Day 19. Confession

Arms wrapped around his legs, chin on his knees. A blonde ball of misery and confusion named Adrien sat on the white sofa and bit his lip.

'You know what you need, kid?' Plagg chirped. 'A nice piece of camembert. It does wonders for your stomach and any existential crisis.'

'Thanks, Plagg. I'm not hungry,' the ball murmured into his pajama pants.

'Whatever you saw in there, couldn't be this bad,' the little cat plopped himself next to his Chosen. For the past half an hour he had been trying to find out what happened to Adrien during the akuma attack, and now he was clearly worried. He never had been so attentive before.

'It wasn't,' the boy sighed. 'Me and Ladybug will be a couple.'

'That's…,' Plagg dropped his ears, 'well, I can't say that's a surprise. But this is good, right?'

'Right,' Adrien breathed and rubbed his chin into his knees.

'Wow, you're so happy you're about to explode,' the kwami muttered under his breath. 'Considering how not so long you were moping about how Ladybug is immune to your wooing.'

'Well, it's not the result that worries me,' the boy finally confessed. 'It's the journey. Tikki said,' he chewed the inside of his cheek thoughtfully, 'she said something bad happens.'

'Tikki said that?' the little cat was authentically taken aback. 'She never tells anything important.'

Adrien shrugged, 'She didn't. She wouldn't tell me anything. But the way she said it makes me scared of what's coming.'

Plagg's whiskers sank. 'Occupational risk?' he ventured. 'Being a superhero is not a piece of cake.'

'I guess, I never saw it that way,' the boy drawled.

'Ooops!' the kwami shot at him and zapped back, phasing through the sofa.

'Ooops?' Adrien followed the movement, knitting his brows. 'That's all you have to say about that?'

'What do you want me to say?' a feminine voice came from the window. Adrien turned his head back so fast he almost got a whiplash.

'Hi!' Ladybug gave him a shy wave. 'Can I come in?'

'Y-yeah,' he uttered, jumping to his feet and gesturing her to come inside.

'I just wanted to check if you were okay after DeLorean,' the heroine hopped onto the the floor and hugged herself. He noticed she seemed to lack her usual confidence and she swayed a bit.

'I'm fine,' Adrien replied automatically, earning a glare from her.

'You don't look fine,' she pointed out.

'Neither do you,' he snapped and backpedalled immediately. 'Sorry,' he said sheepishly. 'Maybe I'm not as fine as I thought. Sit down?' he asked.

Ladybug looked like she was about to collapse from exhaustion. She didn't argue, just sank to the sofa, grateful for the offer. She rested her head on the back of the couch and sighed.

Adrien took a deep breath. 'I think we need to talk.'

'About what?' she hummed. Her eyes were closed, but he thought it was more to avoid his gaze, than to actually relax.

He strolled to his desk and pulled out a piece of paper from a secret compartment. 'Here,' he passed it to Ladybug.

She took it and unrolled, frowning at the content.

'Returning this is more of a symbolic gesture, I guess,' Adrien scratched the back of his neck as she kept staring at the paper with her secret email scribbled on it. 'But I think you were right, we shouldn't see each other or interact in any other way. That was a bad idea.'

'Why?'

'I can't…' he hesitated. 'It's difficult to explain, but in our future-'

'Our future?!' she gasped. 'Y-you saw me in the future?'

He winced. 'Kinda?' I mean I knew it was you but I didn't see your face. I mean, I don't know who you are under the mask. But Tikki was there so...' he trailed off.

'I was in your future?' Ladybug whispered.

'Yeah, we were… I mean we will be…' he shook his head. 'It's complicated and Tikki warned me not to tell anyone what I've seen or heard.'

'So you won't be writing to me anymore?' she asked. 'Or invite me anywhere? Is that what you wanted to say?'

'Basically, yes,' he nodded. 'But… I feel I should… look for you? The real you?'

'The real me?' she echoed.

'You're somewhere there, somewhere near, and maybe you need a friend,' he tried to explain, but no words could describe how he felt. He wasn't sure himself how to shape those thoughts. 'But I can't see you, because I'm,' he chuckled, 'blinded by the spots.'

'But you can't know who I am,' Ladybug worried her lower lip.

'I know, but… if we end up together I feel it's not fair to you if I don't find you,' he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He was saying it wrong but he had no idea how to say it right.

'Together?' Ladybug's eyes got as big as saucers. 'If we end up together?'

'Tikki said I should just wait, but I can't,' Adrien admitted. 'I get that contacting you on this side of the mask is a mistake, that's why I'm returning this and I won't be writing again, but… I can't just wait.'

'Why?' she breathed. She stilled, palms clenched, and eyes warry.

He pursed his lips and dropped his gaze to his feet. He couldn't tell her about the nightmares. About the bad thing that was coming. He didn't really know anything substantial. It was just a hunch, just a feeling slowly creeping down his spine and making his blood run cold. The tone of her voice, broken and hurt, when she called his name. He needed to find her before he starts haunting her dreams. Never in his life did he feel so helpless as in this moment - unable to tell her anything, but reluctant to let her go. Scared of what was coming, but also excited for it. Their paths were tangled in so many ways, fate must have had its fingers in that. Even if he could, he wouldn't know how to start explaining.

'I think you know why,' he said instead, his voice soft and tender. He tried to contain what he felt for her in every syllable, in silent confession of love and devotion, hoping she'd know.

Her lips formed a perfect "O" as she mused upon his words. The reddening of her cheeks told him she understood that at least. She crumpled the paper with her e-mail in her red fist.

'I don't know what to say to that,' she admitted.

Adrien shrugged, 'I don't really expect you to say anything. I'm confused myself.'

Ladybug nodded, then gave him a searching look. For a moment he thought she saw past the polite façade of the model boy and into his Noir soul, but she blinked, and the sensation was lost.

She scrunched her nose. 'I'll be going then. I guess I'll see you around,' she chuckled humorlessly. 'Thank you.'

Was it his imagination, or did she actually look smaller, when she climbed to the window and swung away?

Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews, favs and follows, they are the highlight of my day. Every time I get a notification I want to run to my computer and write a few paragraphs!

A huge thank you to Remasa for checking if this chapter makes sense!

Visit my tumblr blog, if you haven't already (perditaalottachocolate-blog . tumblr . com). Useful tags as follows: "perdita writes" for my drabbles and fics, and "perdita draws" for my art. I recommend you check out my new Adrinette post reveal comic while you're in tumblrhood. It's really funny ;)