Thanks to NCChris she was a great beta!
Disclaimer: Twilight and all it characters are not mine, I mean no copyright infringement.
Chapter 13 – Mistakes We Knew We Were Making
Time passed and Bella had barely received two letters from Jasper. While the town buzzed at the sudden disappearance of the boy, no one truly knew of his whereabouts. Anne barely discussed her youngest and, as the war progressed, idle gossip dwindled from the tongues of the curious women. The surviving matriarch of the Whitlock family had yet to make contact with the Swan girl, and, as Renee realized that she was no longer needed, her attentions where returned to her daughter's impending marriage.
Plans were back in order, tailors were called and an engagement party had been set. Bella protested and attempted to reason, but her mother always seemed to have a one-track mind for meaningless things.
Currently, Renee was pondering the differences between shades of white that would serve in a wedding dress.
"We should go with the pure white, don't you agree?" she asked Bella.
"Sure," she responded clearly not interested.
"The off-white is not a good color for a wedding gown, seems to me it would be symbolic of dressing a trollop to look virginal. The pure white is more pristine, it would make you look as innocent as you are."
She kept talking even though it was obvious the only person listening was the tailor.
Bella's mind had drifted off to Jasper's last letter. Ever since the first arrived, she would imagine what he would look like while writing the words of love. Though she always hoped the image would be of a thoughtful looking Jasper writing while watching the setting sun; the images the letter brought forth would often be of her lover in a tent hurrying his words as a mass of carnage ensued in the background.
His last message had been especially alarming. He described how they had lost two men simply scouring off of a supposedly abandoned Union camp. He was already experiencing so much, yet he had barely started his journey. He also spoke of his inability to follow orders, his superiors were both angered and impressed by his natural ability to lead rather than follow. They suspected he would climb through the ranks quickly.
"Bella?"
She was broken out of her reverie by her mother's insistence on her being measured for her wedding gown. Not willing to argue with the pigheaded woman, she stood from her chair and allowed the tailor to take her measurements. Meanwhile, her mother gave orders on what she wanted in the dress.
~*~
"Are you decent, Isabella?" Renee asked through the door.
Bella looked at herself in the mirror; her face was slightly paler than normal. She feared illness, but kept her opinions to herself. No need to worry anyone in these trying times.
"Yes, mother," her monotone voice drifted towards the door.
Renee flitted into the room as if the wedding itself was due to happen in a matter of minutes.
"The guests are arriving, and you, my darling daughter, have to greet them along side your fiancé. Who, incidentally, is standing in the foyer waiting for his bride-to-be."
Stepping behind Bella, she fixed a few lose tendrils from her mahogany curls.
"You look beautiful darling. Surely every woman will be envious," Renee said as she took in her daughter's appearance.
While Bella's mind was a torrent of pleas for her freedom, she often wondered how her mother could change personalities so drastically. Where was the empathic and compassionate woman that had surfaced for the Whitlock's grief?
"Thank you, Mother."
Renee sighed exasperated at her daughter's emotionless expression. How would she be able to great her guests and show a jovial attitude, if she looked as if she would nearly collapse from boredom?
"Isabella, dear, smile, it is your engagement party. You should be ecstatic to have the town here to celebrate this most joyful occasion," her voice was both soft, as if talking to an infant, and pleading for her cooperation before her temper took control.
Bella realized that if she desired to have her mother with a pleasant attitude, she'd best grin and bare it.
~*~
"Ah Isabella, you have kept me waiting. I thought I would have to great our guests all on my lonesome," his fraudulently cheerful voice said, as he grasped her hand kissed the back with his cold hard lips.
Drawing her to his side he whispered rather coldly in her ear, "Let's not let it happen again, shall we?"
Bella's spine shuddered, as she heard the threat behind his words. His eyes briefly darkened, and she could have sworn the green left his iris, yet it happened so fast she was unsure if it was only her imagination. He turned his attention to Renee, who once again seemed transfixed with the swirling green orbs. Soon, she would be agreeing to James' every command.
