Normal.
Getting back to normal, people say.
But what is normal exactly?
It seems that everyone has a different definition of the word and what they consider it. He himself wasn't sure how to wrap his mind around the word "normal," because he didn't know what it meant for him and his life right now.
It's all in perspective, he supposed. A general sense of normal is a routine. Waking up, eating breakfast, getting to work, coming home to spend time with you family, eat dinner, watch Jay Leno and then go to sleep, before repeating the process. It all becomes normal.
He was still adjusting to a new normal, and it was hard, but he was trying.
But sometimes, just when things seems normal, it hits you that they're not, and they won't be again…at least not the same normal.
~O~
"How can you not catch the word prostate? It really doesn't mean the same thing as prostrate!"
Bella's face fell against her hand and slowly rubbed against the length of it before raising again.
The manuscript in front of her was a joke. That's what it had to be. The editor, James Freeland, had to be shitting with her, just for a laugh. That was the 6th mistake she found that he hadn't caught, and she was only 40 pages in.
Landon Olsen, her intern, was sitting across from her at her desk and was trying not to chuckle.
Bella continued her exasperated rant. "It's such a great story. It really is. But the author never really does that great of a job editing, and when our own goddamn editor doesn't do that great of a job editing, we're all just screwed!"
Landon flipped through his own copy of the book. "I highlighted another one I found last night…I think it's around page 60…here it is." He held his copy of papers out to her, and she took it with a grimace.
She read it out loud. "Right next to auditorium, my the east wing…" she groaned.
"What the hell, James. My the east wing?"
"You're sure he's not an intern?" Landon asked, partially serious.
Bella gave him a look, implying that it was too soon to be making jokes about the reason for the massive headache she was getting.
"Positive," she replied, going to pick up the phone on her desk. "Interns wouldn't have made this many mistakes."
Landon watched as Bella dialed the 16th floor's secretary, Gwen. "Good morning, Miss Swan, how can I help you?" she answered after the second ring.
"Can you get James Freeland in my office at as soon as possible?" she asked trying to keep out pissed she was out of her tone.
"Of course, Miss Swan. He is coming into the office after noon. Shall I send him in then?" she asked.
Bella sighed. "That'll be fine. Thank you."
"Not a problem," Gwen replied before they each hung up the phone.
Bella slumped in her chair, pushing the manuscript away with no small amount of disgust. Landon watched her with a small grin on his face, clearly trying to hide his amusement.
"It's not funny," she groaned.
Landon let out a short chuckle. "No it's not," he agreed insincerely. Bella raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay it's a little funny. Prostate?"
Bella shook her head, letting out an exasperated laugh of her own. "I should fire him," she sighed.
"You can do that, just like that?" he asked.
Bella shrugged. "I'm the head of this branch; my only boss is Mr. Collins in New York, and other than the three department heads, he lets me do my own thing."
"Doesn't it seem a little harsh to fire him for a bad manuscript?" he said.
Bella eyed the man in front of her with a frown. "I suppose so, but think what would have happened if we would have published it like that. Remember that he was the final editor of it. That book would be a laughing stock, because this publishing company has a high reputation and my ass would be on the line. It sure as hell isn't my job to be cleaning up after his mistakes, because he shouldn't be making these."
Landon nodded. "Are you going to fire him then?" he wondered.
Bella let out a huff. "I'm going to let his ass know that this is his 2nd strike. If there is anything even remotely close to this again, he will be done."
Sometimes it was nice to be the boss.
If Landon was frightened by her somewhat intimidating stance on things, he didn't let it show. She privately thought to herself that the man in front of her would do a much better job than James Freeland was.
Bella clicked a few things on her laptop to pull up a calendar. "James has three manuscript deadlines that are coming up in July. When he submits them to me, I'll give them to you to look over with a freaking magnifying glass before I even look at them."
Landon grinned at her ruthless expression. He was really glad the woman he was working with was neither a bitch (in layman's terms, since he rarely used that word) nor an idiot. On the contrary, she was confident, smart, witty and powerful, and he was very impressed by the few days of work he had seen from her.
