6th September
What a whirlwind few days, I accepted a job, and not either of the two offered, my lawyer for the case offered me work with military families, the money isn't fantastic but the work is and the hours are flexible. I've signed up with the Marine reserves, problem is I need to prioritise, I can't be a good mother to Ana from sea or a warzone. I think everyone was a little disappointed but it's what I had to do and actually I'm looking forwards to doing more family law.
I moved into the flat right next to Harm. Harm, Trish and Frank have helped me decorate and as I finally have access to my bank account I can actually buy things for myself. Frank took me to Chrysler and I got a great deal on a new car. So I have independence now.
The biggest news is I have a date, tonight, Trish and Frank have demanded babysitting rights whilst Harm takes me out. I can't believe it. We've spent a lot of time together, at the barbeque moving in and it feels right. I think we have both grown up a lot. Absence has made the heart grow fonder.
We sat for ages last night hashing out issues. I got to know answers to my questions, for example why had he believe Clay. Now I can see it his way. I left suddenly after acting weird, next thing Harm knows I'm in hospital running away with a baby, those were the facts. Clay had carefully created a web of lies around me, and everyone had brought into it, only when I told him to speak to his parents did he believe Clay was lying. That's when he started investigating the case himself. Anyway the date I'm so nervous I have no idea what to wear. I don't own that many clothes to begin with but I know who to call.
Wow I'm exhausted, Trish loves to shop, and I mean loves to shop. We got so much stuff and not just for the date. Although I did treat myself to a new wardrobe, make up and essentials. As well as getting more practical stuff like a high chair, push chair and baby gear. Anyway everything is unpacked, Trish and Frank are already here, doting on Ana, they brought her some story books that make noises, she smiles when the lights flash its adorable.
7th September
The date was amazing, I know I love Harm I know he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want him to be Ana's dad, but we have to take it one step at a time. This is Harm and Sarah getting to know each other. We had the barbeque today I'm going with Harm officially dating.
The barbeque was lovely, AJ and Jimmy are gorgeous and have decided Ana is their cousin. The Admiral made himself official Grandpa knowing that Ana had no grandparents. He dotes on her. Sturgis asked about the Christening I asked if he could speak to his father. He agreed.
Harriet and Bud said hello, I spent time talking to them, and Coates. It was strange being back like nothing had changed yet knowing everything had.
12th September
I am shattered, Ana is keeping me up at night and I've started work, at the moment Ana is coming in with me too work, she sit in her crib in the corner, mostly sleeping, but I haven't started with clients yet, I'm mostly reviewing case information. Working full time after a few months off is exhausting. Every night I meet with Harm for tea, mostly at mine as Ana's stuff is there. Trish and Frank had to go back home. My plan for the few days is to find a nanny. Ana is 7 weeks old and even though I have access to my savings they've taken a battering. Still Harm's been there for me, every step of the way. We are going on another proper date tomorrow; Grandma AJ is babysitting. He is another of the few people I actually trust with her.
13th September
The date went perfectly, we even stayed out longer this time and I only called AJ twice before he ordered me not to call again. Even though I wasn't a marine it felt natural to obey orders and I did manage to relax. Harm is the perfect gentleman and such a good dad with Ana.
15th September
Back at work, Sandra has said Ana can stay in the office for now, if I have a client meeting our receptionist can take her. I have no idea why she is so nice, Sandra says it's because she is getting an experienced lawyer on the cheap and adds to the family values they try to promote. I guess that could be true but I like the work. It's rewarding. My first client is a Master Chief who wants visitation with his kids, his ex-wife is saying his military lifestyle is badly affecting the kids. It should be easy to get visitation.
20th September
Harm surprised me last night, flowers, candle lit apartment, home cooked dinner. As I got in he took Ana off me pointing me towards the bath. As I had a relaxing bath he put Ana to bed. Then it was just us. We sat on the sofa, his arm around me, and began kissing. Harm is a good kisser. It made my toes curl. He is patient too. I'm not ready for more, kissing and cuddling is pretty good though.
22nd September
I've started Counselling sessions, it was Harm's idea, he has been going as a service personal I get free session. If Harm can do it I can too. Now I've stopped running the nightmares are coming back, maybe because I can finally relax enough to let myself sleep properly.
10th October
This year is flying I just spent the weekend at Harms Grammies, Sarah she is lovely and dotes on Ana, I think she just got herself a grandma. For her age she is rather spritely and gave me tips to keep Harm in his place. Ana is now able to smile, she recognises me and Harm. She is beautiful big blue eyes that are slowly darkening, Olive skin that makes her look like she has a healthy tan and a happy nature. She can roll over now and is learning to Marine crawl along the floor. She starts nursery in just 2 weeks' time. Just for 3 hours a day, it's the same one a lot of military personal use, Harriet recommended it. I'm going to miss her even if it is just for a few hours. Sturgis spoke to his dad, were getting Christened next month. Its difficult, Trish and Frank bowed out from being Godparents demanding to be grandparents instead. Now I need to find new Godparents. I agreed especially as Harm said he didn't want Ana being any different to the rest of our children. Our children. He wants our children, a little boy, Harms looks my brains, he'd be perfect. I've been speaking to the therapist Commander Mc Cool and we've been working through my many issues. Abandonment, trust, fears. Its hard work and leaves me exhausted. It does mean I've made progress, tonight I've persuaded Bud and Harriet to babysit overnight and I'm going to seduce Harm. I have everything ready I even used my first pay check to stop at Victoria secrets and pick up something special. Harm is in for the night of his life.
11th October
Last night was the best night of my life. I was able to intimate with Harm and he proposed in bed. He even had a ring he got from Grams. We are going to get married. Now it's my turn to arrange a surprise I've got the paperwork for Harm to officially adopt Ana and I'm going to change her surname to Rabb, Aiyana Soraya Rabb. Its going to be a surprise. We've arranged the Christening, Harm helped me pick the Godparents. Bud, Harriet and Sturgis. They are good role models and Sturgis is perfect for instructing anyone on Christianity. I'm getting married to my sailor. Mrs Harmon Rabb, Sarah Rabb, this is perfect. My life is perfect.
Hello Diary,
Harmon Rabb here. Sarah gave this to me to read and wow it's made me love her even more. She is the strongest person I know. Our perfect little girl Ana is nearly 2 now, and our little boy, Matthew Harmon Rabb is almost 6 months. Our life's are perfect.