Chapter XI: Hunger of the Lost

Meowstic grinned bemusedly as he watched Lucario stumble into his dorm room, clutching his head.

"You okay, dude?" Meowstic called, before lowering his voice as he remembered that Ribombee was sleeping in the room. "You look like you're suffering the symptoms of a hangover."

It was Meowstic who had dragged a love-struck Lucario away from Stunfisk after dinner last night, before basically throwing him into his dorm and going off to sleep. To his surprise, Lucario hardly seemed as madly flamboyant as he had been last night; instead, he was rolling his eyes and staggering to Meowstic's bed, dizzy and tired.

"What did we even do last challenge, Meowstic?" Lucario asked, slumping onto Meowstic's bed in a heaped mess. "Everything feels like a blur."

"Hunting Dittos," Meowstic answered. "Feeding milk to Dittos. Playing hide-and-seek with Dittos. Mucking about in Ditto muck. While you were… who-knows-what-ing with a certain ground-type."

Lucario shot him a startled look. "Who?"

"Stunfisk."

"Stunfisk?" Lucario repeated, his jaw dropping. "She can't stand me, though! What makes you think I was doing anything with Stunfisk?"

Meowstic bore his eyes into Lucario's. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because last I saw you, you wouldn't shut up about her?" He altered his voice in an attempt to mimic Lucario's. "What should I do on my next date with Stunfisk? What should I say on my next date with Stunfisk? What should I wear on my next date with Stunfisk? Do Pokémon even wear clothes? Oh, Meowstic, you psychic feline love god, tell me what to do with Stunfisk."

"I don't recall those words coming out from my mouth."

"I was paraphrasing your body language," Meowstic quipped. "Now spill."

Lucario shrugged. "I don't remember anything."

"Don't remember anything?" Meowstic's brows nearly rocketed off his forehead. "Don't remember anything?"

"Don't remember anything," Lucario confirmed.

Meowstic tilted his head. "You're kidding. You're telling me that your epic love story with the - your words - 'hottest Stunfisk of her generation that spanned multiple dimensions in your role-plays and several incidences of saving your ass from cages' is over with a shrug and a 'don't remember anything?'"

"Yeah," Lucario agreed, trying to sound casual about it. "That's what I'm telling you."

The feline Pokémon got up and gently slugged Lucario's shoulder.

"Sorry, mate," Meowstic murmured quietly, his eyes hollow with sympathy.

Lucario sighed. "Yeah."

0000

"I just don't get it!" Lucario exclaimed, tugging at his skin. "How is it that I don't remember anything, yet everyone else seems to think that Stunfisk and I went on some sort of scandalous date last challenge?"

He clutched his head.

"And did I seriously role-play?"

0000

Espeon and Garchomp had spent the entire night playing countless games of chess. At first, Espeon had completely trashed Garchomp within minutes; however, as the night progressed, Garchomp had picked up tactics and techniques to counter Espeon's own.

By the end, to Espeon's dismay, they were both grinning rather goofily at the chessboard as they realised that they both had completely left their sides impenetrable, both of them wittily acting against every move the opponent made until they found they were going around in circles.

Even Espeon couldn't help but snort out a laugh as Garchomp groaned.

"I can't believe that I thought that the school chess club was for losers," Garchomp noted, shaking her head. "Chess is hard-core."

Espeon gestured towards the window, where the sun had risen and was piercing through the glass. "You're not wrong."

Beginning to pack away the board and store it into the cupboard, she gave Garchomp a pointed look.

"Garchomp," she began, offering a sly grin. "If you plan on murdering Lurantis, do it farther down the hills and away from the cabins where I cannot see you, so I won't have to answer awkward questions."

The dragon-type stifled her laughter. "I still can't believe you're helping me. Especially since I'm on the enemy team-"

"So is Lurantis, you know," Espeon retorted. "Lurantis is an even bigger enemy. And the enemy of the enemy is a friend."

"I wish Lurantis thought like that," Garchomp confessed. "For him, it's more like: the enemy of the enemy is vulnerable, let's stab them in the back while they're not looking."

They both smiled at the thought, before Garchomp folded her arms.

"Wait," she quickly added. "Why is he your enemy?"

Espeon narrowed her eyes. "He once beat me in a game of chess. That's reason enough."

"Fair enough," Garchomp replied with a chuckle, before taking a long deep breath. "Hey, um, Espeon? I wanted to tell you something-"

"Arceus Above," Espeon mused. "You really do sound like you're going to confess your undying love for me."

"It's not that!" Garchomp hastily protested, trying to wipe the stupid grin from her own face. "I just wanted to say thank you."

Espeon eyed Garchomp carefully. "Well, that's certainly…" she trailed off her sarcastic remark as she took in the sincere look of gratitude that Garchomp was giving her. "Um, you're welcome."

"What's this?" Garchomp teased. "Is Espeon flustered? Perhaps you're the one who is in love with me."

"Oh, shut up."

"Morning, Bellossom!"

"Morning, Miss Shaymin-" Bellossom halted suddenly, swinging around hastily to find that the voice did not, in fact, come from Shaymin at all. Instead, she found herself staring at a grinning Krokorok. "Wait, you're not Shaymin."

Krokorok shrugged his shoulders. "I don't blame you for mistaking me for her, though. I hear that the resemblance between me and Shaymin is uncanny."

"You look nothing like her," Bellossom pointed out with a grin. "You're a bit too…"

"Handsome?" Krokorok interjected smoothly, winking. "Or perhaps striking?"

Bellossom rolled her eyes playfully.

"I think the word I'm looking for is 'reptilian'".

Krokorok grinned. "Fair enough."

"The reason I mistook you for her is because no one else comes into the cafeteria kitchens except for Shaymin," Bellossom explained, before furrowing her brows. "What are you doing here, anyways?"

"I came here to help you prepare breakfast," Krokorok answered, sidling up to her and reaching out to grab the bowl containing pancake batter.

"You're being awfully helpful, lately," Bellossom mused. "Though, considering your efforts from when you and Noctowl tried to help me clean the school, I think it's safe to say that I'll be alright by myself."

Krokorok held out his arms. "Come on, Bellossom. Don't pretend that you didn't enjoy being trapped in a bucket with me."

"I most certainly did not enjoy it-"

"I didn't hear you complaining at the time."

Bellossom dropped the plate of berries onto the bench. "That's because my mouth was literally buried in your chest!"

"Whatever you say." Krokorok winked, causing Bellossom to laugh giddily.

"Actually, Krokorok," Bellossom began, glancing awkwardly at the ground. "There is something that you should know."

"Yes?"

Before, she could respond, the door slammed open again, and as Bellossom checked to see who it was, she shot Krokorok an exasperated look. "Please tell me that you didn't invite Noctowl as well- oh! Miss Shaymin!"

Shaymin, indeed, had flown into the kitchens, eyeing Krokorok suspiciously. "What is Krokorok doing here, Bellossom?"

"I had offered to help-" Krokorok began, but he was quickly interrupted by Bellossom.

"He was wondering why breakfast was taking so long to make," Bellossom hastily lied, her voice drowning out Krokorok's.

Shaymin didn't seem to care. Shrugging her shoulders, she ordered, "Screw making them breakfast. No food for them this morning! It's all part of the challenge."

"What?" Bellossom asked, incredulous. "You can't make them starve-"

"Victreebel thought it was a fabulous idea, though," Shaymin insisted. "So we're going with it. Sorry, Bellossom." With a flash of a smile, she trotted out the door, leaving Bellossom gaping at the pancake batter in her hand.

After a sigh, Bellossom gestured at the bowl in her hands. "So… what do I do with this pancake batter?"

"That's easy," Krokorok answered, dipping a finger into the bowl and licking it. "You just eat it."

Bellossom's eyes widened. "What? But… it's raw! And gross! And… and…" She watched, horrified, as Krokorok dipped the spoon into the batter and raised it towards her mouth.

"Just try it," he urged. "It tastes exactly like pancake, but more like a pancake milkshake than an actual pancake."

After a moment of futile protesting, Bellossom allowed him to slide the spoon into her mouth, and the sudden burst of butter and sugar in her mouth nearly made her sigh dreamily. Snatching the spoon away from the crocodile, she dipped it in once again and firmly shoved the spoon back into her mouth.

"Isn't there a rule against double dipping?" Krokorok mused, but Bellossom shook her head stubbornly.

"Well," Bellossom began with a frown. "I guess it's all mine then."

Krokorok made a lunge for the bowl. "Hey! Sharing is caring!"

"Mine!"

They proceeded chasing each other around the small kitchen, so engrossed in their battle for the batter than when Absol entered the kitchen to see the ruckus, they hadn't even noticed. Without another word, Absol backed out, eyes wide.

0000

"I just saw Bellossom threaten Krokorok with a spoon," Absol noted. "And here I was thinking that she was one of the sane ones!"

0000

"Good morning everyone!" Shaymin called out. The contestants who were scattered around the cafeteria turned to glare at her as their stomachs growled, their insides clawing at them from the hunger.

"Can we worry about the challenge after breakfast?" Shroomish asked, frowning.

"You're not having breakfast this morning!"

Meowstic arched a brow. "Dude, isn't that illegal? Can't we sue?"

"Nope."

"Let me guess; it's because you have no money, so suing you would be as useless as having a peephole in a transparent door, isn't it?"

Shaymin snarled. "Shut up, Meowstic. Anyways, today's challenge has very much to do with you guys starving! The two teams will be on separate parts of the island, and you will be given several food rations to last you the day. However, the rations shouldn't last you much longer than midday; you're going to have to find your own food. However, there isn't actually much food around the island, so some of you will end up starving."

"How will we decide a winner?" Haxorus asked. "Are you going to see whose stomach ends up growling the loudest? Because that's totally unfair. My stomach, for example, growls much louder than Skitty's, because I'm bigger. Not that it would matter, because we're on the same team. But still, for example, think of Garchomp and Skitty - Garchomp's stomach would growl louder because she's bigger. No offence, Garchomp. Please don't hurt me. I swear, I didn't mean-"

"Shut up," Shaymin repeated, hushing the dragon-type. "It has nothing to do with stomach growling. When a Pokémon faints, the team that Pokémon belongs to will automatically lose."

Primarina gave the host a pointed look. "That has lots of loopholes. For example, someone from the Kyogres might just punch someone from the Groudons and knock them unconscious so that their team can win. Does the Pokémon who fainted have to faint from starvation?"

Her eye twitching, Shaymin groaned. "Okay! Fine. If you are knocked unconscious by a member of the other team, that will not count. There! Happy?"

They all nodded, satisfied.

