By the time I got home, I was crying violently. I dashed into my room and pulled open my closet, going to the very back, behind my shoe boxed and dresses I never wore. I pushed behind everything and pulled out a box. It was my Sam box. I opened it up to find all my memories, and all my pain seemed to go to the back of my mind for a second as I had a flashback ot the night Sam gave this to me.

I woke up with a huge grin on my face. Senior year was finally over! Sam was lying beside me in my back yard, sleeping, and I was the happiest girl in the world. I looked up into the sky, the sun was setting, me and Sam had fallen asleep on the picnic blanket this afternoon. I had just graduated high school almost two days ago, and I was marveling over the college I was going to, how Sam was going to go with me, and how we were going to get a small cottage in the woods, where you think magic really does exist, and it would be our own slice of heaven.

"Leah." Sam was behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about the future, and what it holds." I giggled and Sam kissed me again.

"So….I have something for you. I know it's kind of weird, but my mom, and your mom have been working on it for about a year now. I am bein forced to give it to you, I was threatened with starvation." He chuckled, and headed into the house. I stayed where I was, jumping in my seat. I love presents!

Sam came back out with a box in his hands, it was decorated with all sorts of beautiful lace, and ribbon, and pictures of flowers, it looked beautiful. He set the box in front of me, and kissed my cheek before I opened it.

I gasped. Inside was a picture of my mom on her wedding day. It was an old photo, and was black and white. It was their first kiss as husband and wife. I looked back at Sam, tears in my eyes.

"There's more." He gestured to the box, and I set the photo down gently on the grass. I started to cry even more when I found an even littler box with Ingredients to happiness written on the top. I opened it up to find millions of pictures of me and Sam, sand from the beach, the same exact movie stub from our first date, the bag of marbles I threw at him a month ago when I got angry at him. Every photo ever taken, every memory, anything.

"Sam…" I choked out. I was at a loss for words, and I was crying.

"Shh… Lee, it's OK." He encircled me in a hug, and was kissing the top of my forehead.

"I love you Samuel Joshua Uley. Foerever and ever and always."

"I love you too Leah Clearwater." He laughed and pulled back. I strained my neck up, and kissed him.

I was so much more than content, I was happy, I was floating on clouds, I was with Sam Uley, and I was Leah Clearwater.

END OF AMAZING FLASHBACK!!!!

I cried even harder as I looked through all these pictures. I was a wreck at the back of my closet, at least I didn't have to worry about anyone coming in on my emotional breakdown.

I set the box down and fished through the back of my closet some more. I found Sam's old jacket. He'd worn it almost every day. It still smelled like him. I cackled. I am so pathetic, but that's never stopped me before. I put on the jacket, and picked up the box again. I found the wedding book my mom had made. It had all of my favorite things in it. It had the picture of the perfect wedding cake, the most amazing dress I had ever seen (I found it when I was the flower girl at my Aunt Mona's wedding) Bridesmaid dresses, tuxedos, shoes, the perfect hairstyle, it even had something old, new, borrowed and blue.

I started to cry even harder as I realized I would never have any of this. I would never Mrs. Leah Uley, or Mrs. Leah anybody. I was going to end up alone. I would never die, and I would live life alone. I curled up in a ball and clutched a picture of me and Sam together. Hadn't I said, like 30 minutes ago I was healing? Either I am having a bad dream, or I am the most pathetic women on earth.

Don't kid yourself Leah, you already know your worthless, and you already know the answer to the question.

I cackled again. Now I was hearing voices in my head. I got up again, and I went even deeper into the back of my closet. I shuffled through a million dresses of mine that I had worn when I was with Sam. I finally found the garment bag I was looking for. It was the most amazing dress I had ever seen, and it was breathtaking. I opened the bag to look at my dress. I had worn this to Sam's parents 45th wedding anniversary. It was going to be held in California, where his parents had grown up, and it was going to be fancy.

