Everyone becomes the thing they most despise. - Robert Benchley
~lalaLAlala~
"The Yaegers are coming for the weekend," Helen informed Daria when questioned on what she was doing getting out one of the many kitchen appliances that, despite it never getting used, they'd kept when they moved from Highland. "I can't serve them store-bought bread!"
"Why not?" Daria demanded flatly, even as she made plans to pack a bag and her twelve-string and escape from her own home to Casa Lane, depending on how horrific this invasion would turn out to be.
"I haven't seen them for twenty-five years," Helen said with a helpless shrug. "And let's just say they know a different Helen. A Helen famous for her oatmeal-pumpkin-seed loaf," she added with a proud, if slightly sheepish, expression.
That meant that these people were some of Jake and Helen's friends from when they'd been hippies, and as much as Jake and Helen themselves had changed, it was entirely possible that these people were not as changed. Or could be even more drastically changed than Jake and Helen themselves were.
This definitely called for an evacuation of the premises.
Before Daria could make a break for her room to pack though, there was the beep of a car horn from out front.
"They're here! I hope they don't think I've changed too much," she said, and touched her hair nervously.
"Just be yourself," Daria advised. "That's what you're always telling me."
"I could kick myself for that," Helen answered her daughter plainly, even as she turned to go to the front door.
"What kind of car is that?" Quinn asked as she and Daria stood, side by side and behind their parents as they greeted their old friends.
"That's not a car," Daria answered as she took in the old daffodil-yellow Volkswagen beetle. "It's a time machine."
As well as the old hippies that got out of the time machine, there was a dog – a German shepherd that was apparently version three of the dog that the couple had owned back when Jake and Helen had been childless.
"You have a very old soul," said the woman, Willow, to Daria when they were introduced.
"It just looks very mature for its age," Daria answered.
"Is this a retro thing, or are they serious?" Quinn asked Daria quietly when Willow turned back to Helen, Jake, and her husband Coyote.
"The latter," Daria answered. "I am going to escape to Jane's before their good vibes rub off on me, I swear it," she said, and started to turn back to the house, intent on packing her bag and running for the metaphorical hills.
"You can't leave me alone with those... yuppies!" Quinn objected fearfully.
"Yuppies are from the eighties," Daria corrected. "These people are hippies."
"Right. Thanks. But you still can't -"
"Hey Ethan, come over here and meet the girls!" Coyote called back to the car.
A young man in a black t-shirt pushed the front passenger seat forward and climbed out onto the pavement.
"You can go," Quinn corrected herself as she took in the teen.
"See if you can dig up some dirt on our parents as well," Daria suggested. "Something we can use against them later."
"Agreed."
~lalaLAlala~
Daria packed up the things she'd need to stay over night at Jane's, then called her friend to ask if it was okay for her to come over.
"Sure," Jane agreed over the phone. "I think we may even actually have some food in the house at the moment, but there's the option of pizza if we don't, so it's not a problem. Really Daria, Casa Lane's doors are always open for you. I should probably see about getting you a key to the back door so you can let yourself in whenever."
"Thanks Jane," Daria said. "But just letting me crash there when I need to get away from my family is enough."
"Well, and I'm pretty sure I've told you this before, friends are the family you choose for yourself," Jane said. "Which makes my family a total of four strong. You, me, Trent, and that sweet ol' lug Jesse."
"Jane, I should not be able to smell teenage crush over the phone line," Daria informed her friend dryly.
"What do you expect?" Jane asked. "He's my cool older brother's best friend, he's here every other day, so there's a lot of exposure. I don't really expect anything to come of it, especially not while I'm still a minor, but he never wears a shirt and he is nice to look at."
"Okay then," Daria allowed. "I'll see you soon."
"I'll clean out Penny's room for you," Jane promised. "See you soon, Amiga."
Daria hung up the phone, made sure nothing important or vaguely incriminating in any way was lying around, then picked up her bag and her guitar-case.
"Daria?" Helen asked when she saw her come down the stairs. "Where are you going?"
"I figured it would be easier for all involved if I spent the weekend at Jane's," Daria answered. "I'll see you Sunday."
Helen sighed. "Alright," she allowed, a little bit saddened, but if that was Daria's decision, then there wasn't much she could do to sway her.
