I know a few of you have been worrying about and predicting this chapter for a while and now it's here. There's sweet and angst in equal measure. I shall catch up with you at the end.

Chapter 14

She just looked at his face as he concentrated on his fastenings. She wished she could memorise how he looked right now in this exact moment. He caught her looking and he smiled and it lit up his whole face and she couldn't help but smile back at him in return.

'Lift your knees a little higher and try to relax.'

She nodded and let out an 'alright' which sounded breathy and nervous even to her own ears.

He moved back onto her holding his weight on his left arm as he used his right hand to position himself. She felt him pushing at her entrance and it was only then that she realised how much bigger he was than his fingers had been. He went slowly but she could feel him stretching her in a way she had never experienced before. She started to tense up but remembered him telling her to try to relax so she concentrated on his face instead and tried to regulate her breathing even as she felt her heart hammering against her chest bone.

There was a sharp burning pain which made her gasp and he stopped, asking her if she was alright. She knew from her medical knowledge what had just happened and after a moment she nodded her head. He bent to kiss her once more before continuing.

Slowly but surely he pushed into her until he could go no further and it felt so good to finally be joined with him. She didn't ever want to lose him, she knew she would never be able to bear it. She moved her hands from his shoulders to his neck and slid one hand into the silky curls on his head so she could pull him to her for another kiss. She felt so overwhelmed with emotion and physical sensation that she knew tears were starting to fall but she ignored them.

His kiss was just as slow and full of feeling and she hoped that this meant as much to him as it did to her.

A moment later he started to draw his hips away before gently thrusting back inside her and she broke off from the kiss, gasping at the arousing feeling flooding through her body. Her hands left his head and instead moved under his arms, which were supporting his weight, and down the skin of his back and before she knew what she was doing she pressed her hands onto his naked backside as she encouraged him to go deeper into her. She was riding on instinct and just doing what felt right and necessary.

He gradually increased his pace and as he did he started to tell her how she felt and what he wanted to do to her. All these deliciously dirty things which no man ought to say to any woman but they just aroused her even further and before she knew what was happening she was experiencing that most amazing feeling again. She seemed to lose all sense of time as her body took over her mind. She couldn't think of anything but the waves of pure ecstasy which seemed to be washing over her. It was only as she started to come back to herself that she realised she was saying his name over and over.

He was still moving inside her, faster now, and she knew he was chasing his own pleasure. She relished him pounding into her, being with him so intimately especially given they were soon to be torn apart.

She dug her nails into his backside encouraging him on as she kissed his neck and throat and then she felt his release. He thrust himself deep inside her as he let out her name on a low moan and then he sagged against her and she held him to her; wishing that time would stand still and they could stay locked together forever.

Time had other plans though and seemed to be working against Molly that afternoon. They held each other and kissed and held each other some more but every time she glanced at the clock the minutes had flown by and before she knew it he was sitting up and starting to redress.

'I wish you didn't have to go. I'm not ready to say goodbye.'

He turned and gave her a sad kind of half smile. 'Then don't think of it as goodbye. Think of it as au revoir. We will see each other again Molly of that I am sure.'

She wanted to ask him when and how but she knew that he had no more answers than she did. She started to get up herself but he stopped her.

'Don't...don't come with me. Let my last memory of you be here in this bed where we made love. I'm not good with emotions Molly or thinking about my own mortality but if this is the moment we have to part then this is the image of you that I want to take with me. With your lips bruised from my kisses and your hair spread over the pillow.'

She lay back down and watched as he pulled his boots back on. She willed herself not to shed any more tears whilst he was here with her. There would be plenty of time for crying when he had gone.

He turned and bending over her he pressed one last kiss to her forehead. He seemed to pause as he looked at her and then he kissed her one last time. It was a kiss that held so much promise of what they could be and Molly wanted to burn the memory of it into her very soul. She wanted to remember the feel of his lips moving against hers, the silky softness of his hair under her fingers and the musky, masculine scent of him which made her mouth water.

She closed her eyes as they kissed and when she opened them he was on his feet and opening her door. 'Au revoir Molly Hooper.'

Then he was gone and her world felt as though it were collapsing.