"Okay, good," Shaymin snapped. "Now, I'm not sure you realised, but we've already eliminated a quarter of our contestants. You guys are the top seventy-five percent! To celebrate, we've decided to spice things up a bit; there will be an immunity idol hiding in the island this challenge. Whoever finds this idol will be safe from today's elimination. So two things to look out for: food and an idol."

From across the room, Espeon winked suddenly at Garchomp, who grinned in response.

"An idol?" Bellossom chimed, confused. "Wait, I thought that you couldn't find anyone willing to make you one-"

"Yes, so the idol is actually a picture of me. Okay? Whoever finds the picture of me wins immunity," Shaymin explained, rolling her eyes. "Jeez, you guys make this so much harder than it needs to be. Anyways, Kyogres are on the East, and Groudons are on the West. Your rations are already there. The challenge starts now!"

0000

"This is perfect! It's my chance to show off all my food puns!" Skitty exclaimed, grinning enthusiastically. "Okay, so… What do you call a fake noodle?"

She winked at the camera.

"An impasta!"

0000

Krokorok held his hands out guiltily. "I'm probably the only one here who actually ate something for breakfast, since that pancake batter was pretty filling. So, maybe if I skip out on dealing the rations, I can find myself that immunity…"

0000

"At first, I thought the immunity idol was pretty stupid," Froslass confessed. "What are the chances that the Pokémon who finds it will be a Pokémon who is most likely going to be eliminated?"

The ice-type smiled.

"Then, I realised that you can use it to save a friend."

0000

His tail twitching behind him, Krokorok began searching through the woods, the metallic device that Luxio had so kindly made to control his tail held inside his paws. He figured that the best way to find something which everyone would be searching for would be to allow his wicked tail to be free once again to hunt down the object.

"Okay, but please, control yourself," he told his tail, before shaking his head. "Oh, Arceus, I'm talking to myself again."

As if exhilarated by its freedom, his tail began to shake uncontrollably, swinging wildly back and forth until it was dragging Krokorok's body behind it, madly hitting against trees and rocks that came into its path.

"Will you just chill?" Krokorok hissed to the tail. "You make it seem like we've already found the goddamned- oh."

The crocodile stopped as his tail began thrashing against a tree stump, where a small photo was plastered onto the bark. Shaymin was smiling in the photo, her grin bright and optimistic as the sun shone behind her. Interestingly, the photo had been torn in half, concealing whoever remained on the other end of the photo.

"You know, sometimes I like you," Krokorok whispered to his tail, watching in awe as his tail snatched the photo and pushed it at Krokorok's chest. He couldn't help but roll his eyes as the tail slithered up to his shoulders, affectionately wrapping around his neck. "Only sometimes, though."

As Krokorok and his tail celebrated the finding of the photo, a pair of red eyes watched from the bushes, analysing his every move.

"Okay," Primarina began, glancing around at her team. "So, Shaymin has given us a container of biscuits and a container of potatoes. I say that we save them up as much as we can and collect as much food as possible, so that the moment we start feeling a bit too hungry, we can start nibbling on the food."

"Sounds good," Banette agreed. "So, should we have someone guarding the-"

She was interrupted by a loud burp and turned around horrified to find that Exeggutor was standing in front of the container of biscuits.

"Tor! You can't just eat all of the biscuits!" Ex scolded. "That was for everyone!"

Egg nodded. "And now my stomach feels queasy from all those sugary biscuits…"

"Why is your stomach queasy?" Tor snapped. "I'm the one who ate it, not you!"

"Guys," Ex sighed. "We share the same stomach."

Their quarrelling was interrupted by Primarina, who had narrowed her eyes at them. "Eaten all the biscuits, have you?" she asked, her voice tinged with disapproval.

Egg nodded on behalf of his brothers, unable to speak as he felt the first wave of nausea hit him.

"While I do understand how hungry you are," Primarina started, sighing, "I do not approve of the way you expressed that to us. I think you owe our team an apology."

Tor snickered at her. "What are you; our mum?"

"No, I'm not your mum-"

"Good!" Tor retorted. "I'd rather die than have you as a mum!"

Primarina jerked backwards, her eyes beginning to widen as her face paled. Garchomp eyed her with curiosity, watching as the water-type seemed to recoil in pain at the mere words that were spoken to her.

Before Primarina could speak, Exeggutor retched and sprinted to the side, before emptying the contents of their stomach onto the grass.

"Serves you right!" Primarina barked stubbornly, glaring at them. "I've never seen such disrespect in my life!"

Exeggutor groaned and tried to cough the bitter taste of acid from the back of their throats, then tottered back towards their team-mates and slumping onto the ground.

"I think it's all out now," Ex announced, wiping his mouth with a leaf from his head.

"And now we're left with no food," Mimikyu sighed, rubbing her hands together. "So now what?"

All the Kyogres glared at Exeggutor, who only cowered sheepishly.

0000

"Idiot, idiot, idiot!" Ex yelled. "Can't you control your urges for once, Tor?"

Tor frowned. "I needed the food for power!"

"Seriously? Power? What's more important: power or common sense? Egg, you answer this question."

"... Yes," Egg replied sheepishly, glancing down.

"WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?"

0000

"Okay, so I know conserving food is important," Salazzle pointed out. "But judging by your faces, we're going to struggle getting some food if we don't even have the energy to move. So, since one of the containers has sugar biscuits, I say that we all have one each - since there are about twenty biscuits in there. That should be enough to motivate us and keep us fuelled."

They all agreed to that, with Noctowl hovering over the biscuits to ensure that each Pokémon only took one biscuit. Absol, who was last in line, scampered over excitedly to the biscuits, when Noctowl dropped the lid shut.

"H-hey!" Absol yelped, stepping back. "What gives? Are there no more biscuits left or something?"

Noctowl smiled sweetly. "Sorry, Absol. It's just that if you eat a biscuit, we'll have an odd number of biscuits left."

"So?"

"It wouldn't look nearly as good," Noctowl explained, opening up to lid to reveal the assortment of biscuits, all arranged meticulously, with not a crumb out of place as it filled an entire row of the container. "There always needs to be an even number of biscuits if we want it to look good."

Absol grinned. "Okay, then how about I eat two biscuits?"

Suddenly, everyone in the area turned to growl at Absol.

"NO!"

Backing away, Absol clicked his tongue.

"Here," Skitty offered. "You can have half of mine."

"Thanks, Skitty!" Absol chirped, grinning mischievously at Noctowl. "Don't worry, Noctowl. Your treasure is safe."

Noctowl rolled her eyes, before swooping towards the middle of the team's base.

"Um, guys?" she began, flushing slightly as everyone fixed their gaze on her. "I'm not sure if you remember, but in the challenge with the glass castles with Shroomish as our King, we were given those communication devices. After the challenge, I found them all over the place, so I thought I'd pick a few up. I was thinking that maybe we could use it today, when we're ambushing the other team and trying to get food?"

They all watched in silence as she pulled out a small bag and emptied the contents, revealing the small metallic devices that clattered onto the ground.

"Wow," Shroomish gasped. "That's actually… really smart."

Noctowl grinned humbly, watching as everyone took a piece. Finally, only two remained; one that had belonged to Vespiquen, and one spare.

"Who's was that?" Buneary asked, pointing at the spare. "I don't remember us having spares. Someone is missing."

"Krokorok," Golisopod stated with a scowl. "Krokorok is the one missing. Where the hell is he?"

Though elated that he had gotten the immunity photo, Krokorok's heart sank as he approached the base of the Guzzling Groudons to find that it was blocked off by a small tree in his path. The tree was certainly smaller than him, hardly reaching his waste, and there was a slit of space on either side of the tree if he was to think about squeezing past it.

However, Krokorok could not go past the tree.

"Because I didn't bother learning the HM Cut," Krokorok sighed, before peering past the tree. "Guys! Let me in please! It's Krokorok!"

"Now, now, Krokorok, keep it down," came a voice from the side. Glancing to his life, Krokorok found Lurantis leaning against a tree, grinning.

Krokorok grimaced. He only wanted to get back to his base, but he couldn't lead Lurantis there, nor was he willing to let Lurantis get hold of the little photo flapping out in his hand.

"It's a shame this tree is blocking our path," Lurantis noted with a sigh. "I had plans to sneak into your base and steal myself some food to bring back to my team." Suddenly, he tilted his head. "That's right; I know the move Cut."

"Great," Krokorok remarked. "You know Cut. Could you use it on the tree, so I can get back to my base?"

Lurantis pondered on it for a moment, before answering. "No."

"What?" Krokorok stammered. "Just let me in! It's my base, anyways. And… if you don't cut it for me, I'll just scream until someone comes to me and sees you and chases you out or something."

"Well, you could do that," Lurantis agreed. "And I certainly wouldn't begrudge you your right to. In all likelihood, however, we would both be punished; I would be sent back to my team empty-handed, and your team will see the immunity photo in your hand and instantly try to steal it from you. So why don't we cut a deal here? You give me that immunity, and I cut down this tree for you so you can get back to your base."

"Shove it up your ass," Krokorok spat in disbelief. This was blatant blackmail!

"Come on, Krokorok, be reasonable. Soon, everyone will know that you're here and that you have the immunity, and they'll come prowling after you. You can either leg it when they arrive, or stay and watch them fight over it. Either way, you're no match for twenty of us. You made a mistake finding that immunity. Let me help you out." His voice was almost friendly, as if he were doing Krokorok a favour.

Krokorok's face burned red. "Is that it, then?" Krokorok asked, his voice low with frustration. "You think you're very clever, don't you?"

"It's just the logical conclusion to a situation in which I happen to be the beneficiary," Lurantis pointed out, his eyes gleaming with triumph.

"You forgot one thing," Krokorok growled. "I'd rather stay out here and lose my team's trust than kiss your ass."

Lurantis snorted. "I think I'll call your bluff, Krokorok. We have a long day ahead of us; it will be fun to watch you try and fend off your own team mates."

Though he knew Lurantis was baiting him, Krokorok felt his blood boil. "I will not give you the immunity. Just let me in, and I'll forget about telling my team members that you're here. We can put this whole thing behind us," he suggested.

"I'll tell you what," Lurantis drawled. "I can't come away completely empty-handed - that wouldn't do now, would it? But since I'm feeling generous, if you give me that immunity, I'll call it a day, and we can both get what we want."

Krokorok suggested at the nerve of the suggestion. He did not want to give Lurantis the immunity, not when he could use it to protect himself or protect a friend on his team, like Absol. At the same time, though, if his group found out that he had the immunity, they would give him hell and potentially try to get it off him. Now that Lurantis knew, there was no way he could keep it a secret.

"Alright, Lurantis, come and get it," Krokorok sighed, holding up the photo.

"Throw it to me," Lurantis called out. "I don't trust you."

"What?" Krokorok cried in disbelief. After a moment, seeing that Lurantis was probably worried that he would fight back when they were in close proximity, Krokorok sighed once again, before flicking the photo towards Lurantis.

