I'm strapped down to the gurney again. My stub of an arm itches but I can't scratch it and I can barely even move enough to breathe. Kurotsuchi towers over me with a long needle full of the darker yellow liquid. Here we go again. He injects it into my chest and my heart keeps its pace without any faltering this time, which is a relief, but the fire in my veins comes back just as powerful as before. I writhe against the table despite the compliance drug also being in my system.
After what seems like hours, I am blind, but the pain in my veins begins to dull. It allows to let my mind wander to better things, and I begin to think about Ichigo. Where is he? I know now that this supresin makes a minute seem like an eternity, so I know he hasn't abandoned me, but I feel an emptiness when he isn't here. I do sense a slight twinge, pulling me towards the resting area where he probably is, but it's faint. The thought of him and what we did earlier starts to set my mind at ease. I'm not going to deny that it felt good to be in his arms that way, but part of me just can't seem to grasp it. It's hard to accept care from someone that is assigned to you. That and he was an insufferable ass for weeks after I first woke up, treating me like a lab rat and using me to make himself feel better. At first, I thought him being physical towards me was just that- to make himself feel better. But now, everything seems different. Ever since he was brought back he's been more caring and understanding towards me. It's no longer just physical desire, I think it's mental, too. It's like whatever wall that was between us before was suddenly knocked down as soon as I threw him into one.
"Hello, Dr. Kurotsuchi," I hear Ichigo enter the room, and my heart swells.
"Imposing on my subjection again, Dr. Kurosaki?" Kurotsuchi can barely contain his hostility.
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it. Just grabbing a few things before I start my research." There is a sound of shuffling and the clinking of glass.
"Pretty late to start research," Kurotsuchi mumbles.
"I could say the same for you." Ichigo retorts.
Kurotsuchi says nothing as Ichigo continues to shuffle around. I sense Kurotsuchi leaning over me and I feel a slight pinch at the end of my arm, where it itches.
"Hm," Kurotsuchi types into his digital notepad. "We have regrowth."
"What?" The clinking of glass stops as Ichigo steps toward the gurney. I feel him grasp onto my arm, giving it the lightest of squeezes. "You don't mean-"
"Regeneration," Kurotsuchi says with excitement. "This is everything we ever dreamed."
I had a feeling that it was itching for a reason. The possibility of my arm growing back like it was before and being fully functional is invigorating, and I should be elated, really, I should, but all I can think about is Nel. Her arm isn't going to grow back unless she takes the supresin. While some side effects so far have been enabling, like better eyesight, hearing, and strength, I think of the bad side effects. My heart gave out, my veins are on fire, and sometimes I wonder if the reason I lost control that one fateful day with Ichigo is because of the supresin itself. My vision has never grown red with anger before, it was an entirely different emotion I had never dealt with in my life, and suddenly I was a fitful, violent monster?
Supresin is one hell of a drug.
The fire starts to resurge into my veins and I gyrate against the restraints from the pain.
"Kurotsuchi, your subject is in distress." Ichigo says with a poorly-disguised hint of concern in his voice.
"That response has been natural, nothing to be worried about. I'm keeping an eye on it." Kurotsuchi responds as he takes my vitals. Ichigo huffs and continues to rummage about as if he has something to look for. I know he doesn't. "Taking your sweet time, I've noticed." Kurotsuchi says.
"Just making sure everything is in working order. I'll be out of your way in a moment."
I don't want him to leave me alone in a room with Kurotsuchi, but he can't stay here forever without seeming suspicious. I should count my blessings, though. He's here now, and Kurotsuchi is performing the subjection in the subject's lab instead of the other lab wing where Ichigo won't have access until the end of his justices.
The thought of going back to the rest area, if Kurotsuchi ever lets me have a night's sleep, makes me antsy, and I can't decide if it's a good or a bad thing. I'm sure Ichigo would want to see me. For one, I'd love to feel him on top of me again and have him look in my eyes the same way he did before, but on the other hand, I'm so fucking scared. I've never had anyone look at me that way before.
.-.-.-.
