A/N Hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates but school has started and im in my final year so priorities and shiieeet.
Also not a lot of bechloe interaction but theres a lot of detail into chloes life i suppose. Hope you enjoy xx

"What do you mean its already been paid for?" I ask mocking his gruff voice

He looks at me confused "I mean, that Beca girl already paid for it"

I sigh and pinch my brow "That can't be right"

He shakes his head "No, it's right. She paid in advanced"

"Well how much did it cost?" I ask in irritation

He holds his finger up while he walks over to the file cabinet; he opens it up and skims through the folders until he finds the one he was looking for "Ah here we are..." he looks at the name "Chloe Beale right?"

I nod "Yep"

He opens it "So with the new part which came from the original car dealer and the other parts-"

"Wait what other parts?" I interrupt "There was only one part that needed replacing"

"Uhhh your girlfriend was it?"

I nod

"Uh yeah well she came down about 2 days ago to check the progress, we didn't have the part yet so I just showed her where the part would go and stuff… she seemed to know quite a lot, she asked me if I had any recommendations about any of the other parts.. and my professional opinion was that there were a few other parts that could do with a clean or replacement but nothing that would be a severe problem anytime soon… but she insisted I replace them all"

"So how'd you get those parts in on time?" I ask sceptically

"Well most of them we had in stock already" he replies unfazed by my challenging gaze.

I tilt my head in thought "So it cost a little more?"

"Well yeah, about $375 for all of it" he answers closing the file

My jaw drops "What?!"

He looks at me a little bit startled by my change in tone "Uhhhh, yeah … it was actually discounted as well"

I run my hand through my hair "It was?"

"Yeah, she seemed like a nice girl just trying to do something sweet for her girlfriend, thought I'd help her out y'know" he says putting the file back in the cabinet and shutting it

"Oh… uh thanks I guess" I say scratching the back of my neck

He smiles endearingly "No problem" he hold out a set of keys "here ya go"

I take them "thanks again… Brian"

He smiles with a nod and heads into the backroom.

I unlock the car and sit in the drivers seat, I put the keys in the ignition. I turn the key and I hear the flawless roar of the engine.

I click in my seatbelt and head out of the garage, my head shaking in disbelief, sighing deeply.

"Thanks for letting me stay a couple more days Nan" I say quietly as I hug the shorter woman

"No need to thank me Chlo, you're always welcome" she replies rubbing my back affectionately

I pull back "I hope I wasn't too much of a hassle, y'know with dad and everything"

She tuts and shakes her head "No no, David was the hassle not you."

I give her a lopsided, appreciative grin "I love you y'know Nan" I declare as open the door and stroll out of the front entrance

She smiles lovingly "I know and I love you too Sweetie" she returns, halting at the threshold.

I look down at my car where my Uncle Ethan and Dani are putting my luggage in the boot.

"Back to school I guess" I ponder out loud.

"Only a little longer and then you can focus on bringing me some more grandkids" she jokes… sort of.

"Yeah, maybe" I utter, as I think of that part of my future, my face clearly showing my emotions

"Be patient with her Chlo" my Nan advises putting her hand on my shoulder

I shrug "Patience isn't really my forte"

She pats my shoulder affectionately "No, its not. Being happy, resilient and bubbly is your forte and those are the exact reasons Beca fell in love with you"

I shake my head smiling "You always know what to say Nan"

She smiles "It comes with age but you better get going dear, you're already behind schedule"

I laugh at her under-exaggeration "Yeah, like 3 days behind"

She chuckles with me "Call me when you arrive home Chicka-boo" she tells as I make my way down the porch stairs

I reply over my shoulder "Ok, bye Nan!"

As I reach my car, Dani closes the boots door. My uncle has his arms open, I walk into his embrace "It was nice seeing you again Uncle Ethan" I murmur into his shoulder

He kisses me on the head "You too squirt, now go get that teaching degree!"

I laugh at his enthusiasm "I'll definitely try" I say pulling out of the hug

"and try and get your girl back at the same time yeah? she was good for you Chlo" he adds, putting his hand on my shoulder reassuringly

I nod "I'll keep you posted" I reply, smiling sadly.

