Author's note
Mass Effect belongs to BioWare and I get knocked down belongs to Chumbawamba
And so the student becomes the teacher. Hope you all enjoy and review!
Chapter fourteen: September to October: my new recruits
I woke up very early the next morning, on the floor of the empty room. Kaidan's arms were wrapped tightly around me, as if he would never let go. I did a quick inventory of my body. Quite stiff, but in a good way, sore down in the nether regions and a dull ache in my stomach. All in all, not bad.
"Kaidan," I whispered.
"Mph," he mumbled. "What's up?"
"It's half past five," I said. "We need to pretend to return from shore leave."
He stretched. "How do you feel?" he asked.
"Pretty good actually," I said. "You?"
"Amazing," he said. He kissed me somewhere near my ear.
"Did you enjoy last night?" I asked, feeling foolishly shy.
"Did I ever," he answered. "You were well worth the wait. Did I hurt you badly though?"
"It wasn't too terrible," I said. "The first time's supposed to hurt in any case, and our parents are supposed to check our sheets to make sure this really happened. Come on, we've got recruits to meet."
"Ugh, don't remind me," he said. He untangled his limbs from mine. "God you're beautiful," he said. "What did I do right to get you?"
"Stop being silly, Kaidan," I said primly.
"You know me, Janey," he said. "Just a big old jester. Now, get dressed before I decide to use the rest of those condoms up. Did you like that thing I did with my biotics?"
"Very much," I grinned, getting up.
"So, Senior Recruits, the time has come," Admiral Greyling said. "In a few hours the newest batch of grunts will be arriving fresh from their parents' houses. It is important that you do not give them the chance to settle in. If they settle in, they will become complacent, and if they become complacent they will grow to like it here, and if they grow to like things, they will not fight as well."
"You know, this man is speaking complete bollocks," I whispered in Kaidan's ear. "People fight best for something they believe in."
"Who knew," Kaidan mumbled.
"So, when these grunts arrive, you keep the heat on and you keep it on good," Admiral Greyling went on. "Has everyone set up dorms for the grunts?"
"Sir yes sir," we chorused like a well-rehearsed choir.
"Good," Admiral Greyling said. "Now, Pod 1 will be meeting for the first time in the gymnasium, Pod 2 in the command centre, Pod 3 on the shooting range, Pod 4 in the armoury, Pod 5 in the med bay, and Pod 6 in the warehouse. Remember, keep them scared, make them hate us, and make them wish they were at home. Dismissed."
"Good luck," I said to Kaidan.
"Why do I need luck?" Kaidan asked in confusion.
"You know, for-never mind," I said. "Come on, Khan."
"Right behind you, Shep," Ismaeel said.
I was feeling somewhat nostalgic on my walk to the shooting range. "Do remember our first day here?" I asked Ismaeel. "Feels so much longer than a year ago."
"Yeah," Ismaeel said. "Allah, I was terrified. All I knew about Del Sol was that the training was horrible and had a high death rate. You're so lucky you had a friend with you."
"I know," I said. "I can't imagine having come here alone."
"I'm not sure how I feel about this," Ismaeel admitted. "I remember how miserable the seniors made my life last year. Do I really want to put these recruits through the same thing?"
"Do you think we have a choice?" I asked.
"We always have a choice," Ismaeel said. "Even if we don't like it."
"Ok, let's look at it like this then," I said. "Who's your favourite trainer here?"
There was a long pause. "Anderson," Ismaeel said at last.
"Uh huh," I said. "Why?"
"Well, because he may be the biggest bastard to walk this galaxy, but at least he's the same bastard to everyone," he said. "You know, he doesn't have favourites or anything. Also, he brings the best performance out of everyone and makes us believe that we can do better."
"Then that is what we need to strive for with our grunts," I said.
I pushed the door to the shooting range open and stepped inside. Twelve pairs of eyes swivelled to stare at us. I felt something akin to stage-fright.
After what seemed like an eternity, Ismaeel said, "Hello Pod 3 grunts and welcome to…uh…Pod 3."
"For Christ sake, let me do the talking," I mumbled.
"Gladly," he mumbled.
"Grunts, of Pod 3, my name is Senior Recruit Jane Shepard, and this is Senior Recruit Ismaeel Khan," I said. "We are the officers for this pod, which basically means if one of us tells you to jump, you ask how high. Is that clear?"
