Look another post! No, no, everyone hold your applause... Well alright go a head. :-D Thanks to all my reveiwers, Lady DeathAngel, Elihice, Ciu Sune, Maze-chan, butterflydreaming, Laurus Nobilis, Larania Drake, miss-scarlett1, and as ever TamChronin.
Author's note: Unless you haven't guessed this story contains Shounen Ai (two guys in love). If you find that icky or otherwise have problems with that, that's between you and your sexual identity issues. Don't bother me with it, you've been aptly warned.
Oh and of course I own none of these characters. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here now would I?
Touya picked his head up and looked around himself quickly. For a moment he had a flash of panic, unsure of where he was or anyone else for that matter. Thankfully he got a hold of himself shortly enough, seeing Yuki and recognizing the small yard as Yuki's. "Are you okay?" Yuki asked, walking over to him and crouching, wearing the same worried expression that he wore far, far too often these days.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just fell asleep I guess." He wiped his eyes and looked over the garden. "How long was I out?"
He still wasn't good at recognizing some things, places he was particularly bad at. He was getting better at looking at things and people; it was like what he'd heard about blind people suddenly being able to hear everything. Still, it was odd seeing some places with the light sucked out of them; everything was missing the light for that matter. He'd never liked tv much, it was too dead, had no life to it; it didn't look like real life, no matter what people told him. He guessed it was to him what silent movies were to everyone else. Unfortunately, now his whole life was a silent movie.
"About an hour, I think. Would you like something to drink, or a sandwich maybe?" he asked, touching his shoulder lightly as if he would shatter.
Though… Living in a silent movie was a hundred times better than the alternative, he thought letting a tender grin on his face. "Nah, I'm good," he said, reaching out to lightly brush the side of Yuki's face, gaining a soft smile from Yuki in return. "Just needed a nap I guess. How much is left to do?" Another benefit he'd found since that day was that Yuki had become more affectionate than before, and Touya was far less fearful to do things like touch him or lean in close. He had all but made up his mind to confess, but he was still afraid, ever testing the waters.
"Ummm…" Yuki came back to himself as Touya began to stand and looked back to the garden. "I've gotten in all the bulbs and the bush actually. We're all done."
"Well, looks like I woke up at the perfect time, don't you think?" He smirked and stretched lazily. "Besides, after all the extra work I did when you weren't feeling well, I'd say it's my turn to lay around." Yuki laughed as they headed into the house, but Touya could tell it wasn't a full laugh. Despite his best efforts, Yuki still felt guilty about it all.
"No, I can get that," Yuki said, jumping up quickly to gather the plates before Touya could stand.
Dinner had been good: soba and vegetables. Yuki might be willing to eat cardboard (with a smile), but he was a very good cook. After his nap, it was only the sheer amount he'd eaten that had slowed Touya down in getting up to take his own plate. "Yuki, I could have gotten that, really. You don't have to do everything," he said, turning in his chair to watch Yuki bustle about.
Yuki waved a hand lightly to the other boy behind him. "I can handle it, besides, I spent so long laying around, it's nice to be able to do things again." There was a forced lightness in his velvety voice that Touya disliked. "I made a couple carrot cakes yesterday, so we can have some desert once I'm done."
Touya considered this for a few moments but the part of him that still remembered that he was human and was made to only be able to eat so much before he'd explode protested. "Sorry Yuki, as good as that sounds, I think I'll drop over dead if I eat anything else. Why don't we wait a couple years for that cake… Well at least for me, you can have some, I'm sure you'll be able to force yourself to eat some later with me, if there's any left that is." Touya did his best to lighten things when Yuki got like this, but sometimes it was harder than others.
Yuki smiled back, almost a normal smile too, but it was lost when he looked at the table past Touya. "Oh! Your drink, I totally forgot about it. I'll get it." He quickly dried his hands and darted over to the table, snatching up the glass before Touya could stop him.
"Yuki…"
He refilled the glass of milk and set it down on the table. "There. Now are you sure you don't want any cake? I can cut you a small piece."
"Yuki…"
The smaller boy seemed to hear nothing and his small hands had a slice cut in seconds flat. "You can just pick at it if nothing else. Why don't I bring in our book bags so we can just do our homework here."
He started to head out of the room, but Touya called after him quickly. "Yuki!" he was starting to make Touya's head spin.
Yuki stopped and turned, still looking anxious. "You're right, working on the sofa would be more comfortable, certainly after working outside all day." He paused only a second and then turned to leave again. "It's getting chilly, I'll get a blanket from upstairs."
"Yuki!" Touya finally got up and caught Yuki's arm, pulling him back. "Stop… Tell me I wasn't this bad when you were sick," he asked with a soft smile and then reached up to pat the side of his face, growing more serious. "You don't have to do all this. I'm fine, really."
