Anyone who has been through a tough time knows what it's like. Obviously it sucks and obviously it's painful but it's more than that. When you're going through a difficult time you feel like it's never going to end. It just goes on and on and on. After it stops the hurt still continues. It could continue for seconds. It could continue for minutes. It could continue for hours. You just want it to stop. The relief isn't there anymore. You're screaming out in the night but it's like nobody can here you. You don't know how to resolve this. Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing seems to fit. It seems to be a never-ending path of destruction. Beck is the only thing that will keep me together. He the only thing that is good and sturdy and steady.
The next chapter will be longer. In the next chapter Beck learns how Ryder got the code