Yayzes! I don't own naruto or any other stuff that might end up in th story somehow, except Yuki and Tsuki. They are mine. If you try to argue with these facts, I shall defy this, I shall have Jariya come up to you and force you to read Icha-Icha paradise.
Itachi- That's my favorite book series. Its so...addicting.
HappyEmoPuppies- So your saying your a hard core porn addict.
Itachi- ye- I mean- NO! Its not porn, its pictures and stories about very interesting things.
'Lil miss lazy- A.K.A porn
Itachi- what are you getting at? I'm not a porn addict.
Tsuki- then how come you keep pictures of Kisame while she's showering under your mattress?
Itachi- HOW DID YOU FIND THOSE?!
Tsuki and Yuki- SO YOU ADMIT IT! WAIT TILL WE TELL KISAME-CHAN!!
Itachi- noooooo dooooooooon't!
All the girls- THEN SHUT UP!!
Itachi leaves
on with the chappie
&&&&&&
Later that week, after Yuki tortured Kisame, and Tsuki found the secret of making the fish actually DO something, the girls were bored out of their minds. Hidan was let out three days ago, Deidara and Tobi were on a mission, and nobody else was there.
"Tsuki-chan, what do you wanna do?"Yuki asked
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Tsuki went on.
After a while of doing that, they started annoying each other and stopped. Then they realized that they weren't alone. Zetsu was in the room, watering his deadly man eating plants. They took notice of this and crept up on him.
"HI ZETSU-SAN!!" The girls shouted. This really surprised him, how was he supposed to know that they would come behind him and scream. Tsuki then did something really evil. Zetsu passed out for a little while and felt different. He then looked up and noticed another person laying next to him. After a little while he found that Tsuki changed him into...
"OMFG!! WHY DID YOU TURN ME INTO A GIRL?!" The second person yelled. Both Zetsus were disturbed by what had just happened. Then they also noticed that they were both humans, really hot humans. The evil Zetsu was really well tanned, tall, and had red-ish eyes and short dark green hair. The good Zetsu was short, really pale like she was never out in the sun, had hazel eyes, and had long light green hair. (A/N: apparently, evil people have dark hair and are abnormally taller than good people in this story) The four didn't notice the other two people in the room.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TWO FUCKING CRAZY CHICKS DO TO ZETSU?!" Hidan scream-asked. Kakuzu just stared at the good Zetsu like she was some kind of god. He then disregarded that the tiny girl was a part of Zetsu. He walked up to her and just kinda looked at her, sweating up a storm and glowing bright red.
"Ummm, h-h-hi, I'm Kaku-" Kakuzu was interrupted by the tiny girl who just finished his sentence like she knew him her entire life
"Kakusu of the evil organization, Akatsuki, loves money and has a crush on the two wolf girls, Yuki and Tsuki. Has a fetish with abnormal human traits, like weird hair colors, or mutations. Spends most of his time in his roo-" Then Kakusu put his hand over her mouth and pushed her against the wall.
"How do you know all that stuff about me?" Kakuzu asked, still ignoring the fact that shej was part of Zetsu.
"I HAVE BEEN LIVING HERE A VERY LONG TIME, SO I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT I KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT ALL THE OTHER MEMBERS. Except for Yuki and Tsuki, who just moved here a couple months ago. I'M ZETSU YOU MORON!!" Good Zetsu yelled at Kakuzu, who FINALY got it.
"Ooooooooh. Sorry, Zetsu-san. I didn't know that you would be so pretty if you were a human girl."Kakusu flirted. The tiny girl blushed bright red. Kakuzu liked the fact that he was on top of a pretty girl, and she was just dressed in a shredded Akatsuki cloak.(Shreded because the cloak ripped in half whenthey became two people. DEAL WITH IT!!) And than the girl was almost helpless without her evil half.
With evil Zetsu, Hidan was kinda already making out with her and it was getting a little too graphic to write about. It looked like a game of 'who could get the other horny first' and they were kinda tied. They finally broke apart and ran into Hidan's bedroom. Soon after that, many strange noises came from the room. Everybody else just stared, because all that happened within TWO MINUETS!! Just then, two figures came through the door, tired and clothing full of blood. The two girls smiled and glomped the two figures.
"TOBI-KUN!!!" Yuki yelped happily. She was glad he came back from a dangerous mission without being shredded into nothing.
"DEIDARA-SAN!!" Tuki then got the other figure pinned down to the floor. She was really happy that he made it back too.
Tobi and Deidara then asked the girls to get off so that they can shower and get some rest. Deidara headed off to his room, while Tobi headed off to Yuki's room in hell. They decided that Tobi didn't need a separate room since he was used to things around the castle. The henchmen even started calling him 'Tobi-sama' instead of 'That Guy'. Yuki followed Tobi and offered to drive. She knew that he must be exhausted and needed to rest. Tsuki just sat on the couch and watched the stupid box. She then started singing because she was...
"Lonely, I'm so lonely, I have nobody, for my own, OOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNN!!" She then noticed that there was yet ANOTHER person in the room. It was Leader, hiding under a small box that didn't even cover his head, that had the words 'I AM INVISABLE' printed on it with orange marker. Tsuki was wondering WHY was he hiding in a very BAD hiding place, when all her answers came storming into the room.
"PEIN!! WHERE'S MY CHOCOLATE, DAMMIT!! I TOLD YOU THAT I ONLY HAD TWO POUNDS LEFT AND THAT ONLY LAST ME ABOUT THREE MINUETS!!!"Konan screamed at the top of her lungs.
Tsuki just watched as Konan rampaged while looking for leader when he was in the absolute WORST hiding spot EVER. Dark Zetzu walked in with White Zetzu close behind. "PEIN! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?! I NEED MY CHOCOLATE DAMNIT!"
Dark Zetzu smirked as she pulled out a bar of dark chocolate. "I have some chocolate!" Konan grabbed the chocolate and bit into it. She immediately spit it out.
"THIS IS DARK CHOCOLATE!" Konan screamed. White Zetzu appeared behind Konan.
"I have white chocolate. Is that okay?" She asked. Konan sighed and shook her head.
" I need milk chocolate. It is the best!" Tsuki walked over with a ton of milk chocolate.
"I have some milk chocolate. But if you want it..." Tsuki threw the chocolate out the window. "You're gonna have to get it!" Tsuki giggled as she watched Konan jump out the window.
Pein had seen the whole thing and was furious. "WHY DID YOU MAKE KONAN JUMP OUT THE WINDOW?!" Pein yell-asked.
"Well technically I didn't MAKE Konan jump out the window, She was just so eager to get some chocolate." Tsuki was close to getting away, but a drugged-up Tobi and Yuki crashed into the room.
Tsuki saw the two mercilessly kicking the other people out of the room. "YOU'RE NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY!" Tsuki saw them turn to her and she started praying to whatever got there might have been to save her. She was lucky that day because someone must have been listening. "Tsuki! You're invited to the party!" Yuki cheered.