"I look forward to it," he answered. He was also glad that since she had arrived back from her leave that he was doing important work and really learning about the business, instead of the busy work the interns had been doing.
Bella nodded. "I've been trying to stay caught up since coming back, but I have about 9 or 10 manuscripts that have been read and submitted directly to me that I need to approve or deny to publish. You can-" she was interrupted by her phone ringing on her desk.
She held up a finger to him and reached over to answer it, seeing that it was Gwen on the line again. "Yes?" she answered.
"Miss Swan, a Mr. Cullen and his daughter are wishing to see you. Shall I send them in?"
Bella couldn't hide her surprise. "Um, yeah…of course! Thanks."
She hung up the phone and tried to remember her train of thought before the surprise of Edward and Molly's visit.
"Where was I?" she asked Landon.
"Nine of ten manuscripts?"
"Oh yeah!" she remembered, "You can take a couple of them and start to summarize them. I'm talking not just the plot, not that that's not important, but I want the author's writing and their voice summed up as well, if you wouldn't mind?"
Landon was excited by the prospect. "I'll get started right away."
Bella smiled and gestured over towards a thick stack of papers that was resting on a small four person table over to the left of her desk. "Grab whichever you want."
Landon stood up went over to the stack just as the door to her office opened. She looked over to see Edward and a happy Molly entering the room. Molly was sitting on Edward's elbow as he curled his hand around her and held her with one arm. Upon seeing Bella, Molly started to squirm out of her father's arms, holding her arms out towards Bella.
Bella smiled as she pushed away from her chair and crossed the space of her office towards them. "Hey there, cutie pie!" she cooed as Edward passed her the little girl.
"What are you guys doing here?" Bella asked as she lightly tossed Molly around, making her giggle.
"I would have texted you that we were coming, but alas, you forgot your phone," he smirked, pulling her iPhone out of his back pocket.
Bella grinned sheepishly. "My bad."
Edward rolled his eyes. "I also figure while I'm in the city, I'll run to the firm and talk to my dad. I don't want to, but I think it's time that I have to be getting back to work."
Bella settled Molly onto her hip, tickling her sides distracted as she conversed with Edward. "We'll have to get Molly back into daycare then. She still has a spot right?" Taylor had opted to send Molly to a home daycare, the same one she had gone to when she was a kid.
He nodded. "I talked to Annie, the daycare lady, this morning, and I could tell that she really missed Molly."
"It's up to you, but do you think you're going to hold off until after the 4th of July?" Independence Day had fallen on a Thursday this year, and Bella had taken off the Wednesday through Friday of the week, not that she had mentioned that to Edward yet.
Edward raised his eyebrows. "Why do you ask?"
Bella shifted her weight from one foot to the other, the sheepish look back on her face. "Well my parents are going to San Diego that week with my aunt and uncle, so Alice and I get the lake cabin for the week of the 4th."
He gave her a slow nod. "Ah."
She rushed to continue. "I mean, we don't have to go if you don't want to. It's just going to be Alice and Jasper, maybe Emmett and Rosalie if they can get time off, you know, nothing big. It's okay if you don't want to…I mean I've found that lakes are actually really relaxing and peaceful, especially in tough times, but I understand completely if you're not ready to go back to it with so many memories…" she was rambling and she knew it, but the words did not stop until Edward gave her an amused look.
"You talk so much," he muttered, shaking his head. "If it's okay, I think it'd be nice to get up to the lake, since I know you haven't this summer. Molly would love it too I'm sure."
Bella smiled at the little girl who was peering over at Landon curiously. She then looked at Edward seriously. "You sure?"
Edward's face softened and he gave her a small, yet sure nod. "I'm sure. I'll go back to work the Monday after."
Their gaze at each other was broken by Landon, who was shuffling somewhat awkwardly, a small pile of manuscripts in his hand. Bella felt bad, realizing how uncomfortable he was.
"Oh, Edward, this is Landon Olsen, my intern for the summer," she gestured to man in question, "Landon this is my friend, Edward Cullen."
With a suspicious, yet still passing as polite look, Edward offered his hand to the other man. "Nice to meet you."