Minutes pass like hours but they pass nonetheless. Kurotsuchi continues to monitor my arm closely, looking at the signs of regeneration. The stub itches like crazy now, almost enough to make me forget the fiery pain in my veins. Ichigo leaves so as not to seem suspicious, and I feel the pull towards him strain with every step he takes. He walks by every so often, pausing by the door long enough to listen to what's inside, and then walks away again. It feels like days, but finally, the straps on my body release and Kurotsuchi plants me into a wheelchair. The fire starts to quench, and my head rolls back as I sigh and let the pain drain out. I am wheeled into one of the resting area rooms and Kurotsuchi shuts the door without saying a single word.
Finally. After a few minutes, the door opens again. I feel warm arms wrap around me and place me on the small bed. He places a blanket over me and starts rubbing my back, saying nothing but showing everything.
After a few minutes, Ichigo speaks. "Are you okay?"
I nod. I got through it, just like I thought I would. The thought of twenty-nine more days of it is daunting but do-able. It gives me a reprieve to think about other things.
"I'm sorry." I say.
"What the hell for?" Ichigo asks. He places a hand against my cheek and turns my head to face him.
"For how I acted when we... you know."
He smirks. "When we you know? I'm not sure I get what you mean."
"Shut up," I smack his arm. He smiles and leans down to kiss my forehead.
"Do you need to sleep?"
I nod. It feels like I haven't slept in weeks.
"Okay," Ichigo rises from the bed and places his hand on the doorknob.
"Ichigo?" I call out.
"Yes?" He turns to me with a look I can't identify.
"I don't want to be alone," I say. "Not anymore."
"Wait a half hour, and then come to my room. You can stay in there until we hear Kurotsuchi coming for you." He gives me a sneaky smile like we're teenage lovers hiding under everybody's noses. My heart surges and my breathing picks up pace and I realize that part of me hadn't expected him to offer. He winks at me and closes the door. Who knew that thirty days of justices meant to keep us apart is actually bringing us together?
The thirty minutes seem like nothing compared to what I've already labored through today and as soon as they're up I rise quickly, the drugs having worn off completely and giving me full function. My vision, hearing, and strength seem the same as before under the influence of Ichigo's supresin, so I wonder what it is that Kurotsuchi's strain of supresin actually does. I felt the itching long before I was ever under Kurotsuchi's control, which leads me to believe that Ichigo's supresin is the one that caused the regeneration without all the ghastly side effects. I just hope that Kurotsuchi changes his chemical mix up soon, I'm not sure how many more days I can take of this strain before I go mad.
But at least I'll have memories like these.
I make sure no one is around before knocking on Ichigo's door. He opens it with the widest grin on his face and tugs on my arm, practically pulling me inside. He grasps me in a big bear hug and then sets me down on the floor.
"Well, that's a hello." I say breathlessly.
"So is this," Ichigo caresses my chin in his hand and pulls me up toward him for a warm, lingering kiss. I deepen the kiss, thinking about what we did earlier and having the burning desire to do it again, and doing it right this time. It feels like ages since that happened even though my rational mind says it was only hours ago, but I want him now more than I think I ever have. His unwavering support has been something I've never known before, but I've had plenty of time to think about it and I'm ready to be done with thinking. It's time to accept what I've been given and allow myself to open up to the one person on this shuttle flying into oblivion that cares. My hands fly to the hem of his shirt and I practically rip it off his body, exposing his taut chest and abdomen. He shivers against my touch.
"Rukia…" He says with closed eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." I say. No more bullshitting. He takes me into his arms and we collapse onto the bed, tangled in the sheets. All breaths, touches, and loaded looks. As he enters me he looks into my eyes with unbridled passion and I've never felt more close to anyone in my entire life.
.-.-.-.
The next many nights passed much like that. I'd sleep against his chest, his steady, strong breaths lulling me to sleep, and then he'd wake me up as soon as he heard Kurotsuchi scuffling about. I'd race to my assigned rest area and close my eyes, pretending that I've been there all night before being taken to my next subjection. No one was the wiser, and according to the permanent tracker in Ichigo's head, he was simply sleeping in his own rest area and then got up to do his research so even the Embassy had no idea. It was the perfect system. On the tenth day, Kurotsuchi finally had a new strain of supresin to experiment with. It was no longer a murky yellow, but a clear, almost silvery liquid. It didn't burn, and time passed somewhat normally under its influence. Ichigo came in every single day to check on me, enough to get on Kurotsuchi's nerves, but he always had an excuse.