The night wore on as both men and women traipsed through the mildly expansive grounds of the Henderson home. Bella lost count of how many congratulations she had heard, and barely remembered half the people she had been introduced to. By the looks on both Renee and James' faces she had played her role of dutiful fiancé quite well. Though there were times where a discreet shove from James would make her bite back her comments, especially those pertaining to the war. Bella often wondered if there was some kind of spell over the southern states that made people ignorant of human kindness.
Men of different calibers repeated crude joke after crude joke about the poor souls that were forced to work for them. Worse than the telling of these jokes, were the people who laughed at them. Bella felt her disgust rise as she kept drowning her sorrows in champagne flutes and glasses of whine.
Eventually people grew tired, some were past an inebriated state. Bella, to her utter dismay and dislike, had to sustain herself on James's marble hard body. She felt on the verge of collapsing due to tiredness that grew to dizziness, which she attributed to the copious amount of alcohol she ingested.
Renee approached the couple as the last of the guests left on the carriages.
"Well wasn't a most successful affair?" she said cheerfully.
Bella was most baffled at her mother's ability to be so flamboyant, while she was barely to keep her eyes open.
"I believe so. I also believe this young lady is in need of some rest," James said gesturing to Bella.
She had behaved herself, with the exception of select moments when her mouth ran away from her. In his opinion, she deserved the rest. Soon though, she would be his wife and he would be that much closer to his goal.
~*~
Her head pounded as the rays of sun drifted through her window. Bella groaned as she turned on her back and opened her eyes to stare at her ceiling. Her stomach churned, nausea swelled as her head spiraled, bile rose up her throat burning in its trajectory. She narrowly escaped the confines of her bed to her washroom when she emptied the contents of her stomach.
Both Nelly and Renee heard Bella's distress, and immediately made their way towards her room. Upon entering the washroom they found Bella perched on the floor, with her head bent toward the toilet. Nelly rushed to the pale girl and held her hair back from obstructing her face.
"I see the champagne has reared its ugly head on you darling," Renee commented, while Bella had the immense urge to glare at her.
After dry heaving from aftershocks of the nausea, she slumped back towards Nelly as the housekeeper cradled her and attempted to soothe her.
"I tink you shald avoid alcohol from now on, Miss Bella."
"Serves her right for drinking to such an extent, now get off the floor and ready yourself we have much to do," she stalked off as Nelly took a wet washcloth and applied it to Bella's over heated neck.
~*~
Preparations continued and Bella felt as though she had been pulled in a thousand different directions. Everything had to be to her mother's liking from silverware to drinks and food that would be served. She even oversaw guest lists. All the while, she dragged Bella to all the different venues, and when she wasn't forced to follow her mother, her tasks consisted of spending "quality time" with James, as every young couple that is promised to each other should do.
Those afternoons were spent acting as an accessory to his arm, as he paraded her around the town. More often than not, Bella felt as though he were silently training her. Telling her when to walk or talk, chastising her when she said something he disliked, all as if she were some lap dog.
Two weeks had passed since the party, and today she was thankful that James had out of town business to attend to. Her mother was planning from their home, and as they walked through the grounds Renee barked orders on where everything would be placed. Although she had not been ill since the morning following the party, she had been rather light headed and tired. All of which she attributed to the constant stressful environment she had been thrust into lately.
Bella impatiently trailed behind her mother, without alerting her of her restlessness. Another of Jasper's letters had arrived, and Nelly had kept it hidden for her. She had begged in her last letter to him for answers on what she should do. How James was slowly becoming more possessive over her and her remorse for not being able to visit this family's farm do to her fixed schedule.
"…and the band should be placed right at that corner. Bands should be heard not seen. We will have tables surrounding this large perimeter. Doesn't that sound wonderful darling? Isabella? Bella!"
Renee's expression grew panicked as she saw her daughter's body sway to the non-existent wind. Bella's head spun, her vision became blurred, and she could feel her body relenting to the pull of gravity.