Out of nowhere, a disco ball started spinning above them and a DJ appeared, playing fast paced hip-hop music. Yuki then got a drunken idea. "LET'S PLAY STRIP POKER!" Yuki pulled out a deck of cards and sat in a semi-circle with Tobi and a broom.
Tsuki hesitantly sat in the circle. "Whats with the broom?" She asked.
"He's not a broom! He's Dei-kun silly!" Yuki then dealt the cards.
It was a good thing Tsuki was good at poker and she was still fully clothed while the other two were almost naked. This wasn't so great once Deidara walked into the room. Yuki ran up to him. "YOU'RE NO INVITED TO THE PARTY!" Yuki screamed as she shoved Deidara out of the room.
Deidara really didn't like the close contact with the almost naked girl as she pushed him away. Yuki then left to go back to the room and caught Tsuki trying to escape. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE THE PARTY! IT IS FORBIDDEN BY THE LAWS OF ME!" Yuki yelled as evil lightning flashed in the back round.
In the back of the room, Tobi watched his mate yelling at her sister and decided it was smexy. He stumbled over to where the two girls where. "MINE!" Tobi then glomped Yuki to the ground and removed what little clothing they had left on.
"Tobi! You're such a good boy!" Yuki began to flirt with the drunken male. In the back round, Tsuki was almost thankful that the crazy drugged up couple had been distracted. She somehow felt that this would come back to haunt her, but right now, she just wanted to get out of there.Just then, the Akatsuki thought it was lunch time, so they went the only way that they could get into the kitchen, through the living room (which they were apparently were in). Yuki and Tobi saw all of the people and sorta started up with flamethrowers and kicked out the members while screaming "YOUR NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY! GO AWAY!!"
About fifteen minuets later, the akatsuki were eating hamburgers in the meeting room,
"Okay, WHO thought it was a good idea to give Tobi and Yuki drugs, sake, and I think coffee at the SAME TIME?!" Leader yell-asked. Hesitantly, Dark Zetsu raised her hand along with Hidan.
"Now, I understand Zetsu, but YOU Hidan?! Did you see what they are doing in there?! IF THEY HAD COFFEE AND DRUGS AT THE SAME TIME, THEY SOULD BE AT IT FOR DAYS AND THE T.V. REPAIR MAN IS COMING LATER TODAY!! If you want to see any of your shows ever again, I suggest that you get them back into hell. Or into a different room. As long as the repair guy guy doesn't see them. They might kick him out of 'the party' as well." Leader reasoned. The rest of the Akatsuki gasped, the spectervision was the center of what they did when not out on missions.
"Since this is their fault, I suggest that you get them back into hell. NOW!!" Leader commanded. Zetsu (Dark) and Hidan grumbled as they set off on their new mission.
"How are we supposed to break those two horny-crazy-people apart?"Zetsu complained (Dark)
"How the hell am I supposed to know? If we even think about going near their little 'party' they might turn us into dog food. We need to somehow get invited into the 'party' and push the said 'party' into hell. Now, how are we going to do this?" Hidan thought rather logically. He must REALLY want the T.V. fixed if he was actually thinking on that level. Zetsu (dark, ya know what? I think you get the gist of it) then shoved him onto the wall and made out with him. Just then she made Hidan really drunk and stumbled onto the scene. They were so wickedly weird that they both, somehow, got invited into the party. After some espresso and vodka, Hidan and Zetsu shoved them into hell and locked the room. They heard a DJ going and some loud shouts and laughter.
"Wow, those two are probably having the biggest party this side of the Nile river." Hidan said in a weird accent. (OMG!! HE'S A HILL-BILL!! RUUUUN, FORREST, RUUUUUUUUUUN!!) Just then the music stopped and the demons carried Yuki and Tobi off to the palace. After that, those two were on a two day binge of the 'please touch me there' game, drugged up and caffinated edition! Now that the Akatsuki got rid of those two, it was actually peaceful for a little while. Meanwhile, off in Konoha, Sasuke felt something twitch in the back of his mind. 'Somebody is reviving the Uchiha clan. How did Itachi get a girlfriend?!' Sasuke then ran off in the direction of the Akatsuki hideout. After a little while, he ACTUALLY found it and stormed inside.
"OKAY ITACHI!! HOW DID YOU GET A GIRLFRIEND?! THAT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE!!" Sasuke screamed at the top of his lungs. Itachi turned to see his little brother standing in the doorway of the hideout.
"How did you find the hideout?" Itachi asked, completely ignoring Sasuke's question.
"IT DOSEN'T MATTER! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DESTROY THE UCHIHA!" Sasuki accused.
"I did." Itachi continued wonder how Sasuke had found the hideout.
"Well, if you don't have a girlfriend, did you rape someone and get her pregnant?" Sasuke asked. "Shame on you. That is disrespectful and wrong." Sasuki scolded. "And I know it wasn't me because I wouldn't do anything of that sort to a woman."
Deidara walked into the room. "Is it her?" Sasuke asked.
Deidara was mad. "I'M NOT A WOMAN UN!" He yelled.
"Yeah? And what if I don't believe you? How do I know you're not a girl?" Sasuke asked. Tsuki stormed into the room after hearing the fight.
"BECAUSE HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!" Tsuki then dragged Deidara out of the room so if she exploded on Sasuke, Deidara would not suffer.
"Since when was I your boyfriend, un?" Deidara asked.
"SINCE I SAID SO!" Tsuki was going to definitely explode if she didn't find something to take out her anger on.
Tsuki then stormed back into the room. "WHY DID YOU CALL DEIDARA-DANNA A GIRL?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!" Tsuki scream-asked.
"Because I want to see Itachi's girlfriend. Don't say he doesn't have one because there is no other way he could revive our clan." Sasuke explained. "Unless he raped someone. If it was that, shame on you Itachi." (a/n: Well SOMEONE seems a little over using the rape option, AREN'T WE? looks at Sasuke suspiciously)
"Well it's not him. There is a third surviving Uchiha, and I know it is the third. Not either of you." Tsuki said.
The Zetzus walked into the room. "Might it be either of them?"
"No."
Kisame walked into the room with Konan. "How 'bout them?"
"Nope. But The fish looking one is 'Tachi-san's girlfriend."
Itachi paled. "How did you know that?!"
"Girls gossip." Tsuki then heard someone else walk down the hall. It was Yuki who had a massive hangover form the drinking and drugs and caffeine.
"Is it her?" Sasuke asked. He then recognized her. "Hey! You're the crazy lady from the festival!"
Yuki smacked Sasuke. "KEEP IT DOWN!" Yuki yelled.
"Hippocrates." Sasuke muttered. Yuki then walked into the kitchen and pulled out hot peppers and chocolate. She melted the chocolate and dipped the peppers in the chocolate and began to eat like there was no tomorrow, but she hadn't eaten in two days, so who could blame her? It was actually typical for Yuki to eat that. She had eaten peppers since she was a baby.