He pats me on the shoulder once more before heading up to the house "Drive safe!" he yells from the porch

I turn to face my younger cousin "Welp, I guess I'll talk to you later D" I voice as I lean on the car

She nods slightly "Yeah I guess"

I pull her in for a hug she hugs back tightly "Don't give up on getting her back yeah? She deserves some space but don't let her get away"

I hug her tighter "I wont"

She releases the hug "Call me when you hear what's up yeah?"

I nod with a forced smile "only if you promise to give Jess another chance? She's not a bad person y'know"

She nods as she takes a step back up the driveway "I know, I know. Just like you aren't… so I'll message you later Chlo"

I nod with a small wave "Laters D" I open my door and plop into the seat

Dani waits at the top of the driveway until I can't see her in the rear view mirror..

Barden University

I drag my luggage in through my front door, I throw my handbag on the table as I try to drag suitcase down the hall way.

"Aubrey I'm home" I announce not really bothering with any enthusiasm

I leave my bags in front of my room as I go in search of my blonde roommate. "Bree?"

I walk into the poorly lit living room, everything is just the same as when I left. Warmth, light and sound are leaking from the kitchen.

I hear quiet chattering and the occasional giggle, since when did Aubrey giggle?

I tip toe around to the entryway, I slowly peek my head around the corner…

"Chloe" Aubrey breathes as she gets out of her seat

My eyes are still fixed on the person sitting at our small dinner table "Uh yeah, hey Bree" I reply, dragging my eyes away from the brunette

"I didn't think you were going to be home so early?" she half states, half asks as she hugs me

"Uh yeah, I thought driving would take my mind off things, so I left a couple hours earlier than planned" I explain, returning the hug to my best friend "I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

Aubrey looks at the brunette and then me "Oh no, no. Stacie and I were just going over some Bella stuff"

I nod my head slowly "Okkk?" I drawl in confusion.

"I should go, you guys should catch up" Stacie declares, standing up.

I shake my head "No, no its fine Stace.. I'm a bit tired anyway"

Both Aubrey and Stacie look at me confused "Are you sure Chlo? Because Stacie and I could just meet up another time"

I wave them off "it's fine, I'm just going to- uh head to bed." I assure, turning around and walking out the archway "Have fun!" I teases in a sing song sort of manner

I hear them continue talking as I walk through the living room, I ignore my bags and head straight into my room. I turn the light on and sigh, time to get back to life I guess.

I take my shoes off and throw them in a corner, I take off my jeans and replace them with sweatpants. I turn the lamp on and on my way out of my room I turn the light off.

I walk to the front door and grab my bag off the small side table, I find my phone in its usual spot and make my way back to my room. I can feel the fatigue slowly taking over as I sit on the edge of my bed. I remove the sweater I am wearing and throw it in the general direction of my basket.

I move back so that my back is leaning against the headboard, I pull the covers over my legs and unlock my phone.

I text Dani telling her that I got home ok and that she should tell my nan. I also check my social media sites, I see nothing that really interests me until I see something on Facebook

Jesse Swanson shared a video with Beca Mitchell

I look at the information of the video and it's some sort of indie band I guess, Jesse writes Dude, we totally need to go see them when they tour!

Beca comments: Maybe

Jesse replies: You can't just hide away with your laptop Becaw, you need to get some fresh air and some vitamin D

Beca responds: Wait, there's life beyond my room?

That response gets more likes then anything. But what really catches my attention is the fact that Beca is hiding away in her room.

I mean, yeah she used to do it a lot before but that was a usual amount for her and no one ever commented on it. Beca wasn't anti-social and she used to work out on the quad so why is she all of a sudden 'hiding away'

Maybe I'm just over analysing.

There's a quiet knocking on the door "Chlo?" Aubrey says as she cracks open the door

"Hm?" I acknowledge

"You ok?" she asks stepping in the room

I shrug "I'm alright"

She strolls over to the other side of my bed where she sits down mirroring my position. "You know, people make mistakes right?"

I shrug at her cliché statement "Some mistakes are mistakes" I retort trying to make sense of it myself

She looks over at me with her are-you-kidding-me eyes "Chloe."

I exit my social media sites and lock my phone before giving my attention to my best friend "I just need to give her some time and space y'know"

Her face softens "I get it"

I place my phone on the bedside table before I lie down resting my head on my hand and facing Aubrey "Soooooooooo Stacie hey?"

