"These are the legs in circles run
This is the beating you'll never know
These are the lips that taste no freedom
This is the feel that's not so safe
This is the face you'll never change
This is the voice of silence no more"
-Some Kind of Monster, Metallica (St. Anger)
XIV - Some Kind of Monster
Murphy paced silently. His hands were folded, pressed softly to his mouth. He was standing outside the door which led to Benjamin Lockwood's room. A day had passed since Murphy had arrived at the Lockwood Estate, and he was yet to meet Benjamin.
The door cracked oprn after a few more anxious minutes of waiting, revealing the face of Iris.
"Oh, Murphy, do come in." Iris spoke quietly, fully opening the door.
Murphy nodded, a small smile spreading across his lips as he walked in. His eyes immediately laid upon the other two residents of the room. Maisie and Benjamin sat on the bed together, and they were reading a book. Neither of them paid Murphy any mind, and Benjamin softly read aloud to the young girl beside him.
It was night out, and snow was gently falling onto the windows of the room. Murphy looked around, noting the piles of books and maps alike lining the tables across the walls.
Murphy silently sauntered to the foot of the bed, digging his hands in his pockets.
"Hello, Benjamin."
Upon hearing Murphy's words, Benjamin looked up, his eyes squinted slightly. He sighed, closing the book gently and placing it on his lap, causing Maisie to frown.
"Ah," Benjamin breathed, shifting his body carefully. "I'm assuming you're the visitor I've heard so much about. I am Benjamin, as I'm sure you know."
Murphy nodded, forcing a smile. "Murphy. Nice to meet you."
Murphy extended his hand, leaning over the bed to reach the man across him. The two shook hands before returning to their prior positions.
"So," Benjamin said, observing Murphy. "What brings you?"
"Well," Murphy sighed, choosing his words carefully. "Me and Eli go way back. I worked for InGen, and me and him met through that."
Benjamin's eyes narrowed slightly. "Is that so?"
Murphy swallowed, nodding as he began to meander around. "Yes."
A stiff silence befell amongst them, negatively adding to the awkward mood. Maisie inspected Murphy closely.
She didn't like him.
Maisie was still very young, and had a lot to learn about the world she was put in. However, she could tell nice people from not nice people. Murphy was a not nice person. Who was he to interrupt her reading sessions? How rude. Maisie always looked forward to reading with Benjamin; it was one of her favorite things to do. When she wasn't in her room, idly playing with toys, she was running around with Iris, and usually bored. Reading with Benjamin was awesome to the young girl; the stories he told were so captivating to her.
Maisie loved dinosaurs. She was raised in a household that had replica dinosaurs all over the place. Sometimes, she would sneak into the exhibits, taking up close looks at the statues. She didn't really have friends. Tucked away in the thick redwoods of Northern California, there wasn't too many schools to attend to. The nearest trace of civilization was miles away, and she was home schooled.
Thus, Maisie wasn't raised around other children, and so she had to make due with what she had. What she had was toys, her guardians, and the dinosaurs. She thought of the replicas as her friends. While it may sound sad or lonely, she never thought of it that way. Maisie loved the creatures, from the way they looked, to how they acted. See, she had developed personalities for almost every statue that was on display. Each of them had their own names, stories, and unique persons. Maisie would never tell Benjamin or Iris about that, however. She didn't want to risk raising suspicion that she had gone into the exhibits multiple times. Of course, that thought wouldn't even plop into her guardian's heads; but she was a child, and assumed they would catch on.
Maisie's passion for dinosaurs is what made reading time so fun. Benjamin would tell her stories of various dinosaurs, and what it would've been like back in the Jurassic Age.
This all led her to have a distaste towards Murphy. Not only did he interrupt her reading time, but he was odd. She could tell something was off with him. His cadences were abnormal, and his stature was off-balance.
"You still haven't answered my question," Benjamin stated, his eyes rigorously inspecting Murphy.
"Oh yes," Murphy said, his hands fidgeting nervously. "It's quite simple really - I just wanted to check up with everyone."
Benjamin leaned back, his face scrunched together in thought. He seemed more relaxed, but he was considering many things.
"I take it you know Iris?"
Murphy shook his head, feigning a chuckle. "Not before I came here. She's made me feel at home though, I assure you. I feel like I've known her for years."