"Yuki is the one who is reviving the Uchiha. The only mystery is the guy who is with her. Even that is easy. It's Tobi." Tsuki explained."I know. I asked Dave. He knows all and never lies." Just after Tsuki said that, a mysterious voice filled the room.
Know your Uchihas
Know your Uchihas
Know your Uchihas
"What is that? Where is that coming from?" Sasuke asked.
Sasuke Uchiha
"Yes?"
Wishes Orochimaru was still alive so he could have butt sex with him!
"No I don't!" Sasuke defended.
"Dave never lies." Tsuki was a little creeped out at the fact that Sasuke enjoyed having sex with the same gender. Tsuki didn't like homosexuals.
Sasuke Uchiha
"Don't even!" Sasuke fumed.
Copied Naruto's sexy no jutsu and had sex with every boy in the Leaf!
"GRAWR! WHERE IS THAT BASTARD?! I HAVE TO TEAR HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!" Sasuke rampaged. Tsuki smacked him.
"Calm down! Oh, and don't swear!" Tsuki yelled.
Now you know...
Sasuke Uchiha
"No they don't!"
Yes they do
"Hey Dave! I gotta ask you something to prove a point." Tsuki said.
Okay
"Who is reviving the Uchiha with Yuki?"
TOBI
"See? Told you." Tsuki stated smugly.
"But neither of them is of Uchiha blood." Sasuke siad.
WRONG!
"So if Yuki is of the Rosanjin clan, it is Tobi who is the Uchiha." Tsuki reasoned.
CORRECT! YOU WIN A MUFFIN!
A muffin then appeared in Tsuki's awaiting hands. "Yay!" she then ate the delicious muffin.
Sasuke was furious at the fact that his prestigious clan would be turned into crazy people. "MY CLAN WILL NOT BE REVIVED AS CRAZY USELESS MORONS!" Sasuke charged with his katana towards where Yuki was.
"Hold on! Get near her and you instantly die! That will give you less of a chance to redeem your clan by at least having a sane branch!" Tsuki tried to get him to calm down.
Sasuke froze. "You're right. I need to stay alive to bring dignity back to my clan." Sasuke then began to re sheathe his weapon. "I'm gone." Sasuke left.
"Finally! He's gone!" Tsuki cheered. "I better tell Leader-san about this though." Tsuki then set off to find Pein.
Pein was in his office when he heard a knock on the door. "Enter." He called.
Tsuki appeared before the leader and bowed. "Leader-sama. I have come to ask, why haven't we taken over the world yet? With our power, you could easily take all the hidden villages." Tsuki suggested.
"We are waiting for the right time. That would be in about two months. Why do you ask?"
"Because we don't have to wait. I could teleport all the Kages to the hideout and demand surrender or their ninja will be killed off starting with the most powerful until the last standing ninja. Then on to the villagers. They will surrender for the sake of the villagers and we will rule! I seriously don't know why we didn't do that in the first place, but now is the time to act." Tsuki said.
"You will not order the Leader! This plan is effective though. Have all Kages to the hideout meeting room." Tsuki smirked and walked off to the meeting room where she teleported the Kages to the meeting room.
"Welcome to the Akatsuki hideout!" Tsuki cheered. "Now! Surrender! If you don't surrender by the end of the next minute, you're ninja and villagers will be killed off one by one, starting with the strongest and the richest. One person will die every ten seconds you waste sitting there." Tsuki stated. "Any questions?"
Tsunade, Leaf village Hokage, immediately surrendered. She knew that Tsuki was being completely serious. "I surrender." Tsunade announced. She turned to the rest of the Kages. "You should also surrender. They have the goddess of death on their side. Your people will be killed without anyone even touching them. Even the most powerful."
"Good girl! You will be let off to be a civilian under our rule! Any other takers?" Tsuki asked.
The Raikage didn't think that Tsuki was really going to kill off the villages. "Pushover." Tsuki heard this and turned the Raikage into a nice china teapot.
"Anyone else doubt the power of the Rosanjin sisters?!" Tsuki yelled evilly. She gave them a look that just DARED someone to make another stupid remark.
The rest of the Kages decicded they would rather be ruled by the Akatsuki than be turned into a tea set and just have the village taken over anyway. They surrendered except for Kazekage, Gaara.
"People will start dying soon, what do you say, Kazekage-sama?" Tsuki asked. She really didn't want to kill anyone, but she would have to if Gaara did not surrender soon. "Please. I don't want to kill anyone. Just surrender and I will let everyone live." Tsuki pleaded. Time was ticking and Gaara just sat there. "Fine...time's up." Tsuki teleported Temari into the room.
"The deaths will begin." Temari began to run short of breath and began to cough. Gaara could just barely stand to watch as his sister died before him. "You can still save her if you surrender. If not, there will be many more deaths. Until the whole village is wiped out." Tsuki stated.
Temari was about to collapse from lack of air. "Okay, just let her go." Gaara finally caved.
"Good." Temari fell to her knees gasping for breath, before passing out on the floor. "Leader-sama, all Kages have surrendered to your rule." Tsuki bowed in respect. Tsuki then walked over to Pein. "Also, Yuki has become pregnant. This is the reason of my urgency. If we had waited any longer than a few weeks, we would have an extremely hormonal crazy lady on our hands. What will we do now that you rule all ninja nations?" Tsuki asked.
"We will deal with that later. What we will do with the countries is we will divide the Akastsuki with one pair to rule each major country, and then all the rulers of the countries will be ruled by me." Pein explained. "Any trouble will be quickly eliminated, or sent to me to handle. The pairing system should work better than just one Kage, because there are two people to discuss the matters of the villages." Pein stated.
"That is a good strategy. Since all the people are under one rule, there will be no war." Tsuki said. Tsuki never liked war anyway. She didn't like killing people or really hurting people either. It was really because she believed that if she hurt someone, they would try hurt her or dislike her greatly. But people who deserved it should just accept their fate.
"We will begin planning tomorrow for the devision of land between the Akatsuki. I want you to send a message to the ninja villages to inform them they will be under the rule of Akatsuki." Pein siad.
"Should I send the two Zetzus out too? It would be faster." Tsuki asked.
"Okay. The three of you will be sent out three days from now. By then the plans will be made out. We had some previous plans, so we just need to do a little revision to the plans. You are dismissed."
"Hai, Leader-sama." Tsuki then bowed and left Pein to inform the other members of Akatsuki. She found them hanging out in the living room. "Hey guys! We rule the world now!" Tsuki cheered.
"Well that was fast." Kakuzu stated.
"Yeah, but I had a plan to get all the Kages to surrender to Leader-san." Tsuki said as she sat next to her sister who was drawing some chibi in a notebook. It happened to be a picture of Yuki and Tobi in a field of flowers playing whack-a-mole. As to why, I don't even know.