After watching her daughter collapse, Renee called for a doctor as the garden workers helped bring Bella inside. Her limp body was laid on her bed as Nelly worked on stripping her to her chemise, waiting for the doctor to arrive.
~*~
After nerve-racking hours of pacing while the town physician examined her daughter, he walked out of her room. His expression was serious; he was about to deliver news that he knew could destroy the precarious family.
Renee feared the worst. She was already begging that there would be some cure. Anything to help her daughter walk down the isle and live the happy life she was meant to.
Nelly walked out behind the doctor with a somewhat petrified expression. She made her way to the kitchen to prepare some thing for the young lady to eat, since she had been in bed for the better part of the day. While walking away, the housekeeper gave a silent prayer to any deity that may have been listening for the absence of Mr. Hunts.
"Well? What is wrong with my daughter? Is she ill? Can it be cured? She is due to marry soon, she needs to be healthy."
Renee rambled on the verge of being hysterical.
"Ms. Henderson please, calm down. Your daughter is not ill. I don't believe you are aware, but she is the farthest from ill. Other than a slight anomaly she quite healthy," the doctor informed her.
Her patience grew thin.
"If she is not ill, than why did she faint in the middle of my grounds? That is not normal doctor. Is it exhaustion?"
"I believe that is part of the cause of her collapse, but Ms. Henderson, how much do you know of your child's intimate life?"
"I would like to think I know all, but what does this have to do with her fainting?" she was not in the mood for cryptic answers.
If her daughter was not ill, then what in the damned hell was she?
"Well it appears your daughter is with child," the doctor said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
Renee saw red.
"She. Is. What?" she said through almost clenched teeth.
"With child, Ms. Henderson. She is carrying an infant in her womb."
"I know what 'with child' means doctor," she snapped. "How could this happen? She did attend the New Years affair together, but he seemed so respectable…"
"Pardon?" the doctor asked, not understanding her mumblings.
"Oh nothing. Will that be all, Doctor?"
"Yes, though I suggest you handle this matter quickly and quietly Ms. Henderson, it never bodes well for a woman to be carrying a bastard."
"Of course," she smiled. "Thank you for your help, Doctor, just let us know our debt."
After the doctor left, Renee's smile immediately disappeared as she stalked to her daughter's room. At entering, the sight that graced her was that of the housekeeper attempting to coax Bella to eat while she sobbed.
"You," Renee pointed to Nelly, "OUT!"
She watched as Nelly scurried out of the room with one last worried glance at the crying girl.
"I cannot believe you, Isabella. I would have thought you had the decency to wait until after the wedding. Are you truly that desperate that you would bed James before you were wed?" she said on the verge of screeching, "This will ruin your reputation! Oh, you have any idea what people will say?"
"Stop it! Stop it mother! I can't take this anymore. It's not James' child, I would never willingly go ten feet near that man let alone bed him," Bella screamed as more tears left her red-rimmed eyes.
Renee was about to ask who then would be the father of her child, when she noticed Bella clutching a note in her nimble fingers. She stalked towards her and snatched the paper from her hands before she could protest. As she read every declaration of love, and every suggestion to less than holy acts, her temper rose.
"What is the meaning of this? Jasper Whitlock, that boy, you bedded him?" with each words her voice soared.
"I love him! He is the father of my child!"
"You are a whore, Isabella. You have ruined your chance at a respectable marriage and now, because of your disgusting actions, you now carry a bastard inside you. You will get rid off it, before any more people become aware of this!"
"Don't say that, he is not a bastard. If you would listen to someone other than your petty wishes, you would have seen that I detest James. Even before you sold me to him I was involved with Jasper, but you never wanted to acknowledge that I had found love. I will not rid myself of my child," Bella shielded her stomach as if to protect her growing child.
Blinded by rage, Renee backhanded her daughter's cheek with a sickening slap. Bella held her stinging cheek as she look at her mother with appalled eyes. The smell of blood drifted to her nose as Bella lowered her hands, seeing the red liquid on her hands. She realized that Renee's ring had done more damage than a conventional slap would.