Maisie peered up at Benjamin, concern lacing her soft features. "Grandpa?"
Benjamin looked down, smiling slightly as he motioned for her to continue.
"I don't like him," Maisie whispered.
"Well, that's quite rude. I'm sure he's okay."
Maisie huffed, laying back down with her arms crossed across her chest. She looked away dismissively, turning to watch the snow pass by the window. Something was wrong with that man, she could tell.
She couldn't exactly place what it was, however. Maisie, an ever curious child, didn't like being in the sorrowful shadow of the undisclosed. She didn't like uncertainty, and she didn't like the unknown. She appreciated when she could find the answer to something quickly and efficiently. She didn't like not knowing how to solve a puzzle presented before her. Maisie didn't like not knowing things, and this was something that she couldn't possibly know.
However, unlike other confused children, Maisie wasn't going to ignore the problem. She was going to find out what was so off about this strange man.
α
Wu watched the monitor with narrowed eyes, a hand rubbing against his chin. He was going to conduct a test. This experiment, however, and hopefully, wouldn't be so painful to his subject. This inquiry was into the emotions of the Indoraptor; Wu wanted to see if it displayed advanced sentiments.
He had, once again, dabbled with human DNA in creating a dinosaur. To Wu, it was a necessary addition. While it wasn't enough DNA to make the Indoraptor too advanced, it was enough to make him intelligent. Unfortunately for Wu, he was unaware of how intelligent the Indoraptor was.
However, he wanted to see if the dinosaur was more than just a dinosaur.
Wu wasn't sure how this test was going to go, or if it would even work. The Indoraptor was antisocial, and, based off of yesterday's misfortunes, minacious. Wu was, essentially, placing another life into danger; not that he cared. Lives were expendable to him, and they could easily be replaced. It was always difficult to make up some reason to the families of how their child had been unfortunately killed. Wu's project, however, was handsomely funded. It was easy to write the families off with a fat check and call it a day. If one of them at decided to sue the Lockwood's, or Wu, his whole project would be ruined. Thus, he made it a top priority to palliate the plight and anger of the anxious families.
He was torn from his thoughts when his experimenter entered the edges of the monitor.
Θ
"Hello?" a soft, feminine voice entered entered his ears.
His eyes were shut, his snout pressed into his side. He had been busy trying to expell the stressful thoughts from his mind. He was unsuccessful in his endeavor, but that didn't stop him from trying.
He cracked one eye open, silently placing his snout upon his lower back. He made sure that his movements were quiet, and he tried furiously to withstand the twitching that threatened to file through him.
His head immediately cocked and his other eye opened at the sight of the human before him. It was different from the other humans of which he had seen.
Its hair was long and tidy, cascading gently down past its shoulders. The human's figure was more shaped and curvy, its facial features delicate and pleasing to observe. While he had seen female humans before, this one was different. The females he had spotted had their hair wrangled to the top of their head, and their appearance was somewhat masculine.
He stood slowly, wanting a better look at the odd human before him. However, as he did so, the muscles in his side spasmed, causing an uncomfortable creaking to echo through the cell.
The human flinched, drawing back as a frightful, yet silent, shriek bubbled from its mouth.
His eyes narrowed slightly. Had this human shown fear? He was quite confused, and he stepped forth from the darkness.
The human watched as he appeared to her, and she swallowed. She had never seen him before, only heard of him. She wasn't present in the lab at the time of the incident, but she was notified of what had happened. She wasn't all too thrilled to work up close and personal with the dinosaur, but she was just following orders. What Wu asked of her perplexed and intrigued her. The doctor's orders were simple: talk, and be nice to the dinosaur.
She hadn't a clue as to why Wu asked anyone, especially her, to do such a task. She wasn't even assigned to the Indoraptor; she worked with the storage of genetics.
Her breathing picked up, and she inspected the dinosaur before her. His features were disturbing and revealed the mistreatment of which he had gone through. His snout was narrow, with some holes lining his face; he lacked the body fat and muscle to fill the cavities. In fact, she noticed that his whole body was slim. He looked incredibly malnourished and unhealthy. She could some of his bones, namely his ribs.