Her face goes neutral "I have no idea to as of what you are referring to, she just came over to help me with some Bella stuff"

I make a face which tells her that I'm not buying her shit "Since when did you ever need help with 'Bella Stuff'?"

She glances at me "Touche"

I chuckle "But seriously Bree, there's nothing wrong with liking Stacie"

She sighs "I know, I know"

I remember something that may be the issue "Is it Jesse?"

She looks at me confused "What?"

"Remember when you and Jesse nearly had that thinnggg?" I ask cautiously

She looks straight ahead "We did not have a thing"

I smile at her complete denial of that situation "Alright, alright"

She continues "Even if we did, we couldn't. He's a Treble also… I can't get past the whole romantic, I-want-my-life-to-be-like-a-movie thing… eurgh"

I shake my head and raise my hand in confusion "Exactly! So what's the problem? Why can't you like Stacie?"

She gives in "I do like her!" she blurts unintentionally "but, I don't know if I want to… you know? Like we all know what kind of reputation she has" she explains with a truly conflicted expression

I look her with an unflinching gaze "What do you want?"

She narrows her eyes "Not that again"

"It works doesn't it?" I ask waiting for the answer I know I'll get

She sighs "Yeah it does, that's why it's so annoying"

"C'mon Bree, just answer or at least attempt" I prod as I poke her leg encouragingly

She looks down at me and exhales, frustrated probably at herself "I don't know Chlo, I do want to try with Stac but like…. I-I'm sorta…"

"Scared?" I finish for her

She nods shamefully "What if I'm no different, what if I'm just one of the notches in her bed post?"

I scratch my head and sigh "Well then, I guess I'd have to kill her" I joke

That earns me a small chuckle from her "Funny. So now I guess you're just going to tell me to go get what I want"

I nod with a smug look on my face "stole the words right out of my mouth"

She sighs "I'll think about it"

I lay on my back "Don't think, that will cause you to overanalyse… and we all know how that ends"

She nods confidently "I'll text her later"

I smile as I close my eyes "Good"

I feel her move into my previous position; I can sense her looking at me pointedly. I take a deep breath before turning my head to look at her

"What?"

"You're good at giving advice Chlo, maybe you should take some of your own" she suggests shrugging

I direct my eyes towards the ceiling "Shit things happen to shit people" I sigh under my breath

There's a moment of silence, and suddenly she hits me in the arm shockingly hard "Snap out of it Chloe!" she shouts

I hold my arm in pain "What the fuck!? That fucking hurt" I cry out. I never knew she could hit that hard

"Yeah?!" she asks

I nod furiously "Yeah, it did!" I answer truthfully

She hits me again, harder.

"OW!?" I yelp as she looks at me with determination "What the fuck Bree?!"

"That hurts right? But how does it feel now?" she asks slightly calmer

I look at her like she's insane "What does that have to do with anything—"

"Just tell me." she interrupts

I sigh and try to focus on what she is asking. I take my hand off my arm and feel that it's sort of throbbing or pulsating "It's throbbing"

She nods "Good. Now tell me, when Beca caught you with Jess what did you feel?" she asks

I don't have to think about what she's asking "I felt my heart hammering into my chest"

"Exactly." She says "Its you're body's way of reminding you that you are still alive….Then what did you feel when you realised she was gone" she questions

I think about it, after my panic attack "numb, I made myself numb by drinking"

She nods "You drank to make it numb?"

I nod in confirmation

She raises an eyebrow and then waits a few moments

"How does your arm feel?"

I focus my attention on my arm. You know that numb sort of feeling that you get when you get punched.. The feeling that doesn't last very long? Yeah that's the feeling I have right now "It's numb…" I utter dumbstruck

She nods "Yeah its numb. Chloe, the pain you feel in your heart, is similar to physical pain sometimes. The way your heart throbs in your chest reminds you that you're still living and that what you cannot believe, is actually reality. The numbness, although you brought it on yourself, sometimes it just happens. You couldn't process what was happening and neither could your body."