"Yes ma'am," the grunts chorused uncomfortably.
"Really?" I asked. "I somehow don't believe you. Hey, you with the expensive clothes and the dark-Kasuumi?"
Kasuumi was standing nonchalantly in the middle of my grunts. "Hey, Shep," she said calmly. I had no idea my badass nickname had made its way to junior recruits that hadn't even had their BOL ceremony yet. "Long time no see."
"I guess," I said. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to learn all it is to become a marine," she answered. "Where's Kaidan?"
"He's been transferred to another Pod," I said. "Anyway, now that Kasuumi has ruined my motivating speech, let's get right to it. Khan?"
"Right," Ismaeel said. "We want to get to know you a bit better, so when we call your name, you'll sing the national anthem of your country of origin."
"Way to be motivational, Khan," I mumbled. I cleared my throat. "Y'all need to guess which country the national anthem comes from," I said. "If you guess wrong, you drop for ten. If someone guesses right, the singer drops for ten."
"And that was what you call motivational?" Ismaeel mumbled. He glanced down at the datapad with the names of the grunts on the list. "Nicos Anistropolus?"
A dark haired, very good-looking boy stepped forward.
"Segnoriso apo tin Kopsi tou spathiou tin tromeri; Segnoriso apo tin opsi pou me via metra tin yi," he sang.
"Cyprus," a blonde boy called.
Obviously this group was more intelligent than the last. Nicos shook his head and continued singing. The blonde dropped for ten.
"Ap ta Kokkala vyalmeni ton ellinon ta iera," the dark boy continued. "Ke san prot' anthriomeni haire o hair'eleftheria."
"Australia," a dark girl called.
Or not.
Nicos shook his head and continued singing.
"Sorry, just hold it Anistropolus," I said. "You, lady with the trampy clothes. You need to do push-ups."
"I don't know how to do that," the girl said.
"Sweet mother of God, what do you mean you don't know how to do that?" I asked. "You're in the marines for heaven's sake."
"No one taught me," the girl said.
"Khan, please can you teach tramp here how to do push-ups?" I said. "Anistropolus, continue please."
"Ke san prot' anthriomeni haire o hair'eleftheria," Nicos continued. "Ke san prot' anthriomeni haire o hair'eleftheria."
"Greece," the blonde boy said.
"Yes," Nicos said, dropping.
"Right, Marquez here is ready to demonstrate her push-ups," Ismaeel said.
"That was quick," I said.
"Yeah, she knows how to do them, she just called them pushies," Ismaeel said, rolling his eyes.
"Go for it, trampy," I said.
When she was done, I looked down at the list. "Colin Brown," I said.
"New Zealand," a small boy began.
"New Zealand," everyone said.
"Wow, this seems familiar," I said. "Go for it, Brown. Kasuumi Dranne."
"Gahadosh mej-Kahje," she began.
"Germany," the third girl said. Kasuumi shook her head.
"La-eski matreg jahuka," she continued.
"Russia," a very tall boy said. Kasuumi shook her head.
"Mahishk gematrik maje-Kahje," she went on.
"Wait," the blonde boy said. "Let's look at this logically. Who is she?"
"What do you mean, who am I?" Kasuumi asked.
"Dranne, keep singing," Ismaeel ordered.
"She's Kasuumi Dranne," another of the boys said.
"Right," the blonde boy said. "She's famous for what?"
"For being super sexy," Nicos said, leering at Kasuumi.
"Get lost, you creep," Kasuumi snapped.
"Apart from that," the blonde boy said.
"People, what the hell is going on here," I said loudly. "This is the marines. You aren't required to be able to think logically."
"She's the first human hybrid," the blonde boy said.
"Yeah, human and drell," the third girl said. "Which means she's singing the national anthem for the drell homeworld, Rakhana."
"Rakhana doesn't exist anymore," Kasuumi snapped.
"The drell destroyed the planet two centuries ago," the blonde boy said patiently. "They farmed it to pieces, and when they were done with that, they bombed what was left, but not before the hanar came and evacuated-how many of you?"
"One hundred thousand," Kasuumi said.
"One hundred thousand," the boy repeated. "Now all the drell that are left live on the hanar homeworld, Kahje."
"Which means she's singing the hanar national anthem," Colin said triumphantly.
"For Christ's sake, I want you all to give me twenty for being annoying and ignoring me," I snapped.