Yuki suddenly looked very sad and leaned into Touya's hand. "No, you're not…" he replied softly. "…and you never will be again… You're always going to be tired and sick and…"
"And thankful," Touya finished. "Unbelievably thankful." At Yuki's puzzled look he continued, "What would have happened if I hadn't been born with my gifts, or if I couldn't have given my power at all to save you? What then? Where would I be?"
"Healthy, happy-" Yuki started but Touya stopped him before he could continue.
"Happy? Tell me you're not serious, Yuki. How could I be happy with you dead? I'd rather be without my gift, plus crippled and blind than see you killed, even hurt…" He saw tears welling up in Yuki's amber eyes and reached out to grasp his shoulder and laid a hand gently on top of his head.
He started to cry, softy protesting, "But… but…"
"I'd be all alone, and I wouldn't have even had a body to mourn; you would've just disappeared, leaving me behind… I couldn't have lived like that…" Yuki stepped forward, burying his tear covered face in Touya's chest, and Touya drew him closer still, wrapping him up in his arms. "Don't ever apologize for this; a god certainly smiled at me when I was born with the ability to protect you, to keep you close… You mean everything to me," he mumbled into his baby soft hair, running his hand lightly across his back.
He held Yuki a bit longer, letting him cry as long as he wanted, more than happy to comfort the small boy and maybe enjoy the feel of holding him, taking in the smell of him, fresh and clean like the world after a rain. It was hard to tell, though, when he stopped comforting him and was just holding him, and at some point Yuki had circled his arms around Touya. Eventually, they loosened their grip and Yuki seemed to think his shoes fascinating, wringing his hands. "Thanks… You're very kind. We… We should get to our homework, or we'll never get done."
Touya reached after him as he headed into the living room but drew his hand back silently. Tomorrow. Somehow tomorrow always seemed a better day to confess; he wouldn't make some horrible mistake if he just waited till tomorrow. There was always tomorrow.
Touya sat up with a start, gasping in the darkness and looking about wildly. The room was dark and for a frightening moment he didn't know where he was and even worse he couldn't feel anything, anyone, bringing a chilling reality to the nightmare he'd just woken from, had been waking from every night for the past week: Yuki gone and dead. Icy terror gripped him as he ripped the blankets away, his vision already blurring badly and his chest unbearably tight, when he heard a soft voice behind him and a small hand laid on his shoulder. "To-ya, are you alright?"
He turned quickly to see Yuki sitting just behind him, still partially wrapped in his bed, his baby blue pajamas rumpled slightly from just waking. "To-," Yuki got no further as Touya grabbed him and held him tighter than he'd ever held anyone.
He was there, he was safe and alive and there. "Thank the gods…" he whispered, drawing him as close his possibly could.
Yuki held him back without complaint, reaching around him to wrap his arms around Touya's neck as the nightmares abated and reality returned. He was at Yuki's home, he remembered. He was spending the night after helping Yuki work in his garden, they'd done their homework and gorged themselves on carrot cake, Yuki had eaten one and a half all on his own. They'd gone to sleep without incident, well… until now. Somewhere in the back of Touya's mind he mused at the happy coincidence of getting to hold Yuki twice in one day, though it was probably tomorrow by the position of the full moon in the window. Yuki pulled back and looked up at him, his white hair taking on a light of its own in the pale light. "To-ya? What happened? You cried out in your sleep and then… Are you alright?" he asked softly, his face painted with worry as he reached up to touch Touya's face.
"I am now." He turned his head to nuzzle Yuki's hand lightly, catching it in his own. He earned a gentle look from Yuki, his eyes closing a bit. "I… I had a nightmare. The transfer didn't work, and you… You were gone." He could barely get the last part out, fearful that saying it too loudly would bring it into being and he ran a hand across Yuki's hair to cup the side of his face. "Then I woke up and couldn't feel you… I thought it was real."
Yuki made a small noise. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, To-ya."
He leaned forward, his beautiful face turned up to Touya and with Yuki's hand still clutched in his, his other hand lightly holding Yuki's face, his arms still remembering clearly the feel of holding him… "Promise?" Whatever was left of his fear and uncertainty crumbled to bits as he bent down to meet Yuki's lips with his own.
What started out gentle and questioning built into something deep and drawing, and before it ended in some rather deep breathing it had hit a whole new pitch. They were still clutching each other as they caught their breath, Touya pressing his cheek against Yuki's. "I love you… and I'm praying that that kiss wasn't just you being too shocked to deck me. I know I'm just throwing this at you, and I really did want to do this when things were calmer and not so nuts. You mean so much to me, I didn't want to ruin this, I don't know what I'd do without you. I-," he was stopped when Yuki leaned back and covered Touya's mouth with his hand; tears were evident in his golden eyes.
"You love me?" It was barely more than a whisper as he drew his hand back.
"Since the first time I saw you, since before that even." He let out a light laugh and ran a hand through Yuki's hair. "It may have taken be me a bit to realize it, but… but you're all I've ever wanted. You make me whole."