I take on what she's saying, while gently rubbing my arm. I can feel the numbness fading

"It might take a little longer when it's your emotions but soon the numbness will fade and then there will be some pain" she says sighing "And I think that's what you're going through"

I touch my arm as you do when you get injured and a small jolt of pain makes me blink. Aubrey notices and says "and there's the pain" she sits up and kisses me on the head "I think you should get some sleep and tell me how that feels in the morning yeah?" she asks as she gets out of my bed

She walks over to the door "You have a weird way of giving advice" I express, eyes narrow.

She laughs "It works doesn't it?" she replies with a knowing smile on her lips

I roll my eyes "Go away" I say good-naturedly

She smiles "Night Chlo"

"Night" I mutter as I turn my lamp off

I hear the door click as I turn on my side and close my eyes. I can feel the dull pain coursing the area where she hit.

I take Aubrey's metaphor into account, the dull pain is like how I am constantly feeling. It isn't overwhelming and I can bear it.

I press down on the sore spot eliciting a wince. Now that was a little more painful, me pressing down on the pain is like the mention of Beca or anything to do with her or what I did. It draws more ache, more grief.

I guess I'm not the only one good with advice in this apartment

I fall asleep thinking of past painful experiences and the connection to the metaphor. Great thing to fall asleep to right?

The Next Morning

"Morning" I say as I walk into the kitchen showered, dressed and done up.

Aubrey turns away from the task at hand "Morning"

I open the fridge to have just a genereal look around "How's the arm?" she asks, a playful tone woven into the question

I look over the fridge door "Bruised"

Her face brightens "Really?! Let me see" she laughs as she takes a step towards me

I close the fridge and step back "no, no no"

She looks at me questioningly "why not?"

I raise both eyebrows "Why not? Because I will not allow you to see the end result of your doings. You're like a serial killer, you get a weird pleasure from seeing you're masterpiece even though the methods of doing so are evil"

She stares at me with disbelief "I am nothing like a serial killer, I punched you in order for you to see your own solution"

"My solution is a bruise?" I ask genuinely confused

She sighs "I don't know, it got you thinking right?"

I give in to her superior logic, I sigh "Fine" I pull down one of the cardigan shoulders and remove the sleeve, I turn my arm to her suggestively.

She laughs gloriously "Oh my god, I did that?!" she says lifting my arm in examination

I nod "Yeah, I told you it hurt!" I say flinching when she brushes her finger over the large purple and blue mark

"I am soo sorry" she says while laughing, not making me believe a word she says

"No you're not" I say pulling up my sleeve "and you shouldn't be. You're right, it did make me think"

She smiles victoriously "Yes!"

I roll my eyes and go back to searching for food "Did you get that metaphor from like your Psychology class or something?"

She picks up her cup of coffee and blows onto it "Nope, I made it up on the spot"

I look at her suspiciously "no way"

She shrugs "I did, I really just punched you because I hate when you go all sad and mopey"

"I'm allowed to be sad and mopey! I cant be happy all the time" I reply

She nods "I know, that's why I let you be sad but when it gets to the point where you begin to question the quality of the person you are? Then I'm gonna step in and tell you to snap out of it"

"I wasn't questioning the quality o-" I retort

She raises both eyebrows stopping me from wanting to continue "Really? Here's a quote from the infamous Chloe Beale Shit things happen to shit people"

I shrug "It's the truth Aubrey, I let someone else kiss me while I was technically still on a date with the person I love! Like I'm so fucking dumb sometimes, I used to wonder why I went through all that shit as a kid, if I deserved it or not… but now I know I did"

"Shutup Chloe! Do not do that to yourself! Yes you made a mistake and you did the wrong thing by letting that happen but your mother and brother didn't pass away because you made one mistake. That is literally the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

I drop my head in shame

She takes a deep breathe and continues in a calmer voice "I'm sorry for yelling and being slightly aggressive and what you are feeling isn't invalid, its understandable but seriously Chlo, Shit things happen to everyone. Don't let this whole situation make you question the quality of the person you are. You are by FAR the best person I know and if this whole thing is going to make you doubt that. Then fuck yeah I'm going to punch you, I'll punch whoever is making you think twice about that and right now, that person is you"

I lift my head from its position of shame, I raise my eyebrows, slightly stunned. "You're just full of surprises"

She sips at her coffee nonchalantly and shrugs. I go to thank her or to tell her how much I appreciate her advice but I'm interrupted by a knock on the front door.

