His Adam's Apple bobs jerkily. "No, I did care about her though."
I cringe. A fuck, a mindless screw would have been so much easier, but when did we ever go for easy. My gaze falls on their son who appears to be resting peacefully on the floor. I take a step back from the intimacy that threatens to ensnare me.
Max lets out a sigh.
I blink.
"Liz, what is it?"
"I don't feel very well." The room swims. I'm about to take a spill onto the cold floor, but instead I spill into something warm and strong. Catching me, it lowers me downward. I struggle to open my eyes, but the light is unbearable. I wince before a large bronze hand blocks it out.
He whispers something, but I'm unable to make it out. Closing my eyes, I stop fighting against what I wanted to do all those years before and settle down into the comfort of his embrace. God help me, I can't get hurt again I think before the darkness finally takes me