"Oh! That reminds me! Yuki, has Itachi been kind enough to tell you why Sasuke was over today?" Tsuki asked.
Yuki shook her head as she continued her chibi. "Well, he somehow has a sense that tells him someone was reviving the Uchiha and came here to interrogate Itachi-"
"Did Itachi get Kisame-chan knocked up?" Yuki asked.
"No. It was Tobi who got you. Tobi is really an Uchiha and now, you are the person reviving the Uchihas." Tsuki was unsure how Yuki would react, and for a while, Yuki just sat there. "Yuki-chan?" Tsuki called.
Yuki turned to Itachi. "You didn't tell me this SOONER?!" She looked about ready to strangle the Weasel man.
"Calm down Yuki! You just need some nachos." Tsuki pulled out some nachos and handed them to Yuki.
"Yay! Nachos!" And Yuki devoured the poor nachos and left nothing in a matter of 26.7 seconds. And that was a big tray of the nachos.
"Okay, now tomorrow we have been requested to Leader-san's office to discuss the plans for rule. Three days from now, the Zetzus and I will go out to inform all villages of the surrender of the Kages. More will be explained at the meeting tomorrow." The majority of the Akatsuki left. The only ones still in the living room were Yuki and Tsuki.
"Yuki" Tsuki called.
"Yeah?" Yuki asked.
"What is it about sex that you do it all the time? Is it really all that good?" Tsuki asked.
"I can't explain that one. It is like a whole new experience. It hurts the first time but only for a minute. After that, it's amazing..." Yuki went off daydreaming about the wonderful experiences she had shared with Tobi.
"ooooookay then. I gotta go, you just need to stay away from any danger, and rest. Oh yeah, when I come back, remind me to go to 'hot topic' when we get back. 'Tachi needs more nail polish or else he'll explode." Tsuki said as she got her weapons and cloak on. (A/N: don't own hot topic)
"You don't have to lecture me on how to be pregnant and healthy. I can handle mysel-" And with that, Yuki ran away looking like she was about to barf. Tobi then ran into the room panicking.
"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!" He screamed as he went around and destroyed everything in his path. Tsuki guessed that somebody told him about Yuki and tried to calm him down.
"Its okay Tobi, stop rampaging and talk to me, what's wrong?" Tsuki asked. Tobi then calmed down a bit and sat down.
"Where's Yuki? Does she know? Is she okay?" Tobi started an endless ring of questions.
"She's in the bathroom, barfing, she knows, and is PREGNANT! She definantly handled this better than you, now CALM DOWN!! gosh..." Tsuki yelled. Tobi than ran to the closest bathroom that he could find and found Yuki on the floor, hair messed up, and kinda trembling. Tobi helped her up and took her back to their room in hell. Once there, she was sleeping, so he cleaned her up, as in he changed her into her pajamas, washed her face off, and got her hair back into its normal shape. He then put her into the large bed and turned off the light as he left.
"What's wrong, Tobi-sama?" asked one of the little wolves.
"Tobi's going to be a daddy, and he's confused." Tobi said as he walked off. Lets just say, in about three seconds, all of hell knew about their goddess, even the oh-so-responsible Sasori.
"Great! I don't like kids first off, and now I'll have to deal with a bunch of overly-powerful brats that I'm not even allowed to torture!" Sasori shouted at absolutely nobody. Back at the base, Leader was walking around in an Elvis suit because Yuki demanded him to and it was even funnier because he was singing old hits of the king of rock. Pein was really enjoying himself.
"Shweet! How did you get him to do this, Yuki-niisan?" Tsuki watched in amusement as Leader was preforming on stage. Yuki was just sitting there with her fish heads and cheesecake surprise, munching down like it was going to set of fire (A/N: ITS LIQUID FIRE!! AHHHH!!) any second. Now, Tsuki understood the weird food cravings, but that was just ridiculous! Who would actually eat that stuff? (HappyEmoPuppies: ((slowly raises hand)) Lil' Miss Lazy: PUT YOUR HAND DOWN RIGHT NOW!!)
"I don't know, I just told him to dress up like Elvis, and he did it! Cool huh?" Yuki said as she shoveled down more disgusting food stuffs.
"And WHY ARE YOU EVEN EATING THAT!? ITS GROSS!" Tsuki yelled at her sister. Yuki just shrugged it off and kept eating. After a few weeks, Yuki started getting a little pudgy. The worst part is that the more pregnant she got, the weirder she got, along with the food she ate. One day, she was in the bathroom with a bad case of morning sickness, when Sasori barged in.
"I UNDERSTAND THE MATING FOR LIFE THING, BUT WHY HAVE KIDS!?" Sasori was furious that she was even considering kids, let alone actually pregnant. Then he realized that she wasn't responding, so he checked on her in the bathroom and found her passed out.
"This is another reason pregnancy should be avoided at all times..." Sasori sighed as he lifted her. Even though she was a few weeks pregnant, she was still pretty much in shape, and nobody knew why. He called Tobi to come and change her because she was covered in vomit and water. Tobi immediately burst into the room.
"Wow, Tobi knew that morning sickness could be bad, but this is the third time this week that Yuki-chan passed out." Despite Tobi's cheerful tone, he was really worried about the baby's health. 'What if the baby is pushing on some of her organs or something...' Tobi thought as he washed the spit and water off of her and changed her clothing into pajamas. Sasori was waiting outside of the room because he wanted to talk to Tobi. Just then, he heard strange noises, like a young girl who was talking to her best friend about...popcorn batter is giving away free water batons? 'What the HELL are those two doing in there?!' Sasori wondered as he peeked into the room, and saw Tobi laying Yuki down onto the overly sized bed, tucking her in, and she was mumbling in her sleep.
"What's up with her?" Sasori whispered, so not to wake Yuki. Tobi just turned around.
"She talks in her sleep. Mostly about weird stuff too, not surprising since we ARE talking about Yuki." Tobi said in a normal voice. "She's also a REALLY heavy sleeper." Sasori got the gist of it and stopped whispering.
"Tobi, I know that you're going to be a dad soon, so..." Sasori grudgingly tried to find the words he wanted to say "...congratulations..." Tobi was really happy that Sasori actually said that to him, but he was still confused. He did love Yuki, but he didn't think that he would make a good father.
"Yeah, thanks, but Tobi doesn't know what to do. Who would tell them the right choices? What if we mess up? 'Cause you know that neither of us would be good disciplinarians, and who would take care of them if someone succeeds Yuki-chan?" Tobi held his head "Its just so frustrating! Taking care of Yuki when she passes out, making sure that she doesn't take any missions, which is really hard. The list goes on." Tobi said as he talked to Sasori. Sasori didn't know that Tobi was going under so much stress.
"Just another reason to avoid pregnancy. Its the damnation of this wrenched, and already over populated, world." Sasori stated. "I need to get to work now, good luck Tobi." And with that, Sasori walked off. After a few hours, Yuki woke up and walked to her personal kitchen. She was hungry for some tuna-pudding casserole and would make some from scratch if she needed to. After another hour, Yuki was eating contently in her living room, reading some of her favorite books, with headphones around her tummy. She turned up the Mozart and rubbed her stomach.