"Who the h-" I interrupted by Bree pushing past me and dashing out of the room

"What the" I mumble to myself as I follow the path of the previous runner

As I enter the living room I see my blonde friend running around frantically "Bree? What are you doing?"

She stops runs into my room and I see her spray my best perfume, she runs back out and looks her self in the decorative mirror on the wall "Do I look ok?"

I tilt my head "Uh you look beautiful but do you mind telling me wh-"

"No time" she exclaims as she runs towards the front door.

I know immediately what's happening, this is the way she acts before she goes on a date or something. I laugh and sit down on the couch, putting my feet on the table. I pull out my phone and begin a conversation with a good friend of mine.

"Chloe?" I hear my name being called

I look over my shoulder and I see Aubrey standing there with a compressed smile on her face, while Stacie stands there smiling at me.

"Oh hey Stace!" I greet, standing up and walking over to the pair

"Hey Chlo, how are you? You seemed a bit down last night" she says pulling me in and out of a hug

I nod "Oh I'm fine, just tired from the driving y'know"

She nods enthusiastically "oh yeah understandable. Must be good to be home though"

I shrug "definition of home is blurry"

She makes an apologetic look "uh shit, yeah sorry."

I shake my head "There's nothing to be sorry about"

She smiles "still, I am." She gives me one last apologetic look before facing Aubrey "Bree was pretty lonely without you here though" she looks back smiling

I grin knowingly, feigning oblivious "Was she now?"

Stacie nods her head "Oh yeah, like after rehearsals I would just see her OCD cleaning the auditorium so I just thought I'd keep her company until you got back"

I laugh "OCD cleaning? Yep, that definitely sounds like her"

I look over at Aubrey who is rolling her eyes "I do not OCD clean"

"Uh yeah, ya do" both Stacie and I say in unison

We both laugh "Hey, thanks for keeping her….. distracted" I express with a smirk.

Stacie waves her hand in dismissal "Oh it was my pleasure"

"I'm sure it was" I reply, wiggling my eyebrow at Aubrey

"OK, I think we should go now" Bree announces, turning Stacie around

I grin "aw really?!"

Stacie looks over her shoulder "Do you want to come with us Chloe?!"

"No" Bree answers for me still focussed on the course to the door

"It's ok, I'll see you both at rehearsals!" I yell as I hear the door open

"Bye Chloe!" I manage to hear just before the door shuts

I shake my head smiling as I go back to the couch and check my phone.

I sigh as I realize that I have a text and the contents of that text tell me that I actually have to go outside today.

"Tom!" I call, getting the tall boys attention from across the parking lot

"Red!" he says smiling as he strides over towards me

I jump up and hug him as he swings me around with ease "I haven't seen you in ages" I exclaim as he gently puts me back on the ground

He exhales "I know! Sorry about that, I've been really tied up with football lately"

I nod "It's cool, it's not like I've had a completely empty schedule"

He gestures in the direction of the entrance "Family, Bella's and classes? Understandable"

I smile sadly "Mostly just family"

He looks at me concerned "Really? What's happened?"

I shrug "Long story short?"

He shakes his head "No, no tell me the whole story" he says as he holds the door open for me

I walk through and look back at him "Really? It's pretty long… and by that I mean REALLY long"

He nods without hesitation "Yeah, you're always there for me and I'll be damned if I don't hear the whole story"

I smile as we reach an empty table "You always know what to say"

He smiles "So do you"

I sit down as he does in front of me "Where do I begin?" I ponder as I pick up the menu

He glimpses down at his "You should order first, I think we have a long discussion ahead of us"

I nod my head in approval "True"

Some amount of time later

"He what?! I'm going to fucking kill him" Tom exclaims, his fists clenched in anger. I can see him constricting his fury.

I put my hand over his clenched fist "Tom, it's over and done with"

"Chloe. He's you're dad" he grits through his teeth, his jaw tightened.

I nod sadly "I know, I know" I reply, trying to calm him "but there isn't anything that can be done, he made his choice"

"Why aren't you mad?! He was a homophobic ass, he physically hurt your friend, not to mention he basically disowned you!" he practically yells

"I should be mad right? Or upset? Distraught that my own father disowned me right?" I ask

He nods "Normally yeah"

"But why am I not mad? To me, I feel as though I shouldn't be angry at anyone but myself" I state truthfully

He sighs "This isn't the whole why me god? I don't want to be gay thing again right? Because I thought we got through it?"