~lalaLAlala~
"Now, Penny hasn't actually lived here for a few years," Jane said as she escorted her friend up to the room she'd cleaned out. "But occasionally the prodigal siblings do return to Casa Lane, and as unlikely as it is that Penny in particular ever will, she's still... harsh. I decided that it was a better idea to clean out Summer's old room instead. We never see her any more unless her kids show up, in which case she comes by and collects them before returning to her little section of the world as quickly as she can. Considering her kids are only a few years younger than Quinn..."
"I think I get it," Daria said. "Thanks Jane."
"No problem," Jane answered with a shrug. "Here we go, what was Summer's room is now officially yours when you stay over. Do whatever you want to it," she offered, and opened the door.
There was an empty bookshelf, an empty chest of drawers, an empty wardrobe, a desk, one of those weird posture chairs that had a place to put your bum and a place to put your knees, but no back or arm-rests to speak of, and Jane had made the bed with the generic grey sheets that had probably been a different colour once upon a time, but were softer than anything because of the number of times they'd been washed over the years.
There were a few stains on the walls and a spot or two where the plaster was flaking off, but the floor was clean.
Daria turned to her friend. "Thanks Jane," she said again. "From the bottom of my black and shrivelled little heart."
"No problem," Jane answered with a smile. "Unpack, make yourself at home, and then we can go see what Trent and Jess are up to and discuss the possibility of either going out for or ordering in a pizza or four."
"And what are you going to do?" Daria asked as her friend headed for the door.
Jane smiled back. "I'm going to make an appropriately artsy sign that designates that as your room. I may also make one for myself and one for Trent. Possibly even Jesse as well. He can have Wind's room," she said with a chuckle.
Daria smiled at her friend, waved her off to have her fun – it would involve the glue gun that looked like it came out of a science-fiction movie, she was sure – and started shifting her things. It really was very considerate of Jane to do this for her.
"The family you choose for yourself, huh," Daria said softly, and smiled to herself. She could get behind that idea, even if it was mushy.
~lalaLAlala~
"Hey Trent."
"Hey Janey," Trent greeted when the two girls knocked on his door frame – the door was open – while Jesse was wearing his headphones, failing to find the difference between the sound of Zappa on CD and the sound of Zappa on vinyl. "Oh, hey Daria," he added.
"Hey Trent," Daria answered. "Hey Jesse."
"Hey Daria," Jesse returned. "Hey Jane."
"Hey Jesse," Jane replied. "Listen, you guys think you could put the sound-experiments aside for a while? It's about dinner time and we were thinking pizza."
"I could eat," Jesse said.
"Man, you can always eat," Trent quipped with amusement. "Pizza does sound good though," he added. "Going out or ordering in?"
"You could probably stand to leave the house for a while," Jane told her brother flatly. "So, going out. You can explain what the heck you've been doing in here on the way."
"Sure," Trent agreed, and grabbed his shoes.
"Meet you at the car," Jane said, and guided her friend back out of her brother's private version of the city dump, where piles of landfill were substituted for piles of unwashed clothes and various musical accoutrement.
"So, what's the deal with the top-secret experiments?" Jane asked once they were all in the car.
"My parents gave us their old records to sell at the flea market," Jesse answered. "But now Trent wants to keep 'em."
"It's the warmth of vinyl man," Trent insisted as he drove. "I'm tellin' you, it's a richer tone."
"The flea market, huh? Need any help?" Jane probed from the back seat where she sat with Daria.
"We have to be there by seven to set up," Jesse supplied.
"No problem," Jane declared. "Daria's an early bird."
"Nothing like watching the sun rise," she agreed. "Except watching the sun set in reverse," she added with a mild smirk.
As intended, it got a round of laughter from her friends. And yes, she realised in that moment, that extended to Jesse as well, however casual their friendship might be.
"Good one Daria," Trent complimented. "Hey, think that could be a song?"
"On its own? No. With some help? It's got potential," Daria allowed, then narrowed her eyes at Jane. It was an expression that said "I will be demanding answers from you later."
That 'later' was in the bathroom at Pizza King.
"You do appreciate you've sentenced yourself to an early morning as well, right?" Daria demanded of her friend shortly. It wasn't an issue for her. Once she was awake, she was awake. Whatever the time was. Which, in the Lane household, did count as being an early bird.
Being awake didn't qualify her as a 'morning person' though. That would require being awake and chipper. And she was never 'chipper'.