Landon nodded. "Likewise. Pardon me for asking, but are you with, in some way, Watson Cullen Law?"
Edward hid a smirk. "I work there. My dad is the co-founder of it."
Landon nodded, appearing impressed. "Cool," he said with an easy smile.
Not wanting to leave an awkward pause in the conversation, Bella jumped in. "And this little thing is Miss Molly!" she said, bouncing Molly on her hip.
Landon smiled at the little girl and gave a small wave at her. "It's nice to meet you too, Miss Molly."
Molly smiled timidly at him before turning her face into Bella's arm shyly. Bella grinned down at the adorable girl.
Landon smiled as well before nodding at Bella. "I'll get to work on these right away." He turned to Edward as he walked out the door and nodded at him as well, "Good to meet you Mr. Cullen."
When Landon was out of the office with door shut, Edward looked at Bella with a raised eyebrow. "Mr. Cullen?" he asked.
Bella rolled her eyes. "Doesn't everyone call you that at the firm?"
Edward snorted.
"Bella, they don't even call my dad Mr. Cullen."
She shook her head. "Well he was just being polite."
Edward chuckled. "What is he? From the 1940's?"
"The 40's were a good time!" she defended teasingly.
He rolled his eyes. "Between a world war and depression? Yeah! Just a dandy time!"
"You're using the word dandy while simultaneously mocking someone for being from the 40's?" she asked incredulously.
Edward laughed, conceding defeat to their verbal sparring. "Touché"
Bella set Molly on the floor, giving the little one her fingers so that she could toddle around the space and not fall over. "Do you guys want to stay for lunch? I was thinking about ordering sandwiches or something."
Edward glanced at his watch. "That'd be nice, but I promised Emmett I'd bring this one," he nodded down at Molly, "over to see him for lunch."
"Oh, that's fine," she assured him, knowing how much Emmett adored Molly. "How's he doing with all your cases?"
Edward let out a chuckle. "I'm sure he relatively hates me right now. I do think my dad did take a majority though."
Bella grinned, thinking that it had been a great show of support among the Cullen men.
"It's hard getting back to work…but it's kind of nice to have something to do, and people to boss around other than you," she smiled teasingly. And she was speaking honestly, as although the first day and yesterday had both sucked ass, today was better and she was already getting back into the swing of things.
He rolled his eyes. "I believe you."
"What have you and Molly been up to?" she wondered. Molly continued to toddle on wobbly legs, and Bella patiently stepped around with her while conversing with her father.
Edward shrugged. "Not much. We've been outside, practicing that superb walking of hers a lot, and she likes to be in the kitchen when I cook, so we've been in there a lot while I practice my not so superb cooking skills. And we've watched Lion King three times."
Bella laughed. "Thatta girl! Taylor would be proud."
Edward returned her smile, perhaps a little less exhuberantly, but still very much there. "That's what I thought."
If Bella mentioned Taylor's name to anyone else, the person she was conversing with would grow silent, sometimes uncomfortable, bringing both of the conversants into a sad silence that left Bella feeling sad. But Edward was the only person who she could speak to him with about her. She knew he appreciated the fact that she didn't tiptoe around Taylor like she hadn't been an amazing part of both their lives.
Bella scooped Molly off the floor and cradled her playfully in her arms. "You like Lion King?" she cooed.
Molly's eyes brightened, recognizing the words. "Rar!" she exclaimed. Since her first word the previous weekend at the baseball game, Molly was making all kinds of noises.
"Do lions roar?" Bella asked.
Molly smiled and repeated, "Rar!"
Bella looked over at Edward questioningly. She was surprised when she saw a faint blush appear on his cheekbones. "I may have been practicing my lion's roar…" he admitted.
At this admission, Bella threw her head back and laughed. "I'm good at it!" he protested upon her amusement.
Bella smirked at him and shook her head. She tickled Molly and said to her, "I'll introduce you to Tarzan tomorrow, cutie, and we'll see how good your Daddy can do monkey noises," she promised.
Edward looked smug. "Oh, I'm great at monkeys. You just wait and see."
