All through September and into October, Snape visited faithfully, twice a week. Leah enjoyed being able to predict when he would show up. Not only was he still bringing newspapers, but he encouraged Leah to read them while he was there so she could ask questions. There were many corrections to be made and items that he had more information about. Leah was grateful. She knew that he must have realized how isolated she would feel without some kind of window to the world, and reading was how he provided it. But still, he wondered.

"Do you ever get lonely here, all isolated from people?" They were lounging on the sofa together one evening, having just finished their tea.

"Sometimes, but I don't mind. I'm not the type who needs to be surrounded by people all the time. But sometimes I wish I could be doing more."

"You mean against the Dark Lord?"

"Yes. He's taking everything over and here I am just sitting in a tent all day."

"I understand. But I think a lot of people feel similarly, even those who are in teaching or Ministry positions. They just have to keep doing what they're doing and keep their eyes open."

"But at least they're doing something."

Snape sighed. "I bring this up because I had an idea. And I'm not sure yet how practical this would actually be. But once in a while I hear about Muggles or Muggle-borns who are being targeted. And there's very little I can do where I am. But especially when it comes to Muggles, I keep thinking there must be some way we could warn them. A whole family was killed a few months ago. Right in their house."

Leah shuddered. "What kind of warning did you have in mind?"

"I wonder about putting protective charms on houses. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. However, for families that are Muggles and only loosely related to the wizarding world, if at all, probably something more Muggle-oriented would be better. And that's where I'm mostly clueless, because I don't know what it's like to actually be in the Muggle world anymore."

"It could be possible to place a suggestion into their mind, and then wipe their memory of the source."

"Something like that would probably work. But being able to come up with an appropriate idea requires at least some knowledge of the Muggle world, which I assume you have?"

"Oh yes. I lived as a Muggle every summer right up through university."

"Well, would you like to try something like that? I can give you a name of someone, and you could try and find a way to get them to go into hiding?"

"I'd be willing to try it. And it would be nice to get out of here once in a while. I do sit out in the heather some days, but I don't feel comfortable wandering far."

"You do?" Snape looked surprised, and almost angry.

"Well, yes. What's wrong with getting a breath of fresh air? We're in the wilderness. No one sees me."

"Leah," Snape started out in his teacher's voice, but then gradually faded to a less snarky tone. "This is very serious. I don't know if I've told you but the Dark Lord does have your name, and has ways of finding out things you may not even realize. Please don't take any chances."

"I'm not. I just can't stay in here 24/7."

He sighed again. "I understand. No one wants to be in prison. But please... well... actually, I wouldn't want you doing any of this work without more protection. I've been meaning to find an invisibility cloak for you. But they aren't easy to find."

"That would be nice."

"I had a few places I was going to look," he said, standing up to leave. "I'll try not to take any longer than a week."

"Oh, okay..." said Leah. She was up to give him a quick hug right before he disappeared.

Snape was gone for a week. When he finally reappeared around midnight one night, Leah jumped up from bed to meet him. He handed her something that felt silky and light, but couldn't be seen.

"Oh my goodness! I'd heard of these but never thought I'd hold one."

"There it is," he said. He seemed a little out of breath. "It's second-hand, so keep a good eye on it. If you notice any irregularities over time, let me know. I might be able to fix it."

"Okay."

"And here are some names," he said, handing her a parchment that contained several names of people with corresponding towns. "Be sure you destroy the parchment as soon as you've used the information."

"I'll do what I can," she smiled.

"Do. And PLEASE," he emphasized strongly. "Do not take any unnecessary risks. Be safe. Come right back here when you've done what you need to. Keep the cloak on at all times, especially when apparating. Oh, and keep it on this hook," he said, hanging it up near the door. "You can imagine how easy they are to misplace."

"I'm sure!"

"Oh, and, Happy Halloween." He smiled.

"Same to you."

"I'm so glad you want to do this, Leah. But you should know that I do worry about you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Not every moment, but you're always in my mind somewhere." His voice had quieted.