"Get out!" Renee screamed, "Get out of my house! I will not have some slut living under my roof. If you will not get rid of it, then…you are no daughter of mine. When I return to this room I better not see your sorry excuse of an ass in this house. I don't care where you go as long as it is not in my house."
She left the room in a huff, leaving Bella stunned and hurt. This was the final straw in their relationship; never would there be any familial relationship between the two again.
Nelly soon entered the room again and held Bella as she cried. Tears stung the wound in her cheek when the housekeeper noticed and cleaned it for her.
"What am I to do now, Nell? Where will I go?" Bella asked.
"I tink you shoud take the nais boy's advais, an go to his moders," she said in her thick accent while handing Bella the letters, "Use tis as proof."
She nodded solemnly accepting her fate, and started packing as much as she could carry. Redressed and packed she stood in front of her only friend, and with a final hug she picked up her bags and left, never to return to that dreaded house.
It was then, as she walked the lone mile to the Whitlock plantation, that Bella realized she was alone and pregnant. Their love had created life, a life that was now growing inside her. She was responsible now for not only her well being, but it's also.
She pondered how Jasper would take the news. Would he be happy? Angry? Sad? Would he hate her for allowing such a thing to happen? Then her thoughts turned to how Anne would react. Surely she wouldn't welcome her with open arms, especially after she explained that she was now carrying a child out of wedlock. Her mind drifted to the letters, the last one had talked about his love, and how much he missed her. Yet, he also coaxed her to confess the truth of their relationship to her mother, one last attempt at freedom. If that did not work he mentioned that there would always be a home for her at his house, which is why she was headed there now.
She arrived near midnight at the mansion, reluctant to wake anyone from his or her restful sleep. She knocked.
~*~
Rosa was sleeping peacefully, when the echoes of knocking interrupted the quiet night. Baffled by the thought of who would be at the door this time of night, she turned her covers over and lit a candle to make the journey to open the door. Apparently the knocking had woken the mistress of the house as well, as she saw Anne leaning to see who it could be.
The housekeeper was struck speechless when at the other side of the door stood non-other than the Swan girl. Her dress was tattered and dirty from the obviously treacherous journey on foot and a horrid gash adorned her tear-stained cheek.
"May I come in?" she asked weakly.
The Latin woman could only nod and allow her passage, when at that moment Anne took the last step to reach the ground floor. Without a second thought she opened her arms and the poor girl fell into them crying for all she had lost. Unbeknownst to her, she had also gained so much more.
A/N: Ok I'm sad and it may be because I lost my beta, yeah so anyone interested in being the beta for this story so the chapters can keep being so awesome pm me. Requirements are that you can spot grammatical as well as small spelling errors. Such as badly placed comas, punctuation, and run-on sentences. Like I said to in one of my tweets I'm a betas wet dream, I am always patient I know you have a life outside of Twilight FanFic so I won't pester you for my chapters until it surpasses the amount of time I find ridiculous, and even them I will be reluctant to push you for my chapter so please consider it. (P.S. If you want to be my beta I will ask nicely if you can beta the first 7 unbeta'd chaps, but only if you can) Because I needed a pick me up and you guys have been so awesome I decided to post this before I planned to. I let it pass guys instead of ten I posted at 8 reviews which is a new record thanks to all of you!! Now be nice to me and make my dreary day happy by showing your love, I have enough material from chapter 14 to make a decent teaser for all who review so there are prices!! So there you go from now on the story will be centered on Bella until further notice so you can all know what she is going through. School is starting up on monday so you all know what that means combined with my lack of beta. It means updates will be rare, I don't mean to torture you I swear but studying architecture in a trimestral college is hectic and demanding and I only have so much spare time with all the projects so I ask that you have patience with me and trust me I'm not giving up on this story until I finish it! With that I bid you farewell till next time, next chapter will be even more of a dozy with a bang ending or beginning haven't decided yet! Now press that pretty green button and tell me how much you love or how much you hate Renee, either way it makes me happy!!