There was a collective groan as they all dropped down. "Dranne, I want the additional ten from you," I said. "Good work on figuring that out though, I would never have thought as logically about it." They stood up. "Right, I have no idea how to pronounce this next name," I said. "Arth-war Fforde?"
"Arthur," a stocky, barrel-chested boy said.
"Pardon?" Ismaeel asked.
"It's pronounced Arthur," the boy said.
"Why the hell is there a W in that name then?" I asked.
"It's Welsh," Arthwr said. "My family is Wel-oh bugger."
"Khan, how should we react to that?" I asked.
"Twenty," Ismaeel said.
"Very well," I said. "Twenty push-ups, Fforde."
"Yes, ma'am," Arthwr said.
"Huang Lin," Ismaeel said.
"China," the blonde boy said.
"What leap of logic brought you there?" I asked.
"Well, he's Asian looking," the boy said.
"Is he right, Lin?" Ismaeel asked.
"No," Huang said.
"Well, then give us ten, Blondie, and zip the lip," I said. "Take it away, Lin."
"Kimigayo wa," Huang began. "Chiyo ni yachiyo ni."
"Vietnam," the dark girl said. Huang shook his head.
"Pushies, tramp, pushies," I said.
"Sazareishi no," Huang continued.
"Japan," Kasuumi said. Huang nodded.
"Maria Marquez," I said.
"I don't remember what I'm supposed to do," the dark girl said.
"Oh God, they would put the biggest grunt twit in my pod," I said. "You need to sing your national anthem."
"I don't know what my national anthem is," Maria said. "I come from Noveria."
"Spain," everyone chorused.
"No, I'm not Spanish," Maria said.
"Portuguese then," the blonde boy said.
"Yeah, that's right," Maria said.
"Pushies, Marquez, pushies," I said.
"Hassan Maseni," Ismaeel said.
"Qolobaa calankeed, waa ceynoo, Innaga keenu waa," Hassan sang. "Cirkoo kale ee."
"Egypt," Arthwr said. Hassan shook his head. Arthwr dropped down.
"Oon caadna lahayn," Hassan continued. "Ee caashaqaye."
"Sudan," the remaining girl said. Hassan shook his head.
Ismaeel rolled his eyes. "Somalia," he said.
"Yeah," Hassan said in relief.
"Khan, you're missing the point," I said.
"You know how many Arabic countries there were on the home-world?" Ismaeel asked. "We would have been here all day, and we still need to show them to the pod and take them to the assembly in the control centre."
"Whatever," I said. "Diego Montoyo. Did someone kill your father?"
"Huh?" Diego asked.
"You know, from The Princess Bride, one of the chara-never mind," I said.
"I'm from Skyllia," Diego said. "A group of batarians murdered my entire family."
"Oh," I said, blushing. "Uh, I'm sorry for your loss."
He glared at me and started singing. "Oíd, mortales, el grito sagrado: '¡Libertad! ¡Libertad! ¡Libertad!' Oíd el ruido de rotas cadenas ved en trono a la noble igualdad."
"Uruguay," Colin guessed. Diego shook his head and Colin dropped down.
A short, dark boy clicked his tongue. "Argentina," he said.
Diego nodded and dropped down.
"Padme Naidoo," Ismaeel said.
"Really?" Nicos asked. "With a name like that, you really want us to guess."
"I might surprise you," Padme said, smiling alluringly. "Who says my name means I come from where you think I do?"
"You're Indian, aren't you?" Hassan asked.
"Yeah," Padme said.
"Total shambles, as per usual," I said. "Naidoo, Anistropolus and Maseni, give me twenty each."
"Goddamnit," Nicos mumbled, dropping down.
"Alrighty then," Ismaeel said. "Geoffrey O'Connor."
The blonde boy stepped forward and cleared his throat.
"'I get knocked down, I get up again,'" he sang. "'Ain't never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down, I get up again-.'"
"America," Maria shouted.
"Gods, you're stupid," Kasuumi said. "Shep, please can I not get paired with her for anything."
"'Ain't never gonna keep me down,'" Geoffrey continued.
"Sweet Jesus boy, what are you doing?" I asked.
"What?" Ismaeel asked.
"That's a Chumbawamba song," I said. "One of my favourites, incidentally, but still definitely not the Irish national anthem."
"I'm on strike," Geoffrey announced.