Lurantis grinned with mock cheer. "Nice doing business with you, Krokorok. Have fun camping out here with that tree."

"Wait!" Krokorok yelled. "What about our deal? You agreed to cut the tree!"

"I held up my end of the bargain, Krokorok," Lurantis snarled. "I said I'd call it a day, and we'd both get what we want. And you said earlier that you would rather stay out here rather than kiss my ass. So, there you go; you get what you want, and I get what I want. You aren't kissing my ass, you're staying out here instead, which is what you preferred."

Krokorok only managed to gape at the grass-type, who waved the photo in his hand.

"You really should pay attention to the wording in every agreement," Lurantis snickered, sauntering away, leaving Krokorok to growl at the small tree that obstructed him from his team base.

0000

"I… I'm not even mad," Krokorok admitted, his eye twitching. "That was fucking clever."

0000

From the bushes, Garchomp had been watching the exchange between Lurantis and Krokorok, her fist clenching with rage as she watched the grass-type basically bully the ground-type, and simultaneously earn himself that damned immunity. Every cell in her body told her to get up and slap that mantis straight in the face, and teach him a lesson.

But she had to be smarter than that. He had the immunity right now, she had to be on good terms with him. It was about playing smart.

Once she was certain that Lurantis was out of view, she shuffled out from behind the shadows, approaching Krokorok with an almost bashful smile plastered over her lips.

"Um, hey Krokorok," she greeted, awkwardly watching him glare at the small tree that barricaded him.

Krokorok narrowed his eyes at her. "Oh, no. Not you too. Is it some sort of 'Krokorok gets bullied by Kinky Kyogres Day' or something?"

"No," Garchomp responded, with a grin. "It's 'Krokorok gets bullied by Kinky Kyogres Month', I believe."

"Well, shit."

Watching the reptile's face pale, Garchomp shook her head. "I was kidding! Jeez, am I really that bad at jokes? First Mimikyu, and now you-"

"The joke was fine," Krokorok interrupted, his hands shooting up in surrender. "It's just… You're not really one to joke. And I never know how to handle you; one moment you're throwing rocks at Vespiquen, then the next-"

"Oh," Garchomp suddenly slackened her jaw, glancing down at the ground. "Right. That."

Krokorok looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, that."

"Look," Garchomp sighed. "Whatever happened between me and Vespiquen, I swear it's all over now. We're on good terms, even if she's gone. And I'm really sorry about how Lurantis got that immunity off you just now - I really am."

"It's nothing," Krokorok shrugged. "He's just playing the game. It was kind of smart, to be fair."

Garchomp shook her head. "But it was cruel, as well, though. And uncalled for." After a moment of thought, she moved towards the tree. "I'll make it up to you; I'm pretty sure I know the move Cut."

"Wow," Krokorok managed to gasp. "That'd be really… awesome of you."

"One condition, though."

"Of course," Krokorok groaned. "A condition. You're going to do exactly what Lurantis did, aren't you?"

Garchomp rolled her eyes. "My condition is that you forgive me, and forget whatever I did to Vespiquen. I don't want to be remembered as a bitch anymore."

"I believe you were known as the 'fire-breathing-bitch-queen.'"

"That's lovely," Garchomp quipped, arching a brow. "But seriously, I want all grudges between me and Vespiquen's friends gone. Please. No more grudges?"

Krokorok smiled, before reaching out to shake her hand.

"No more grudges."

0000

"Fire-breathing-bitch-queen?" Garchomp repeated, chuckling. "I… I think I actually like that."

0000

Pumpkaboo, standing on top of Primarina's head, bellowed to her group. "Good now, mine own cater-cousins!" she called out. "Queen Pumpkaboo is in chargeth again! Together, we shall feed our kingdom!"

"Oh no," Meowstic sighed. "She's gone into this phase again. Does it happen every month or something? Is this a monthly girl thing?"

"I wish I knew, buddy," Lucario responded. "My luck with understanding women is just as awful as yours."

"Pretty sure yours is worse."

Lucario nodded solemnly. "Pretty sure you're right."

"Cease thy bickering!" Pumpkaboo called to them. "I say that, as a team, we should go as one big troop and steal their rations! Then, we shall feast upon our enemies' own food!"

"Wait," Primarina quickly interrupted, shaking her head so that Pumpkaboo fell off. "We need to defend this place, in case they come to steal our rations."

"We don't have any rations left," Banette pointed out, pointing at Exeggutor. "Remember? The stooges ate them."

A grin spread on Primarina's face. "But the other team doesn't know that."

"A trap!" Ribombee exclaimed, before flushing and lowering his voice. "You're saying t-that we trick the other team into believing that we have food, so when they come, they find nothing except an angry Kyogre ready to ambush them?"

"I believe that Exeggutor should be our defender," Magikarp spoke, his voice less of an offer and more of a command.

Zoroark gave him a sceptical look. "I don't know about that. Exeggutor is sort of a wild card-"

"Nonsense!" Pumpkaboo interrupted. "Lord Magikarp is always correct, so I say that we follow his orders. Let's go and steal some rations!"

Within minutes, the Kyogres had scattered away from their home base completely, leaving their station barren, with a small box of food placed tantalisingly in the middle.

Trotting her way towards the base, Skitty grinned mischievously. "Did they seriously leave their food rations abandoned?" she asked herself. "I was only here to spy on them, but it looks like no one is here - so I can steal food as well! It's like… hitting two birds with one stone."

She smirked at herself.

"Or should I say… Two birds with one scone?"

Chuckling at herself, she moved towards the box and flicked open the lid, drool already forming at her lips as she imagined a delicious smell wafting from the contents within the box, the rich scent of-

Nothing.

As Skitty stared at the box, she found that there was absolutely nothing in there.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "That's a shame. I was really looking for something to eat-"

"Would you look at that, Ex and Egg?" a voice snarled from behind her. "We have fresh meat."

Skitty whirled around to find the Egg Brothers watching her with malicious grins spread over their face. "Bitch peas," she snarled playfully, her voice emphasising the pun. "I am not fresh meat. I'm actually sort of worn out-"

"It's an expression," Ex clarified gently. "It's something that Tor likes to say when he's about to attack someone."

"Come at me, you… you…" Skitty rummaged through her mind for yet another pun. "You peach of shit! I'm ready to fight!"

Egg frowned. "I r-really don't think you are-"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Tor growled, stepping forwards, his face fuming with rage. He stepped towards Skitty, and before she could react, he stomped on her tail, halting her from running.

"I was only making a pun," Skitty insisted. "I didn't mean to-"

Tor hardly seemed to be listening. Glowering as he towered over her, the grass-type licked his lips.

"Fresh meat."

0000

"Okay…" Skitty trailed off, eyes wide. "So that was definitely a mis-steak."

0000

Ribombee, Zoroark, Banette, Magikarp, Mimikyu, Primarina, Pumpkaboo, and Lucario all stared at Meowstic and Musharna, their jaws dropped.

"Wait, sorry," Ribombee murmured. "But you could repeat that one more time? You can create a portal to the Groudons base?"

"Don't revere us so much," Meowstic humbly scoffed. "We are psychic types after all. It's like using teleport and foresight together, pretty much."

Musharna nodded. "With the portal… We can go to their base without attracting too much attention… But those who stay back can also watch from here to see whether the Pokémon who travelled through is safe… or not…"

"Gosh," Pumpkaboo managed to gasp. "Why, Musharna, are you so freaking badass?"

The psychic-type flushed. "Thank you, Pumpkaboo… I'm glad you think I have a nice ass…?"

"No, I meant-" Pumpkaboo interjected, but then swallowed down her protest. "Well, actually…"

"Okay, let's not start analysing poor Musharna's ass," Primarina instructed. "What should the plan be?

Meowstic pointed at Musharna. "I think Musharna had an idea in mind."

"I did…" Musharna confirmed. "I was thinking… Zoroark transforms into a Pokémon who can use vine-whip or string-shot, and we tie that around a volunteer… The volunteer then goes through the portal and goes into the Groudons base to find some food… And the rest of us will watch from the portal… When we see that they are in danger, we all help Zoroark pull the volunteer out and up through the portal."

"That's brilliant," Banette marvelled. "Who will the volunteer be?"

"We'll need someone fast," Meowstic began. "Someone agile as well, someone-"

Before they even had a moment to further discuss it, Pumpkaboo was already wrapping herself in a silken thread of string-shot, which was coming from Zoroark, who had transformed herself into a Wurmple.

"In other words, me!" Pumpkaboo declared. "I volunteer as tribute!"

They all stared at the clumsy pumpkin, who was prancing about cheerfully as the silky thread clung to her. She tripped over her own feet several times, but every time, she jumped back up and shot her team members a goofy smile.

"Well…" Zoroark muttered, the pitch of her voice increasing to a high squeak as she spoke in the form of a Wurmple. "If she really wants to."

The two psychic-type Pokémon were already standing to the side, their eyes glowing with power as a portal formed, radiating bright colours that seemed to spark like electricity.

"Are you sure this is safe?" Primarina enquired, but before anyone could answer, Pumpkaboo leapt through the portal. The team members eagerly waited for a yelp of pain, or even a thump, but all they heard Musharna humming to herself as she levitated beside the portal.

The portal had rippled when Pumpkaboo jumped through, and the string shot that was connected to Zoroark's mouth shot through it like a laser, but the portal displayed the image of the Groudons base, nevertheless.

There was the green-tinged ground, with fine grains of rusty sand swamping over the grass, churned into dust by a seething wind. Stunted trees dotted the landscape, their sparse branches contorted.

Suddenly, in the midst of grass, they could see Pumpkaboo, rubbing her head as she sat herself up. To their relief, a box of food lay on the ground near her.

Pumpkaboo glanced up at the portal, which was located on the ceiling of their base, and winked at the members of her team who she knew were looking at her, and moved away.

The small Pokémon had just grabbed the small box of food when she was knocked over by a brutal force, throwing her to the ground. The team gasped as they saw Lycanroc lunge for Pumpkaboo.

"Pumpkaboo…?" Musharna gasped, and suddenly, the portal weakened, the image of Pumpkaboo and Lycanroc spinning like a kaleidoscope before vanishing into thin air.

"Let go of the food, Pumpkaboo," Lycanroc scowled. "Otherwise, by the power of Lord Magikarp, I will-"

Pumpkaboo grinned wickedly. "You forget, Lycanroc, that Lord Magikarp is on my team. Besides, I get that you worship him - I do, too - but don't you think you're taking things a bit too far? Like, seriously dude, you need to chill."

"Chill?" Lycanroc spat. "Chill? You don't belong in Lord Magikarp's team, you mutt!"

