I haven't started the chapter yet when I'm writing this. But I think it's only this chapter and then one more chapter left.

"And the winners are…."

Zoe Gallagher- one of the judges who were at this dancing competition now stood at the front of the stage. The other two judges, Keira and Augustus Rosaria stood on either side of her and along the stage it was crowded with people of the five teams that had been chosen as the best ones. Including us from the dumping ground, and a group from a school about an hour away if I'd remembered it right.

And now our team stood on one side, and the one from the school at the other. There were two other teams but…

"…THE PHOENIXES."

"YES."

For me it took a few moments to understand that we had actually won. After just a few weeks of practicing, and some hating on the school's team we actually did it. And Jody's shout was the loudest out of all. Before she took the trophy and then handed it to me.

"This is thanks to you Maya. You should hold it for the photo."

"You're only winning because people pity you."

Before I knew it we were back in the hallway behind the stage. The school's team had come second which certainly wasn't bad. But not good enough for Jamie Conrad or their coach and I saw a lot of the other people of the team sending hateful glares towards our direction. But Jamie was the one who made her voice heard above everybody else's.

"What?"

"Oh you heard me very well." Jamie looked as hateful as ever looking straight at me and slowly came walking closer while every phoenix and every member of the school's team silent and turned towards her. "I said- you only won because people pity you. And why wouldn't they? On one team you have Scarface." She glared as hatefully as ever towards me and then glanced at Chloe. "And miss Cripple…"

"Hey." Suddenly I had Ryan too by my side. "Don't you dare call my sister something like that."

"Or what?" Jamie snorted. "You're all a bunch of care kids. Why would I be afraid of you? Hey Ryan?" She blinked, flirting towards Ryan and threw with her head so Ryan had to take a step back not to get her long, blonde hair right in his face. "What?"

Ryan only glared back towards Jamie. She may be thinking he was the best thing under the sun or something. But that didn't mean he would give in to her and she certainly hadn't helped herself calling his sister a cripple.

Which she seemed to be realizing.

"Well then." She threw with her head again so her hair fell down towards her back again. "I don't time to stand here anyway But whether you believe it or not. We all know it. You only won because the judges as everybody else pity you."

"HEY." I heard behind you, turned my head and found Augustus Rosario- one of the judges. "That's not true." He came closer and faced Jamie. "If you want to know. I, my sister and Zoe all loved the Phoenixes' performance. If this… care kids part is true…" He glanced towards me and I nodded. "Well. We didn't even know about it so we certainly didn't use that. But more than just the dancing steps and nice moves count when we go through all the teams and who should be the winners. You lot, had some obstacles…" He glanced towards Chloe. "But instead of putting her or another member out of the group you made something out of it and it turned into something beautiful. Maybe all in your group didn't have the best dance moves or techniques. There was one mistake here, another one there- but you just continued as if nothing happened. And that…" Augustus turned back up to Jamie who looked as if she was about to kill someone. "Is worth more than any perfect pirouettes or nice technique."

It wouldn't have surprised me if smoke had started bursting out of Jamie's ears as she stomped her foot like a five- year- old. Her face was bright red as she pouted angrily and everyone of the dumping ground AND the judges had stood up against her.

She was used to getting her own way…

I didn't want to see what happens next.

I backed away slowly and hoped no one would follow me. Coming to the point where the hallway split in two like a hallway like a crossroad I looked around and made sure nobody followed me. Before I opened the first door I knew there was a mirror dance room behind and slipped into it and closed the door behind me.

I'd never know what made me do it. But at that moment something seemed clear, I pulled up my phone from my pocket. Plugged it into a speaker and put a song on before I got onto the middle of the floor and started dancing.

Regrets collect like old friends

I barely even knew what I was doing, all of a sudden I was just moving. I didn't notice the music or that I was moving to the rhythm. All that I knew was in my own head and the music around me.

I certainly didn't notice anybody else coming into the room and started watching me.

Flashback

"AND UP NEXT. THE PHOENIXES."

When Augustus Rosario shouted into the speakers only one lamp above the stage was turned on.

The one over the middle of the stage. Chloe had sat down on the floor and pushed herself over the floor as good as she could until she sat right under the late before the rest of the lights over the stage were turned on and we all- dressed in yellow, red and orange made our way out on the stage.

When I'd stopped on my spot there was a split moment before the music started. And before it did, as discreetly as I could I gazed over the whole audience. Or what little I could see of them in the dark.

Somewhere in all of that sat my father. Way too near me for the first time in years.

And after the last time I'd met him I'd had so many OCD's about food I'd turned to binging and purging so how on earth would this time go? When I was supposed to do what mattered to me the most.

With the people that mattered to me the most.

Then the music started.

And I took every chance, every move, every beat of the rhythm.

Maybe if I got it all right I could at least pretend my father thought I did well.

At that moment I'd just forgotten there was nothing I could do that he wouldn't be able to complain on or snort at or… or just use to show that I was worthless and ugly and fat and…

Right now I just needed to keep dancing.