"On strike for what?" I asked. "You only just got here."
"I'm against the Alliance," Geoffrey said. "I believe that everyone should have their freedom to privacy and their freedom to information and their freedom to say what they want. I'm also against the Alliance military."
"But you're with the Alliance military," Ismaeel pointed out. "What's the point of joining with the military if you're against it?"
"Because, if I can convince my fellows to side with me and leave the Alliance, then the Alliance might here our pleas," Geoffrey said earnestly.
"You're clearly cooked," I said. "Why don't you go run around the range twenty times and think exactly what you're trying to say." He folded his arms. "Now boy, before I order some of the less-caring seniors to give you a bog-wash, and don't for a moment think I'm bluffing."
He started walking leisurely around the range. I sighed. "Why are we letting people from the Terminus Systems in now?" I asked no one in particular. The Terminus Systems was a set of star systems that housed individuals who had left Council or their home-worlds' space, in an effort to forge it on their own. This system worked well as people were afforded more freedoms. However, they also had no military to protect them should the worst happen, and minor wars were often fought between the different worlds within these systems.
"Run, boy, or you stay here tonight," I shouted. "I don't mind, it'll give me time to catch up on my reading."
He glared at me, and eventually started running. "Right, then," Ismaeel said. "Jacques Sante."
An incredibly black boy stepped forward. "Zairois dans la paix retrouvee peuple uni, nous sommes Zairois en avant fier et plein de dignite," he sang. "Peuple grand, peuple libre a jamais tricolore enflamme nous du feu sacre pour batir notre pays toujours plus beau."
"Congo," Padme said boredly. The game was no longer fun.
"Pablo Videl," I said.
The final boy stepped forward and said nothing. "I thought we'd been through this," Ismaeel said. "You have to sing your national anthem."
"My national anthem doesn't have words," Pablo said.
"Spain," Diego said. "Everybody knows that their national anthem doesn't have words."
"I didn't know that," Maria said.
"That's probably because you don't appear to have much in the area of, well, brains," Colin said quietly.
"Well, now that that is finally out of the way, we need to take in your omnitools," I said. I held my hand up as eleven grunts opened their mouths in protest. "I don't want to hear ifs, I don't want to hear buts, I just want the omnitools."
"You probably noticed that omnitools don't work here," Ismaeel said as I went around with a box. "That's because the Alliance has kindly messed the satellite links up just enough for omnitool signals not to work."
"Yeah, the Alliance wants to control us in all ways," Geoffrey panted, running up to us. "That includes who we communicate with."
"Oh joy, he's back," I said. "Omnitool, bub. Don't make me ask again."
"You don't have to do this, you know," Geoffrey said. "You don't have to be the pawn of the controllers."
"Yeah, instead I can punch you in the nose," I said. "Now give me your damn omnitool, or I'm putting you on all-night stand-to. I think it would be the fastest time ever that a junior recruit gets put on stand-to."
He sighed and unstrapped his omnitool. "Good work," I said. "Come on Khan, let's show them home."
I'd naturally gotten used to the heat, but I could see one or two of the grunts staggered as they stepped outside. Ismaeel and I led the way across the compound to Pod 3.
"Welcome to hell," I said. "This place will be your castle for the next two years, so try to leave it in the same shit state you found it."
Ismaeel opened the door. "The mess hall," he said, pointing. "The food served there is occasionally edible, but I've never found it to be particularly tasty."
"The rec room," I said. "You are, under no circumstances allowed to piss on the furniture. Even if you're drunk."
"The senior dorm," Ismaeel continued with the tour. "You're only allowed in there if you're doing chores for us. Otherwise, go in there and we'll cut your heads off."
"And finally, the gruntling dorm," I said with a flourish, pushing the door to my old dorm open. "Now, your names have allegedly been written on the lockers next to your beds. Of course, if the dyslexic N1 has been here, you might find that you have been rechristened."
"'Drain?'" Kasuumi read in disgust.
"Hey, it says here I've been made a saint," Jacques called excitedly.
"'Anniestropeilous?'" Nicos sounded out. "Oh god."
"Yes well, you'll find your uniforms on your beds, along with toiletries and bedding," Ismaeel said. "Get changed, pack your things away and make your beds. Shep and I need to sort our own dorm out, and we expect you to be done when we get back."
"That sucked," I mumbled once the door was shut behind us.
