Marge had thrown Cecil off of her by saying she wanted to "go for a swim."

She was a terrible liar.

Either way, he had gotten back onto a trail from her directions, and was now standing in a clearing. There was a large pond making up a good part of the clearing, and a large rock formation towering over the whole thing.

I'm near the volcano, aren't I?

The palms limited his view, but he was pretty sure that if they weren't there, you could break your neck by just trying to see all the way up there.

Maybe not. I could very well just be near a hill. Ah, what the hell. I'm lost.

He cupped his hands together, ready to call out for basically anybody who could hear him, and heard a sudden sharp CRACK ring through the air.

Then, he turned around just as a boulder nearly his size broke through the tree line, rolling faster than his brain could realize what he did—Cecil's reflexes kicked in, and he hurdled himself to the left.

The rock rolled past where he was standing, continuing into the forest.

He got up, shakily peering through the hole the boulder made. There was indeed a hill, with a small ledge on top. And on that ledge, Cecil thought he saw—

"No," His eyes widened. Due to perspective, he couldn't see anything else, but what he saw was the top of Mel's hair, bone and all.

Mel pushed it. He deliberately tried to kill me.

Cecil stumbled a bit more through the clearing, heading back into the scenery, and back into the woods.

Isabella and Maggie were giggling when they turned a corner around a bush and saw Cecil on the other side.

Izzy smiled. "Hello, sir."

His head snapped to her in surprise, then his eyes softened some. "Sir? As much as I appreciate that, it makes me feel older than I honestly want to be."

The girls smiled. Maggie looked at him, "You aren't still feeling the island fever in there, are ya?"

He put his hands in his pocket and began to walk towards them, "Ah, no. I believe that went out of me when I was accused of crashing us onto this island and being a murderer."

Isabella blushed furiously.

He stopped and pointed an accusing finger in both girls' faces, "I'll have you know that I am not a murderer, and it is not my fault that those door-to-door salesmen shattered like Tiffany Crystal when dipped into liquid nitrogen."

They now began to giggle nervously.

Izzy backed up a step, dragging Maggie with her, "I'm sorry, we've gotta go."

"What for?" He didn't follow them.

"We've gotta get these berries back to camp." Maggie blurted.

He frowned. "Why the rush?"

"Uh, the—eeh—ah, we-we're making, uh, poison." She said.

His eyebrow went up. "Why? And who taught you how to do that?"

"Mommy said that we needed to bring back these poisonous berries to bring back to camp for them to make poison out of. Yeah, that's reasonable enough. Bye!" Both broke out into a run, leaving Cecil feeling like there was something missing from this picture . . .

My murder, perhaps?

As they had said, everybody (aside from Cecil) was in the supply hut. Mel was cleaning what looked like mushrooms in their make-believe sink, the girls were making fruit punch out of half of the berries, and Stephanie and Gino were making fruit salad in a bowl big enough for Maggie to take a bath in from the other half.

Marge smiled. "Do you really think he'll be surprised?"

Stephanie smirked. "No, we think he already knows everything that we've been up to, including the astounding way Mel almost flattened him into paper out of that big boulder he pushed at Cecil right below the hill. Great job, Mel!" She slapped him on the back.

He jutted out his chin. "Well, I'm sorry for not seeing him behind that tree-line! You could have pointed him out yourself, dear. Unless we only wanted fruit and that boar Marge and Gino were supposed to trap, these are mushrooms that are supposed to be exquisite when properly cooked, growing only under large rock formations such as that one. But he shouldn't know, unless a certain somebody told him!"

Everybody turned to Isabella. She raised her hands, "What? You know how well I can keep a secret!"

Gino rolled his eyes. "That's why we worry."

"Mm!" Stephanie said, "Where is that boar you guys were supposed to trap and kill?"

Marge spoke up, "We have him trapped, but not dead."

Just beside the supply hut, Cecil stumbled through the tree-line. He heard the voices in the supply hut, and couldn't help but overhear the conversation that ensued.

From below the windowsill.

He heard Marge saying, "I didn't have the heart to kill him, and Gino used our last arrow. And missed," She said pointedly. "It almost hit Cecil!"

He shrugged. "My aim may be off after a month on this island. You have not let me practice often."

Cecil leaned up, peeking into the hut. Mel had a butcher knife in his hand, running his finger over the sharp end. "Well then? Who's gonna kill him?"

Nobody spoke up. "Oh, c'mon. Marge? Isa-"

"You might as well just rule out all of us, Mel." Marge said.

Isabella and Maggie were holding their throats, a very traumatized look on their faces.

"Stephanie?"

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Are you kidding me?! I'm tough, but I don't kill pigs unless they're trying to kill me first. Or any other self-defense mode."

Cecil frowned at that remark.