Bella rolled her eyes. "And here I thought Emmett would be the monkey of the family."
"Oh, he's fantastic at monkeys, being the oaf that he is. Maybe Molly can get him to do it in the office," Edward grinned gleefully.
"Well," Bella smiled, "I guess you better go figure out!" She carefully tossed Molly the small space between her and Edward, where he caught her easily. Her giggles filled the space of the office, making each of them grin.
"I'll see you back at home," Edward smiled, settling Molly against him.
Bella nodded. "Thanks for bringing me my phone."
"No problem," he replied. Bella went over and opened the door for them. "See ya."
"Bye," she laughed, waving at Molly. She stood against the frame of the door and watched them walking across the space of the office, the interns conspicuously watching as they did so.
"It's a kid, guys," she said, drawing their attention from Edward and Molly back to her. "Not a flamingo. Stop staring," she added, rolling her eyes.
They scrambled back to work while Bella walked into her office, musing how she didn't really use her cell phone at work, and Edward probably knew that. He must have known that not seeing Molly every hour of the day had been a weird and difficult adjustment, and he had done just what she needed.
~O~
The associates of Watson Cullen Law were treated to seeing Emmett Cullen, the somewhat infamous son of their boss, do very realistic monkey and ape impressions.
Edward knew his brother probably wouldn't have put himself in that position at the work place had Edward not been there. By acting like an ape, he took all of the attention away from the other infamous son of Carlisle Cullen, who had been getting stared at everywhere he went in the office with Molly.
"All right folks!" Emmett declared after a round of applause at his antics, "Nothing more to see here! Go back to your stapling."
The crowd of associates filed out of the break room, still chuckling from seeing Emmett's hidden talent.
"I need a vacation after that," Emmett declared, snatching Molly out of Edward's lap much to her delight, and falling into a chair.
"Alice and Bella wanted to know if you and Rose want to go to their cabin next week for the 4th," he told his older brother.
"Really?" Emmett asked. Edward nodded. "That'd be awesome!"
"Easy on the beer though," he warned his older brother.
Emmett rolled his eyes. "What's a party without a little liquor?"
"Emphasis on a little."
The two brothers shared an easy lunch that Edward discovered he had been missing the past few weeks.
Across town, back on the 16th floor of Gray Books, Bella was just about to go get lunch when her phone rang. She leaned over her desk and exasperatedly and picked it up. "Hello?"
"Miss Swan, you're quite popular today. There is a man here who wants to see you," Gwen told her.
Bella sighed. "Does he have a name?"
Though slightly muted, she heard Gwen ask, "Sir, can I get your name?"
"Here, let me talk to her," the man replied.
Curious now, Bella waited to Gwen to hand the phone over.
"Swan, I brought lunch."
Bella rolled her eyes.
"Hello, Kessler," she said.
"It's Jimmy Johns," her former tennis coach added.
"Deal."
Bella hung up the phone and left her office, walking past the interns, noting that she really had to have a talk with them about staring every time someone walked by. She walked around the floor to ceiling wall that separated Gwen's desk from the rest of the floor. Kessler was standing there in a bright green polo and khakis, with a Jimmy Johns bag in one hand and Mt. Dew in the other.
"You brought me food," Bella marveled as she walked over to him, "You are truly a kind soul."
Kessler smirked. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
She rolled her eyes and started walking to the elevator. "Well I'm sick of my office, so let's go to a conference room."
They went up one floor in the elevator to level 17, where two conference rooms used by Gray Books were located. One was being used by a few people, Bella assumed the marketing team. She led her coach into the empty one, which had huge windows that framed the downtown skyline beautifully.
"Whatcha got for me?" she asked as they took seats at the end of the long table.
"I figured I couldn't go wrong with a BLT," he answered, pulling out a wrapped up sub from the bag and tossing it to her.
"Good reasoning." She did like bacon a hell of a lot too much.
Kessler pulled out his own sub. "I had them dose mine with the spiciest dressing they had…hope it's better than Subways."
Bella rolled her eyes. "That was like seven years ago. You still haven't moved on?" The tennis team had stopped at a Subway after a meet her junior year, and everyone had had to hear about Kessler's disgust that their spicy sauce was really just mild. It had become a running joke for the year among them.