On the fifteenth day, my arm had grown down to the elbow. It still itched, but there was also a throbbing ache. I overheard Kurotsuchi mumbling that it was because the new bone was forming. He had canceled the order for my prosthetic as soon as he saw the growth of bone. He took me out of the subject's lab a few times, only to test my physicals in the same gym-type room that Ichigo took me to weeks and weeks ago to test his own supresin. From what I could tell, my sight, hearing, and strength stayed relatively the same.
On the twenty-second day, I was lying naked next to Ichigo, tracing the plains of his chest with the tip of my finger after a particularly grueling subjection with Kurotsuchi. The subjection hadn't been painful in any way, but it lasted for fourteen hours and he talked to himself the entire time. His voice was grating.
"What are you thinking?" Ichigo asks. His voice is like butter.
"About how insane this all is." I say. "I lived my whole life on Rukongai and then I was reborn here. I died and now I'm better than before. I met you."
He clutches me against his chest. "Just eight more days."
I smile.
.-.-.-.
The thirtieth day dragged. Ichigo was buried in his research. Not because he wanted to, but because he assured me that the Embassy would come by to make an official statement that his justices were over and he had to look immersed in his work. Kurotsuchi seemed to notice the lack of Ichigo's presence and was more forceful with me. The restraints were so tight that they dug into my skin, but even that annoyance couldn't stop me from being excited. It was my last day with Kurotsuchi and then I could finally be back under Ichigo's care. I would be treated like one of the race again, not a lab rat.
Kurotsuchi pays particular attention to my arm today. It's grown back down to the wrist, and he seems immersed on how the hand will start growing back, being that it's one of the more intricate parts of the body. He casts a mold of my arm and then stores it away.
After a while, I hear a clamoring of footsteps outside the room. The voice of my father booms.
"Ichigo Kurosaki, your thirty days of justices have concluded. The Embassy has reinstated your subject back to you, effective immediately."
"Thank you, sir."
The footsteps recede. That's it? His justices are over? My heart feels like it's going to pop out of my chest at any moment. Kurotsuchi sighs from across the room and then approaches me. He must have heard the Embassy's decree as well. Wait, how is his hearing that good? He unclasps the restraints and I get up into a sitting position on my own accord, the compliance having worn off well over an hour ago. I crack my neck and roll my shoulders as Kurotsuchi's eyes burrow a hole into my head. Kurotsuchi leans forward and whispers into my ear.
"I can smell him on you, subject."
I instantly break out in a cold sweat. Don't say anything, it could give you away. I stay silent.
"Your eyes say very much, my beautiful little specimen." He fingers through my hair, straying long enough to graze his long fingernail against my earlobe. His cold hand rests at the top of my thigh. "I hope to see you again soon."
"Get your fucking hands off my subject." Ichigo stands in the open door way.
"Of course, Dr. Kurosaki." Kurotsuchi smiles slowly and steps back. "The specimen is all yours."
Ichigo narrows his eyes at him and approaches the gurney. "Can you walk?" He asks. I nod, and jump off the gurney and back on solid ground. Ichigo lets me go out first so that he's between me and Kurotsuchi, but it doesn't make me feel any better. My skin crawls. Once we're out of the subject's wing and into the long hallway, he turns to me.
"What was that about?"
"I think he knows…" I say, looking anywhere but at him in order not to give us away. Ichigo's pace quickens and we leave the subject's hallway and soon make our way to the Lab wing on the other side of the shuttle. We enter an abandoned room full of old machines and flickering neon blue lights that cast ghastly shadows on our faces. There shouldn't be any cameras here, but I scan the ceiling regardless.
"How?" Ichigo asks.
"I don't know," I say, "but before you came in, he said I can smell him on you."
"Shit," Ichigo rubs the back of his neck and sweat perspires on his brow. "That's not good. But I don't know what his motive would be to expose us."
"I can think of a few reasons." I think back to Kurotsuchi's not-so-subtle touch.
"I would kill him." He says. At first, I thought he was joking, but the look on his face says otherwise. I wonder if he's seeing red the same way I did.
Supresin is one hell of a drug.
.-.-.-.
