Chapter 14

Jasper POV

It took one week until detox was over and Carlisle was with me throughout almost all of it.

I had almost started to love him for that if I hadn't hated him so much for making me do this.

But I had a plan. And this plan just included Carlisle seeing me go through withdrawal. It was the only way to convince him that I really stopped taking anything.

It was almost ridiculous how easily he believed me when I told him that I didn't bring the pills with me from Aberdeen.

Some small part of me was feeling bad for lying to him like that. But he had blackmailed me into coming back fo Forks. It was only fair.

Okay maybe it wasn't. But I didn't care for the most part. And the small part of me that did care was easily ignored.

Carlisle had told the rest of the family that I had the flu. He too believed it was better not to tell them what was really going on.

Rosalie and Alice both sat with me for a few hours each day and I had to really focus on not slipping and saying something about the drugs.

While Carlisle was at work and the others at school Esme sat with me. She gently rubbed my back when I threw up into a bucket and she whispered reassuringly into my ear when I begged for drugs. I knew Carlisle told her.

The hardest part was not to give in and take the pills I hid under my bed. I knew they were there almost taunting me with their presence. But in order for my plan to work I had to keep strong.

I hardly slept during that week. I was either in too much pain or nightmares woke me up soon after falling asleep.

So when detox was over that was the first thing I did. I slept.

I still had nightmares of course but I actually managed to sleep for a few hours without waking up.

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On Friday, ten days after my last pills Carlisle drove me to what looked like a church community center in Port Angeles after dinner. He didn't really say much about where we were going until we arrived.

"What are we doing here?", I asked him raising an eyebrow.

"It's a meeting. Kind of like AA but for teenagers. There's nothing like it in Forks. Now I will only drive you here tonight. I expect you to go here every week for the next 2 months at least.", he explained. I stared at him. Every week?! "I know you don't like it. But please at least try it. It could really help you."

I didn't have much of a choice now did I? So I nodded and got out of the car. Carlisle said he would come and pick me up again in one and a half hours.

So I sat there for one and a half hours listening to other people talking about their problems. I felt bad for all of them. But I sure wouldn't start complaining about my life now. Especially not to strangers I've never met.

So I just sat there not talking to anyone.

When it was over I still had to wait 15 minutes for Carlisle to pick me up.

I sat down on the curbstone and pulled my cigarettes out of the pocket of my hoodie.

"You know those will kill you, don't you?", someone behind me said effectively startling me. I jumped and turned around.

The man standing behind me was the group leader of the meeting. I wasn't sure but I thought his name was Garrett. I didn't really listen to what he said during the meeting.

"You're new, right?", he asked smiling down at me. I nodded and turned around again lighting my cigarette.

"You didn't say anything during the meeting.", Garrett said and sat down next to me. I just shrugged. I didn't want to talk to him.

But he apparently wanted to talk.

"I know it can suck to be sober at first. Believe me, I've been there. But it gets better! What's your name?"

I didn't answer right away.

"Jasper.", I eventually mumbled after a few moments.

"Hello Jasper.", he said in this typical support group voice and chuckled. I didn't.

To be honest, I didn't completely know why I was in such a bad mood. All these people talking about how much they craved drugs just made me want it more.

And the fact that I had to go back there again didn't help either.

"You know, Jasper, you won't get better if you don't start talking.", Garrett sighed when I didn't react to his joke. Now that nearly made me laugh.

"I'm not here because I want to get better!", I snapped. "I didn't want to come. But my -" I had to pause to find a word that fitted Carlisle. "- foster father made me. I don't need help!"

"Of course.", he said. He didn't get up though. He opened his mouth to start talking again when thankfully Carlisle silber Mercedes pulled up on the parking lot.

"That's my ride.", I said before Garrett could even make a sound and quickly got up.

I shut the door behind me cutting off his goodbye.

Carlisle looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What...?", I started to ask until I noticed the still burning cigarette in my hand.

"Oh... sorry!", I mumbled and pulled down the window to throw it out. Carlisle nodded approvingly and started driving.

"So?", Carlisle asked after a few minutes of silence. "How was it?"

I just shrugged. He wouldn't like my answer so I just kept quiet.

Carlisle hummed next to me as if I had answered anyway and nodded knowingly.

"Well maybe the one next week is better.", he said optimistically. I snorted.

"Yeah about that.", I said. "If you won't take me, then how am I supposed to get there?" I was genuinely curious.

"Esme agreed to let you use her car. She doesn't need it much anyway.", Carlisle explained. I raised an eyebrow. They trusted me that much?

"And what am I supposed to tell Rose?"

"Well I thought about telling her that you are going to group therapy. After all that's not too far from the truth.", he shrugged. I was impressed to be honest. I didn't expect Carlisle to lie to his family like that. I agreed that it was the best for all of us but still. Impressive.

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One week later I had to go to another meeting. I had started taking my pills again the night after the first one. Just to be able to sleep. I wasn't about to take then during the day. That would be too obvious. But at night, when no one saw, I would take one or two.

I didn't see the problem. After all they helped me sleep.

Carlisle didn't suspect anything yet. At least I didn't think he did.