His appearance was worrying, but she eventually looked up to his eyes. The crimson eyes were similarly scanning her body, but too met hers. His eyes were fierce, but she could see the underlying tension, fear, and pain behind them. His breaths were steady, his body unmoving. The strong demenor which his powerful and menacing figure portrayed was betrayed by his eyes. They seemed ominous at first sight, but upon closer inspection, more would be revealed about them. His eyes were frantic where his body was still, blinking at every twitch of his muscles or every background noise.
She found herself saddened by the neglected frame which the dinosaur now possessed. It was obvious that he had been mistreated.
Oh, but what was she thinking? This was just an experiment - an animal. Although, as their eyes stay connected, she could see something else, beyond the normal intelligence of an animal. Something familiar, something more...
She hadn't the time to dwell on it, however. Wu was likely going to scold her for taking so long as it was.
She looked away, averting her gaze to the floor as she regained her composure, clearing her throat.
He blinked, watching the human carefully. He had never shared such prolonged eye contact with anything before. It was odd, but it wasn't miserable, and so he liked it. He was confused, however, why this human didn't look at him with disgust or distaste. She instead seemed curious and sympathetic. He narrowed his eyes, skeptical of her behavior. This was just another test, wasn't it?
"So, I suppose I'll cut to the chase."
His sickle claw tapped against the floor as she spoke again. His breathing picked up, and he was even more perturbed. The tone of this human's voice was so different, so... Pleasing. It was soft, comforting in its nature. She regarded him like he had seen humans regard other humans. Why was she treating him with such respect? He, subjected to a life of being treated as a inferior species, thought himself almost unworthy of such a high appraise. He wasn't undeserving of this, of course; but the brainwashing and torture slowly and subconsciously got to his brain. He almost believed that he was subservient to the humans.
She clasped her hands in front of her waist, lifting her eyes to meet his once again. "I don't really want to be doing this. I'm sure you don't either."
He moved closer to the cell bars, the tip of his snout pressing gently against the cold metal. What in the world was happening?
"I'm supposed to ask you questions, or something like that. You're not going to understand of course but... Oh, I'm rambling."
He blinked again, mazed by the plentiful tones and cadences that this human possessed. Her voice fluctuated often, relaying the many emotions she presented to him. He had never seen such an animated human. Her tone went from annoyed to dissmssive to something else in the blink of an eye.
She sniffed softly, sweat beginning to form on her. She wasn't nervous about the dinosaur before her. More, she was anxious about what Wu would say when she was done.
In reality, however, she hadn't a need to be worried. Wu was excited with the way that she was talking to the Indoraptor. He liked that she was being casual in conversation.
It was odd, even to herself, how she was somewhat comfortable in the presence of him. Maybe it was the bars that separated them, maybe it was his malnourished body. Maybe it was the fact that she didn't have anyone to talk to in her life. Or, she considered, it was his eyes. They were curious, and she knew, somehow, that he didn't want to hurt her. She didn't know why, and she didn't quite want to find out.
"Anyways," she sighed, taking an apprehensive glance at the camera above her. "Let's start, shall we?"
His eyes were trained on her fidgeting figure, observing every move she took. The misery of the days previous was forgotten. He was filled with interest, a growing curiosity on levels in which he hadn't experienced before. He knew that he shouldn't get comfortable with this human, as all humans were bad. However, the soft intonations and inflections of her voice pulled him in. No human had ever spoke to him like this.
In the little times that humans would vocalize to him, the tones in their voice were always harsh and unliking. He had come to hate when they talked. He didn't, however, hate when this human spoke. Her voice was soothing, and it caused him to feel somewhat unmiserable, and so he liked it.
"My name is Addison," she sighed, a forced smile dancing across her lips.
His eyes traveled to her mouth, observing her facial expressions. Her look and sound fascinated him.
Addison bit her lip, refusing to peer up at him. His appearance, though captivating, was still a frightful sight. Her first encounter with a dinosaur was with him; a hybrid. Her fear stood in front of her wonder, however.
"So," Addison said, her tongue slightly protruding from her pursed lips as she took out a small notepad. It read several questions and other anecdotes to say.
Some of the questions were straight forward, and others were odd. A few were simple, like 'how old are you?' whilst others were complex to be asking a dinosaur, like 'what was your earliest memory?'.