Kessler narrowed his eyes. "I don't forget injustices."
Bella just shook her head.
They had each taken a bite of their food, when Kessler spoke. "Anyway I could convince you to come back this fall and help with the team?"
"I don't know," she replied truthfully. She wasn't sure if she was ready to go and help with the girl's high school team that she had once been a part of. She didn't know if she could go back to those times without Taylor.
"They're going to be making a state run," he told her. "We only lost two seniors this past year and there is an up and coming doubles team and that are going to kick ass this season."
"They remind me of a team I once coached," he said, looking at her meaningfully. Bella understood.
"With their stunning looks and sharp wit?" she grinned.
He rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not sure which doubles team that was. But they're almost as determined as Taylor and you were."
"You know," she began, "We didn't come by that determination naturally. You pushed us."
Kessler shook his head, his lips pursing. "No, the two of you started the sport with the intent to win. And it wasn't just in tennis that you've had the determination. Look where you are, kid. You're the head of one of the most famous publishing companies in the country."
"You know one of the things I miss most about her?" Bella asked, somewhat randomly.
"Taylor pushed me to be better, and I pushed her right back. Do you think it's by coincidence that we had the best grades in the school? That we were both involved with a crazy number of things in school? That we were both the exact same, admittedly high, skill level in tennis?"
"No, it's not coincidence," Kessler replied simply, "You'd get better, and then she'd catch up and get better. She'd get better and then you'd work harder to get up to that level. Hell, she took the ACTS and got a 30, you took them and got a 31, and she retook them and got a freaking 32. I don't know if it was always intentional, but you two motivated each other to great things."
"I miss her," Bella sighed. She took another bite of her sub, as did Kessler and they chewed in silence.
"Remember what I use to tell you all the time at practice?" Kessler asked randomly after a minute.
Bella looked at him a raised eyebrow.
"'Swan, you're not that fat.'" She answered sarcastically.
"I said that once!" he protested heartily, "It was taken completely out of context!"
"You were telling me that I didn't have to have diet green tea if I didn't want to."
"So essentially, it was a compliment," he retorted.
"And what about the time you didn't believe me when I told you I was ordering my uniform in size small, and insisted that I was at least a medium?"
"And did your uniform fit that year?" he challenged.
"No!" she exclaimed, "It was too big!"
Kessler rolled his eyes. Bella knew she wasn't fat, or nearly remotely close to it, as she had weighed about 115 for the past ten years. She just enjoyed giving him shit, as he wasn't afraid to give it right back.
"Back to my original point," he said, accusingly. "What did I tell you a ton of times when you couldn't do backhands to save your life and poor Taylor was perpetually stuck on that side of the court?"
Seeing that he was in the process of actually making a point she thought about it seriously for a moment. "You said a lot of sarcastic things…" she trailed off, thinking. He snorted but allowed her to trek through her memories.
"You told me to take my weakness and turn it into a strength…didn't you?" she remembered.
Kessler nodded, more sober more. "And to this day you have the best backhand I've ever coached."
Bella looked at him questioningly, not sure where they were going with this reminiscing.
"I just think it's interesting that you've lived by that since then," he said.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"It's what you do Bella. You take whatever you're struggling with, and you use it to make you stronger."
"Kessler, I haven't played tennis in a long time," she replied.
The coach waved his hand dismissively. "I don't mean in tennis. I meant in life."
"I don't see what you see," she admitted, though she understood the point he was trying to make.
"I know you don't. But it's there. Taylor made you a better person. Don't let her loss be a weakness to you, let it make you stronger."
He gave her a small smile.
"And I can see that it already is."
You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will
One Day You Will, Lady Antebellum
AN: I apologize for the delay, as I have had one of those stress filled, never ending, tiring weeks that absolutely kill.
This chapter is pretty straightforward, as far as explaining goes. I hope you guys all enjoyed it! Also, I know I usually don't have the time to reply to reviews, but know that I am reading them and I am so thankful for the feedback you all give me! (: