A/N: I know it's been a long time, and for that I'm sorry. Nothing is wrong with me except that I am chronically lazy. I just went into hibernation I guess. Sorry guys. With that in mind, I would like to dedicate this little chapter to Jeck the Band Geek for caring enough to check up on me. I don't deserve the concern.
Disclaimer: So not mine. I do own this awesome rock I made in pottery though.
After deciding that I wasn't going to let Ned get me down we had all that barbeque food Mr. Mosley had been working so hard on all morning. He had a touch of everyone's favorites; burgers, hot dogs, ribs, vegetables, and even some fish for Liz. Of course, he had to have that much food to make sure everyone got fed; it isn't easy feeding ten people and remembering their favorites. Mr. Mosley certainly is an amazing man.
No one had quite put out of their minds the confrontation between Ned, Jennifer and me. Mrs. Mosley kept glancing in my direction as though assessing my mental state from how I was eating my food. Liz, bless her for trying, was making some of the most inane small talk I'd ever heard and pointedly ignoring what had happened. Aaron and Bobby were sad and sent comforting looks in my direction. Blake looked like he wanted to beat someone up…wouldn't take me three guesses to figure out who. Mr. Mosley was trying to lighten the mood by telling stories and laughing too loudly at his own jokes. Jennifer hovered protectively in my vicinity, laying a hand on my shoulder every once in a while to assure herself of my presence. Thomas and Michael were happily digging into their food completely oblivious to the tension between us all.
I didn't want to talk about what a jerk Ned had been or about how I was feeling about it all. Really, I just wanted to enjoy my day out with people who are so supportive and caring that one day with them is almost suffocating. My parents should take lessons from them, and then maybe I'd be able to talk to them about my life…about this wonderful relationship I'm in. But they aren't the kind of people I want them to be and I'm not the kind of person they want me to be, so I guess it all evens out.
It took the whole meal to get us all comfortable again (lucky little Thomas and Michael hadn't been out of sorts to begin with) and enjoying the beach. There was more volleyball played (with various beachgoers joining and leaving the game as they chose), more swimming done, and an impromptu sand castle competition (which Billy won by somehow managing to sculpt a balcony complete with prince and princess). I don't think I've ever had that much fun before.
My earlier troubles were quickly fading from my memory, why dwell on things I cannot change? Ned is going to feel however he feels; maybe he'll come around and maybe he won't. He isn't my problem. The only thing I've really got to worry about is telling my parents.
I want to be as honest with them as I can; I know that lying to them, even by omission, is something I can't do. They wouldn't understand why I'd need to lie and be hurt that I couldn't be open with them. On the flip side, if I'm honest but tell them something they don't want to hear (like, I'm gay, for example) they'll be so miserable and disappointed that they'd wish I'd lied instead. It's such a sucky situation. I almost wish I weren't in it, but then I wouldn't have Jennifer, and that would be an even greater tragedy than losing my parents' love.
I feel almost as if I can't breathe without her; like the world would stop existing for me if she weren't in my life. I can't imagine my life without her in it. She has me so wrapped up that I'm even thinking in clichéd sappy romantic lines.
She shouldn't be able to make me feel this way, no person should. It gives them too much control over me. But she makes me feel like I'm the greatest person ever, and to always feel that wonderful…I'd do anything. Anything she'd ask of me, anything at all. She'd only have to say the words and I'd be off trying to achieve whatever she wanted me to, just so I could have a fraction of her love. I know I'm pathetic. I just can't help myself.
I guess it's lucky for me that the only thing she wants me to do is love her back. I'm already overjoyed to do that.
But I've got to stop thinking so hard, I'll miss out on all of the fun or turn to stone. Right now Blake is telling some story about the ridiculous antics of the football team and everyone is laughing because Billy and Aaron took it upon themselves to act the story out; seeing them sashaying about is enough to have all of us in hysterics.
Mr. Mosley's guffaw thunders across the beach and reverberates in my ribcage. Mrs. Mosley's chuckling is much softer on the ears. All of the Mosley children have crosses between these two laughs. Thomas and Michael are still in the high-pitched giggling stage but I've got a feeling they'll sound exactly like their father. Aaron sounds like his mother, only faster and deeper. Blake wavers between the guffaw and the chuckle which sends him into snorting and tears, which only makes him and everyone else laugh harder. Jennifer bellows almost exactly like her father when she's in full laugh mode, just in a higher octave. She's got stages to her laughter beginning with her mother's chuckle and leading to her father's guffaw.
It's fascinating to see how alike all of the Mosley's are, it must be a genetic thing. I've never seen a family that shares identical laughs; I certainly sound nothing like my parents when I laugh (I'm not sure if that's because I've never heard a real laugh from my parents or because I just don't sound like them). Liz seems to be thinking along the same lines as I am because she's looking between Blake and his parents and flying into giggle fits. Billy is just enjoying all the happiness, basking in it like a cat does in the sun.
When darkness falls the guys light a bonfire and we take turns telling stories; real and fictional. Each story is punctuated with laughter and exaggerated acting (performed mostly by Aaron and Billy). I think this is the kind of sharing people should do all the time, it's fantastic.
We stay around the fire until the little boys are falling asleep in our laps. I notice that as soon as we make signs to leave another group takes charge of the bonfire and are telling stories by the time we'd gathered all our things. I hope they enjoy it as much as we did. It's done a lot to help settle me, center me.
As we drive away I resolve to not worry about how people may or may not react to my relationship with Jennifer, not even my parents. As long as I'm happy, I don't care about what they might think.
A/N: I will have more, and better, chapters put up later this week. Hopefully I can finish this story and the others before I have to return to school. I still owe Kris Chambers a rejection story through the eyes of Moze that I'm eager to get to, but I don't want to be working on four stories at once. Please, be patient with me. Oh, and as always, leave your thoughts.