"Did you call me a mutt?" Pumpkaboo echoed, narrowing her eyes. "Dishonour on you! Get thee to a nunnery! Off with your head!"

Lycanroc lunged at her, his face brimming with anger, and Pumpkaboo's grin widened. She tugged onto the silken thread that hung like a rope, clutching onto the food box tightly, indicating for Zoroark to pull her up.

To her horror, though, the portal above her snapped shut, the thread that bound her to Zoroark cutting off.

She watched horrified as the end of the thread fell to the ground, before raising her eyes to see Lycanroc barring his teeth, just millimetres from her face.

"Well, fuck me."

0000

"Lord!" Pumpkaboo exclaimed, her face ashen. "What fools these mortals be!"

0000

"We should save her…" Musharna suggested firmly, ignoring the protests of those around her.

Ribombee raised his hand. "I know you want to save her, Musharna, but we can't risk losing all of our team for the sake of a few biscuits."

"She offered her body as sacrifice," Magikarp preached. "This is true worship."

"But it's not true friendship!" Banette argued softly. "We have to go get her."

Meowstic frowned. "I hope Lycanroc doesn't mistake her for an actually pumpkin and eat her."

"Not helping, man," Lucario pointed out.

"Oh, that's right. The Pokémon world doesn't even have pumpkins-"

Primarina quickly interrupted him. "Before we break the fourth wall completely-"

"You literally just did exactly that."

"-we should decide on an action plan."

The nine of them eyed each other, waiting for someone to speak. After a moment, Mimikyu piped up.

"Musharna's right," the small Pokémon muttered softly, flushing slightly at the attention. "We should save her."

"Is that really a good idea?" Zoroark asked. "I mean, it's a nice sentiment, but we might just cause more trouble."

Mimikyu shook her head. "That shouldn't stop us. In the glass castle challenge, Pumpkaboo ventured out to save me when I was captured, even though she was queen and needed to be protected. She said that no one should get left behind. I think we have to live up to that legacy."

"I agree…" Musharna confirmed, smiling gratefully at Mimikyu. "I need to help Meowstic make the portal, so…"

"I'll go," Mimikyu spoke again, bolder. "I'll go and save her. She saved me, and it's my turn to pay her back."

She turned to Zoroark, still disguised as a Wurmple, and held out her arms.

"Do me," she commanded gently, indicating towards the silken threads that were left on the ground.

Meowstic winced. "A regrettable choice of words."

"Oh, stop with your raunchy jokes and just help Musharna with the portal," Primarina huffed, rolling her eyes.

Lucario leaned over and winked at Meowstic. "It's only regrettable if you make it regrettable-"

"Good Lord," Meowstic dramatically clutched at his heart. "Let's hope that's not what happened between you and Stunfisk."

"Seriously," Banette sighed, a playful smile on her lips. "At this rate, you two are bound to be forever alone."

After a moment, Meowstic and Musharna set up the portal once again, the blue sparks flying as the illusion of Pumpkaboo lying on the ground reappeared, with Lycanroc watching over her. Mimikyu was struggling to move with the bulk of silk around her body, but her face was set with determination as she flung herself into the portal.

The remaining members of the Kyogre watched with horror as Mimikyu fell onto the ground, the impact of her landing even surprising Lycanroc and sending him falling backwards. Using his recoil to her advantage, Mimikyu scooped up Pumpkaboo and began moving towards the portal again.

"Why is she moving so slowly?" Ribombee asked curiously, almost desperately.

"She's covered completely in string-shot, while carrying a thirty centimetre pumpkin in her hands," Magikarp explained in a lofty tone. "If the portal closes, they will both be trapped there, and the string-shot will be snipped before Zoroark can pull them back in. Foolish Mimikyu."

"She's going to make it," Banette murmured desperately, mentally willing Mimikyu onwards as she too another staggering step.

"We can make them move faster!" Zoroark cried out, noticing Lycanroc getting up to chase after Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu. "They're still connected to this string-shot! Just help me pull them up!"

Without hesitating, all Pokémon, except for Magikarp, grabbed onto the small Wurmple, lined up in a chain as they heaved backwards.

As they continued pulling Zoroark backwards, Mimikyu's pace quickened, her feet almost skidding across the ground as the rope that was attached to her pulled her forwards.

Lycanroc, though, was not giving up. He dived towards Mimikyu, his claws outstretched. She ducked down, but it was too late; the claws scored along her back, sending her hurtling to the ground.

"Pull her in!" Lucario called, grimacing as he strained his muscles, pulling the string-shot with all his might. His team-members followed suit, clinging onto each other and moving back as quickly as they could, heaving Mimikyu out of Lycanroc's grasp.

They were making fast progress, extracting several metres of the silky rope through the crackling portal. The strain on the rope lifted as Mimikyu managed to stumble to her feet, before her and Pumpkaboo were heaved out of the portal, falling through in a tangle of limbs.

Before Lycanroc had the chance to leap through the portal after them, Musharna and Meowstic banished the portal with a yelp, collapsing onto the ground, drained of their energy. The portal had disappeared, and their group was once again reunited. They all cheered together, embracing in a hug, with even Magikarp daintily leaning against Primarina.

"Thank you, dear Mimikyu," Pumpkaboo praised, grinning proudly. "That was an honourable rescue indeed! And now… we shall feast!"

She raised the box of biscuits, and they all cheered once again, still exhilarated. Musharna and Meowstic, despite their exhaustion, managed to crack a grin, and Zoroark, who was no longer a Wurmple, was chuckling as she wiped away threads of silk from her body.

"Not so fast, you guys."

The team turned to find Stunfisk glaring at them, a snarl stretched across her lips.

"Stunfisk…" Lucario gasped. "I need to talk to you-"

"That box of biscuits belong to the Groudons," Stunfisk snapped, ignoring Lucario. "I say that you give it back or face my wrath."

Suddenly, the Kyogres snickered.

"What are you going to do, Stunfisk?" Meowstic quipped. "Start a new cult called 'Kyogres are Bastards?''

"Probably," Stunfisk answered with a grin. "Or… I can stun you with my beauty."

Suddenly, a wave of electricity was fired from the ground-type, reaching towards the Kyogres at an incredibly rapid pace.

"Thunder Wave," Magikarp growled. "She knows Thunder Wave."

They all exchanged gasps of surprise, before Banette cried out.

"RUN!"

Just before the bolts of electricity could reach them, they had all burst into a furious sprint towards the forest.

Lucario remained behind though, watching with dismay as his body began to stiffen with paralysis when the Thunder Wave hit him.

"Wow," Lucario began weakly. "Looks like your beauty has paralysed me, Stunfisk."

He watched the ground-type carefully, looking for any sort of glint in her eyes that would hint that there was something between them. Though he saw a quick flicker of longing and guilt, it was quickly replaced with a haughty glare.

"Of course you have been," Stunfisk snarled. "My beauty tends to do that. It's a wonder that you mistook me for being beastly in the first place."

"I had meant badass," Lucario insisted. "Not beastly. I'm, um, sorry for that."

Stunfisk watched Lucario with wide eyes, her heart hammering as her brain swam with thoughts. Now was her chance; no one was around to see her, and she could easily use Attract on Lucario. She couldn't deny how much she enjoyed his constant waves of affection towards her, his kindness, his graciousness.

But that wasn't really him, was it?

Or perhaps it was him, but it wasn't for her.

You're so terrible, Stunfisk. Why must you be so terrible?

The words that Skitty had told her suddenly echoed in her head, blanketing over all of her thoughts.

No, she couldn't use Attract on him. She could lie to herself all she wanted, but she couldn't let others do the lying for her, even if Lucario had seemed almost willing to do it.

"Stunfisk?" Lucario asked, attempting to move his head slightly to bore his eyes into hers. "Are you okay?"

She turned away furiously. "I'm fine."

"I was just wondering…" Lucario trailed off, sounding sheepish. "Was there ever something between us? Because, according to Meowstic, there was something going on, but I can't recall a thing. It was like waking up from a hangover or something."

"There was nothing," she snapped, already beginning to slither away. "Nothing at all."

She turned around one last time, and instantly regretted doing so; she couldn't bear to see the disappointed and hurt expression that lingered on Lucario's face.

"Nothing at all?" Lucario asked once more, incredulously.

She tried not to feel so bad for lying. After all, she had spent her entire life lying to herself and others. What difference did one more lie make?

Shaking her head, she started trailing away once again.

"Nothing at all."

0000

"I'll never know when a girl is trying to hit on me," Lucario began. "I will never know when she is trying to tell me to piss off in a nice way. But I will know when a girl is lying to me."

He narrowed his eyes.

"And Stunfisk was definitely lying about something."

0000

Storming forwards, Golisopod had his fists clenched as he marched towards the forest, in pursuit of the band of Kyogres that had taken away their food rations.

Behind him was Absol, scuttling hastily. "Remind me again," Absol panted. "As to why we are abandoning all out other biscuit boxes to chase after these guys?"

"Because they stole our food," Golisopod told him. "So they deserve punishment, and we deserve to get our food back before we starve."

"Right…" Absol hesitantly responded. "So… we kill them."

"Yes."

They continued in silence, before Absol, awkwardly wanting to initiate a conversation, spoke.

"So, Golisopod, what do you hope to achieve in life?"

"The purpose of life is to die," Golisopod curtly answered in a clipped tone. "Isn't that what everyone strives for?"

Absol gasped. "Absol-utely not! There is so much more to life than dying, Golisopod. Come on, dude, brighten up. For example, memes. Memes are worth living for."

Ignoring the dark-type, Golisopod kept going forwards.

"Besides," Absol grumbled. "By the sounds of it, your purpose in life isn't just to die; it's to die as angrily as possible."

"Absol! Hurry your ass up!"

"I'm hurrying my ass up!"

"We're being chased," Meowstic informed the big group, glancing back hastily. "Golisopod and Absol aren't too far behind us."

"We should split up," Primarina suggested. "It might help us get away with the food."

Banette shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea. No offence, but some of us, like Pumpkaboo, Mimikyu and Magikarp, can barely run off on our own. Besides, we can't let one Pokémon have the food - we all need to have some. Otherwise one of us will fall unconscious and we will lose the challenge."

"So what do we do?" Mimikyu asked.

"I'll stay back and fend them off," Meowstic offered. "The rest of you can get away."

Zoroark raised her arm. "I'll help-"

"No, you won't," Meowstic refuted. "We kind of need you to carry Pumpkaboo and Magikarp, especially since we've lost Lucario. It's better that you keep running with them."

"I'll stay and help, then," Ribombee volunteered shyly. "If Mimikyu can be brave enough to jump into a portal to the Groudons territory, I can be brave enough to fight off Absol."

"And Golisopod," Meowstic added, eyebrow arched.