I shake my head "no, no I'm 100% happy with my gay… but what I mean is, how can I judge someone for hurting someone, when I did the exact same thing?" I ask him, as well as myself

He tilts his head "Chlo, I feel as though you've jumped ahead a few chapters. We're still up to the bit where your fake girlfriend had a go at your dad for saying that shit to you"

I nod in remembrance "Oh yeah, that's right… ok so that night …"

An Explanation later

"Why'd you do it Chlo?" he says pinching his brow

I look down at my hands which are fidgeting "I don't know Tom"

"Don't give me that crap Chloe, you know how I feel about cheating" he says waiting for a real answer

"It was nothing like what Izzy did to you, it was a moment of complete fuckery" I justify quietly

"Every time I confronted her, she said almost the exact same thing" he says looking at me with hurt in his eyes

"she kissed me, I didn't kiss back" I shake my head and run my hand through my hair "but I didn't stop it either… but-"

I open and close my mouth in attempt to justify my actions, I close my eyes and take a deep breath "You didn't know me in high school Tom"

He looks at me confused "What does that have to do with anything?"

I sigh "Yeah when I first met you I was struggling with the gay thing but that was the whole coming out talking"

"And?"

"what I'm saying is… Jess was the first girl I realised I had feeling for. You don't know what kind of mayhem that caused in my 16 year old head. I was just overcoming the grief of mum and Ryan's death, I was struggling with school, my dad showed me no love. Everyone who knew me at that time either treated me like a wounded puppy, like I was weak or they just didn't give a shit. I want you to take a guess at who was there for me"

He scratches his head "Aubrey?"

I nod "Yeah Aubrey was there for me, she lived down the road definitely but she lived a strict Catholic life, I was not the first priority even if she wanted me to be. Take another guess"

He sighs "I don't know Chlo" he gives in

I nod "The only person who was there for me… was Jess."

He makes a look of uncertainty "I get it Chlo but that doesn't mea-"

I hold my hand up "With all due respect Tom, you don't get it"

He raises his hands in surrender and then gestures for me to continue

"Dad was negligent when it came to my emotions or personal life. If I had food, shelter and education then he was doing his job… I wont ever take that for granted but my emotional health was a mess. Aubrey tried to be there for me but with her strict schedule there was only so much she could do."

I sigh as I think of all the times I'd get a text asking me if I was ok from my blonde best friend.

"But Jess, Jess was always there. At school, at home whenever I needed her she was there. She showed me love when I didn't know what love was and maybe it was just teenage me translating her friendship into something more but really... what kind of friend rides her bike 6 blocks at 11 at night just to hold me while I cried? Second anniversary of their deaths and I thought I was having a mental break down, I called her and said like 3 words before I hung up embarrassed. 10 minutes later her arms were around me. She broke in through the faulty back window just to make sure I wasn't beside myself"

At this point Tom is looking down "Why have you never mentioned her before?"

"She was like my little secret y'know. My only good memory from those times and I wanted it all to myself" I answer smiling at the thought of those times

He sighs "Different circumstances to Izzy then…"

I nod "Very different. Izzy was a slut" I state emotionless. I see him wince "Sorry" I whisper

He shakes his head "it's true, she could've at least broken up with me before sleeping around"

"I was in love with Jess for years and years. It took me years and having to move across the country to get over her"

"Why'd you let her kiss you?" he asks looking me in the eye

"I got caught up in reminiscing, the memories. When I looked into her eyes I felt like the 16 year old girl who woke up in the middle of the night to see her best friends face on the pillow next to her after a long night of crying. I loved her, I still do but it's a sort of nostalgic love and that's why I didn't stop her"

"You let her kiss you because you love her?… Chloe, if you love her then you should be with her." He advises, being frank

I shake my head "That's not the point Tom! Its like the favourite childhood toy we all had, you grow so connected to it that you cant stand the thought of throwing it out but as you grow up, you realise that you have to put it up on a shelf or in a box. Sure, it's good to get the toy down and reminisce every so often but you're not going to start carrying it with you everywhere and sleeping with it. It has sentimental value. That what's it's like with Jess, it's just I made a mistake and got caught dwelling in the past."