I stripped out of my clothes, and pulled out the specific bra and underwear I had worn with it, they all matched, and they were to fancy to wear with anything else. I slipped them on, and then slid the dress on over them. I rummaged through my shoes for about 10 mi nutes until I finally found the box I had been looking for. My favorite pair of shoes I had ever worn, and they were worth more than my house. Sam's mom and grandmother bought them for me, along with hair accessories, and the time and date for me to get my hair and makeup done at the salon on California, I can't remember what it was called.

I made my way back to the mirror in my closet and looked at myself. I started bawling my eyes out.

FLASHBACK BABY!!!!!!!!

I was swirling around the dance floor with Mr. Uley (Sam's dad) to I Get a Kick out of You by Frank Sinatra. I was laughing and moving my feet. I had rehearsed this with im for the past week, along with his dance with Mrs. Uley, and her dance with Sam. I am being forced into the spotlight sometime tonight. Sam and I have to dance, he picked the song and won't tell me what it is, and it's just me and Sam.

I am flying on clouds tonight, I had everything a girl could ever want, and I haven't stopped smiling tonight. I look amazing, thanks to Mrs. Uley, and all the ladies at the salon. My hair is curled and crunched up near the top of my head, and little diamond clips are pinched everywhere. My make-up looks amazing, I have on light pink lipstick, with a shining over coat of lip gloss. They put on a mild amount of foundation and blush. I have fake eyelashes on, and a black eyeliner.

The song came to a halt, and I parted with Mr. Uley and curtsied, while he bowed. I laughed, and was going to ask him if he would like o dance again.

I felt a tap on my shoulder as The Way You Look Tonight came over the speakers. I spinned around and gasped as I took in Sam.

He had on an amazing tux, with a silver tie and vest under the jacket. His hair was fluffed, and a little spiked, and his features were prominently shown. His chiseled jaw got sexier when he smiled. He was smiling my smile, and looking deep into my eyes with a gorgeous set of his own. He extended his hand and slightly bowed.

"May I have this dance?" Sam asked. He took my breath away. I was so majorly in love with him, it was a little sad how much I depended on him. Seeing him tonight made all the difference. I had never seen him like this. He was always wearing sweaters or polos.

"You may." I giggle and placed my hand in his, he led me towards the middle of the dance floor, and it took all of my might to look away from him and around us. Everyone had cleared the floor. I almost cried as I realized he had picked this song, my all time favorite song (although I had never told anybody that, not even him) to dance with me too.

"You look amazing tonight Lee." He whispered in my ear, and I pecked him on the cheek with a kiss.

"You clean up pretty well too Sam. You look pretty handsome yourself."

"Why thank you." His smile grew. "What do you think of this song. I know it's your favorite, and don't ask me how I know, I just do." His smile grew back into my favorite smile on him. One of love and adoration.

"I love you Sam, more than anything in the whole world." I gazed into his eyes, and kissed him really quick.

"I love you too Lee-Lee. More than you will ever know. You are my everything, and I want more than anything to have you forever." His eyes were a little pleading, and completely serious. I pulled into his chest and sighed. He wanted me forever, and nothing was going to change that.

I gasped and cackled and bawled all at the same time. The tears came down harder and faster, you would think I would run out of tears. I lay crumpled on my floor at the very surreal fact that I was always going to be Leah Clearwater to everyone. I was never going to be able to let go of Sam, or pain, or heartbreak, because everyone would always know, and everyone would always see me as that poor girl.

I clutched the picture of Sam and I to my chest, and the tears never ceased. I lay as the girl with the broken smile, the girl with no back to her brick wall, the girl who would always be damaged goods.

And all of a sudden the pain started building, I started hyper-ventilating, my lungs couldn't get enough air. My heart was being contracted in on itself and pulled from the center. My stomach turned, and dry heaved. My vision started to blur, and I blacked out.

So, this chapter really isn't important, but I needed it for future use. I will be uploading another chapter tonight or tomorrow, and I expect you to not wuse out and review both chapters.

I will be mad at you, and I shall call you a wuss.

So hit the green/gray button right around here, and I will tell it to not eat you tonight!!!!

P.S. In the twilight movie, did anyone else think of ice cream when Bella said "you skin is pale white and ice cold." My mind shouted ICE CREAM when she said that.