It's officially been three months since I woke up. According to Ichigo, there is only nine months left to go until we reach our new home. We haven't heard anything from Kurotsuchi or the Embassy in the two days that have passed since the end of Ichigo's justices. I hadn't seen Ichigo in those two days because we were trying to keep everything on the down low. Today was the day that we would head back to the regular lab and do my second subjection with Ichigo. He actually did have time to tweak his supresin during his thirty days and he was very excited to try it out, as was I. My hand was back, but the fingers were stiff, unmovable. I was hoping another boost of supresin would help with the recovery.
Today was also the day that the Embassy had an announcement to make. Every official was supposed to report to the Embassy's conference room, and it would be broadcast for the lesser passengers in their respective rooms. All the doctors were invited, and the Embassy also made a point that the awakened subjects were to go as well, so I guess that meant I was going, too. The fact that the subjects received a special invitation put Ichigo on edge.
"It just doesn't make any sense…" Ichigo ponders while he fidgets with a needle, preparing his new batch of supresin. I'm laying down on one of the hospital beds, watching him work. He's actually pretty endearing when he's focused.
"All my life I was taught that subjects were just tools used for experimentation, and yet you and Chad get a special invitation." He stabs the needle forcefully into a container pregnant with a dull, gray liquid. "This just doesn't sit right with me."
"Relax," I roll my eyes. "You worry too much. They're probably reminding everybody that the time is near to establish a new home and they want to make sure that everyone knows the subjects aren't part of the race and blah blah blah."
"You didn't grow up under the Embassy's eye." Ichigo sits down next to my bed and reaches out to hold my hand. "Am I not allowed to be worried about you?"
"Nah," I give his hand a squeeze. "That's my job."
He huffs and releases his hand to tap the needle to get rid of any air bubbles. "I've worked over this meticulously during those thirty days. I'm almost one hundred percent sure that there won't be any horrid side effects with this batch. No heart palpitations or fits of rage."
"Good," I say, "I'd hate to throw you against a wall and crack your skull open again."
"Low blow," Ichigo chuckles so I know I didn't go too far with that dig. His hand hovers over my chest. "Ready?"
"As ever."
He carefully eases the needle under my skin and injects it. The drug feels cold, but not too cold, in my veins. I hold my breath and wait for my heart to do something crazy, but it stays the same. I take in a big breath of relief and Ichigo does the same. He pulls me into a bear hug quickly and then releases.
"Do you feel any different?"
"No." I say. "Better than different. I feel fantastic." I crack the knuckles on my right hand out of habit, and realize that they bend smoothly. Ichigo sees this, and grasps my hand, twiddling with my fingers and folding them.
"Full function." He says with awe. "I didn't think I could do it."
"Good job, doctor." I say. "But are you sure my insurance will cover it?"
We both break out in guffaws, filling the room with laughter. But the laughter is cut short when a booming voice breaks out over the loudspeakers in the ceiling.
"Every designated official and awakened subject please report to the conference room immediately."
Ichigo presses his hand to mine for the briefest of seconds. We're not sure if there are cameras here, so everything we do, we do quickly and make it seem like little accidents. He leads me out of the room and down various hallways. Beings file about like little worker bees on their way to pay homage to the queen. We enter the Embassy wing and file into a large room I haven't seen before. The floor is a glossy tiled marble and there are rows upon rows of metal benches all facing a large stage with a shiny wooden podium sitting atop of it. The ceilings are high, the highest I've seen on this shuttle, and as I follow the lines of the walls up to the top, I gasp at the sight of stars. The whole ceiling is see-through. A red sun burns in the distance with a dark moon passing over it, slowly eclipsing the room in darkness. Yellow neon lights flicker and brighten to accommodate the light, and the room is bright again.
"Ichigo," A voice from behind us. We turn to find Uryu making his way through the crowd. "Where is your subject?"
"Here," I peek out from behind.
"There it is, good." Uryu sighs relief. "You must not have looked at your notepad in a while, Kurosaki, I sent out a message to you and Isshin yesterday. The subjects are to sit together, up on stage. Did you give it compliance?"
"Oh." Ichigo to hide his concern. "Of course, uh," his hand presses against my back, urging me forward. "I just must have forgotten to take it to the stage. My apologies."
"Follow me, subject." Uryu waves me over and starts to walk toward the stage. I throw a look over my shoulder at Ichigo, who stands still, making the crowd cut past him to find their seats. His eyes say it all.