"Yeah," Ismaeel said. "Trust us to get the fucking Terminus freak in our pod."
"I know," I said. I opened the senior dorm.
"Shep," Zac called.
Next thing I was flat on my back, someone blonde on top of me. "Ash," I gasped. "The lungs haven't miraculously cured themselves. I can't hold your weight up."
"I missed you so much," Ash laughed, getting up.
"We were separated for four weeks," I said. "It's not as if it was a lifetime or anything. You get too attached, woman."
I got up. "I know," Ash said. "It's just, Cape Town was so amazing, and I still had fun even though it rained every day, and you had sex."
"What?" Mikhail asked with interest.
"You had sex, Shep?" Bridget asked.
"Yeah," I said, blushing. "One night stand, you know how it is."
"Not really," Bridget said.
"I do," Suang said. "You had too much to drink and wake up next to a strange dude."
"Uh, sure," I said. "How was the rest of y'all summer?"
"Boring," Mikhail said.
"Sucked ass," Bridget said.
"Shitty," Zac said.
"Crap," Kyle said.
"Terrible," Suang said.
"It was summer?" Sven asked.
"Well, I had a good time," Ash said.
"You've discovered you have more relatives than you thought you did, what's not great about that?" Bridget asked.
"Just about everything, judging from my family," Ismaeel said.
"So what are the new grunts like?" Pierre asked.
"Hopeless for the most part, although we seem to be keeping with the tradition of the village idiot," I said.
"Friend for Mahlberg, huh?" Ash asked.
"Something like that," I said.
"We also have someone from the Terminus," Ismaeel said. "He's here to turn us against the Alliance."
"Oh for fuck sakes, we had finally turned this pod around, now we have to put up with this shit," Pierre groaned.
"Who's your 'we', Sonier, I don't recall you winning any medals for us," I said.
"Well, I was providing moral support," Pierre said. "Besides, nearly everyone who did win competitions has left the pod. We just have Williams and you left."
"So?" I asked. "Ash can easily win the hand-to-hand competition, and I may actually win the marksmanship competition, since I am the best marksman in this joint." I looked at the clock. "Khan, we need to go check on the grunts and kill them if necessary."
"So, another year has begun," Admiral Greyling said, raising his hands in a welcoming manor. "To our new recruits, welcome to Del Sol Academy. To our seniors, welcome back. Now, before we begin, let us take a moment of silence for the people who have died in the war on Skyllia."
I wondered if he began every year taking a moment of silence for someone who had died somewhere. He must really suffer in the years with low casualty rates. "And now, let us take a moment of silence for Old Man Johnson who died at the ripe old age of ninety eight. He died peacefully in his sleep and was surrounded by daughter Sue and son Dave, and twenty three grandchildren. He will be missed."
"Thank you," Admiral Greyling said. "Our thoughts go with their families as well as the families of those left homeless by the war. Now, it is time to welcome our instructors back. Firstly, weapons and armoury will be taken by myself, Admiral Peter Greyling." We gave our customary, lukewarm applause. I clapped particularly loudly. "Admiral Stephan Hackett will once again take reconnaissance." Lukewarm applause once more for the old man in the suit. "Admiral Tibbet Kahoku will be taking the junior recruits in combat and the senior recruits in combat tactics." We still weren't sure about Admiral Kahoku, but he had managed to get everyone to pass with one or less. We gave him lukewarm to warm applause. "Commander David Anderson will once again be giving you all fitness." Commander Anderson had never been particularly kind to any of us, yet we found ourselves screaming and applauding.
"So, you and Kaidan scored, huh?" Ash whispered in my ear as Admiral Greyling went on to introduce the rest of the trainers.
"Guess so," I whispered back.
"How was it?" she asked quietly.
I found myself grinning. "Really great," I murmured.
She smiled. "You're sure about Kaidan then?" she whispered.
"I suppose," I whispered.
She linked her arm through mine. "You're lucky," she said somewhat wistfully. "I was never sure of Pedro."
That night, after we had put the grunts to bed, we had to go for our physicals. No one was really certain why the physical had to be done at ten o'clock at night (no doubt it was thought up by some sadist out there with no wife and a lot of time). All the senior recruits had to wait in a line outside the med bay whilst we were thoroughly examined by Dr Du Pre, after which we had to go into the social worker's office to have a psych evaluation done by Elizabeth Fischer.
