A warm cloak enveloped her as she exited the Chamber. For few minutes, she was unaware of anything and so aware of his presence. He alone stood out. His grim face outlined by stubble as he led her to a set of rooms. A second glance around told her that it was her previous squire chambers. A small part of her jumped with glee that no one had tarnished the memories in that room by staying in it.

She still said nothing as he got up and about to set a fire, make tea with the utensils they had left behind in the room, and hum a sad tune the soldiers sing when a loved one has died. He knew. Any chance between them had died, and he knew it. Whether or not he chose to believe it was still unknown to her.

He brought her over to the front of the fire, and they sat down side by side enjoying the warm drink.

She couldn't stand the silence anymore. "It's not that –"

"Are you giving me an excuse?" he asked incredulously.

"It's not an excuse," she replied back vehemently.

"Then why," he turned towards her, "are you going against everything we have. I love you. I know you love me no matter how much you deny it. It's just duty that separates us. That's not a good enough reason, and you know it!"

"It's not just duty, Jon. There is so much more behind this. And duty is a big thing. We owe it to these people. We swore we would help them, not put them in a horrible position."

"Care to elaborate, mistress all knowing? Do you have such low self esteem as to think you would put the country in ruin? Have you no faith in all that you do. You're a Lady Knight! There's nothing you cannot do."

"I cannot marry you! The country will be destitute with me on the throne. I will not be a Lady Knight any longer while I am still Queen. For goodness sake, Jonathan! I am too young to be tied down." She pulled at loose strings trying to find a way to not fall to her desire.

"I am young as well, and I do not shirk my role. We get more freedom than you think we do. Just because my father and mother refused to leave their confines in the palace does not mean we have to." She dragged her eyes away from his steel hold on her to look towards the flames.

"I cannot. You must understand. My temper, decisions, and unorthodox ideas will put this country to ruin. I will drag us all down. We cannot rule this country while many of our ideas coincide. The Conte blood runs in you, which means you will not step far from tradition." She shook her head sadly as tears slipped from her eyes. "I am far from tradition, and I am not worthy of this role."

"You are as every bit worthy as Thayet! I cannot lose you. I need you. I cannot live like this." His agony pierced her and she sobbed silently taking in his consent of love. "Please, you cannot do this to me. Does this country mean more to you than me?"

"Jon," she choked. "You know I care for you, but I swore I would take care of this country first." She could feel her will waver as the light from the fire showed her his track of tears. "We both swore Jonathan. We swore," she whispered. Grasping for his hand, she sought it and brought it close to her heart. He moved in closer and wiped away her tears. The love and adoration filling those eyes forced her to bite her lip to control the fresh batch of tears willing to spill over.

"I love you. My heart beats to keep you alive. Marry Thayet. I will watch over all your children as if they were my own. I love you desperately but we can't be together with the jobs we have. I don't want you to think that I would ever deny our love. I was young and foolish and did not see what was in front of me. I had not seen how deep our relationship goes. I know now from every mistake I've made that what we have is what keeps us going. It's impossible to deny what we have."

"Then why go against it?" His pleading expression nearly broke her resolve.

"I'm so sorry. I truly am sorry. Please understand why. Please do this for me. For me…" She couldn't handle it. The emotion overtook her as she freely sobbed. Although he brought her into his embrace, she wouldn't relinquish her hold on his hand. It was her last opportunity of being open to him before he was another's, and she refused to let this moment end now.

They sat for a while in their embrace. Even when the dawn broke out and the fire dimmed, she refused to let them get up and face the reality – he would be a married man in just a mere five hours. Every moment they shared, every token of love given, every fight, just everything about them, she remembered in those hours. Those were the hours she would never forget. Even when she would watch the vows he and Thayet would take, it was this moment of reflection that would hold her steady and let him go for the last time.