He's terrified.
I spot Chad's tall frame moving amongst the crowd. What the hell is going on? Are they going to display us like zoo animals? Uryu guides me up a small flight of stairs and onto center stage. There are two chairs sitting next to each other on the right side of the podium. Chad sits down, and I do the same. I keep my eyes ahead as I speak.
"What the hell is going on?"
"I have no idea." Chad speaks softly. "But I don't think it's anything bad."
"How could you possibly think that this will have a happy ending?" I ask.
Chad simply shrugs, and I wonder if he's under the influence of a small dose of compliance. "I just do."
I huff, and wait. Soon enough, my father slinks out from the shadows and stands behind the podium. Him being in such close proximity causes my heart to jump into the depths of my gut. Does he know that I'm half of him? Does he care? All I can do is sit still and try to focus on breathing at a steady pace.
"Thank you all for coming." Byakuya addresses the audience. "As you know, today marks nine months left in our journey to a new and better life."
The audience erupts into cheers, which Byakuya silents immediately with the raise of a hand.
"As you also know, our shuttle has been experiencing some difficulties lately. We have suffered many losses because of the power that goes to keeping the subjects dormant."
Where is he going with this?
"The Embassy has decided that due to the violent nature of the last gravity shift, we will be awakening the subjects early. Their stasis tanks take up too much power, and they will be decommissioned tonight."
Murmurs throughout the crowd.
"Now, I know what you're all thinking, but trust me, the Embassy has been working tirelessly to make sure that each and every subject has a positive impact on society. Our numbers have suffered a great deal because of the gravity shifts, as well as the increasing desire not to couple." He pauses, and I know for a fact that he's burrowing a hole in Ichigo's head. "The birth rates have been declining steadily over the past eighteen years, which will negatively impact our quality of life on our new home. So, the Embassy has decreed that the awakened subjects shall be assigned a coupling and contribute to the race's population. The resulting beings will be assigned a family and reintroduced as a member of society."
I look at Chad with wide eyes.
"The Embassy believes that these two subjects were awoken early for a reason, and the Embassy has decided that they will become the first subject coupling. This coupling will be documented under their assigned doctor's care to make sure the combined supresin strains to not negatively impact the child. If we do not see a result twelve months from now, the female will be terminated. The Embassy's will is final."
The crowd responds. "As it was, as it will be."
"The Embassy is the Reason."
"As it was, as it will be."
My father exits the podium, not even sparing a glance in my direction. Ichigo approaches the podium, along with Orihime and Isshin, who must be there to take Chad away.
"I'm surprised that the Embassy is allowing their kind to breed." Orihime states as she passes Ichigo, making her intentions known. She thinks he's untouchable and disgusting after being brought back. She may have kept the secret, but I can tell she thinks the whole ordeal is revolting. She turns up her nose and ushers Chad towards her.
"I guess I'll see you, soon." Chad says as he walks away, behind Orihime, his towering frame casting a shadow upon me. As much as I like Chad, the thought of him pushing himself upon me makes me want to gag.
"I'm sorry, son." Isshin places a hand on the shoulder of Ichigo, who has refused to say anything or display any emotion. I rise from the chair and approach the two men as Isshin continues to speak. "I know how hard this must be for you. Let's just try to be as accommodating as possible."
"I'm not going to let him fuck her." Ichigo balls up his fists. I flinch at the anger in his voice. Don't see red, please don't see red.
"She will be terminated if she doesn't produce a child in twelve months, Ichigo." Isshin turns his son around to face him forcefully.
"Protect your subject. Always protect your subject. You know what happens when they come back twice." He says and then saunters away. "And come visit your mother sometime. She misses you."
The room is empty now and Ichigo and I can do nothing but stare at each other as the weight of the Embassy's decree billows around us.
.-.-.-.
A/N: I was thinking about adding another chapter from Ichigo's perspective, probably from when he first gives Rukia the supresin to now, so I'd be including his thoughts on him dying, being brought back, and how he dealt with it. I feel like I wasn't able to properly write his emotions from Rukia's perspective because he had weeks to think about being brought back and how to deal with it while Rukia was in a holding cell and had no idea what he was going through. What do you guys think? On another note, what did you guys think of this chapter? Reviews are always greatly appreciated.