"I know," Jane admitted with a wince and a grimace. "But look at it this way, it's a chance for you to spend some quality time with Trent, and for me to spend some quality time with Jesse. With luck, I'll be able to get over the he's my brother's best friend crush. Then again, the flea market is so romantic this time of year..." Jane allowed.
Daria raised an eyebrow behind her glasses in blatant scepticism.
"I hear the chia pets are in bloom," Jane explained.
Daria rolled her eyes, and permitted that they should leave that female sanctuary of private conversation – the girls toilets – and rejoin their male counterparts.
~lalaLAlala~
"If we've got to be up early tomorrow, I'm going to bed now," Daria said when they returned to Casa Lane.
"Good plan," Jane agreed, and led the way inside.
"We'll wake you at six in the morning," Trent promised as they climbed the stairs to the part of the house where sleeping happened.
"How will you manage that?" Daria queried, genuinely curious.
"It'll be easier to stay up all night than get up early," Trent answered with surety.
"Get to the flea market, take a nap there," Jesse agreed. "But if you girls sleep, then you'll be awake tomorrow to watch the stall while we catch some Z's."
"Okay," Daria agreed. "Well, g'night. See you in the morning," she bid, and headed into the room Jane had given her, closing the door behind.
"That's new," Trent declared softly, surprised, when he saw the sign on what he was sure was Summer's room. A sign that said 'Daria'.
"I made it," Jane informed him. "Daria's practically part of the family, so when she called to ask if she could stay here while she avoided her parents friends, I cleaned out Summer's old room for her, and declared it now the secondary habitat of Daria Morgendorffer. Made one of these -" she jerked her thumb at the name plate, "- for you, me, and Jesse too."
"Me?" Jesse asked, and pointed to himself, surprised.
"Of course!" Jane said. "If I'm declaring my best friend to be family, then, as Trent's best friend, you are too."
Jesse smiled, bashfully pleased by the declaration. "Thanks."
"That's real cool of you Janey," Trent told his little sister fondly.
"Yeah, well, that's now officially Daria's room when she's staying over," Jane informed the guys.
"If you want, you can have Wind's old room," Trent offered Jesse.
"See, that's what I figured!" Jane agreed brightly.
"Thanks, but I'm okay with living out of my parents house," Jesse said with a smile.
"If you say so," Jane said with a shrug. "Well, g'night," she said, and headed into her own room.
The next morning Jesse and Trent loaded the records into The Tank (which was still mostly clean, though there was a new vomit stain since the failed excursion to Alternapalooza) while the girls readied themselves to face the day. When they reached the flea market, they found the stall-space they'd been given, and the guys promptly zonked out, leaving the girls to do the setting up. Fair trade, they hadn't forced themselves to stay awake all night.
Beside the boxes of records, Daria set a folded piece of paper behind a faded red handkerchief and claimed a stool. The folded piece of paper read: If You Think My Music Is Good, Please Give. She'd brought her twelve-string with her, and was content to play softly. This attracted curious individuals that could be loosely termed 'customers', and since they were there anyway, they looked through the merchandise. Since Daria wouldn't be drawn into conversation while playing, Jane was able to convince a number of these people to part with their money while simultaneously relieving her of the records they'd brought.
~lalaLAlala~
When the hour reached roughly lunch-o'clock, the crowd was still fairly thick around the table, since Daria was still playing, but the merchandise had been reduced to the Zappa record that Trent and Jessie had been conducting 'experiments' with the previous day. Jane had sold the records to the crowd for a buck-fifty each, so there was a good amount of profit made off the hundred-and-thirty-odd records they'd brought along.
"Okay," Daria declared, and lowered her hands from her guitar strings. "My fingers are bleeding from playing too long without a break."
"Again?" Jane asked.
"Yep," Daria confirmed, and reached for her guitar-case. She always kept band-aids in there with the spare strings and the various other guitar-playing accoutrement. Including a cloth to wipe the blood off the strings. "Time for me to pack up."
There was a general 'aw' of complaint from the crowd, preceding a dispersal. A number of people did drop more cash onto her handkerchief on the table before they left though.
The last of them had just vacated the area when Trent and Jesse finally woke up.
"Well Trent, now that you and Jesse have returned to the land of the living," Jane said as she counted out the day's earnings. "Maybe you and Daria can go get me some soda?" she requested as she yawned looked longingly for a moment to the chair that her brother had stood from. "With caffeine?" she suggested, and returned to her counting.