Mel looked hopefully at Gino.

"Not unless I swear vendetta against it. And that is only when it has tried to bring me or my family harm. That thing has not brought me or my family harm."

Now Cecil was just downright insulted.

"Well?" Mel ran his finger against the knife again, "Somebody's got to kill that old boar."

"Aw, but why?" Maggie whined.

"Because of we don't, he may attack us first. God knows what else he's done . . ."

Cecil retreated back to his hut.

He left the note (stating he was onto them with the murder) on the door and fled into the shadows of the trees, only with a fedora and a small sack of clothes to protect him for now. He brought one of the machetes just for protection.

I'll be damned if they kill me without a fight!

However, he had skipped breakfast. And lunch. He was sure all of them had.

He stopped in yet another clearing, one he had never seen before, only because it had a banana tree and a log in it. Sand in-between.

He sat down on the log and began eating, setting down his "hiking stick" he had picked up into the sand. Soft sand. Incredibly soft sand.

Cecil dropped the empty banana peel behind the log and got up, eyeing the make-shift hiking stick. It was sinking.

"Quicksand . . ." He realized. Cecil smiled, taking off his hat and placing the light mass of fabric on the very top of the sand. It didn't sink.

You wanted me dead, anyway . . .

He got up and began to run, hearing voices calling his name in the distance getting closer by the second.

And, soon enough, Mel did lead the others into the small clearing. He took one step into the quicksand before realizing what it was, and what lay on the surface of it.

He quickly withdrew his foot, placing a hand over his mouth. Behind him, everyone gasped as they too saw the hat.

Marge pushed herself to the front, and walked around the muck to the hat. She picked it up and looked up, "Stephanie, get the kids outta here. Please."

"But-"

"Please."

"But what about his body, Mom?"

"I'm afraid we probably won't even be able to get his body out," Mel said. "These pits can be pretty abyssal, and . . . oh-ho-ho gawd," He rubbed his face before composing himself. "But if he sank in this, then we probably won't be finding his body anytime soon. If-if ever."

Stephanie ushered the children back to camp. Nobody spoke.

Cecil watched all of this from atop the branches of a tree with a mad eye.

Try to kill me NOW, you—!

But his face softened when he heard a sob echo through the forest. Marge and Mel looked back and grimaced at Isabella's echoing sobs.

"It'll kill her and Gino," Mel said softly. "We can arrange for his funeral when we've all gotten our wits together."

"No!" She scrambled up, facing him, "No. Today. We'll have it today."

He nodded. They went back to camp, teary-eyed.

Cecil realized he had been unconsciously holding his breath, and let it go, climbing down the tree after he had counted to fifty.

Sure, Isabella may get sad. Shed a few tears. As I myself did at my brother's fake funeral. So did Gino. We shed a lot of tears then. But they were fake. They were all fake.

But he did want to see what they had in store for his "funeral."

Since there wasn't a body, they instead used the hat they found and set it on top of a mini-mountain cascade of flowers.

Mel stood sadly in front of the crowd, who were all dressed in black. "Dearly beloved, we all gather here today to pay our respects for Cecil Terwilliger, a hardened criminal in Springfield, but a well-respected man on the island…"

Cecil was sitting on a tree branch a few feet away from the gathering, with an amused face and a raised eyebrow.

"…And we all hope you're living a better life, Cecil," Mel looked down, "down there."

"How dare you!" Isabella shouted between sobs.

"I didn't mean it in that way! I was referring to the quicksand, Izzy."

When Mel was done with what he thought was the opener for the funeral, he turned to the group. They were all crying, aside from Stephanie, who was looking down numbly. His own lip began to tremble. "Oh, damn it all! He became my best friend!"

Marge rubbed her eyes. "He was mine too!"

"He saved me from Eric," Stephanie mumbled, "And I guess he did also give my acting a compliment. First person to say that in a long time, at least from what I remember."

"He was like a father to me!" Izzy sobbed.

"He was like a second father to me!" Maggie cried.

Gino sniffled, "He was like an uncle to me!"

As they all sat there sniffling, Cecil teared up as well. "They don't want to kill me," He said softly. "Th-they…love me?"

Just as the words came out of his mouth, the branch he was sitting on broke. He fell to the ground with a loud thud.

Everybody gasped, running over to him.

The first being Isabella, who literally jumped into his arms, sobbing. "You big meanie! How could you do that to us?!"

Needless to say, he got a fair amount of love and hugs that day. Even though Isabella never let go of his neck.

As well as the surprise "Welcome Back to the land of the Living" party. Fortunately enough, the "old boar" got to live, since nobody had the heart to kill it.

To wrap it all up: everything went back to normal after they explained how all of those incidents were really accidents.

Peace to the world, though that'll probably never happen!