I follow her to her car, and let her guide me into it before closing my door and getting into her own seat.

We pull out of the parking lot, and we drive silently for a while. I'm incredibly uncomfortable at this point. I'm aware that I have no idea who this girl next to me is anymore, but I'm also aware that I want to get to know her. Even more so, I'm aware that I don't want to get closer to her than I already have.

I already know too much, and my mind hates it.

She finally speaks.

"What did my mom say to you earlier?"

"You're mom?"

"Yes Ashley, my mom. When I left the bathroom. You guys didn't come back down for an hour. What did she say to you?"

Her voice was quieter now. It was still irritated, but less so. Just a hint could be heard over the hum of the engine.

"She, um…she was talking about things had been. The past few years."

"She chatted with you about how she's been?"

"Yeah. And we talked a little bit about…her being sick. And what it meant. And I told her I was sorry."

"So you're saying that you talked about life the past few years and her being sick? Anything else?"

"Nope that about sums it up."

"Well she told me something different."

Damn it, Paula! She tells me not to tell Spencer what our chat was about, then tells her her own damn self. Make me look like a fool.

"Oh?"

I try to play cooler than I really am. My heart rate picks up.

"She told me you were telling her all about a visit you had with your family up north, and how fun it was, then you guys talked about her family trips she used to take. Sound familiar?"

That's the best she could come up with as a lie? Oh my god, Paula.

"Well…um yeah we talked about that too, actually."

"Right. And what family do you have up north exactly?"

"Spencer please! What's with the Spanish inquisition?"

"Because I know I'm being lied to!"

"Did you ever think maybe it was for your own good?!"

She's getting more angry by the second, and I have no idea what to say to make the madness stop.

"My own good? It was so good for me than it wouldn't be hurting me!"

"Spencer! No one is trying to hurt you!"

"You are! You walking off with some girl you just met today!"

Oh…I knew it wasn't about me and Paula's talk. I didn't ever think that'd be what was making her angry though…

"Spencer…I wasn't…trying to hurt you…um…" God, what do I say right now? "I'm confused though…"

She left out a big sigh and dropped her shoulders. "Please just…forget about it. Forget I said anything. We'll go back, I'm sorry if I ruined your evening."

"Keep going straight."

"What? Why?"

"Oh my God you ask so many questions tonight. Just go straight."

I direct her until we get back to my hotel. I am not excited AT ALL at the prospect of her being in my hotel room with me alone, but form her out burst in the car, I feel like she has more she needs to say. And the sick masochistic part of my brain wants to hear it.

I need to hear it.

She lets out a whistle. "Wow. This is quite a hotel."

"Yeah well Kyla turns her nose down to anything under 5 stars exactly. She absolutely freaks out on tours, living in a bus. She's ridiculous," I say, as I get out of her car.

She laughs a bit, then goes quiet.

We walk silently up to the front door, and then get in the elevator in the front lobby.

When we get to my room, I take an extra couple of seconds pretending to find my room key, to avoid opening it for as long as I can. She's standing close to me. I can feel her breath gently blowing on my arm, and I get goosebumps.

I almost stop looking for a second, but then I quickly grab it out of my pocket and jam it in the door. I turn the handle and walk inside quickly, trying to avoid her getting so close.

In the spirit of trying to keep form being close to her, I then grab an armchair that only had room for one, forcing her to sit on the couch by herself.

"Well, um…I have a mini bar. Some ridiculously expensive peanuts than miraculously taste exactly like normal peanuts, if you're interested."

"No, um, thank you but no." She looks down at her feet. "Look Ashley, I'm sorry about earlier, I was just…I was freaking out I guess. Maybe I was being protective, I don't know."

"Is Carmen a bad person?"

"No, she's a great girl, she really is, I just…I don't know." She laughs uncomfortably, never looking up form her shoes.

"Is there, um…is there something that you maybe want to talk about?"

"Um…well like what?"

She's avoiding. Seven years go by and she's still doing the same thing. When she doesn't want to talk about something, she beats around the bush until you have to finally shake it out of her. Me, in no position to still be able to do that, just have to keep pressing until she cracks.

"Okay, well, let's start with what you said in the bathroom."

"I said a lot of things in the bathroom, Ash." She's still not looking up, but I flinch at her using my nickname. I'm still not used to it coming out of her mouth…it sounds too…perfect.

"Spencerrrrrrr." I draw out her name, with a slight air of playful annoyance laced in it. I hoped I didn't let my nervousness sneak in my voice too.

"You said…you said you were with Patrick because he was a guy. But we didn't talk about it anymore. And I…I want to talk about it."

"What difference would it make, Ashley?" Back to her irritated voice now. She finally looks up. "Really. You and I can't just forget what's happened in the past and be friends again. I can see it in your eyes. You're guarded. Hell, I'm guarded. I'm too used to trying to hate you, that I can't even begin to think of what it'd be like to try and like you again. As a friend."

She adds that last part in a little too quickly.

"Well, do you hate me right now?"

She looks into my eyes. "No. I suppose I don't."

"Spencer, I can't pretend I trust you. I can't even pretend that I'm not still mad at you. But I also can't pretend that I don't want you in my life."

Did I just say that? TO SPENCER?

She looks surprised, but carries on anyway. "It scares me. I have…these worries."

"Well, I have a whole Dickens novel full of worries about being in the same town as you, but here we are. We're alone. I never once thought I would ever let that happen. I should hate you more. But I don't."

"Why not?" Her voice turned small, and she dropped her gaze again. "You should hate me after what I did. After all the things that I did. I'm so sorry, Ashley. I really am."

"It's…Spencer? It's okay. You had to do what you thought was right."

She went quiet for a little while.

Her sitting there, in front of me, no eyes to catch me watching her, I finally get a good look at her. She's wearing a very beautiful blue bridesmaid dress, with a slight shimmer, that matches the shimmer of her long blonde hair. It's down, in slight waves. It looks so soft.

I move down to her bare shoulders, perfectly tanned, completely spotless and smooth. My heart starts racing but I can't stop myself from taking her in. I run my eyes down her curves, run my eyes down her perfectly shaped legs, they looked like they were chiseled by Da Vinci himself.

While I'm letting myself look, she lifts her head up again, and stares at me. As if she knows. as if she could possibly know.

I hope she doesn't know.

"Ash, I don't if anything I did back then was right. Especially what I did that night."

My heart dropped like a rock from the empire state building, but before I can squeak a reply with all the questions her sentence raises, her phone starts to ring.