PEANUT ACTUALLY

PART 14

It was a rainy evening. Remus was walking down some street in Hogsmead after having vended some of his blood to the local vampires. That wasn't how he was going to raise the peanut money, that was just how he got the pocket money. And good it was too, that piggy bank was really growing.

No, no. He didn't really have an idea yet. But he was about to have one.

He was passing Trev's Telly Shop of Tellies, which had lots of tellies in the window currently airing Top of the Pops.

The shop was closed but the tellies were still on and he could hear them, if very faintly. The Bay City Rollers performing their hit cover song I Only Want To Be With You.

And that was how he came to have his big idea. If he could record his own cover, and have it be a big hit, money would flow to the peanut fund for eternities to come!

If only he just knew where to start...

So while Remus went and found himself a struggling agent looking for his first big hit sensation, James and Sirius informed all the chaps from the calendar about the show (sans Reggie) they were planning and asked them if they wanted to be in it. They all wanted it desperately, so great was their passion for legumes. And peanuts.

They couldn't get permission to play Wembley so they would just have to settle for the abandoned roller rink, which had only 200 seats. They definitely needed to raise the ticket price. James and Sirius were doing all the necessary maths now.

"Padfoot I have to ask," said James. "Just how are you going to get anybody to pay 4 millions for a ticket to see our saucy show? It didn't cost 1 million to see the Beatles!"
"How do you know? I'm sure they could have charged 4 millions per ticket."

"I think there are probably regulations."

"The Beatles is a thing of the past. Maybe I just think we are bigger than The Beatles."

"That is quite a provocative statement to make you know. Bigger than cheeses maybe."

"All we are doing is we are selling a product, and we are selling it to the people who are willing to pay at least a million for it. Disgustingly rich witches! Trappped in their unsatisfying luxury marriages, looking for a bit of fun."

"I think they'd just rather do drugs and hire a pool keeper, that would cost them less."

"Unsatisfied luxury wives with a passion for peanuts. Or dwarf lops. Grooming a dwarf lop and entering it in a show is not cheap. Bribing the judges is also not cheap."

"Were you planning to find 200 bored luxury women who enter their dwarf lops in shows and bribe judges in Hogsmead alone?"

"You keep complaining I'm a dictator, I was counting on a team effort."

"There are roughly 700 people living in Hogsmead and they're all farmers, not luxury wives."

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to get myself hired as a pool keeper then."

"Do you want me to come with you to the chamber of the telephone?"

"Is Professor McGonagall's favourite band The Bay City Rollers?"