Kaidan was one of the first to be called in. When he was done, he came and sat next to Ash and me. "How are your grunts?" I asked.
"Awful," he groaned. "Such spoilt little shits. I swear, they're letting just about anyone into the marines these days."
"Well, they have to," I said. "We're severely short-staffed."
"I suppose," Kaidan said. "McDougal is no bloody help, she's a goddamned kiss-ass. How're your recruits?"
"Probably just as bad," I said. "Let's see, I have a kid from the Terminus systems, someone who doesn't even know her own national anthem, and Kasuumi Dranne."
"You have Kasuumi?" Kaidan asked in horror.
"Yep," I said. "I'm in for a fun year."
"You don't understand," Kaidan said. "Kasuumi hates you."
"Yeah, I got that sense," I said. "What exactly did you tell her about me?"
"Well, it's more that I never really shut up about you," Kaidan said. "Have you told Ash what we found?"
"Please, spare me the gory details," Ash mumbled.
"No, I haven't," I said. "I was thinking we should maybe meet up when we're done here."
"This had better not be sordid," Ash said.
I nudged her in the ribs.
Dr Du Pre was sitting behind his desk when I was called in. "Ah, Shepard," he said. "How are you doing?"
"Well, thank you sir," I answered, saluting.
"And the arm, is that doing well?" he continued.
"Yes sir," I said. "Although, it seems to have turned me into some sort of magnet. Anyone who sees the scar instantly backs away."
"Ah well, Shepard, you were lucky to survive."
"Not if I can't get a boyfriend, sir," I said.
He didn't seem to know how to respond to that, so instead he said, "Could you please remove your clothes and step onto the scale, Shepard?"
"No, I don't mind if there's no foreplay," I said, undoing my bootlaces.
"Pardon me?" he asked.
"Forget it," I mumbled.
"Well?" Ash asked when I re-emerged half-an-hour later.
"Clean bill of health," I answered. "Better yet, I've gained two pounds and my lungs are the best they've ever been."
"That's clean-living for you," Kaidan said.
"Yeah, but I suspect that if a ninety year old one-armed deaf man with the Rot and Luckhoff's Syndrome walked in there, he'd be given a clean bill of health," I said. "Elizabeth also says that I'm not insane, which is not quite the same as saying I'm sane, but there you are."
Ash was called in an hour later. By this stage it was half past one and everyone was wondering if we would get to bed before the rising siren.
"Healthy, but apparently still with the daddy-love issues," Ash said, coming out half an hour later.
"Surprised I haven't received that diagnosis," I said. "Let's blow this joint."
"Stop with the damn innuendos," Ash groaned.
Once in the empty room, Kaidan and I told her what we had learnt from Jean's datapad. "Alright, let me get this straight," Ash said, frowning. "The commander that disabled the sensors in December last year was the same commander that commanded the Hugo Grayson to land on Akresh last June?"
"Seems so," I said.
"And the computer that the command was sent from was this twenty first century computer?" she continued, pointing at the Dell.
"Yup," Kaidan said.
"Is there any way for us to find out if this was the computer that ordered the other ships to land?" Ash asked.
"No, the computer's memory has been wiped clean," Kaidan said.
"Kai reckons that whoever did this was a tech expert," I said.
"He knew how to do this without leaving any trace," Kaidan agreed. He hesitated. "Commander Anderson's a tech expert."
"He is?" I asked in amazement.
"His name's on the Grissom Academy hall of fame," Kaidan said.
"You were saying that he was speaking to Admiral Greyling about the fact that there might be a traitor in the Alliance," Ash said unwillingly to me. She liked Commander Anderson.
"Yeah," I said. "He seemed really convincing too."
"Exactly," Ash said. "Anyway, why would he say anything about a traitor? It'd give people ideas and whoever's doing this would prefer that no one suspected him."
"So you're saying that Commander McDougal's doing this?" Kaidan asked.
"Better him than Anderson," Ash mumbled.
"Look, all we have is a code, a computer and someone who's good at tech," I said. "That's hardly compelling proof to condemn someone. We need to keep looking. Maybe we'll get lucky and stumble across Commander Anderson or Commander McDougal's code."
It was strange waking up the next day and knowing that I would never be subject to the ritual torture that came from being a junior recruit. The trainers may still treat us like crap, but at least I would be the one doling out the torture. It felt good and strange at exactly the same time.