Ribombee gulped. "... And Golisopod."

After a brief, silent agreement, the rest of the group continued running down the forest, leaving Ribombee and Meowstic behind. It only took moments for Absol and Golisopod to appear.

"Let's get them," Golisopod muttered, stepping forwards.

"Careful, Golisopod," Meowstic mused. "If you're going to battle us, make sure you actually know how to battle first."

Absol's face paled as he watched Golisopod growl with fury, his eyes darting furiously between Meowstic and Ribombee as if he were ready to bowl them over.

"Absol?" Golisopod barked.

"Yessir!"

Golisopod's eyes widened slightly, before giving the dark-type a sceptical look. "You don't need to be scared of me, you know."

"No?"

The arthropod tried to give an easy grin to his teammate. "I just want you to know that you should fight dirty and go for the face. Gentlemen's rules are for gentlemen."

"And you're not gentlemen?" Ribombee asked them.

"No, we're savages," Absol answered, though hesitantly.

Meowstic grinned. "Clearly."

With that, Meowstic spun and fired a Psybeam at Absol's eyes, temporarily blinding him. Quick as a flash, he had his fist clenched, burying a Sucker Punch near Golisopod's groin, sending the arthropod doubling-over in pain.

"See, that's the thing about Pokémon battles in the games," Meowstic sighed, backing off. "They fail to mention where the punches hit. Maybe that's why some moves are a critical hit; because they hit a critical area, if you know what I mean."

Ribombee, swallowing his terror, threw himself into the thick of the brawl, aiming a Dazzling Gleam towards Golisopod. The blow instantly hit the arthropod, but Golisopod reached out and grabbed onto Ribombee as he fell to the ground, the momentum pushing them both forwards.

The two of them tussled on the ground, with Golisopod using his weight to his advantage. He pressed Ribombee to the ground with a beefy arm.

"Where is the food?" Golisopod asked roughly.

"I don't know…" Ribombee managed to gasp.

Golisopod wasn't taking that as an answer, though. "I said, where is the food?" he repeated.

Dizzy from the action, Ribombee felt an increasing pang of impatience smother over him, forcing his eyes to narrow with frustration as he answered the arthropod.

"Wow," Meowstic called from above, watching the pair brawl on the floor. To Ribombee's amusement, it seemed as if Meowstic was using Absol as a horse, riding on the dark-type's back. "If Golisopod didn't look like he wanted to kill you, I would have thought something juicy was happening down there."

Suddenly, an idea struck Ribombee.

"G-Golisopod?" Ribombee asked tentatively, his cheeks blushing timidly. "Can I… can I kiss you?" Without waiting for a response, Ribombee puckered his lips, reaching over to smooch Golisopod.

The arthropod immediately began backing away. "The fuck?"

Ribombee had already planted his lips onto Golisopod's head, though, and suddenly, Golisopod felt his energy drain away from him, collapsing onto the ground.

Meowstic and Absol froze their hysterics, watching as Ribombee's kiss sent Golisopod falling unconscious.

"Wow…" Absol murmured. "You really swept him off his feet with that kiss."

"Seriously, dude," Meowstic added, nodding with amazement. "You need to teach me how to kiss." After a wince, he said, "I didn't mean that in the way that it sounded."

Ribombee smiled sheepishly. "Draining Kiss."

"Oh!" Absol exclaimed with understanding.

"And here I thought it was the start of an ambiguous gay relationship," Meowstic chuckled, before reaching out and slapping Absol with a Fake Out.

Stunned by the move, Absol froze suddenly, and Meowstic grabbed Ribombee by the arm.

"Quick! Let's run!"

0000

"Poor Golisopod," Meowstic sympathised, bending over with laughter. "He's going to feel exactly like Lucario did; except he'll probably remember being kissed by Ribombee, and that'll be the last memory he had before he knocked himself unconscious."

His eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Oh, Arceus, maybe I can convince him that he and Ribombee had a one-night-stand!"

0000

"Alright!" Noctowl called out, her feathers ruffled. "Who did it?"

Salazzle gave her a lazy glance. "Did what?"

"Took the biscuits!" she answered, looking horrified. "The food… It's all gone!"

"Didn't we have Lycanroc looking after it?" Incineroar asked, peering over to see whether the food had really disappeared. "Where the fuck is he, anyways?"

Suddenly, Lycanroc stumbled into the area, flabbergasted. "They were there… Then there was blue… A portal… And gone!"

"Oh dear," Noctowl sighed. "He's talking nonsense again."

Salazzle propped a hand onto her hip. "Lycanroc, where did the food go? The only food we had left for our team?"

"Pumpkaboo and Mimikyu took it!" Lycanroc exclaimed, raising his hands in surrender.

"They can't have," Incineroar snorted. "They didn't even come in our base through the entrance, which is the only way through seeing that our base is basically a cave. You're lying."

Noctowl glared at Lycanroc, moving forwards. "Lycanroc, where is our food?"

She, Salazzle and Incineroar began circling around the wolf, their eyes narrowed with suspicion.

His face contorting with fear, Lycanroc threw his hands up with alarm.

"I swear to Lord Magikarp, it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!"

Suddenly, they all backed off.

0000

"Huh…" Incineroar grunted. "He can speak normally."

0000

"I can't believe someone managed to take the food which I had organised so neatly!" Noctowl burst out, devastated. "That's it. I'm creating and leading an army. We're going to war."

0000

Lurantis was sitting atop a tree branch, leaning lazily against the trunk as he watched the chaos and turmoil of the cast around him from a distance.

"Having fun up there?"

He glanced down, frowning at the disruption, before grinning to find that it was only Espeon.

"Espeon," he stated. "I don't suppose you happen to be carrying a portable chessboard, are you?" He leapt down from the tree, his brow arched.

"I hate to break it to you, Lurantis," Espeon sighed apologetically. "But I've got a new chess partner."

Lurantis clucked his tongue. "Shame."

"But," she continued, watching the grass-type with analytical eyes. "I happened to hear that you have an immunity picture in your possession."

"That is correct, yes."

Espeon grinned. "I came to offer you a trade." She pulled out a sack, filled with berries, and threw it in front of her. "I collected a hell load of berries. You give me the immunity, and I'll give you the berries."

Feeling his stomach growl at the sight of the food, Lurantis frowned. "Why would I want a mere sack of berries in return for immunity?"

"Because it'll make you a martyr," Espeon explained. "You can feed your team with this. You may be the reason your team wins, even. They wouldn't need to vote you out, nor would you need the immunity. You'd be their hero. You were their hero last challenge, when you found the hidden intentions behind the Ditto, but this would solidify their beliefs even more."

"Why don't you do that?" Lurantis retorted. "You give your team the berries, and bask in the praise they give you for feeding them, and leave me with the immunity? It's equally as ideal a situation for you as it is for me. You wouldn't need the immunity if you had the berries."

Espeon shook her head. "The immunity isn't for me, though."

"Who's it for, then?"

"A friend."

Lurantis grinned, bemused. "You've made a friend, have you?"

"Yeah," Espeon drawled. "Crazy, right?"

"Does this 'friend' of yours happen to also be your new chess partner?"

Espeon nodded her head, her expression blank.

"Lord have mercy on your new friend, then," Lurantis snickered, before throwing the photo at her. "Take it. Consider it a thank you for saving me from having to be babysat by Nanny Pancham for a full day."

Grinning brightly, Espeon lunged for the image before stalking off.

0000

"It may have been a stupid decision," Lurantis pointed out. "But Espeon would make a good member of a future alliance. It would be better to stay on her good side."

He opened the sack of berries, and suddenly froze, his grin immediately transforming into a scowl.

"They're fucking Iapapa berries!"

0000

Espeon was grinning proudly. "Iapapa berries confuse everyone except for Pokémon who like sour food. I thought it was apt, seeing what a sour Pokémon Lurantis himself is. But if he gives it to anyone else in his team, they'll all probably be a confused, chaotic mess for the rest of the challenge."

0000

Zoroark, Banette, Magikarp, Mimikyu, Musharna, Primarina and Pumpkaboo sat in a circle, relishing the sugary flavour as the biscuits disintegrated into little crumbs on their tongues.

"Food is so much more delicious when it's stolen," Pumpkaboo declared, her words barely audible with the food in her mouth.

"And when you're eating it with your gal pals," Banette agreed.

Magikarp cleared his throat.

"Wait, what are you, anyways?" Primarina asked. "Because, everyone says you're a he, but I remember there was a point in time where you were only called It."

"I am the Lord," Magikarp responded. "That is all you need to know."

Zoroark shrugged. "Welcome to the Gal Pal Club, then. Enjoy your stay. Most guys would kill for this opportunity."

"Especially Lucario," Mimikyu added with a cheeky grin. "What was up with him and Stunfisk?"

"Not sure," Pumpkaboo confessed. "Maybe Musharna knows. Musharna? What's up between Stunfisk and Lucario?"

Musharna blinked. "Oh…? Who…?"

"Stunfisk and Lucario."

"..."

"She's sleeping."

Primarina smiled sympathetically. "I can hardly blame her. She must be exhausted after all that portal work-"

"Shhh!" Banette suddenly hushed everyone, straining her ears. "I think I hear someone."

Two voices were bickering to the side, and the group quickly hid behind the nearest undergrowth, leaning in to listen.

"Noctowl, this is absurd," Haxorus began. "They've probably already eaten the biscuits, so maybe we shouldn't go finding them."

"But I spent so long organising those biscuits," Noctowl protested. "Besides, we can't just stay back and defend the base - there is no food left to defend! We have to step up and go find some food."

Haxorus nodded. "Actually, fair enough. I would kill for some food right now. Especially some ice-cream, because goodness, the way it just melts in your mouth-"

"It's ice-cream. Isn't it supposed to melt?"

Banette gave her group a pointed look. "They're getting closer. We have to run-"

Just as she said it, Pumpkaboo had tripped against a branch, tumbling onto Musharna, who was stretching languorously. All of them winced as Pumpkaboo and Musharna fell to the ground with a thump, the sound deafeningly loud.

"What was that?" Noctowl hissed.

Zoroark grimaced, scooping Magikarp, Mimikyu and Pumpkaboo from the ground. "Let's go."

"I'll stay..."

They all turned to face Musharna, who was straightening up her posture. "I'll distract them… You guys run…"

"I'll stay, too," Banette offered.

"Me too!" Pumpkaboo insisted, but Zoroark clamped a hand over her mouth.

"You're injured," Zoroark pointed out. "Not a chance."

Exchanging a glance with Banette, Zoroark stood up with the three Pokémon in her arms, before darting away. Primarina followed suit, offering to hold Magikarp.

Banette stood up and squared her shoulders.

"Is that you, Banette?" Haxorus asked, squinting as she began to approach the ghost-type. "And Musharna? Isn't it… um… past your bedtime?"