"Um... What's your name?" Addison spoke, looking up at him.
His head was tilted, his eyes intently watching her. He got the sense that she was trying to communicate with him, but he didn't understand why. No human had ever tried to actually speak to or with him. He didn't know whether to try and talk back.
Addison sighed again, biting her lip as she looked back at the notepad. This process was somewhat humiliating and embarrassing. She rattled off two more questions before glaring up at the camera. Why was Wu making her do this? Every reaction was the same; a wide-eyed gaze to accompany his tilted head.
However, when she listed the fourth question, she got a response.
"When was the last time you... Ate?" Addison asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked towards him.
He shifted his weight, readjusting his front claws. He sniffed, and chittered carefully, his muscles twitching. His voice was hoarse and raspy, as he hadn't a drink in days.
Addison blinked, watching him curiously. His still posture had broken, and he was fidgeting slightly. His neck was slightly craned, his head ever moving as he tried to observe her reaction as best as possible. She was surprised that he actually replied to her. He saw this, and rasped again. It was a deep croon, which signified the word comfort.
He had made the word based off an assumption. He knew not what comfort or happiness was, but he imagined what it would feel like. Now, he was using it to try and soothe the human. However, it only served to confuse her further.
"Y—you can understand me?" Addison stuttered, her voice uneasy.
His head cocked again, and a questioning trill rose from his throat.
"I'd assume that's a no."
Addison looked to the camera with wide eyes, unsure of what to do. She cleared her throat again, placing another smile upon her face as she turned back to him. She asked another question, and he responded.
"That's nice," Addison cooed through a soft smile. She had the orders to be nice, and so she was.
He doubled back slightly, taken off guard. Her tone was so nice, so affirmative. He had never heard a sound so pleasant.
All his life, he was accustomed to the gentle whirrs of machines and the footsteps and miscellaneous noises that humans would make. Her voice was empyrean, seraphic to his mistreated senses.
Their conversation continued for some time. She would ask a question, and he would answer. The responses of which he gave made no sense in relation to her inquiries. However, she seemed to enjoy his replies, and so he distrubuted them.
Wu watched with a smile perched upon his lips. This was an amazing display of Indoraptor's intelligence. He was, in his egotistical glory, quite proud of himself. This experiment had to be taken with a grain of salt, of course. Animals, specifically pets, did have the tendency to reply to their owners speaking to them. However, Wu could see that Indoraptor was more sophisticated in his replies. He seemed to consider Addison's question before answering.
He, in reality, was only assessing her tone, trying to discern what she was saying. His contemplations did little to the meaning of his answers.
To Wu, Indoraptor's pauses were signs of intelligence. The way that the dinosaur moved, trying to gauge her body language confirmed Wu's sentiments.
Whenever Addison would give him a smile, softly speaking affirmations, he would seem pleased. Her reactions gave him much delight, and for the first time in his terrible life, he was happy.
It was an odd sensation, but it was extremely unmiserable, and he enjoyed it thoroughly. It bubbled up in his stomach, spreading throughout his body as his contentment increased. His eyes were wide, muscles fervently quivering. He wasn't sure as to what was happening to him.
Addison narrowed her eyes, her mouth somewhat agape as she watched him. His actions were quite confusing.
He paused, panting heavily as his blood rushed. This feeling was so amazing, so pure. He crooned and chittered, signaling his content to the human which brought it. The years of abuse and neglect led him to be excited over such a small thing as a cadence. He had never been treated kindly, or with respect. He had never been pet, nor whispered good-natured phrases as he was lulled into sleep. He was never treated normal, never treated like a conscious being.
This small glimpse of being acknowledged was extremely overwhelming. A simple tone of voice made his young mind flow with excitement.
Addison's lips curved upwards again, but this time it was genuine. She could tell he was jubilant. He was acting akin to an excited dog, prancing about, yips and barks seeping through his jagged teeth. She laughed softly, a small and high-pitched giggle escaping her mouth. He responded in kind, a playful snort bubbling from his throat.
Oh, how ever happy he was! The young child which he truly was surfaced again, the brutish dinosaur fading. He felt so good inside, so whole.