"Mommy wuvses you baby. She won't ever hurt you." Yuki said as she laid down onto one of the fluffy couches. Tobi was watching in the background, now he knew that Yuki really loved him and the thing that was growing inside of her. (A/N: WHY AM I WRITING MUSHY GUSHY STUFF?!) Then the moment was spoiled by one of the biggest wolves, who picked her up and brought her over to Tobi's hiding spot.
"Please take Yuki-sama to the master's quarters. She would be much more comfortable there than on one of those couches." The wolf said as Tobi picked up Yuki.
"Thank you." Tobi stated as he walked up to their room. He really was confused now. But that's an entirely different story involving how Yuki earned the loyalty of her subjects. Just before he opened the door to the master bedroom, Yuki shot up and ran into the bathroom. She threw up, and came out shaking and red-eyed. (blood shot, not drugs) She then cleaned herself up and went to see what time it was. Near midnight, so she just sat on the edge of the bed.
"You should get some sleep too Tobi, I feel sorry for being such a big burden. I hate being the center of attention. Oh, that reminds me, we got your formal clothes today. Just look in the closet and you'll find a statue of you in fancy clothes next to mine. Its not prissy or anything, so don't be skirmish when you see them. They actually look really nice. We also have to go to a ceremony in January. It estates you as an official citizen of hell and my mate." Yuki said as he got changed and sat down next to her on the bed.
"Okay. Tobi loves Yuki-chan. Good night." Tobi said sleepily.
"Love you too, night." and with that, those two were sleeping like a bunch of toddlers who were awake for three days and then saw Al Gore's movie. (A/N:HappyEmoPuppies: that movie would put anybody to sleep. I know, I had to watch it in Geo. Class in seventh grade with Miss.Wagner. It SUCKED!!) The next morning, Tobi woke up to a crazy Yuki, she was running around and screaming something about 'OMG! THE PANCAKES ARE REVOLTING!' or something. Tobi just got up, and then she stopped. She gave him a deranged look like a diseased squirrel would look at a ping-pong ball.
"Ummm, Yuki-chan?" Tobi asked, a little scared by what might happen. Then he felt something hugging him. He looked down and saw Yuki, crying and looking like she just saw something so scary that it even scared death (no friggin' DUH!)
"Yuki is scared! Stop them Tobi-kun!! they want to take away the fried paint brush! Without it, the kingdom of cabbage would cease to sell apple fridders!!" Yuki rambled. Honestly, Tobi had no idea what she was talking about, so he looked out the window and saw the biggest angry mob he's ever seen being held off by the castle guards. Now, the issue at hand, they need to get out of the palace right now. But Tobi still didn't know why there was a mob outside the castle, and he knew that he wouldn't get an answer that made sense until she calmed down a little. Then, Yuki grabbed his arm and pulled him to the library that apparently was a secret tunnel to the Akatsuki hideout. After a half hour of walking, they finally got into the base. Yuki took out some eggs and made a simple breakfast because she usually cooked by taste, but can't because of the weird impulse to put something just plain weird into the mixture. After about ten minuets, breakfast was done, the Akatsuki was eating, and Yuki had actually calmed down enough to actually talk about what was going on before without going on about aliens trying to make their pumpkin go in marijuana or something.
"The majority of the citizens of hell are opposed to royalty. They like me because I'm a good ruler, but they also don't like the idea of pregnancy, well actually they don't like successful births because it means 'more backtalk' when they get older and die. That's what they think will happen with my child or children, but they would be immortal because I'm the goddess of death. Then some are actually opposed to children under any circumstances. I swear, politics can be so challenging. Some are one way, and others are the other way, when you need to go a certain direction." Yuki sighed as she finished her breakfast. After that, The group decided that they were so bored that they were going to watch the stupid box. Yuki was still hungry, and she was too lazy to get up, so she got an idea.
"Hey, 'Tachi, make me some flan." Yuki commanded. Everyone else, besides Tsuki, gasped. Itachi then appeared out of thin air. He actually looked happy. Really happy.
"YES!! SOMEBODY WILL FINALY EAT MY COOKING!!" He shouted triumphantly. He then pranced over to the kitchen and put on his special 'Prettier than you' apron. Then several strange noises and smells were started coming from the kitchen.
"Nobody has ever eaten Itachi's flan and come out the same." Leader said while still in shock. Yuki just shrugged.
"I want flan, 'Tachi is making some for me, and I'm too lazy to get up right now." Yuki stated. Itachi then came out of the kitchen with the biggest flan that anybody has ever seen.
"Here you go! Tell m-" and with that, it was gone. Yuki then looked like she was high.
"Pretty colors..." She stated. Tobi was panicking because having a high pregnant woman was a VERY bad thing. It could hurt the baby, ect... and now everyone else was hoping that she would get her normal morning sickness soon so that the junk she just ate would get out of her system. Soon after she was done looking at the pretty colors, she got up and ran like she was going to be eaten by a eggplant. Then everyone heard somebody throwing up, then a big THUMP come from the bathroom.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER ITACHI?! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HER OR HARM THE BABY?!" Tsuki shouted. Itachi just sighed and sat down. He wanted to be a better cook, but was too cool to let anyone help him or teach him how. He even tried using his sharingan on Yuki while she was cooking a couple times before she was pregnant, but was always caught by Tobi or Tsuki thinking that he was trying to look through her clothes or something. Of course he already did that to the two girls during meetings, but then he got bored and tried to copy her chief skills.
"I'll go get her..." Itachi said like he was genuinely sorry for almost harming her. Itachi picked up Yuki, then brought her to her door. Just as he was about to open the door to hell, Tobi came up to him and stopped him.
"The citizens of hell are revolting, its not a good idea to put her in there right now." Tobi said like it was the scariest thing he ever said.
"Then what am I supposed to do with her?" Itachi asked.
"Tobi still has some stuff in his room. She could stay there until she wakes up." Tobi then took the unconscious Yuki and took her across the hall to his room. Itachi followed for some reason, only to witness Tobi change her and wipe the spit off her face. Tobi didn't know that he was in the room, because apparently, his room had its own personal emo corner, where Itachi was conveniently located. Tobi tucked Yuki into the small bed, then took off his mask and kissed her on the forehead.
"I love you, Yuki-chan." Tobi said in a deeper voice. Then he took out a book and started reading for a while. This kinda shocked Itachi, because of three things. One, Tobi wasn't talking in third person. Two, his voice was slightly deeper. And three, how does he even know how to READ!? Especially a book that thick. Then, Itachi noticed a reddish glow coming from Tobi's eyes. 'how did he acquire the sharingan!? I guess Dave was right, there is a third Uchiha member, but if I knew his real name, I could maybe know a little more about 'Tobi' and why he isn't dead like the rest of them besides Sasuke and I' Itachi thought. Then, Tobi noticed Itachi and put his book away.