Musharna blinked. "It's always past my bedtime…"

"Well…" Noctowl began, frowning. "Do you have my food?"

"Yep!" Banette answered, pointing at her stomach. "Right here."

Noctowl's face fell. "My… precious… organising." Taking a deep breath to compose herself, she smiled. "Okay. Let's kill them, Haxorus."

Her wing began to glow, ready to unleash a Wing Attack, when suddenly, Musharna came flying out of the shadows, aiming a Psybeam that sent Haxorus dropping to the ground in a scrambled mess to dodge.

Musharna clung onto Haxorus, though, attempting to use Hypnosis.

"Get off!" Haxorus howled, her claws glowing as she scratched Musharna with a Dragon Claw. Musharna felt a flare of pain as the claws scratched her skin, but clung on doggedly.

Suddenly, Noctowl swooped from above, grabbing Musharna with her talons and throwing her off Haxorus.

"Are you alright?" Noctowl asked her friend, eyes brimming with concern.

Haxorus waved away the concern. "I'm good. Let's just-" She froze suddenly, her eyes widening as she watched Musharna and Banette stand together, they eyes closed with focus as a pink beam left their arms.

Gasping with horror, she realised that they were both aiming a Dazzling Gleam straight for her and Noctowl. The two beams combined, becoming a thick beam of light, sparking with power.

"RUN! WE NEED TO RUN!" Haxorus shrieked, reaching out and grabbing Noctowl by the wing.

Noctowl shook her head stubbornly. "No! I am not giving in! I will avenge my organisation skills-" she yelped as a beam of Dazzling Gleam just narrowly missed her head.

Without another word, Haxorus clasped onto Noctowl's talons and began dragging the bird away, sprinting as fast as she could away into the depths of the forest.

Musharna and Banette exhaled deeply, before exchanging exhausted but relieved grins with each other.

"For someone with stubby hands, they have lots of power!" Banette praised.

Musharna tilted her head. "Oh…? Did you say something…?"

"I said you have great hands!"

"No, I do not have prostate glands… Sorry…"

0000

Banette huffed. "When you try your best, but you don't succeed…"

0000

Buneary scampered around with a basket, sighing as she bent down to pick up Oran berries from the nearest shrub. Froslass had offered to come with her, but she refused the offer with a glare.

After all, Froslass had been the one in the way of her and Gastly's friendship, had she not?

"If only Gastly was still here," she murmured, almost fondly. "He was a brilliant cook. He'd be able to make us food from thin air."

She smiled at the thought of him, but wiped the grin from her face immediately.

Every time she thought of him, she'd feel a pang of agony in her stomach, and though she was pretty sure she had deciphered exactly what emotion she was feeling, she couldn't help but wonder why she was feeling it.

Guilt.

Like it was her fault.

Sighing again, she moved onto the next shrub.

"This is the problem with ghost-types," she muttered. "Even when they're gone, they haunt you."

"Fresh meat, hoo hah hah!" Tor chanted, circling around Skitty, his face malicious.

Egg frowned. "Isn't it Shark Bait, hoo hah hah…?"

"Stick to the script, Egg," Ex sighed.

From the side, Stunfisk and Espeon were watching as the Egg Brothers continued to encircle Skitty, the poor feline's eyes wide with worry.

"We need to save her," Stunfisk whispered.

Espeon arched a brow. "Since when did you become so protective over your own team-members?"

"She helped me back when I was struggling with Lucario," Stunfisk explained. "And she talked some sense into me a few nights ago. I owe her this much."

"We shouldn't do this, Stunfisk. Those Egg Brothers are suspicious as fuck already, and I doubt we'd be able to save her without causing more chaos."

Stunfisk frowned. "But look at them! They look so hungry, they might eat her!" She wrenched herself away from Espeon, and immediately began barging forwards.

The air was electric as she stormed up, the sun almost set, with the sky the dark blue of winter dusk. As she approached closer, her eyes widened as she took in the scene.

Skitty was being held on the block by Exeggutor, who was kneeling beside her prone figure. Worse, the Exeggutor was already aiming a Wood Hammer towards Skitty.

Stunfisk reacted instinctively, spitting a blob of mud that took Exeggutor right in the gut and blasted them off their feet. As they collapsed onto the ground, Espeon sprinted in and kicked Tor in the side of his head with a sharp crack, knocking him out cold.

Despite this, the palm tree stood up tall, with Egg and Ex still conscious. They charged forwards, throwing a Seed Bomb at Espeon and sending her down to the ground. Before Exeggutor could aim at Stunfisk, though, Espeon had stretched her leg out, watching with amusement as the tree tripped over her paws and fell to the ground.

The band over Exeggutor's head began to glow again, and within seconds, they were already up again, advancing toward Stunfisk. Blanching, the ground-type stepped backwards, panicking.

"You can do it, Stunfisk!" Skitty chirped rather cheerfully for someone who was tied to a wooden block. "Sic 'em!"

Stunfisk smiled at the thought, and released a thunder bolt towards Exeggutor. It landed, shocking them, their body swinging back and forth until it collapsed right onto Skitty.

The small feline struggled wildly beneath them, hissing as she realised her tail was buried beneath the body of the Egg Brothers.

Stunfisk helped Skitty release her tail, but as she was doing so, the side of her head erupted in pain and she was sent rolling back. Exeggutor's face swam into focus, foot raised, ready to stomp.

"We're about to make you even more ugly," Tor spat. "If that's even possible."

Ex pouted. "There is no such thing as ugly-"

"You're right," Tor suddenly agreed. "No such thing as being ugly when you're dead!"

"Then explain this to me!" A voice cried out from behind, and Stunfisk watched with admiration as Skitty used Feint on Exeggutor, the stooges screaming as they landed on the ground with a thud, the wind knocking out of their gut.

Stunfisk and Skitty began running towards the exit, when they heard Exeggutor speak again.

"Not… so… fast…" one of the murmured, before beginning to source a solar beam.

Espeon jumped in front of Stunfisk and Skitty in a flash, creating a barrier between them through the use of the move Protect. The beam slammed into the wall, and to the girls' relief, the barrier held.

"Let's go!" Stunfisk ordered, and the three of them continued running, not daring to turn back.

0000

Stunfisk was panting, her mouth gaping open as she gasped for air. "I… did not… sign up for this…"

0000

"That should be enough berries to last our team a full week," Buneary declared with an exhausted sigh, straightening up as she picked up her basket. As she turned, though, her eyes locked with both Primarina and Magikarp, their faces lighting up with recognition.

They careened towards Magikarp, and cradling the basket close to her chest, Buneary scowled.

"Do you guys really think you can take on me?"

Primarina smiled. "Well, depends on the methods. Right, Magikarp?"

"Correct, indeed."

Suddenly, a large wave began to rise behind Primarina, and Buneary gasped as she backed away.

"Surf?" Buneary spat. "How can you use surf in the middle of a forest? Where does the water even come from?"

"We don't talk about logic here," Primarina answered with a wink.

Then, the wave began to crash towards Buneary.

The bunny didn't think twice before running, jostling past the trees and turning towards the nearest pathway she could find. Then, she stopped short, her heart hammering in her chest.

It was a dead end.

She could already hear Primarina and Magikarp's voices, with the sound of angry waves soaring behind the voices. As she turned, she gulped to see the wave of water just above her, ready to crash down-

"Not under my watch, no."

Suddenly, as the voice behind her whispered that, the wave of water froze in mid-air, beginning to solidify into ice. The ice not only layered over the water, but also spread over the Primarina and Magikarp, freezing them into place. Buneary reached out and tapped the ice, her jaw dropping as she turned around.

"Froslass?" she asked, dismayed.

The ice-type smiled at her. "That's my name."

"No, it's your species."

"Same thing."

They stared at each other awkwardly.

"Are you hurt?" Froslass asked gently.

"Oh, so we're playing nice now?" Buneary suddenly asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Shall we have tea now? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?"

Froslass arched a brow. "Look, I know you're probably upset with me, but…"

"This is no time for worrying about who is upset," Buneary cut off, shrugging. "We have a challenge to finish. Let's go give these berries to our team members."

"Contestants!" Shaymin's voice called over the loudspeaker. "You should know that there is a pillar in the middle of our island! On that pillar is a large platter of food!"

"It's definitely a trap," Haxorus told Noctowl, as the pair rested on the ground, exhausted from sprinting away from Musharna and Banette. "There will be lots of Pokémon there, and it'll end up being a bloodbath."

Noctowl nodded in agreement. "And that'll be a bigger mess to clean up."

However, several Pokémon had arrived at the pillar immediately: Salazzle, Espeon, Meowstic and Zoroark.

"The rules are simple," Shaymin explained to the four, who were greedily glancing at the top of the pillar. "First Pokémon to the top has to stay there for ten seconds. If they manage to stay up there, you win the big buffet for your team to eat." She gestured towards the sun, which was already beginning to sink into the ground. "And since most of you haven't eaten all day, it's only a matter of moments before someone falls unconscious."

Meowstic, using his levitation ability, was already zipping towards the pillar. Even Zoroark had transformed herself into Shaymin, flying up towards the top.

"Oh, shit," Salazzle muttered towards Espeon. "Seriously? The two Pokémon who can't fly from our team just happen to be the ones to come."

"Doesn't matter," Espeon dismissed. Her eyes locking on Zoroark, the air shivered as Espeon used Psychic, using it to knock Zoroark out of the air, the dark-type tumbling into the rocks below.

Salazzle seized the opportunity to gallop through the rocks, dodging as Meowstic frantically shot a Psybeam at her from above. The sand erupted around her, and rocks shattered, sending razor sharp shards exploding like shrapnel.

As Salazzle took a flying leap towards the pillar, Zoroark sent a blast of Dark Pulse towards her, hitting the reptile and sending her rolling behind a rocky outcrop near the pillar's base. Salazzle groaned as the dull throb of pain resonated through her body.

Meowstic himself had already landed on the ground, preferring to be on the floor safely rather than exposed to all sorts of attacks in the air.

Remembering the communication device attached to her, Salazzle spoke to Espeon through it.

"I need you to somehow get rid of Meowstic and Zoroark," the reptile whispered furiously. "They can fly up there, and I can't."

Salazzle froze then, seeing an Unfazent right in front of her, crouching silently under the overhang of a large rock. Salazzle grinned; there was no Unfazent in this competition.

"Hey Zoroark," Salazzle breathed, before feeling fire roil behind her tongue. Suddenly, she unleashed a flamethrower at the Zoroark, catching her in a whirlwind of fire, crashing against the face of a rock.

"That's one cooked turkey!" Meowstic hooted from above.

Zoroark glared at him as a stone trapped her to the ground. "Screw you!"