He jumped around in his cell, bouncing from place to place, delighted beyond description. His actions brought smiles to Addison's lips, and laughs from her mouth, and so he did it. He enjoyed her happiness, and it fueled his.
Addison was greatly amused by the dinosaur before her. Despite his menacing looks, she saw now that he was a soft and playful creature. She wasn't sure why he was acting so blithe, but it didn't really matter to her. His gaiety was contagious.
He eventually stopped his efforts, his limbs too exhausted, and his lungs lacking air. Even little things drained him, like this.
He stopped, returning to the front of the cell, standing just in front of the bars as he heaved. He watched Addison remove a hand from her mouth, revealing her teeth as she giggled.
An idea popped into his head, and he pulled the muscles of his upper jaw back. His top teeth pulled up, and his eyes somewhat closed as he tried to reciprocate her smile.
It wasn't very distinguishable as a grin, but Addison was able to discern it as one. She stopped laughing, and immediately looked to the camera above her.
Wu's mouth opened as he observed Indoraptor. This was incredible, simply incredible! It was showing empathy, displaying its emotions! Wu was overjoyed, ecstatic with this discovery. This would mean so much more for his research. He would have to probe deeper, try and find its true emotions. He wanted to know just how smart this dinosaur was.
He paused, confused as to why she stopped her laughing. His breathing hitched, his heart rate slowing as fear began to build within him. Had he offended her? Ensuing panic filled his mind as he observed her shocked features. Why had he done that? He scolded himself sternly, whimpering as he turned away.
Addison furrowed her eyesbrows as he began walking away, his tail draping across the floor. His head drooped, snout just above the cold floor as he returned to his corner. Deep sorrow and regret overtook his emotions, and he prepared to curl into a ball and sob. However, he was torn from his thoughts when her angelic voice filled his ears again.
"Wait, come back!" Addison said, voice just under a yell.
She wasn't sure why he had left, but she found herself not wanting him to go. She wasn't sure why, and it bothered her slightly. She shouldn't get attached to a dinosaur, especially one that she wasn't even going to see on a regular basis. However, he captivated her. His frightening body contrasted from his strong yet soft eyes. She could see pain behind those red orbs. She didn't know what her peers had done to the innocent creature; she only knew that they had experimented on him. Addison would've never thought that 'experiment' equaled torture.
Addison heard a soft tapping as his head resurfaced into view. His head was sunken, barely above the ground. He was sulking greatly, his eyes peering up at her apologetically. Silence enveloped them as they carefully inspected each other. Addison's features fell, and she could see the sadness adorning his eyes. Why was he acting this way?
He sniffed softly, his eyes moving away from her as he took a slow step forward. He murmered a downcast chitter as he refused to look at her.
A small, "Aw...," escaped Addison's lips as she observed to moping dinosaur. He was apologizing to her, and showing his regret freely. Upon hearing the noise, he looked up, meeting her eyes. She could see tears pooling at the bottom of the crimson orbs.
Addison gasped quietly, saddened and taken aback from the advanced emotions that this dinosaur was displaying. She refrained from eying up the camera up again, and she could only imagine what Wu's expression was.
He exhaled a shaking breath, carefully moving towards the bars of the cell again. Addison, without thinking, too stepped forward. She passed the red line, slowly inching forwards.
He peered up, his eyes carefully watching her as she moved closer. Sadistic thoughts seeped into his brain of hurting this human, inflicting whatever pain he could to her. He battled the ideas ferociously. He didn't want to hurt this human, he couldn't. This human was the only thing that have ever sowed happiness into his miserable heart, into his desolate soul.
The two slowly made their way to the bars which separated them. Their eyes were wide, breaths sporadic, minds uncertain in the actions they were partaking in.
Addison slowly reached out a shaking hand, anxiety filling her. She hadn't a clue as to what she was doing, only acting on impulse. She wanted to comfort him, soothe his frayed nerves. She didn't know why, but she had to.
Her body was less than a foot from the metal, her arm outstretched. His snout was pressed gently to the cold iron, and he tried to control his breathing. He tried to give a comforting croon, but nothing came out.
Addison took one last step forward, her trembling hand carefully pressing against his warm scales. They stilled, both pausing at the contact. He savoured her soft hands against his rough scales. All he had ever known were the hard and calloused hands that pressed and prodded harshly against him. This was different.