"So, you now know about my 'little secret' that got me into the Akatsuki instead of being Zetsu's meal." Tobi said evilly " But the real question is, do you know who I am. I'll let you think about that for a while." Tobi then put on his mask and skipped off. Itachi knew that nobody would believe him about Tobi, except for Zetsu(s), Leader, and maybe the girls, but those people would be hard to get any information from. Zetsu(s) would either eat him or run away, Leader wouldn't even listen to him, Yuki would either retort smartly like 'I don't know, who are YOU?!' or protect his identity as best as she could by giving not enough information about him to actually get somewhere. Tsuki would be the easiest to get the info he needed off of. 'Grrrreat! I need to suck up to a complete psycho!' Itachi retorted in his head. Now, he felt a little creeped out about this little situation.
Later that day, Itachi went up to Tsuki and started sucking up to her immediately.
"Want some chocolate?" Itachi asked Tsuki just looked at him smiling like she was up to something.
"Nope!" She replied happily. Itachi then thought for a moment.
"You wanna peanut butter cookie?" Itachi was desperate for some answers and Tsuki was just preventing this.
"Not if its from you!" Tsuki squealed. Itachi was getting fed up with this game quickly.
"That's messed up!" Itachi yelled. Tsuki just smiled her 'I-know-what-you-don't' smile and kept doing what she was doing before...wait, what was she doing before? Itachi tried to look over her shoulder, but got slapped and yelled at.
"YOUR NOT INVITED TO THE PARTY!!" Tsuki screamed. This got Itachi really got curious. 'What the HELL IS THIS CRAZY PERSON DOING!? I NEED TO KNOW 'CAUSE I'M USUALY INVITED TO ALL THE PARTIES!! I'M TOO SMEXY TO BE KICKED OUT!!' Itachi's mind screamed.
"Fine, but will you do me a favor?" Itachi was hopeful that she would actually do something for him insteade of just asking unanswerable questions like 'I will if you tell me why light has energy if it doesn't have mass.' or something. (yes, Einstein was wrong about EMc2)
"Fine, I will if you give me some orange juice..." Tsuki said, immediately Itachi got her a gallon of juice.
"...from France." Tsuki finished. Itachi then got really frustrated and teleported to the fanciest country in the world. He waited for hours in a French grocery store just for a jug of 'Le French Orange' Tang Juices ( now with 90 more water, 40 more price!) When Itachi got back, Tsuki drank all the juice in one gulp.
"YUMMY!! Okay, now what do you need?" Tsuki said. Itachi's plan was coming together quite smoothly.
"I need information on who Tobi really is. I saw him earlier and he was acting all...different." Itachi stated. Tsuki paled, she knew everything about who 'Tobi' really was, but she didn't want to tell this fluffy fruit cake the history of the Akatsuki. She sighed.
"Do I have to?" Tsuki whined like a toddler. Itachi just nodded an affirmative answer.
"Fine, hold in to your underpants, because what I'm about to tell you is going to blow the crap out of you." Tsuki said. Itachi was really interested in what info he might get on Tobi's past.
"Tobi really is..." Tsuki paused for dramatic effect.
"...an Uchiha." Tsuki stopped as she saw Itachi then got really frustrated and started wheezing because he was expecting info on the subject Tobi. (NNNNEEEEERRRRDDDD!!!) Itachi then went on trying to spy on Tobi while he wasn't in hell
A few months later...
Yuki had gained some serious poundage and now had a big tummy like a pregnant woman who was more than nine months pregnant should. Itachi steered clear of Tobi, and Tobi was busy trying to keep up with Yuki's demands and weirdness. He also had to make sure that she didn't eat any of Itachi's cooking so that she wouldn't get food poisoning. Tsuki and Deidara got closer, and actually started acting like a bf&gf should. Leader was eating a gigantic crate of dough nuts the whole time and was started getting really fat, and Konan was busy actually doing the sorting for the village take over.
"Okay, now here are the villages and their leaders. The system is based on pairs because two heads are better than one..." The fat leader commanded. "...now, Tobi and Yuki will keep track of fire. Deidara and Tsuki will take Iwa. Kakuzu and Hidan will take Snow. The two Zetsus will take grass. And Itachi and Kisame will take mist. Any questions?" The pudgy leader asked as he reached for another dough nut. Yuki raised her hand.
"Yes, Yuki?" Leader asked as he kept eating his deep fried goodness.
"What country will you be commanding?" Yuki asked.
"The headquarters of the whole Akatsuki will be located in Rain village. Konan and I will operate there. We will also be taking care of the smaller villages that you didn't hear." The oh-so-fluffy leader said as he tried to get his dough nuts back from Konan
"No more dough nuts for you, mister. These have been all you've been eating for the past month! Do you know how fat you are?" Konan lectured
"ME LIKEY DOUGH NUT!! GIMMIE NOW!!" Pein roared.
The rest of the group left those two to quarrel over who will keep the dough nuts. Yuki then got a really crazy idea and asked Tobi to come with her to the leaf village
"Yuki-chan, why do you want to go to the leaf village so badly?" Tobi said as they walked to the leaf village that was only about an half hour walk. Or waddle in Yuki's case.
"I want to visit my family's tomb, I also want to do something..." Yuki said the last part very quietly so that Tobi wouldn't hear it. Once they got to the gates, the guards let them in because they thought that a man and his pregnant wife couldn't possibly be a threat to anyone. After a while, Yuki and Tobi found the Hokage tower and went inside, to climb to the top and announce something on the loud speakers.
"Attention residents of Leaf. This is one of your new rulers speaking. This village is under control of the Akatsuki organization. Now come to the Hokage tower to greet the correspondents responsible for the safety and welfare of your village." Yuki announced. After a little while, all of the village's people came to the tower and couldn't believe what they saw. A pregnant woman and a masked man playing checkers on the podium in front of the tower.
"Ummmm, hello? Who the HELL are you two?!" one random villager yelled. Team seven all went pale as they saw the couple. Tobi got up and helped Yuki get up off the ground.
"Hiya peoples! We are the new rulers of Fire Country! My name is Rosanjin Yuki and this is Tobi!" Yuki then saw the older people pale a bit.
"Y-y-y-you are t-t-t-the girl who murdered her whole clan before Itachi did?! You don't look a day over seventeen! You should be put under the worst rank in the ninja BINGO book! You killed the richest and most famous clan in the whole world!? You must have been, what, TEN when you killed then?! YOU WERE AT JONIN LEVEL WHEN YOU WERE ONLY TEN!?" One of the village women shouted. Yuki just smiled an evil smile.