They all glanced up to see that Meowstic was already at the top of the pillar, peeking over the far ledge.

Salazzle was already racing towards the pillar, but she wasn't going to make it in time. Espeon had tried using Psychic on Meowstic to knock him off, but she could barely angle her move past the rocks that barricaded her sight.

"Ten, nine, eight…" Meowstic counted.

Espeon hissed at him. Gritting her teeth, she summoned all the energy she could, not releasing it until she was certain of its strength.

"Seven, six, five…" Meowstic continued, barely disguising his glee.

Espeon howled before firing a Psybeam, the air above her distorting and shaking.

"Four, three, two…" Meowstic's pace had quickened as he saw the beam approaching him, unsure of how to dodge the attack without falling off the pillar.

The beam hurled him off the pillar, and the top of the pillar shattered like porcelain, blasting Meowstic away in a roaring maelstrom of dust and splinters of stone.

Salazzle darted up the pillar, then, leaping onto the tray of food before it could fly off the remaining bits of the pillar. She clung onto it, but knew that she was safe. Both Zoroark and Meowstic were far too injured to reach her.

"And the food goes to the Groudons!" Shaymin announced. "But the challenge isn't over yet. We still need someone to fall unconscious, someone who hasn't been knocked unconscious by someone from the enemy team."

Salazzle whooped, and winked at Espeon, who rolled her eyes but smirked.

0000

"Goddammit," Espeon groaned. "Why do people have to be so goofy all the time?"

0000

"That looks delicious," Haxorus praised, holding her belly. "I can't wait to eat it!"

"Neither can I!" Noctowl agreed, grabbing a small container of oil. "What's this? Is it supposed to be salad dressing?"

The container cracked in her talons, the lid breaking. Noctowl winced and quickly put the container back down, hoping that no one noticed the broken lid.

"Incineroar, Lycanroc and Shroomish are missing," Absol pointed out, frowning. "Should we wait for them?"

"You can do that," Buneary stated. "I'm going to eat. I'm starved-"

Stunfisk shook her head. "No. First we must pray, then eat."

"I never realised you were religious," Froslass said with a smirk. "I always thought you worshipped yourself, and that was about it."

"I always pray when I eat," Stunfisk informed her. "How else will Arceus Above know how grateful I am for being so gorgeous?"

Froslass deadpanned, and Stunfisk chuckled slightly.

"Don't worry, I'm only kidding. Let's eat!"

"Okay, troops," Pumpkaboo was saying, calling out to the rest of her team. Somehow, they had managed to gather their entire team, except a frozen Magikarp and Primarina, and were all standing outside the base of the Groudons. "Those guys inside have managed to get themselves a feast. But we can go inside and steal their buffet from them. The food shall be ours, and we shall reign!"

The Kyogres cheered slightly to spark some motivation. Unbeknownst to them, however, Incineroar, Lycanroc and Shroomish were watching from the side.

"They're going to try getting our food," Incineroar hissed, pointing at the Kyogres.

"I know," Shroomish replied. "They look like they're ready to perform an execution."

Lycanroc clenched his fists, his body tensing as if he were about to jump. "Let's fight them!"

"No!" Shroomish cried out, alarmed. "There's too many of them. First we have to see what they want and need."

At the same time, the three of them heard Ribombee speak.

"So, what's the plan, anyways?"

"We're going to set them on fire," Pumpkaboo chirped, grinning. "A few of us know some fire-type moves, we we're going to go in, ambush them and burn their food to bits. They won't have anything to eat."

Shroomish's jaw dropped, and he turned to Lycanroc and Incineroar. "Did you guys hear that?"

"I'm right next to you," Incineroar gruffly replied. "Of course I heard it."

"They're going to set the place on fire!" Lycanroc exclaimed.

Incineroar eyed the Kyogres, his eyes calculating. "We need to warn our team-members. The telecommunication devices-"

"I'm trying that right now, but no one has theirs switched on. They already think we've won or something," Shroomish explained, shaking his head. "We're the only three who still have theirs on."

A broad grin spread up Lycanroc's face. "I have an idea.

Incineroar and Shroomish exchanged concerned looks.

"Uh-oh."

0000

"Lycanroc's plan…" Incineroar began, rubbing his forehead. "It's genius!"

0000

"Lycanroc's plan is terrible!" Shroomish burst, his features contorted with frustration. "Why do I have to be the guinea pig?"

Shroomish frowned. "Seriously? Seriously? Just because I'm small and tiny, doesn't mean I can be used as some sort of sacrificial lamb!"

0000

"This is a terrible idea," Shroomish groaned, but Lycanroc and Incineroar were no longer listening.

Incineroar slapped Lycanroc's back proudly. "Okay, so all Shroomish has to do is sneak through the Kyogres and get into our base, and make sure everyone in our base knows."

"I can't believe you expect me to sneak through a bunch of Pokémon. Just because I'm small, doesn't mean I'm subtle-"

It was too late for his argument, though. Lycanroc and Incineroar had already burst out of the bushes, beginning to brawl several of the Pokémon there.

"At least I'm not the distraction," Shroomish sighed, before hobbling out of the bushes. He winced as he saw Incineroar slam a fist into Pumpkaboo's face, but continued running into the cave, hoping that no one saw him.

It only took him moments to reach his group, who were seated in a circle, holding hands and… praying?

"Um, guys?" he called out.

"Shhh!" Haxorus hissed. "We're praying."

Shroomish exchanged a confused look with Espeon, who merely shrugged. "Don't ask me."

"Okay, then," Shroomish said. "I hate to break your prayer circle, but we really need to get out of here, otherwise-"

"Be quiet, Shroomish," Haxorus repeated again. "We're praying."

His eyes narrowing, Shroomish felt his patience snap. He dragged himself to the centre of the circle, and released a Seed Bomb, aiming it towards the ceiling.

The rocks from the ceiling began to tomb down, forcing everyone to snap open their eyes.

"What is it?" Absol asked hastily. "What was that for?"

"THE KINKY KYOGRES ARE OUTSIDE OUR BASE AND ARE PLANNING ON SETTING YOU ALL ON FIRE!" Shroomish yelled, panting. "WE NEED TO RUN!"

The rest of the Groudons exchanged understanding looks. "Ohhhhh…"

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Golisopod snapped. "RUN!"

They all began to rush out of the cavern, and just as they did, the Kyogres had finally managed to overpower Lycanroc and Incineroar, tossing them onto the ground before running into the cave.

The two teams met halfway, the Kyogres attempting to snatch the food from the Groudons hands, and the Groudons trying to hurtle past them.

"Give me thy salad!" Pumpkaboo demanded, glaring at Noctowl.

Noctowl smiled weakly, before handing over a bowl of salad. Her smile widened, then. "Would you also like some olive oil with that?"

"That would be lovely, thank you," Pumpkaboo answered, smiling triumphantly as Noctowl handed her a small container.

"Shake it well," Noctowl told her.

Pumpkaboo did exactly that. However, she hadn't expected the lid to be broken, and the lid fell off immediately, the oil splattering across her face.

"My eyes!" Pumpkaboo growled.

0000

"Aha!" Noctowl cheered. "Sweet, sweet revenge! No one takes my organised biscuits!"

0000

The Groudons had managed to escape the cave, however, they were being chased by the Kyogres at their heel, the hunger for food driving them forwards.

Lurantis had locked his eyes onto Krokorok, and was chasing the reptile mercilessly.

"You've already taken away my immunity!" Krokorok cried out. "Leave my buns alone!"

Lurantis winced. "Please, phrase that a little better next time."

"At yeast he tried," Garchomp murmured, before grimacing herself. "Okay, I'll leave the puns for Skitty. That was awful."

"Garchomp," Lurantis greeted. "Here to help me get food off Krokorok?"

Garchomp shook her head, grinning. "Nope. I'm here to help him escape."

"Wha-"

"I challenge you, Lurantis, to a battle."

Lurantis snickered. "We're on the same team. I'd hardly call this an appropriate time to-"

The dragon-type ignored him, leaning against the pillar. "Don't tell me that you're a coward."

"It's called common sense," Lurantis drawled, but his eye was twitching with frustration.

"It's called being an embarrassment on live television, where your family and friends in the mafia can see you failing to stand up for yourself."

Garchomp grinned as she saw the calm slate that was Lurantis's face turn into something more vicious as he reached out and lunged forwards.

The first blow came from him, a Leaf Blade, which whistled around the corner, chopping at Garchomp's legs. Garchomp caught it with her scythe, before cutting at Lurantis's head. The grass-type ducked, leaving the blow to crunch into the pillar.

Scowling, Lurantis stepped further out and came at her head on, feinting another Leaf Blade around the pillar at Garchomp's head, then sweeping again for the legs. Garchomp leaped, letting the blade whistle under her feet. Landing in a crouch, she punched out and caught Lurantis on the cheek with a Dragon Claw, knocking the grass-type back a few paces.

They glared at each other, panting.

"You're going to regret this," Lurantis snarled, gesturing at the audience that was beginning to surround them. "Our team will see that you care more about your personal brawls than the goodwill of our team."

Garchomp ignored him, but a cold sweat trickled down her back.

Lurantis reached out and stabbed at Garchomp's stomach, but Garchomp caught the scythe in her own, forcing it to the ground. They struggled, chest to chest, until Garchomp glanced up at the sky, then whipped her head forwards, smashing Lurantis on the bridge of his nose with a head-butt. Lurantis stumbled, and then fell, flailing, over the side.

"Give up, Lurantis," Garchomp told him. "I know what you did to Charizard and Vespiquen."

Suddenly, the grass-type stood up, grinning as he swung his scythe. To Garchomp's surprise, he aimed his Leaf Blade towards the pillar, with chunks of clay crumbling from it as he continued to hit it.

"You give up, Garchomp."

There was no time for Garchomp to even respond. With a crack, the pillar began to collapse in on itself, hairline fractures spreading up the column like forked lightning.

With seconds to spare, Garchomp leaped away, rolling into a crouch on the sand, the pillar crashing beside her, sending a storm of ceramic dust into the air.

She could see nothing except for dust, but forced herself to focus. A shadow went by on her left; was it Lurantis? Or someone else?

Suddenly, Lurantis burst from the dusty haze, swinging down hard. Just in time, Garchomp dodged aside, feeling the Leaf Blade graze against her arm. Before she had to chance to fight back, Lurantis disappeared again, blending into the dusty gloom.

She spun around, looking for the shadow once more, jerking up as she saw a figure move from her peripheral vision. She squinted, watching, as the dull figure raised its arm. A rock came flying out of the fog, cracking her on the forehead. Stars burst across her vision, and she was on her back, staring into the billowing dust.

Garchomp began to stand, but a foot pressed down on her throat.