She was prepared for him to attack at any moment, and thick nervousness came upon her. After a few seconds passed, however, nothing happened. He didn't attack, and she didn't hurt him.
Addison came closer, swallowing as she slowly rubbed her hand across the top of his snout. He sighed, closing his eyes in content as he turned his head down, pressing softly into her hand.
Her hands were cold, a soothing contrast to the warmness of the basement. A low rumble emitted from his belly as Addison came mere inches from the cell. Her hand continued to gently pet atop his head, and her disquiet somewhat resided.
Addison saw not a homicidal beast, like her coworkers made him out to be, but a benign and misunderstood animal. She had seen his behavior, his emotions. The actions he did led her to believe that he was more than just a synthetically created dinosaur. What other being besides man apologized? Addison didn't know what Wu had brewed up in that lab of his, but she wasn't sure that she liked it. The doctor was able to create sentient life; he was literally playing God. She wasn't all too comfortable with it, but she had a feeling that she was going to be seeing this dinosaur a lot more. Since this experiment went so well, Addison assumed that Wu would try and reciprocate it again. She wasn't really complaining, however. Work in the lab was quite boring. All she ever did was sort various viles and oversee the delivery and exportation of DNA. There was never any change, there was never any excitement. Addison's life in general was quite boring. She woke up every morning to drive an hour to the Lockwood Estate. Her days off of work were spent alone, in a small town just outside the redwoods of California.
He reminded her of her youth, the playful dogs that she used to have. However, she knew that he was far more intelligent and sentient. Something about him pulled her in, and wouldn't let go. Those eyes gave his true feelings away; she could see the hurt, she could see the fear. She didn't know why he was pained, but she wanted to know. She was bound with curiosity, and she was definitely going to question Wu.
As she moved to bring her hand to the side of his snout, a deep whirr came from behind them. He stopped breathing, recognizing the sound. He looked up, eyes glaring past Addison. Her brow furrowed in confusion, and she followed his terrified faze. Their eyes met upon a light bulb, pointed towards the cell. His body clenched in fear.
The humans made another terrible light.
Suddenly, it illuminated it, blinding both of them. Addison grimaced, a hand covering her eyes as she looked away.
He let out a stiff shriek, immediately qualing, blenching away. Addison turned to watch him speed into the corner of the cell, quickly wrapping up into a ball. The light turned off, and Addison breathed heavily, trying to see him through the darkness.
"Thank you, Ms. Cole, that'll be all for today," the mechanical voice of Wu cracked through the intercom.
Addison heaved, listening to the soft cries coming from inside the cell. She swallowed, backing away slowly. What had just happened? Why had he reacted that way? She suddenly got an idea of what their 'experiments' were. While she didn't want to make any assumptions, it was deducable to Addison that they were hurting him. She remembered what he looked like; there was numerous scars that coated his sable skin. She had thought nothing of it before, as it she would expect cicatrices on a dinosaur. However, now that she pondered it, how would this dinosaur, confined in his cell, get those wounds? It wasn't like there were other dinosaurs around. Addison took one last look at the dinosaur before stomping off.
She was going to have a word with Wu.
He felt so betrayed, so delated. Why would that human do such a thing to him? Why did she act like a friend, only to be allies with the terrible light? His heart hurt, his soul burned. He felt so awful inside, so empty. The brief happiness which he had experienced for the first time in his life was gone.
Oh, why had he thought she was good? He thought that maybe, just maybe, this human wasn't bad. He thought that maybe, just maybe, this human could sympathize with him, help him, understand him. No, she couldn't help him, nobody could. There was him, and the humans. The good and the bad. He shouldn't have trusted her. It was all a test, all a puzzle, all just a game to the humans. He berated himself for how stupid he had been. She could never know his pain, she could never see what they had done to him. She could never see the endless cycle that he was trapped in, or the never ending depression and sobs that wracked his body.
The child was fading, the brute was growing.
He wept openly, not caring if the light turned back on. He was so angry, so despondent. He knew he shouldn't have trusted the human. All humans were bad, all humans were out to hurt him. He could never be pain free, he could never just be okay. He could never sit back and breathe, he could never be.