"Good idea," Trent answered with a smile. "Jesse, you'll keep an eye on Janey, right?"
"Sure man," Jesse agreed. "Just bring me back a burger."
"No problem," Trent said with a nod. "Coming Daria?"
"Just let me finish putting on the band-aids," she requested, having already shifted her kerchief full of money into her guitar-case, only slipping a little into her pocket for spending. She didn't think it all that likely that she'd spot anything around the flea market that she really wanted. "Okay," she said as she wrapped the last one around her right pinkie finger and pulled her guitar-case onto her back. She didn't want to risk her guitar being stolen, or sold by an absent-minded friend either, for that matter. Unlikely as the latter scenario might be. "I'm good to go."
"So..." Trent started. "Janey said something about you avoiding your parent's friends this weekend?"
"Their sunny sixties optimism clashes with my bitter nineties cynicism," Daria answered with a shrug. "Tries to cancel it out too, which is what really gets to me."
"Hold-over hippies?" Trent asked, a tiny bit horrified. He couldn't properly muster up the energy to be properly horrified.
"Yeah," Daria admitted. "They're big believers in voluntary simplicity."
Trent chuckled. "I gotta use that," he said. "Sounds much better than 'broke'."
Daria raised an eyebrow at the man. "I know for a fact that my mom is run off her feet with legal proceedings, so there can't be a shortage of subpoenas for you to deliver," she quipped.
Trent coughed. "No," he admitted. "There's always someone suing someone in Lawndale," he said ruefully. "Still, keeping up the house seems to sap the funds as quickly as they come some days."
Daria nodded. "I can understand that," she allowed. "As for the hippies... I guess we should give them some credit. Civil rights, environmentalism, the woman's movement... people believed in stuff back then."
"I know," said Trent. "What's up with that?"
Daria chuckled, and came to a halt. "Here we go. A source of sodas and burgers alike. That should satisfy Jane and Jesse."
"Right."
They got a large cola for Jane, three regular-sized colas for the rest of them, and four burgers-with-fries.
"My theory is," Jane declared when Daria and Trent returned with their bounty, "that our primitive hunting instinct has no outlet in modern society."
"Cool," Jesse said as he accepted his bag of food from Trent.
"So rather than stalking prey," Jane continued as she took her food and large cola from Daria, "we substitute the shopping experience, and hunt for objects."
"You're forgetting the predatory behaviours of the underclassmen looking for a date," Daria corrected her friend. "But otherwise I don't disagree with you. Still, looking around this place, maybe the Yaegers are on to something. All these people swapping all this useless junk? At least they're not caught up in a consumer frenzy."
"Yeah," Trent agreed. "I guess if you've got to hold onto something from the sixties, peace and love beats a Get Smart lunch box."
"Especially if the lunch is still in it," Daria agreed cynically.
"Oh yeah, we sold the last record while you guys were gone," Jesse said. "We're in the clear to abandon the booth and wander around if you want."
"How about we just abandon the place all together," Daria suggested.
"Why?" Jane asked, confused.
"Because Mr DeMartino is over there looking through magazines with Upchuck," Daria answered, and pointed out the booth where, of all the words visible on the sign, 'Pulp' was the clearest and easiest to read.
"That's just disturbing," Trent agreed with a shudder.
"Finish eating, and then we split," Jesse recommended.
"Agreed," Jane chorused quickly.
When Daria eventually returned to the house of her parents (two nights at Casa Lane and it was 'home' already), Jake declared that it was time for him to let go of the past. It seemed that they'd worked out their 'modern capitalist pigs' and 'stuck in the days of flower-power' issues with the Yaegers prior to Daria's return.
Jake offered Daria all his old records. Daria accepted, and promptly went inside to call Jane – and asked how she felt about the idea of repeating a trip to the flea market to sell yet more records.
Jane promised to rope Trent and Jesse into joining them again, and suggested Daria also bring her dad's old six-string to sell. She should be able to get a good enough price for it that she'd be able to afford a new... well, newer acoustic six-string that wasn't covered in hippie motifs.
It was agreed.
"Oh hey Daria?" Quinn called once her sister set the phone down.
"Yeah?"
Quinn smirked. "I got dirt," she chirped proudly. "Wanna hear it?"
Daria smirked back. "Does that even need an answer?"