He's never enough
But still he's more than I can take

I'm too shocked to even close my eyes. For a moment, I return the kiss and our lips move together perfectly. Then the panic sets in and I pull away from him, adverting my gaze to the paper and ribbon lying on the floor.

For a moment we stand apart in an awkward silence. I move my eyes from the floor to look at him. He simply stares back at me, arms still partially held out as if I he were still holding me. He lowers them slowly to his sides and now he's the one staring at the floor.

Why do I feel so terrified?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." His words are rushed, and monotone, like a rehearsed speech. "I don't know why I-" he cuts himself off, sighing. Another awkward silence.

I think putting down my camera was a mistake.

This time I'm the one to speak first. "So...I'm glad you liked the gift." I start cleaning up the wrapping paper and start walking to the trash can across the room.

I have to get away. So many thoughts are racing through my mind so fast I can't stop and focus on any single one of them.

"Don't do this." Normally, when Roger says such a thing, it's a command. This time it's a plea.

"Do what?" I kneel in front of the trash can.

Detach. Alienate. Run away...

"Pretend nothing happened. Don't do that to me."

I stand up and wipe dust that isn't there off my hands. Finally, I take a deep breath and one word screams in my mind. "Mimi-"

"-is dead," he finishes. I cringe inwardly. He sighs again. "That came out harsh, but it's true. She's dead. And I accept that."

"I'm not a rebound!" The words leave my mouth before I even realize I'm thinking them.

"That's not what I'm doing!" Looking away, he gathers himself and starts again. "Do you know what she said to me before she died?"

I force myself to look at him again. "No."

"She told me no matter how much it hurt, I needed to go on. To not be afraid to be happy and to love without her. Does it make more sense now...why the words you said that day brought me to my senses?" I nod. It WAS what she wanted. "So that's what I'm doing: moving on."

He crosses over to me and cups my cheek in his hand. "Roger?" I'm still not ready to believe all this.

"Think about it, Mark: we know each other inside and out. We were with each other through the ups and downs. When I laughed, you laughed with me. When I wanted to give up, you forced me to live." Now he leans in and whispers against my lips. "You just might be perfect."

I move my lips against his and suddenly, this FEELS perfect. Electricity courses through my entire body.

We both pull away at the same time, eyes still fixed on each others.

"I love you," we say in unison, then chuckle, Roger with amusement, myself with relief.

"I know, Mark."

"I guess everything really is different now, huh?" I take his hand between mine and play with his fingers.

"I wouldn't change any of it. In fact, if I'd known it would have led me to you, I would have bitched about it less...after I got over how crazy I thought it was," he explains, laughing.

I bite my lip in (semi) mock-nervousness. "Do you still think it's crazy, Rog?"

He laces his fingers with mine and swings our hands back and forth gently. "Oh, Marky...I've never thought anything was more insane in my entire life." He smiles and winks at me, half joking, half serious.

I let out a sigh of relief and pull him close again. "Oh, thank god, me too."

He's beautiful
Oh, he's so beautiful

"You're beautiful, Mark." Roger's said so many things tonight that I never thought I'd hear.

I blush and remember the first time I thought that about him. "Weird to think that about a guy, isn't it?"

"Not when you're smiling at me like that."

My smile turns into a wide grin as I see the same joy my eyes must have returned in his and suddenly, I know the answer to the question I've been asking myself all along.

It IS beautiful...