Ismaeel and I had to get up half-an-hour earlier so that we could urge the grunts out of bed. "I don't know why I agreed to this," Ismaeel mumbled as we walked to the showers.
"I personally never agreed to this," I said. "I just sort of went along with it."
We got dressed and were waiting outside the grunt dorm with two minutes to spare. "Are you ready to make twelve recruits' lives a living hell, Senior Recruit Khan?" I asked.
"Gladly, Senior Recruit Shepard," he answered.
The siren rang. We slammed the door open. "Wakey wakey, hands off snakey," I said gleefully.
The recruits groaned. "Come on, up you get," Ismaeel said. "You need to shower before breaking your fast."
Eleven shapes dragged themselves unwillingly from bed. The twelfth shape (which obviously belonged to Geoffrey) remained firmly in bed.
"Out of bed, O'Connor," Ismaeel said.
"I have the right to stay in bed as long as I like," Geoffrey said in a muffled voice from deep beneath his duvet.
"Yeah, and you have the responsibility to follow the rules of the organisation you are employed by," Ismaeel said. "On your feet now." Geoffrey remained stubbornly in bed.
Ismaeel dragged the covers from Geoffrey. "I don't think you want to show the galaxy how small your morning glory is boy," he said flatly. "On your feet now, or I will force you to take your boxers off."
"You can't do that," Geoffrey said.
"Try me," Ismaeel said in a quiet voice. "You have ten seconds."
Geoffrey glared stubbornly at Ismaeel, then dropped his gaze and got up. "Everyone to the showers," I said.
Geoffrey continued to make trouble throughout the day. At breakfast, he sat at the table next to where Ash, Bridget, Zac and I were sitting, and could be heard telling the others how out in the Terminus systems one could eat whatever one wanted. When Ismaeel and I took the grunts to have their hair cut, he said that he had the fundamental right to wear his hair in whatever fashion he wanted. The barber listened, unimpressed, then ordered him to do fifty push-ups whilst singing the Alliance national anthem.
After this I had to endure Dr Du Pre asking Kasuumi, Maria and Padme about their sexual practices, and was somewhat alarmed to hear that Kasuumi lost her virginity when she was twelve, and that Maria had been eleven.
"So, Shepard, I heard a rumour that you lost your virginity two days ago via one night stand," Dr Du Pre said as he was getting prescriptions out from his cupboard.
"Yes sir," I said impassively.
"No longer requiring masturbation to satisfy yourself?" he asked. The three girls looked at me. I ignored him.
We took them to see Admiral Kahoku next, who gave them pretty much the same speech Admiral Brawne had given us the year before, only he did it in a slightly less mechanical voice. Afterwards, the other junior recruits joined us in the gymnasium as we waited for Commander Anderson to show up.
"Sup," Kaidan whispered, joining Ismaeel and me.
"Alenko," Ismaeel mumbled. "How's Pod 6?"
Kaidan grimaced, but didn't answer. Commander Anderson walked in and silence fell instantly in the room.
"Shut up," he said unnecessarily. "Now, my name is Commander David Anderson and I have served in the Alliance Military for twenty one years. For the next two years I will be your fitness instructor, and you can ask any of the seniors, I am the most hated man in the academy. Now then, Ken, I've ridden you hard the past year."
"Metaphorically speaking, yes sir," I said.
"Of course I mean metaphorically boy, do I look like a fucking turian?" he snapped.
I decided not to push my luck on the first day back. After all, I was an officer and needed to set an example to the other recruits.
"Couldn't say sir," I said.
"Don't push your luck, Ken, it's only your first day back," Commander Anderson growled. "Please tell the fresh meat what my five rules are."
"Sir," I said. "Rule number one: speak when spoken to. Rule number two: you may only stop doing an exercise when you're on the verge of death. Rule number three: if you hesitate when the commander or I give you an order, you will drop for ten without us having to tell you to. Rule number four: the commander expects to see you improve or else he will be seriously fucking pissed, and believe him when he says, you don't want to see that. Rule number five: if the commander says you can do better, you probably can because he is more experienced or something."
"Not bad, Ken, but you mucked rule number three up somewhat," Commander Anderson said. "Now, I will be seeing Pod 1 and 2 from 0500 hours to 0700 hours, Pod 3 and 4 from 0800 to 1000 hours, and Pod 5 and 6 from 1000 hours to 1200 hours. Any questions? Dismissed."