"Yes, I was ten years old to this day when I killed my greedy, cold-hearted, family who wanted to use two little girls who just wanted a normal life. We just wanted a family that loved us, and some friends who cared! Just because we were gifted with the powers of that lone wolf that GAVE HIS LIFE FOR YOU THANKLESS PEOPLE, WE WERE OUTCAST! DID YOU EVER WONDER WHERE WE CAME FROM?! YOU THINK THAT THE ROSANJIN CLAN WAS A WEALTHY FAMILY, ALL THE CHILDREN WERE HAPPY!? THOSE BASTARDS DESERVED TO DIE!!" Yuki got angry at the last part. Tobi tried to calm her down, and all he needed were some chocolate covered pepper poppers. After he saw that she was gorging herself on the spicy food-stuffs, he made a quick announcement.
"I wouldn't mess with her if I were you. She has gained godly status since she left, as in she is literally a goddess. The goddess of death to be precise. And before you Jashinist out there start getting disappointed, yes a girl beat the god of death and gained his powers." Tobi announced. The village was now disscussing things about their two rulers, what will happen to the economy, what will they have to do, and what happened to Tsunade.
"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GODAME HOKAGE?!"
"WHO APPOINTED THOSE LOSERS TO RULE US?!"
"CRACKERS!!" Ahhh, it seems that only one person liked their new rulers.
"WHO SAID CRACKERS!?" Yuki commanded. A weird looking guy dressed in backwards florescent clothing ran up to the stage.
"And what is your name?" Yuki asked in a sweet voice
"knarF" Frank responded. Yuki then smiled a truly happy smile that she didn't use ever since she met Tobi.
"I LIKE YOU FRANK!! YOU WIN!!" Yuki shouted. Frank looked like he just won a gihugic bucket o' noodles.
"What do I win?!" Frank asked. Yuki then took out a pin that said 'secretary of weekly activity'
"You will organize the humiliating stuff that the villagers will do every week starting NOW!" Yuki announced. Frank then got up on the podium and shouted.
"EVERYBODY DANCE THE MACARANA NOW!!" And then our little fun dude started dancing the macarana and weird music filled the air. The villagers were very confused about what they were supposed to do.
"YOU HEARD THIS INSANLY AWESOME DUDE!! DANCE THE MACARANA NOW!!" Yuki shouted. Then all the villagers started line dancing. As soon as the music stopped everyone stopped dancing.
"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FORCING US TO DO THESE WEIRD THINGS?!" Naruto shouted. He knew that Yuki was off her rocker, but this is just crazy. Especially since she was video taping the whole experience.
"Shweet! This is going on YouTube!"Yuki shouted
"'Cause I wanted to see you guys do something fun! You all seem stuck up that its time to put some fun into this dull place! From now on, all houses will be painted various bright colors and shall never be dull again!" Yuki commanded. The villagers were ravenous by this point.
"WHO DIED AND MADE YOU QUEEN?!" One villager shouted.
"Tsunade did! Now do it or die!" Yuki commanded.
"Then how come she's standing right here!" One of the villagers shouted while pointing to a blond fifty year old woman.
"Because I brought her back from hell. NOW DO IT!" Yuki shouted.
"ITS TRUE! DO IT!" A very shaken Tsunade shouted. All the villagers gasped and hurried to buy all the bright paint to make their house brighter. Yuki grinned and left to find the old Rosanjin compound. After she found it, she looked for the graveyard and saw over one hundred tombs. She went right past a lot of them and went to the two biggest and most decorated tombstones. She then took out the same kantana she used to kill them and slashed their headstones. Tobi found her and wondered why she was disgracing the dead.
"Yuki-chan, what are you doing?" Tobi asked curiously. He then watched the two headstones fall the ground. Yuki then turned around.
"For filling a promise I made when I was seven years old." Yuki stated.
"What happened?" Tobi asked.
"When I was seven years old, my mommy and daddy said 'If you amount to anything, you worthless maggot, that will be the day someone could disgrace my family!' so I said that I would!" Yuki said cheerfuly. Tobi was a little disturbed by this, but went along with it. Then they started their half hour walk back to the base. Once there, Yuki and Tobi were tired, so they went through the secret passage that led them to their room. After they showered and got ready for bed, they went fast asleep. Then Yuki woke up in the middle of the night screaming. Tobi suddenly sprang up and helped her up.
"Yuki-chan!? What's wrong!?" Tobi asked in panic.
"OMFG!! THE PICKLES ARE EATING ME!!" Yuki screamed. Tobi then noticed that the bed was wet, and it wasn't urine. Then he finally got what Yuki was talking about, and he started running around the palace looking for some doctors or anyone who knows how to help a woman give birth. Yuki then was left, on the floor, in labor, and trying to concentrate so that the pain won't be as severe. She started breathing irregularly (now for a detour to a quiet meadow because the author doesn't want to write about Yuki giving birth to two beautiful children. Ahhhh, this is so relaxing and peaceful. Lets see how they are doing)
"AHHHH!!"Yuki screamed. (Okay then, now back to the meadow. Ohhh look! A pretty butterfly is fluttering in the breeze. Oh, god, its getting closer. NOOO STAY AWAY!! AHHHHH!!! GET THIS MURDUROUS BUTTERFLY AWAY FROM THE HAPPYEMOPUPPIES AND LIL' MISS LAZY!!! THEY'RE GOIN- oh, a Scottish terrier named Cloe-Cloe ate it(( she's our grandma's dog. She eats various insects.)). Ahhhh, its so peaceful. Oh, I think its over)
A very tired Yuki was laying down with the twins that she just gave birth to. A beautiful little boy, and a pretty little girl. Tobi was outside the room, because he was getting a little queasy from watching that. When he heard is was over, he came in and saw that Yuki was asleep and the babies were laying down next to he in two little cribs. Tobi then decided to go and tell Leader right away because it would be good to know why Yuki and Tobi are so tired, and why two little babies were at the table with them. He decided to ask why it only took Yuki about five months to give birth later. As he walked down the hall of the secret passage with a lantern, he noticed that the bottom of his pajama pants were wet. 'oh well, guess I'll have to change them when I get back.' Tobi then knocked on Leader's door. A groggy, fat Leader opened the door looking rather mad that someone woke him up.
"What is so important that you woke me up at two in the morning, Tobi?" Leader asked like he wanted to go back to sleep right now.
"Tobi's sorry to bother you, sir, but Tobi needed to report that Yuki just gave birth a few hours ago and will probably be late tomorrow. She needs to sleep and so do the twins." Tobi said. Leader then snapped right awake and started to pale.
"Take me to her right now." Leader commanded
"But Leader, Tobi doesn't think-" Tobi was then cut off by a rampant Leader.
"I said take me to them now!" Leader sounded pissed, so Tobi led the way to their bedroom. Inside, Yuki was sleeping in the overly sized bed with a bald little boy, who was contently sleeping and a little girl with silver high lites streaking her shoulder length hair and was giggling and wiggling next to her brother. Leader then did something un-leaderlike. He went up and started playing with the little girl.
"Awww! They are so CUTE!" Leader squeeled like a little schoolgirl. Then Yuki woke up and saw the red headed man playing with her baby girl.