Since I used less of them now they lasted longer than expected but by then I had started to run out.

I wasn't able to get any more yet since I hardly ever was on my own. At least not in public.

But I had a good excuse for going out on my own thanks to Carlisle.

So after dinner Esme gave me her car keys with a reassuring smile. Carlisle stopped me before I was gone though.

"I'll see you back here in a few hours.", he said and it sounded vaguely like a question. I just nodded. No doubt he would stay up waiting for me.

I did actually go to the meeting. Not because I thought it would help me. No, I just wasn't sure if they would inform Carlisle when I didn't show up.

But like last time, I just sat in the back and let other people talk.

When it was over I once again sat down outside on the curbstone to smoke.

This time I heard Garrett coming before he sat down next to me.

"Glad to see you came back!", he said lightly.

"I didn't have much of a choice.", I muttered breathing out smoke.

"Still, you came. Are you waiting for your dad to pick you up again?", he asked. I tensed at the word 'dad'.

"He's not my dad!", I hissed quietly. I didn't know why Garrett calling Carlisle my dad made me so angry but it did.

"Whatever. Are you?", he pressed and I just held up the car keys in response.

"They already trust you that much, huh.", Garrett chuckled. I just shrugged.

"Answer me one question. If you drove here yourself and you say you don't want to be here, then why are you? Why not go somewhere else in the meantime?", he asked in a strange tone of voice.

"Because -", I said and stretched the word. "You would just tell my foster parents that I didn't show up."

Garrett just nodded but there was a strange look in his eyes.

They wouldn't!

That changed everything.

I got to my feet and put out my finished cigarette.

"I really have to go now!", I said to Garrett and walked back to Esme's car. I didn't wait for a response.

I drove around a while until I found a more shadier looking part of town.

I parked the car under a streetlight and walked towards a dark alleyway near the harbor.

When I finally spotted a dealer it had started to rain and I drew up my hood.

At first the man looked at me warily but as soon as he noticed that I was coming directly towards him he plastered on a fake smile.

It was a quick business. He had what I wanted and even promised me a discount if I came back to him next time.

I thought about taking some right away but I still had to drive back to Forks. And it was raining after all. I wasn't that stupid.

So instead I put the small bag of pills into my pocket and left Port Angeles.

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It was around 10pm when I arrived back at the Cullen's. Most of the house was dark except for the living room where still some lights were switched on.

Carlisle sat in one of the armchairs reading when I stepped into the room. When he heard me come in he closed his book and came towards me.

"I'm back.", I mumbled and turned to leave. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

"Wait!", he called and caught up to me. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and turned around.

"How did it go?", he asked. I thought about telling him the truth for a second.

"It was ok. I talked to that one guy, Garrett. He seems nice.", I shrugged. Now technically that wasn't a lie. Carlisle smiled and nodded.

"See I told you it will get better.", he smiled. I shrugged again and yawned.

"I'm tired, Carlisle. I'm gonna go to bed now.", I said quietly and he nodded.

Once upstairs I locked the door behind me and pulled out the small bag of pills. They weren't especially many but it would last a week.

I popped two into my mouth a swallowed them without water before going into the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth.

I was pleasantly high when I came back into my room and soon fell into a dreamless and restful sleep.

Since it was Saturday the next morning I was able to sleep as long as I wanted to. I woke up to sunshine streaming through my open windows. I still didn't like it when they were closed. It made me feel trapped.

The rain must have stopped during the night and the clouds cleared. And even though it was such a beautiful day I was in a sour mood.

I woke up hungover and had a massive headache.

Since the whole family was home I wasn't able to take more pills. I sighed and reluctantly got out of bed.

I sat at the kitchen table slowly eating my cereals when Alice skipped into the kitchen happily.

"Hello Jasper!", she greeted in a sing-song voice and sat down next to me.

"Morning.", I answered.

"I was wondering-", she said while fidgeting in her seat. "- if you want to come to Seattle with me today. I wanted to go shopping with Rosalie but now she ditched me to do something with Emmett." I smiled despite myself. Alice just had that effect on me. She always made me smile.

"I don't want to go alone!", she whined dramatically and I laughed. "Please Jasper!"

"I don't know... I have important things to do like reading and sitting under a tree.", I teased.

"Pretty please?", she begged with big, beautiful doe eyes.

"Alright. But only if we don't spend hours in each store.", I laughed and she shrieked in excitement. No matter how often Alice went shopping she always was as enthusiastic about it as if it was her first time.

"Great! I'll go and get ready!", she said and jumped up.

I chuckled and shook my head in amusement. I quickly finished my cereal and went to get my jacket from the guest room.

"Where are you going?", Carlisle asked me when I passed him in the hallway on my way to the garage.

"Alice wants me to go shopping with her.", I answered. "That's ok, right?" I suddenly felt uneasy about it. Maybe he didn't trust me yet after all.

"Yes if course it is! I'm happy you are spending time together!", he smiled and patted me on the shoulder. I somehow managed not to flinch. He smiled reassuringly and kept going to his office.

Alice waited impatiently next to her car. Her face lit up once she saw me. I smiled at her. She really was an amazing girl.

A/N: So what do you think? Please review and tell me.

Until next time :)