Tears that had been held back fell freely and Yuki tried in vain to wipe them away. "Why…?" As Yuki began his question through his growing sobs, Touya's heart froze, a million doubts and fears rearing up and announced their victory. Touya could barely hear Yuki continue over their cheers. "Why did you wait so long?" Finally his turned his face back up, streaked with tears and smiling at him, and Touya's heart began to beat again.
Relief washed over him, and he smiled back at him and leaned down close, bringing his lips a breath from Yuki's then moved them up, tracking the arc of his cheek bone to stop so close to his ear that he brushed it lightly as he whispered, "How can I ever make it up to you?" He dipped his head down and ran his lips down his neck, heading for his shoulders, only stopped by the collar of Yuki's pajama top. Little noises escaped Yuki's throat as Touya enjoyed the taste of his skin and the feel of Yuki's fingers in his hair. After being stopped by his clothes, Touya moved back to his previous position and caught Yuki's lips again.
This time, Yuki's lips parted quickly, allowing Touya's tongue to run across his own while his hands explored the object of his every dream from the first time. He slid a hand up the front of Yuki's chest under his shirt. The soft skin was intoxicating and yet again Touya was frustrated by the overabundance of clothes. He let out a low growl as he drew back from Yuki, and met his surprised and amused expression. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could, he let out a gasp as Touya pulled Yuki's shirt over his head. Tossing the disruptive garment aside, he took a moment to look him over. Yuki's shocked expression vanished into a deep blush as Touya drew him close again, "Much better…" Kissing him again he ran his finger tips across the soft skin and felt small hands sliding beneath the back of his shirt. Reluctantly Yuki stopped touching him long enough for Touya to pull his own shirt off. "How's that?"
"Much better!" he said quickly with a wide grin and pounced on him.
More than a little surprised by the sudden playfulness, Touya was easily pushed back onto the floor. Yuki giggled and claimed a kiss of his own with a level of passion that left Touya breathless. When he regained himself he slipped a hand into Yuki's hair and pulled him closer, matching his fervor. They stayed like that for a bit, Yuki straddling his hips and kissing down his neck and across his chest, until Touya drew him up again and tightened his grip. Yuki barely had time to let out a little "eep!" as Touya flipped him underneath himself. Yuki looked up and giggled and the lecherous smirk on his face before Touya silenced him with another kiss. He shifted position a bit to bring a thigh up between Yuki's, granting him with a muffled moan. Enjoying the new sensation, not only the feel of Yuki's evident interest but his own against Yuki's hip. Yuki moaned into his mouth as he wrapped a leg around Touya as they started to rock against each other. Their lips parted eventually as their movements sped up and they buried their faces into each others shoulders, Yuki's fingertips digging into his back.
Unable to take this much longer, he slipped a hand into Yuki's waistband and pulled back. The flush in Yuki's face visible again, Touya kissed him and then slowly drew off what was left of his love's clothes. The pants fell into a rumpled pile and Touya leaned back to enjoy the view; Yuki blushed and squirmed under his gaze. Touya laughed. "Look who's suddenly shy? Weren't you the one that just had my ass in a death grip, grinding against my leg?" Yuki looked mortified and tried to disappear, but at Touya's laugher he pounced again, pushing him backwards and landing on top of him triumphantly.
"So I'm the degenerate here? You're the one who kissed me, you're the one who took off both of our shirts, you're the one who pulled off my pants, and I'm the pervert?"
"No," Touya said laughing, looking up the luminescent creature above him, the moonlight behind him casting his hair in a halo and the breath caught in his chest. When he'd given over his gift to save him, a little bit of him had mourned the loss not of the radar sense, but the sight to see the way Yuki glowed, the light the poured out of him; he'd been afraid that the love he felt would die without being able to see that. But, there he was, perched above him in the moonlight, his smile brighter than any aura could ever be; even his blind, ordinary eyes could see the blinding light the surrounded him. He was light given flesh. "…you're beautiful."
The broad grin changed into a soft smile that told Touya everything he needed to know, but just in case there was any confusion, Yuki leaned down and gently kissed him on the lips. "I love you, To-ya. I always have, I always will."
"Promise?" he asked with a smile, kissing him softly back. They kissed a bit more and Touya again rolled them over and managed to get them onto Yuki's bed roll, instead of half on the floor mats like they had been. His own shorts found their way to the pile of clothes and Touya pulled the blankets over them, Yuki's slender legs wrapping around him again, drawing them together. Gently Touya slipped Yuki's glasses back off and put them of to the side where they always sat during the night and he kissed the soft skin of Yuki's eyelids, then ran the kisses down to his lips and across his jaw line. The silken feel of his skin was a reason in an of itself to continue, and as the pace yet again picked up, he looked up above Yuki's head at the ink painting of the cranes that had watched over so many dreams of this, for so many years. For a moment Yuki looked at him in question, but Touya only shook his head and smiled before kissing him again.
After so long, after all those nights only dreaming, after all those years wasted with doubts and fears… he was finally… home.