"Give Mariko back. I need to wash her and get her dressed into some baby clothes." Yuki said tiredly. Giving birth really took everything out of her.
"Awww, but she's so cute! Her hair is so beautiful and she is so playful!" Leader said as the little girl gripped his finger.
"Be lucky that you saw them first. I would usually wake up Tsuki in order for her to see them." Yuki said as she went into the bathroom and washed the two little babies in the sink. After all the blood was off of them, she put a tiny blue jumpsuit with a little pooh-bear and tigger playing in a field on the little boy. She then dressed Mariko in a little pink dress with flowers on it.
"When did you decide a name for her?" Tobi asked
"I need something to keep me occupied while you are on missions. So Tsuki and I redecorated the room that was going to be yours into a nursery and came up with a few names. Do you like it?" Yuki asked.
"Yeah, its a pretty name. What about the boy over here." Tobi said as he held the little boy
"I was thinking that since I named it if it was a girl, that you would name it if it was a boy. I guess I wasn't expecting twins." Yuki said. Tobi then thought for a while.
"How about...Reizo." Tobi said after a while. Yuki agreed and Leader was watching the little babies sleep. He then noticed that both the little girl and boy had tiny wolf ears and tails. Mariko's were blond streaked while Reizo's were pitch black. The little girl seemed more playful and bubbly than her brother, and kept trying to play with leader.
"Leader, I need some sleep and so do the babies. I think you should go back to your room." Yuki said with a yawn. Pein then said bye to the little babies and went back to his room. After Yuki changed the bed sheets and fed both of the babies, she went to sleep. Tobi was already out like a light, so she tried not to wake him as she crawled into bed. She lightly hugged him as she fell asleep. They will surely sleep in tomorrow.
Tobi was first to wake up. He checked the time on the clock hanging off of the wall. Eleven thirty in the morning. He also heard the babies fussing in the cribs next to the other side of the bed.
"Since when did- oh yeah..." Tobi then tried shaking Yuki to wake her.
"Yuki-chan! Wake up! The babies need attention!" Tobi shouted, trying to get her up. Yuki then woke up groggily.
"Mmmm, Tobi, wha- Oh yeah, the little whones!" Yuki said with a weird Spanish accent on the word 'ones'. She then fed them and washed them before showering herself. Tobi followed and both got dressed afterward. Yuki carried Reizo while Tobi held Mariko. Mariko was playing with her daddy's shirt while Reizo was squealing happily because Yuki was talking non-sense to him. Once in the hideout, Yuki cooked up and elaborate breakfast and put the babies on the couch. After she was done, there was an ecstatic Hidan in the kitchen.
"OMG!! CREAPES'!! YOU HAVEN'T MADE THESE IN FOREVER!! Wait... what happened to your stomach?" Hidan then pointed to an not-so-svelte Yuki. Yes, she did loose half of her weight because of the twins, and another 25 of it was water, so that left about a quarter of belly flab that probably dissolve quickly because Yuki works out often and has a high metabolism. She then took the extra thin pancakes with fruit on them to the table and ate hers as fast as she could. She then took the two babies to the table and introduced them.
"Itachi, You are now officially an uncle. This is Mariko..." Yuki then pointed to the little girl. "...and this is Reizo." Yuki said as she tickled the little boy. Tsuki squealed, Itachi paled, Pein was happy and playing with the little girl, and everyone else was shocked.
"I thought it took nine months for a baby to develop! How did you give birth to these two in five months?!" Kisame shrieked.
"I guess that because Tsuki and I are half wolf, than gives us some wolf-like qualities. Like short pregnancy!" Yuki said happily.
"But it takes wolves three months to give birth!" Kisame stated.
"Well tough cookies 'cause that's how long it took!" Yuki squealed.
"I want one!" Tsuki said. Yuki and Tobi just stared at her with wide eyes.
"WELL YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY!!" Yuki yelled. She then continued tickling Reizo. Itachi then did something he never EVER did before. He called Sasuke and told him to come over to the hideout. After about an hour, a very nervous Sasuke appeared at the door of the mansion.
"I-i-itachi? What's going on!? WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO COM-who's babies are those?" Sasuke stopped his rant when he noticed two little babies playing with their mommy's tail as she was sitting on the couch playing with the two little kids.
"Sasuke, you are now officially and uncle! Meet your niece and nephew! This is Reizo..." Itachi then picked up a little boy who was trying to reach Sasuke's funny looking hair. "...and this is Mariko!" Yuki then brought over a little girl who was trying to play with Itachi's ponytail. Sasuke then paled a little.
"...you mean that our clan really IS being revived by a couple of weirdos who had sex one day and one got pregnant!? I thought that it was just a very scary dream! Oh dear god! I don't want to be an uncle!" Sasuke panicked. He didn't know HOW to be a good uncle, he also didn't want his clan to be a bunch of overly powerful weirdos!
"Hey, Tobi, do you think that these two will be powerful ninja when they grow up?" Yuki asked. Even though she just gave birth to these two a few hours ago, she already knew their personality's. Mariko was more playful and loved attention, while Reizo liked sleeping and was a happy,quiet little boy most of the time. She put Reizo on top of a folded up blanket in the corner, while Mariko was being passed around to everyone.
"Be careful. They just ate a few hours ago. I don't want her throwing up on anybody." Yuki warned. But, Mariko was enjoying all the attention. Soon, Reizo started crying and Yuki took him into the bathroom, to change his diaper. She threw it in the dumpster conveniently place right outside of the bathroom window. Mariko then started crying and Yuki took her to the kitchen to feed her.
"You're a hungry little baby, aren't you? Come on, mommy needs to go back to the living room. There you go." Yuki talked quietly as she fed the little girl. When she was done, and burped, they went back to the living room.
"How did you know that she was hungry instead of in need of a diaper change?" Sasuke asked.
"I have a super sensitive nose. I smelled that Reizo needed a change, while Mariko just wanted to be fed because she didn't smell like a dirty diaper." Yuki stated. She then took them back to hell and put them to sleep. After clipping a baby monitor to her waist, she headed back to the living room in the Akatsuki hideout.
"Sasuke, are you staying for lunch?" Yuki asked. Sasuke nodded because the guy with the slicked back silver hair always talked about her food like it was a gift from god. That afternoon, Yuki make French onion soup. After she took the soup dishes out of the oven, she served them to each member. And Sasuke. After Sasuke took one sip of the soup, he felt like he was in heaven. He ate the soup like there was no tomorrow. He then took the dirty dish to the sink and thanked Yuki for the great food and left. Everything else was pretty normal for the Akatsuki for a little while after that.
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Hope you liked this new chappie! The HappyEmoPuppies wrote most of it, so I hope it came out alright. If you review, she'll put on her weird announcer guy again. You also will be mentioned in our little chat with Itachi that happens before the chappie. REVIEW!! Byez my peoplez!