"You asked for a battle, Garchomp." Lurantis's voice was faint as he spoke. "Maybe you should have thought that through first, rather than acting without thinking."

"Oh, trust me," Garchomp snarled back. "I've been thinking a lot lately."

Her hand scrabbled for a rock, anything, but all she could feel was sand. Lurantis raised his scythe, a Solar Blade ready, his grin stark white against the dust that coated his skin.

"Good night, Garchomp."

Garchomp grinned.

"Goodnight, Lurantis."

Garchomp hurled a handful of sand at Lurantis's face, causing the grass-type to clutch for his eyes and spin away, blinded. Garchomp got to her feet unsteadily, then, with her last ounce of strength, tackled Lurantis to the ground. There was a thud as the grass-type's head slammed against a rock, then silence.

Lurantis was unconscious.

"Sand attack, bitches!" Garchomp cheered, before Shaymin appeared in her view, frowning.

"Since Lurantis has been knocked unconscious, it looks like the Groudons win!"

By then, the entire cast had gathered around to see the brawl between Garchomp and Lurantis. Hearing Shaymin's announcement, Pumpkaboo's jaw dropped.

"What?" she exclaimed. "But you said that if someone is knocked unconscious by someone else, it doesn't count-"

"Nope," Shaymin refuted. "I said that it wouldn't count if someone is knocked unconscious by someone from the other team. Garchomp and Lurantis are on the same team. So… Groudons have won another challenge!"

0000

"What the fuck, Garchomp?" Meowstic asked, his mouth agape with confusion. "Was that really necessary?"

0000

Banette groaned. "Even Lurantis should know better not to fight back. What the hell was that? We literally had one job as a team! One job!"

0000

"Well," Shaymin began, sighing dramatically. "I think I can officially say that the Kinky Kyogres suck."

"I'd agree with that," Zoroark smirked.

Pumpkaboo frowned. "No! Our team is beauty, our team is grace-"

"Your team has declared you safe, Pumpkaboo," Shaymin interrupted, watching with amusement as the flower Bellossom threw smacked straight into Pumpkaboo's face. "Others who are safe include: Lucario, Banette, Primarina, Musharna, Meowstic, Zoroark, Mimikyu, Ribombee, Exeggutor and Magikarp."

The Pokémon whose names were called sat up immediately (or were carried, for Magikarp's sake), and moved to the side, leaving Garchomp and Lurantis remaining.

"You two totally screwed your team over by fighting with each other," Shaymin pointed out. "But since Garchomp initiated the fight, it's no surprise that she had nine votes, while Lurantis only had four. So Garchomp, I'm sorry, but you've been eliminated."

Garchomp sighed, and sat up, resigned. She had already begun stalking away, when she suddenly halted in her tracks.

"Wait," Garchomp said. "Before I go, can I ask you something, Shaymin?"

Shaymin nodded her head. "Um… sure?"

"Who was in this photograph with you before you ripped it in half?"

Everyone's eyes widened except for Shaymin, who squinted at the image. "Let's see… I think it was my college buddy… Victini, maybe? Or was it… Hang on a second! That's the immunity picture!"

Garchomp grinned. "Oh, it is? How lucky for me!"

"No," Lurantis scowled, leaping up. "How did you get that? I gave that to Espeon-"

"And Espeon gave it to her new chess partner," Garchomp finished, winking. "Like I said, I did think it through. I wasn't going to fight you unless I could guarantee my own safety."

The two stared at each other, and Shaymin cleared her throat.

"Well, looks like, since Garchomp is safe, Lurantis is next in line on the chopping board." She snatched the flower away from him. "Bacon Pants, the Dock of Shame awaits you."

Garchomp gave one final, innocent wave towards the mantis.

"Checkmate."

0000

"She'll regret it," Lurantis hissed. "Both her and Espeon will regret losing their best chance at getting near to the merge."

He rolled his head, sighing.

"I suppose if I had to choose anyone to win, I'd choose Magikarp. For a weak fish, he really knows how to handle this competition," he admitted. "And I would know better than anyone that looks can be deceiving."

0000

Krokorok folded his arms, trying to keep his face straight as Bellossom dragged him into her room. He found himself inside a shabby but cosy little room, with nothing but a small bed in it.

"Alright," Krokorok started. "So why did you need to invite me to your room?" He arched his brow. "We're not getting up to something naughty, are we?"

Bellossom flushed, waving away his suggestion. "No! I just needed to…" she gestured at the bed.

"You're pointing at the bed, Bellossom. That screams 'naughty' to me."

"Just look at it!"

Sighing but grinning, Krokorok turned to glance at the bed. His jaw dropped when he saw the small Ditto there, smiling goofily at him.

"Are you my daddy?"

Krokorok nearly fell over. "Wait, no, little Ditto? I thought Shaymin had you executed!"

"She was supposed to," Bellossom explained. "But I couldn't do it. He's just a baby, Krokorok. He only wants a mother."

With that, the baby Ditto transformed into an Oddish, squealing happily as it leaped into Bellossom's arms.

"I needed to tell you, Krokorok," Bellossom said, frowning. "Just in case Shaymin makes me work, and I have no time for our little baby, I figured I could trust you to help me look after him."

Krokorok tried to pretend that he did not hear the words 'our little baby'.

"Um, sure," Krokorok replied, blinking. "If the baby needs a bed, I could keep him in my sock drawer." He chuckled when Bellossom smacked him. "I'm just kidding; relax."

Snorting back her laughter, Bellossom looked at the small Oddish affectionately. "What should we name him? I feel like it should be… symbolic."

"Pancake batter?"

"No."

"Mop bucket?"

"No."

Krokorok clucked his tongue. "We may as well name him Otto at this point, since you're being so picky-"

"Otto," Bellossom repeated.

"Yeah, like a combination of Oddish and Ditto."

Bellossom smiled.

"It's perfect! Otto, the Guardian of Krokorok's Sock Drawer and the Slayer of Pancake Batter!"

Stunfisk was sitting at the cliff, gazing at the stars above her. She had never been a sentimental person - or, at least, she tried not to be - but she couldn't help but try facing the turmoil that was tumbling within her stomach.

"Why am I like this?" she whispered to herself, glancing down to the ground.

"Because that's who you were destined to be."

She whirled around to find Lucario smiling at her, waving his paw.

"Hey there, Stunfisk," he greeted. "Care if I join you?"

She wanted to say no; she really did. She couldn't face him. But, pushing down her frustration, she nodded her head. "Sure."

"Great." He sat beside her, tilting his head. "I was wondering if you could tell me exactly what happened between us in the challenge before today's challenge. I know you didn't say much before about it, and I don't mean to pester you, but I just need to know-"

"Why do you need to know?"

Lucario's eyes were so hopeful and innocent that Stunfisk felt her heart sink a little when he said, "Because I need to know whether I finally managed to win myself a girl, or not."

There was an awkward silence, and Stunfisk gritted her teeth.

"Sorry, Stunfisk. I mean, I probably shouldn't pester you so much, but I really want to-"

"I used Attract on you."

Lucario's jaw dropped. "What?"

"You heard me," Stunfisk bitterly began. She felt so angry, but why, she could not understand why. She certainly wasn't angry at Lucario, but rather, at herself. "I used Attract on you. I manipulated you. I lied to you. I made you do everything for me for a day. I treated you like a slave! And you… you were happy about it, because you didn't even know what was happening! Yeah, it was a bitch thing to do. I know. Go ahead. Scream at me. Yell at me. It was stupid, it was selfish, yadda yadda. Go on. I'm ready. Hit me with whatever you've got."

"So you can call me a bastard again?" Lucario retorted. "Not a chance."

Stunfisk eyed him as they sat in silence, watched as the fighting-type held his head and thought.

"Besides," Lucario began, after minutes of silence. "I kind of get it."

Then it was Stunfisk's turn to look stunned. "What?"

"You're not the only Pokémon who thought they were destined to be forever alone, you know."

"I…" Stunfisk trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

Lucario shook his head. "But I can't be your boyfriend, Stunfisk. I can't be that smooth, sexy Pokémon that you were with while I was under your spell."

"You were never smooth to begin with, Lucario." She cracked a weak, tentative grin.

He released a small laugh. "That's a relief. But… Let's start again. How about we go for a walk and get to know each other? As friends." Seeing her face brighten up, he added, "Though, if you feel any spontaneous desire to be swept away in my arms and kiss me passionately, don't be shy."

Stunfisk laughed. "You're funny."

"My, my, did the Stunfisk just compliment someone for the first time?"

"Don't get used to it."

0000

"You know," Lucario began. "The friend-zone isn't so bad."

0000

Lurantis sighed as he heaved his luggage onto the boat, glaring at the island one last time as he snickered for the final time on that freshly cropped grass.

Suddenly, he halted as he heard a rumbling sound echo from the other end of the island. He glanced up at the nearest mountain, and gasped.

There was a large circle, shaped like a wheel, at the top of the hill, already beginning to roll its way down towards him. The wheel rolled and rolled, gaining momentum, and Lurantis cursed as he analysed the wheel, examined the diagrams on the edges.

It was a Wheel of Fortune, he noticed with dismay.

The wheel tripped against a rock, and was sent soaring into the air, the shadow of it hovering over his body. Lurantis swore as he felt the wheel become a victim of gravity, falling straight on top of him.

The Wheel of Fortune had literally fallen on him.

"In the end, the Wheel of Fortune crushes us all."

Tomato Soup: Ding dong, the witch is dead! Whew, my laptop crashed as I wrote that elimination. My laptop seriously loves Lurantis. And, to my surprise, a lot of you people did too! I can't believe some of you will actually be distraught when he goes. XD I know I will. He was lots of fun to write. Thank you so, so much Magnemitegeek for submitting such a fabulous OC to write! I'll miss Bacon Pants dearly. What did all of you think of Lurantis? What do you think of Stunfisk and Lucario's friendship? And Otto, sweet little Otto? And Ribombee's first kiss? XD Please do tell me!

Also, SAND ATTACK BITCHES. Seriously, Sand Attack pisses me off in the games because literally, everyone uses it against me and my Pokémon can never land a move after that. Don't underestimate the power of playing smart rather than strong, because intelligence is a strength in itself.

27th Place: Lurantis (The Sadistic Mantis) - A villain, but one that was supposed to start the story off with a kick and… yeah. He made it through the first quarter, but that's where his reign ended. He actually did quite a lot, eliminating some very strong competitors: Ludicolo, Charizard, Pancham, and Vespiquen (inadvertently). Impressive feat, I say. I'll miss him very much.

Also, thank you to Nihilego Fanatic for the title suggestion! :D

Please pop a review! And I know I've said it before, but… FIFTY FOLLOWERS! *scream* I love you all. Please review, and I'll love you even more! I'll combust with love!