Why could the humans be happy, and he couldn't? What made them so superior? Why was he here? Why was he alive?
His brain was overloading, his blood rushing exponentially in impotent indignation. He didn't want to be, he didn't want to feel. He didn't want to exist, he didn't want to be hurt anymore. He wanted it all to go away, he wished it would all go away. He didn't care what death was, or what pain accompanied it. Anything was better than this, nothing was worse. He was tired of living, he was tired of being maltreated and abused every second of his life. He was debilitated, he was filled with anger. He was tired, he was so tired of the pain, of the hate, of the rage, of the sadness.
He stood tall, letting out a weak roar of rage. He had not the power to let loose an ear-shattering howl, and his cry was small. It embarrassed him, it made him feel feeble.
Tears flooded from his eyes, sobs echoing through the basement. They were choked and stiff rasps that made his head jerk with every cry. He charged to the front of the cell, slamming his head into the cold metal. His head was jostled, a brief numbness spreading through his brain. It hurt quite badly, and it only caused him to weep more. He tried to roar again, but a sharp whistle was all that came.
He reared back, disregarding the pain in which the action brought. It wasn't like he wasn't used to discomfort. In fact, he wanted the agony. He wanted to hurt, he wanted to push his body past its limit. He wanted death, he wanted to escape. He couldn't take living like this anymore, he couldn't take repeating this endless cycle over and over again.
He slammed his head into the metal repeatedly. His sobs were plentiful, his tears were bountiful, and his woe was awful and exceptionally painful.
He backed up again, choking on his own tears as he prepared to charge again. His vision was fading, his thought process clouding. He didn't care, however. He invisioned this pain being the storm before the calm; the hardship before the caring arms of death. He charged again, a sob flowing out of his mouth as he rushed forward.
His head connected with the bars again, and everything went black.
φ
Blue was very pleased when she woke up. Her head was rested upon Her Mate's chest, his healthy arm draped over her side. She savored every rise and fall of his thorax, she savored his scent.
She was still extremely grateful that they were both alive and somewhat okay. Everything was still trying to process in her brain; the last two weeks had been so filled with chaos. She had lost two sisters, almost died many times, and found Her Mate.
Life before Her Mate arrived was so simple, so easy. It seemed that once he came, everything went crazy. Blue would spend her time basking in the sun with Echo and Delta, blissfully ignorant of the troubled times ahead. Prey was everywhere, and they were never starved for food. They had no worries, no fears. Their Alpha barely ever bothered them, and she usually kept to herself. The three sisters were able to do whatever they wanted, so long as Their Alpha warranted it. In a way, she wished she could go back to those times.
She realized that Her Mate had awoken, and lifted her head slightly to look up at him. She was met with a toothy grin and a light chuckle.
"Good morning, Blue," Kris said, softly scratching the underside of her chin.
Blue crooned, her neck craning as she closed her eyes.
"C'mon, we gotta eat."
Kris carefully pushed Blue off him, sitting up. Blue barked, giving him an icy glare.
"Whatever, girl. Look, we'll lay down later, alright? Maybe we'll have some fun while we're at it," Kris joked with a wink as he stood from the bed.
Blue huffed, sprawling lazily on the bed as she watched Her Mate move around the kitchen. She didn't like being away from him; it made her nervous. Even if they were feet from each other, she was uncomfortable with the distance. As long as they weren't touching, Blue thought they weren't safe. She didn't want to be separated from Her Mate again, she didn't want to risk losing him anymore; he was all that she had.
Kris wasn't all to concerned about anything. He was happy, and he wasn't going to think about anything else. Blue was the source of his delight, and he spent all of his time with her. He hadn't let her out of his eyesight in days, and he wanted to keep it that way.
Life was great, but they were both on edge. Still being on Isla Nublar with Indominus and other dinosaurs running around put them on edge. Kris knew that, eventually, they were going to have to leave. Indominus would find them, and they would have to run to wherever they could.
An idea popped into Kris' mind. He remembered when he first got on Isla Nublar, and his brief encounter with Lowery. He had spoke about some kind of 'control room'. Maybe if they found this control room, they could find call someone to get out. Doing so, however, would likely mean going through Main Street, which was something Kris didn't want to do. He imagined that the soldiers there would simply shoot them onside. The whole situation still upset him, but Kris chose to move on instead of dwelling on it.