He left the room before anyone had time to raise their hands.
"Well, I'll see you later," Kaidan said gloomily. "Come on, you rat faces," he shouted at his recruits.
I was somewhat nervous for the BOL ceremony. The grunts seemed somewhat lacklustre and I was scared that they might let the academy and, by extension, the Alliance down.
As if. I couldn't really give a turian's left nut for the Alliance, but I was scared that this BOL ceremony might go the same way as my BOL ceremony, with me calling a grunt by the name of his slash her dead twin. Therefore, I spent a lot of time making sure that I had all the right names written on my datapad.
"You worry too much," Ash said. "It's bad for you."
"Really?" I asked sarcastically. "I never knew that."
She clicked her tongue at me. "You didn't really get a break," she said. "The last time you took some time for yourself was after we won the roundrobin, and that's ages ago." I rolled my eyes. "You know what we should do during December week?" she continued as I practiced pronouncing Jacques' name right.
"Get roaring drunk, do a striptease, table dance, get matching tattoos and end the night with a drag race up the freeway?" I asked.
"As fun as that sounds, I was thinking more along the lines of going shopping for our graduation ball dresses," Ash said.
I put the datapad down. "Ash, you have known me for five years now, so you should know that dress shopping is not the way to cheer me up," I said.
"Ja, but you need a dress," Ash said. "I mean, you're a Pod 3 officer, so you need to attend, and besides you've got a date, so you'll want to look your best."
"Already have a date to the dance, Shep?" Suang asked.
I scowled at Ash. "Yeah," I said.
"Who is it then?" Zac asked.
"Um, some dude I met in, uh, Tiptree," I said.
"Does he have a name?" Mikhail asked.
"Yeah, it's mind your own business you Polish creep," I snapped.
"Alright, steady on, Shep," Mikhail, the Polish creep, said.
To my relief, the BOL ceremony went without a hitch. Of course, the grunts' war-cry was less-than-inspired, but at least it happened. Nobody's name was mispronounced or replaced by those of dead relatives. Naturally, Pod 6's grunts looked and sounded the best, but everyone was long past living up to Kaidan's standards.
Or at least that's what I thought until I walked past the two Pod 2 officers who were sobbing into each other's shoulders.
"What the hell is going on around here?" I asked.
"We will never be as good at this sort of thing as Alenko and McDougal," the woman, who was about six foot tall, wailed.
"What, shouting 'who's like us'?" I asked.
"Well, yeah, but also leading the grunts," the boy, who had arms thicker than my body, sniffed. "The Pod 6 grunts looked so…beautiful."
What the hell? "Why would you want to be like Kaidan and McDougal?" I asked blankly. "Kaidan's a psychopath. McDougal's a bitch."
"Yeah, but the way you lead now impacts where you are posted next year," the boy said.
"I just know I'm going to be posted to Home Defence, I just know it," the girl sobbed.
"That's nothing to be ashamed of," I said. "Earth needs soldiers to defend it against…fires and stuff."
They both burst into a fresh wave of tears, so I left them to it. I couldn't help thinking about what they had said though, and wondering where I would be posted once I had graduated. Of course, the worst would be to be made N1 and forced to work in administration. I had no real desire to go to war, but I wanted to get a reward for surviving training that was more than staring at a terminal all day. Being N2 was just as bad, as nothing ever happened on Earth that warranted having soldiers posted there. They were mainly posted to Earth in case something happened (like an alien species deciding that it wanted to build a colony on a world with three habitable cities, ten semi-habitable areas, a destroyed ozone layer and oceans made of acid). Most N2s ended up either going mad or (for some random reason) becoming chess champions.
N3s and N6s were posted to the fleet, which was ideally where I wanted to end up. I had grown up in the fleet and felt most at home in space. N4s and N5s all went into colony defence, which was apparently the most comfortable designation as you got a fair amount of action, but also had a comfy bed and three square meals a day to return to.
Back in the rec room Geoffrey was telling everyone exactly what was wrong with the Alliance (viz, controlling what we're allowed to eat, say, and watch, developing mass effect drive so that we were able to travel faster and better in space, the First Contact War, the war on Skyllia, the third world war, banning civilians from possessing firearms, and the colonisation of planets). I put him on twelve hour stand-to and went to bed.