He has his thinking face on, he's processing what I just said "And Beca?"

I sigh "What about her?"

"Well does she know this?" he asks

I shake my head "I'm trying to give her space"

He shakes his head "What happens when girls are alone? They over analyse and they end up hurting themselves. She doesn't know this Chloe, who know what she's thinking at this moment"

"She wont forgive me" I mumble

He looks at me as if he cant hear me "She wont forgive you? How do you know that if you don't try hm?"

"Because I know her! I know how much it took for her to stay and be vulnerable, she trusted me with her feelings, she was her complete self around me… and I fucking betrayed her" I murmur the last part to my lap in shame

He shakes his head "I don't know what Beca is like Chlo but you have to believe that she'll hear you out"

"She pushes people away to preserve her feelings… but I wouldn't let her push me away because I thought I'd be the exception, the person who wouldn't hurt her." I laugh in disbelief "why couldn't I just let her push me away"

He shakes his head "Get up Chloe."

I look at him confused "Wha?"

He stands up suddenly "We're leaving"

He opens his wallet and drops a mixture of notes "What are you doi-"

"get up Chloe, I paid, now let's go" he orders, signalling for me to get up

I slowly stand up, pulling my coat over my shoulders and my bag onto my arm "I'm confu-"

He walks past me and waits at the door, he opens it and nods outside "Let's move"

I follow his orders, still bemused to as of what he is doing.

We reach a familiar park, our favourite place to meet up when we where younger, we reach a pathway. "Do you remember what kind of guy I was when I was with Izzy?"

My eyebrows raised "Do I remember? I'll never forget"

He chuckles "Remember the state of mind I was in?" he asks linking his arm with mine as he indicates in a certain direction

"You were…. Unstable I guess" I reply not sure of where this is going

We keep following this path "right. Unstable, I was mentally and emotionally unstable"

I nod "When Izzy was with you and you thought the relationship was turning for the better, you were so happy, the smile never left your face"

He nods in confirmation "And when Izzy cheated?"

"You fell… you fell into the depression"

He pulls us to a halt and stands in front of me "I fell into that depression, drugs, drinking. But when Izzy came crawling back, I forgave her. Obliviously thinking we were going to get through it"

I nod "it became a cycle" I add in

He dips his head "A toxic relationship I guess you would say"

I chuckle "that's an understatement"

He rolls his eyes and continues, ignoring my previous comment "You used to tell me this, you tried and tried to get me out of it, you were being a good friend, but I didn't want it. I thought Izzy and I were gonna work so I thought you were the enemy, trying to break us up."

"You we're blinded by her Tom, it happens"

He shrugs "I know but what I'm saying is… I drove you away, well I tried" he looks around almost suggestively "This is the place where I realised that you are a persistent little shit"

I look around, now noticing where we are standing. He guides me over to the side "You not letting me push you away, your persistence? Well it's the reason I'm still standing here."

I think back to the dreadful day which I sometimes mistake for a nightmare. The day I saw my friend sitting on the railings of this bridge, the day I saw a broken boy in his emotionless eyes.

"I sat on the edge of this railing prepared to end it all. I lost everything, I lost my girlfriend, my scholarship, my job, all because of the drugs. I thought I had nothing, my family would turn their backs on me when they found out that I got dropped, I thought my life was empty and then…. And then Of course I would hear your voice"

I chuckle "I'm stubborn what can I say"

He snorts as he pulls me into a side hug "You and you're stupid little one liner"

I laugh at my sad attempt to grab my friends attention "What was it again?"

"Did you drop your phone again?" we say in sync

We both fall into hysterics at the bitter-sweet memory. "I don't know how you did it but you managed to get me out of it"

I smile "Clearly I should be working in the swat unit or something"

He laughs "You saved me Red, it was your determination. Don't let her push you away, I know it's hard but if you believe it's worth it, then a little bit of endurance will seem like nothing"

I smile "you always know what to say" I say pulling him into a hug

A.N I came up with those shitty metaphors so i apologise for their general stupidity. Updates will be slower than usual. Sorry guys! still love you all. xx