"I haven't heard words like that since you were under a love potion."

Snape snickered. "Oh dear. That's right. I suppose those can actually bring out the truth sometimes. Anyway, I should be going." Leah wondered if talking about the love potion made him uncomfortable, even though she was sure he'd never admit it. It made sense that a lack of control would be difficult to look back on, even if he was now willingly repeating many of the same actions.

She walked over to him and into his embrace, resting her head against his chest, and could just barely hear his heartbeat through his layers of clothing. After a while, she pulled back just slightly and looked up into his tired face, framed by his typically greasy long, black hair. He was looking down at her and she met his gaze, nearly lost in his serious, penetrating eyes. She felt him hesitate for a brief moment, and then he slowly drew his face toward hers... she leaned up to meet him and felt his lips press against hers as she reached her arms up around his neck and felt his encircling her waist.

His body and mouth seemed tense for a few moments, but he loosened up as Leah brushed her lips across his, teasing him as he moved in for a second time. She thrilled to feel his warmth against her, and when they finally pulled away, they both looked a bit surprised, as if waking up from a happy dream.

He was gone all too soon. "See you later, my dear," he had whispered as he walked out the door. Leah's lips were still tingling and she was already counting down the hours until she would see him again.

Two nights later, Leah sat on the couch next to Snape, with his arm draped around her shoulders. She was telling him about her intervention attempts, but felt better doing it while leaning on his shoulder.

"I think the first one went okay. I was fortunate to find the man in the garden and planted the idea in his head. He went right inside afterwards, so I hope it worked. The next one, the Connellys, I had to wait a while before I saw anyone come out of the house, but when a middle-aged woman came out, I followed her and planted the idea.

"Then the third one was a flat, and so I watched the door for a while but no one came out, so I decided I'd knock on the door. I did, several times, and no one came. I just had an odd feeling about it, so I opened the door with a spell, and I saw her, Mrs. Levinish. She was already dead," Leah's voice was trembling as she finished. She felt Snape's arm tighten around her shoulders.

"What did you do?"

"I got out of there. But then I went to a phone booth and called 9-9-9 before apparating back here. It's been haunting me ever since."

"I'm sorry."

"And you have to go through this kind of thing over and over and over?"

"Yes."

"Do you ever get numb to it?"

"I don't know if 'numb' is the right word. That's more what the Death Eaters become, if not outright sadistic. But you do have to learn to deal with it more quickly, push on from it, all without losing your ability to empathize. It's not easy. And as one who prides myself on controlling my emotions, I stuff an awful lot of things down. And as you saw a few weeks ago, sometimes it bubbles up."

"It's not that I've never seen dead people. Some people died under my care at St. Mungo's, and the first few times it was the hardest, but I had to be able to look back on it and honestly evaluate what I could have done or not done - what was under my control and what wasn't."

"Yes. That's what I have to tell myself. If I carried the weight of every tragedy on my shoulders, I'd be crushed. You just have to keep re-orienting yourself to face the next one, and be glad for every victory you can get. We didn't cause any of these problems - we're just trying to find small ways to combat a larger one. And it sounds like you got two out of three. That's wonderful."

"Yes, true. I keep wondering what actually happened though."

"I'm sure. But I'd advise you not to go back and poke around."

"I thought you'd say that."

Snape shrugged. "There's nothing else you could do either way."

"I'd imagine not, but I hate not being able to follow up. I learn so much from follow-up."

Snape looked pleased. "Spoken like a true lifelong learner."

"I try. Done with your mug?"

"Yes, thank you." Leah took both mugs and set them on the dish pile for Marley to take back to Hogwarts the next morning. She wandered back over to the couch and Snape reached for her hand, pulling her onto his lap.

"Ooooh... hello there," she smiled. He smiled back. Soon they were locking lips again. Leah stroked her fingers across the stubble on his face.

"I guess I didn't shave today," he whispered, almost sheepishly. "I'm not used to having to think about these things."

"It will take time, I'm sure, but I don't mind," she said, kissing his cheek and then his lips again. She felt his hands stroking from her waist down to her hips.