End of flashback

I didn't wake up from my strange unconsciousness until the very last tone of the song had rang out. And then I noticed that a lot of people had come into the room.

There were everyone from the dumping ground including Mike and May- Li, there were a few members of the other teams. Including Jamie Conrad and a few of the girls from school including their coach. The one that had denied me a place on their team when she saw what I looked like…

…And then at last, my father. The two guards behind him on both sides, and a smirk on his face.

"Well, well." The guards reacted when my dad was the only one who said anything but I raised my hand to show them it was okay. "Come on. I don't need a baby sitter alright? I don't need a baby sitter to talk to my own daughter."

I could hear a gasp from the direction of the school's team and saw Jamie with a hand over her mouth and staring from me, to dad, back to me…

"Come on girls." Miss Donoghue seemed in a rush to get away all of a sudden. "Get out, Jamie- you too."

Mike sent me a reassuring look. But I wasn't done and I just knew it. I needed to say something to my father- I needed to find something that hurt. Something that would bother him and help him…

…The thing I had to say popped in my mind. Without smiling, smirking, pouting or anything else with my expression I looked dad straight into the eyes. Those evil eyes I had seen countless times in my nightmares.

But this was for real.

Even though when I said what I needed to it almost felt like it wasn't me.

"I forgive you."

"What?" My dad spat and turned around again laughing. I woke up from my weird half- conscious state and took a deep breath. "What did you say?"

"I said I forgive you."

SMACK!

Dad had slapped me before neither I nor the guards had had the time to react. They had taken a step back at the moment I showed them it was okay. Now I had proved to them it wasn't so simple. But before I had had the time to say anything or in any way react before either of the guards had taken each of his arms and had put him in handcuffs.

"That wasn't very smartly done was it?" One of the guards asked him when dad moaned. "Now come on. I think you've done enough."

"NO." I shouted. "I have more to say."

Mike gave me a nod from behind dad. The school's team had walked away but I didn't have anything against the ones from the dumping ground seeing and hearing this. I would have shouted it out to the whole world if I could.

"Now come on then." Dad snorted. "Or are you coward?"

Here goes nothing…

When I finally started talking it was almost all in one word. The words just wouldn't stip rolling out of me.

"You're not worth me. You're not worth my time. You're not worth to be called a father… Nicholas… But I forgive you. I forgive you for killing mum and for trying to kill me. And I can do that because I'm a damn better and bigger person than you are."

"Your mother died in a car crash."

"After you broke the brakes and my toddler car seat. And that before you fed me peanuts and cut my whole arm up. And then threw a bucket of boiling oil at me… But I forgive you."

"All of those were accidents caused by you."

"Just keep on telling yourself that." My tone was cold and monotone. I was afraid if I tried anything else I'd start crying. "Maybe one day you'll actually believe it." Dad smirked but he was obviously insecure. "Have a great life… So will I… Because I'm letting go of the past and I… I forgive you."

What felt like the hundredth time said those three words I knew it was true. And I knew it was the last time in very, very long if ever I spoke to him.

"Now come on." The guard behind him said as the both led him towards the door and out of my sight- I didn't protest this time. And father didn't say a word. I gave one glance towards everybody else from the dumping ground before I turned and looked myself in the mirror.

"Come on kids. We'll go wait in the van." May- Li and the others went out of the room but I saw each of them in the mirror turning around to look at me and Mike. And he didn't move his arm from around my shoulders. "You guys just… take your time."

I swallowed yet another time while May- Li kicked away the door stop and let the door fall closed behind her. But it was about the millionth time during the last thirty seconds and when the door clicked behind the last person of the dumping ground and I watched myself in the mirror, my vision was soon blurred by the tears rising and then streaming down my cheeks.

I hadn't hugged a person in ages at all. And as far as I could remember I hadn't had another person put their arms around me in that special way that made it feel like they could protect me against all of bad there was in the world.

But right now Mike did hold me like that.

Right now tears streamed down my cheeks and into Mike's shirt as he held me tight.

"I won't ever talk to him again will I?"

I got it out at last. But I wasn't so sure if I cried more for that reason. For the reason that I didn't get to have a parent there when I came home from school. That I never had a parent who came to my classes and sat in the audience and cheered. I never had a parent to fight with, to help with my homework…

…To come with me to the hospital.

"Mike?"

"Yes?"

"Can you come with me to the hospital tomorrow?"

My voice sounded weirdly squeaky from the crying. Even more than what I had expected or wanted it to. And the first thing I wanted to do was to apologize for sounding so begging and trying to manipulate him.

But my voice was silent behind more sobs and snivels…

"Of course I will. Don't worry about that."

Song
The song for the show- Phoenix- Molly Sanden
Maya dancing- Shake it out- Florence and the machine (glee cast cover)

Random fact

The titles for the chapters twelve and thirteen came from the song used in the chapter, the one that Maya danced to. And it was actually listening to it that gave me the idea to write this chapter. I hope you liked it.