She knew she couldn't indulge in her grief for long. She had more ward rounds to complete before her day was done and she wasn't special; how many other woman across the country had had to say good bye to sons, husbands, lovers and brothers? They were all in the same boat and she just had to pull herself together and get on with it. But she gave herself one hour. One hour to cry and scream and rail against the men who had caused this damned war in the first place. Then she got up, changed her clothes, hiding her torn shirt at the back of her closet where she could keep it as a remembrance, tangible proof of their coupling. She washed her face and put her hair back up and then she left her lodge and made her way back up to the hospital.

As she did a convoy of soldiers and horses were making their way along the road away from the hospital. She stopped for a moment and watched them knowing that one of those men was the love of her life. She was thankful that he was too far away for her to make him out because it made it easier for her to turn her back and walk away.

MHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMH

It was six weeks before Molly realised the enormity of her situation. She had hardly given a thought to her monthly curse with all the work she was involved in but eventually the truth sank in that she wasn't just late she was very late. She was also more tired than normal and some of her tastes had changed. Food she had once loved now made her feel a little nauseous. As a doctor she had no doubt of the cause. She was pregnant with the child of a man who she hadn't heard from since the day he had left.

Whilst they had left so much unspoken she had been sure that he would write, maybe not a letter but a note, a word...something, but there had been nothing. She even made tentative enquiries with Mary to see if John had heard from him; laughing off Mary's surprise and shaking her head and saying she was sure he'd be in touch soon and not to worry. The pregnancy though, that changed everything. She suddenly had it brought into sharp relief that she had no idea where he was and she had no way of contacting him. In her darker moments she realised she didn't even know if he were alive or dead. After all who would tell her if he was lost to the war?

She covered up her predicament for another week before Mary found her in tears in their room and the whole sorry truth came out. Mary discreetly spoke to John asking if he had any way he could contact Sherlock on Molly's behalf to see if he could inform him of the situation and it was then that things became even worse for Molly.

John told Mary of Sherlock's plan to seduce Molly in order to guarantee himself better treatment. When Mary then told Molly she shook her head in horror.

'No, Mary, he wouldn't do that. He was better than that. I know he was.'

'Molly, be honest with yourself did he ever declare himself to you? Did he ever give you any guarantee of his feelings or of his intentions towards you either now or after the war?'

Molly cast her mind over all their interactions her mouth opening wanting to prove Mary wrong even as her brow furrowed and tears leaked from her eyes.

'Oh Molly.' Mary wrapped her arms around her friend and held her as her heart broke.

'I've been such a fool Mary. I thought he had feelings for me. I thought he felt as I did, that we shared a connection.'

As a last resort John wrote to the brother he had heard Sherlock mention, General Mycroft Holmes in London. He addressed it c/o the Army headquarters certain that it would at least get to him. It was an unusual enough name and a senior enough position that they would know how to direct it on.

It took three more agonising weeks for a reply to come through and when it did it was curt, dismissive and devastating.

Knowing my brother as I do I would be more than surprised if he were to have engaged in any relationship with this girl. If she was of such loose morals as to get herself into this predicament I would have thought her knowledge of paternity to be unreliable in the least.

I trust you will make no further effort to contact myself or any member of my family again if you wish to keep this matter quiet.

Yours sincerely,

General Mycroft Holmes GCB CBE MC DL

It was the final nail in the coffin for Molly's hopes.

The only bright spot was the war finally ended, just as Sherlock had predicted, on 11th November 1918 and there were numerous celebrations which took place throughout the hospital and the local area but Molly took part in none of them.

She gave her notice at the hospital. She agreed to work until the end of the month but she knew she couldn't risk staying any longer after that or her shame would be known by everyone.

She had never dreamt that when she had arrived in Netley all those months ago that she would be leaving with such a heavy heart and a sense of guilt at having been so reckless and foolish. She had no idea how her mother would take the news or even if she would take Molly back in, she had not just brought shame to herself but to her mother and to the memory of the father that she had held so dear.

I'm sorry, I know this chapter has ended badly but it isn't the end of the story and for those of you who have been expressing concern about Molly's situation...well, you were right to be concerned.