After quite a few minutes, she leaned her head on his shoulder and rested.

"So, what is it like doing this kind of thing again after sixteen years?"

"Oh, it's wonderful," Snape replied in a tired voice. "Though this is actually very new in many ways. Perhaps a bit nerve-wracking at first, honestly."

"I could tell. But you loosened up just fine." She stroked his chest, or as much as she could without running into one of his many buttons.

"I hope so." He paused for a moment. "You're probably far more experienced than I am."

"Really? No... just more recently."

"How recently?"

"Well..."

"Not that you... need to share anything you're uncomfortable with," he said, realizing he'd sounded a bit abrupt.

"No, it's okay, I trust you." She sat up a bit so she could look at his face.

"I've only had two serious boyfriends. During Hogwarts there was a typical 'guy who liked me but I liked another guy but he liked another girl' pathetic 'love square' sort of thing. But in university I dated someone fairly seriously. I don't think I really loved him... I think I was just excited that he really seemed to like me. It wasn't that great of a relationship, but I learned a lot from it. Well, actually, the learning came later. After that I had a bit of a rebound during my internship at St. Mungo's. That lasted even less time. And then I resolved I wasn't going to sleep with anyone again unless I could honestly say I loved them and believed they loved me. Which was harder than I thought at first, but it was a good decision. I only had a few dates that went nowhere between then and coming to Hogwarts, and no one since then, obviously."

"Hmmmmm... sounds like we made similar resolutions. Just I used a potion for mine and you didn't have to."

"Well... maybe... but I haven't had to go sixteen years!"

"True. And I'm sure you wouldn't have had to. I haven't exactly had women beating down my Hogwarts classroom doors, believe it or not," he said, dryly.

"Well, neither have I! Men, that is. I was a complete geek at Hogwarts."

"So was I."

"I'd love to see pictures sometime," said Leah, with a cheeky grin.

"Oh goodness, no you wouldn't." Leah made a pouty face. Snape kissed her pout.

"But anyway," he said, a few minutes later. "I've had two too. One was another former Death Eater," he made air quotes around the word 'former,' "and that lasted a couple months before she dumped me. And then I met someone else at a pub a little before I started at Hogwarts. And we carried on for a few weeks before she had enough of that."

"Well... so you've had both love without sex and sex without love."

"Indeed. Both are painful in their own way."

They were both quiet for a while.

"Sometimes I still don't know why you're even sitting with an old man like me," Snape said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... you could certainly have someone younger, and..."

"Why would I want that? I never found anyone among my peers who really understood me or wanted to understand the things I was passionate about. Most of them are so short-sighted, just living for the next party. No one else would want to sit home on a Friday night and read with me like you do." Leah couldn't help but wonder if Tonks had had to make any of these same kinds of arguments to Remus.

He gave a slight smile.

"Plus, you're amazing, and brave and it's also because I... because I love you." She had only hesitated for a moment. And she had known for a long time that it was true, but the fear of releasing such a statement was palpable. She felt the whole world go quiet and the memories of living with him came back, when it had seemed like he was aching to get away from her, and would have thrown any such statement back in her face.

His face did not register surprise, but she had lowered her eyes after a few moments. She felt his fingers on her chin as he lifted her face up again, and kissed her.

"I love you too, Leah. I have for a while. Even before I stopped the potion."

"I'm glad," she said, resting her head on his shoulder again.

"Love is a scary thing." Snape finally spoke again. "It is anyway, but in the midst of the rise of a being who hates anything to do with love, engaging in it seems foolhardy. All this extra worry, protection, fear."

"But how else do we survive it?"

"True. I'm not complaining. I love coming to see you. I wish I could see you every day. But it means we both have a significant weakness now."

"I'm okay with that," she said.

"Oh you are?"

"Yes... you're worth it." She snuggled into his chest as he stroked her hair.

All too soon, the evening ended and he left her again. She decided that the next time, she would have to find a way of asking him to stay a bit longer.