Growing Together
Extra Features: Bloopers & Outtakes
by Kim McFarland

[Kermit, Fozzie, and Scooter are backstage during a rehearsal. Fozzie is in a state of tie-wringing anxiety.]

Fozzie: I can't believe we're going to have Weird Al Yankovic on the show! He's the funniest guy in the music biz, and he's going to be right here!

Scooter: Yeah, this'll start the season off with a bang. Can't wait to meet him, huh?

Fozzie: I-I don't know if I can! I mean, he's so funny! Compared to him, I'm not funny at all.

[Kermit, looking at something on his desk, frowns.]

Fozzie: Ah, Kermit, your line.

Kermit: "Kermit: [muttering] Compared to a cinderblock, you're still not funny"? I'm not saying this.

Fozzie: [Surprised and a little hurt] Ouch!

Scooter: [to the camera] Who writes this stuff?

[Kermit hops out in front of the curtains.]

Kermit: Welcome to The Muppet Show! Tonight we have a real treat for you. Our guest star is Weird Al Yankovic! He- [glances around the stage as if searching for someone] Weird Al?

[Fozzie Bear, wearing a frizzy perm wig, looks out from the wings.]

Kermit: Fozzie, what're you doing? Where's Weird Al?

Fozzie: The check hasn't cleared yet.

[Kermit and Miss Piggy are in Miss Piggy's dressing room.]

Miss Piggy: I haven't shown this to anybody...

Kermit: What?

[Miss Piggy takes one of her gloves by the fingertips and slides it off, revealing a hand with black, hooflike fingernails. Kermit holds out his hand. Reluctantly she puts her hand in his.]

Miss Piggy: They make me look like I was born in a stinkin' sty.

Kermit: Now I see why your karate chops hurt so much.

[Miss Piggy's hand closes around Kermit's in a crushing grip. Kermit yelps with pain.]

Miss Piggy: [growling] Stick to the script, frog!

[Janken and Scooter are asleep spoon-fashion, Scooter behind Janken. Scooter suddenly startles awake.]

Scooter: Awk!

Janken: [barely awake] Mnh?

Scooter: [patting Janken's shoulder] Jan, turn toward me.

[Janken turns to lie on his other side, facing Scooter. He smiles suggestively.]

Janken: Wanna snuggle s'more, mmm?

Scooter: No—I just can't sleep with you facing away 'cause every time you wag your tail you hit me right there.

All characters except Janken are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLC and are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken is copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9 at aol dot com), as is the overall story. Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.