Kris was focused one what he had, and how good he felt. He was okay, for the most part. He was thankful to have his life, and Blue. He was here, somewhat healthy, and happy. As long as he had Blue, he was going to be okay.
He sat back down on the bed, beginning to eat the cereal that he made for himself. Blue placed her head in his lap while he ate, a content croon escaping her.
Kris finished his meal, setting the bowl down as he pet the raptor. He sighed, and looked down at her.
"I'm assuming that you're going to be getting hungry as well?"
At the Innovation Center, they had been fed handsomely. Kris hadn't thought of taking food while they left, which he kicked himself for. However, he did remember the times he had gone in the trucks. He had noticed a small refrigerator in the corner of the open space of the back, and never thought of it twice. Kris grew curious of the memory, and tapped Blue to get up.
"C'mon, let's see if we can get you some food, girl."
Blue wouldn't get up, instead closing her eyes and pushing her head against his stomach. Kris swiftly pulled himself out from her, causing her head to fall on the mattress. He quickly stood, and heard a growl from behind him. He turned only to see Blue, with one eye opened, peering up at him as she whimpered softly.
"Heartbreaking," Kris laughed. "Let's go!"
Blue snarled as she stood. The only complaint she had about Her Mate was his constant moving. The times where he would just lay with her were the best. However, he often chose to get up, thus breaking their contact.
Kris set down his cereal before opening the door, sticking his tongue out at the growling raptor as he exited the trailer. Blue followed reluctantly, a deep rumble constantly emitting from her.
He made his way to the truck, sighing as he opened the back of the vehicle. He hoped deeply that there was food in the refrigerator. Not because he wanted it, but because he wanted Blue to eat. He didn't like hunting dinosaurs, as it was dangerous.
However, he feared more how grumpy Blue got when she was hungry.
Kris grimaced as he climbed into the truck. His leg screamed in discomfort, and he had to shift his weight several times to get into the back. Blue let out a concerned croon as she watched him seethe in pain. Biting his lip to ease the pain, he finally climbed in.
Catching his breath, he looked around. Upon seeing the small refrigerator, he slowly walked towards it, wincing at the pain as he opened the door. Inside was warm, as the refrigerator wasn't plugged in to anything. However, several slabs of meat lined the counters within. Kris smiled, stacking the saran-wrapped food on his good arm.
Carefully dropping from the back of the truck, he turned to Blue, who eyed the meat hungrily. Kris laughed, gesturing his head to the trailer. "Let's go, girl."
They returned to the trailer, and Blue immediately tried to wrestle the food from Kris' grasp.
"Excuse you!" he said, mocking shock as he turned away from the raptor. "I thought you were nicer than that, Blue."
Blue growled as her eyes narrowed at his back. He was messing with her, and she didn't like it. She knew it was all fun and games, but it slightly aggravated her. Kris smiled to himself as he heard Blue angrily warble. He turned around, facing her with an eyebrow raised.
"Are you going to let me unwrap it for you or—?"
Kris was interrupted when Blue suddenly pounced on him, sending him backwards onto the bed. He bit his tongue, looking away, attempting to mask the pain that shot through his damaged limbs. He opened his eyes and peered up at Blue, who was baring her teeth and growling close to his face.
Kris yawned, unflinching at the loud bark that she sent his way. He crossed his arms, regarding Blue with an uninterested look.
"C'mon Blue, that's all you got? If you think I'm scared of you, you're crazy," Kris laughed, pushing the raptor off him.
Blue let Her Mate stand, watching as he began to prepare her meal. She paused, letting her irritation subside. Her sudden outburst was uncontrollable, and she had been enraged. She wasn't sure why she had gotten so annoyed so quickly, and it perturbed her. She scrutinized Her Mate's movements, and noticed him treating his left limbs gingerly. Had she hurt him again? She watched him turn his head, grabbing a knife from the counter. She inspected the gash that ran down his cheek, and remembered all the times that she had pinned him to the ground, on the verge of tearing into his flesh.
The thought of her hurting the only thing that she had, the thing that she loved the most, shook her deeply. Blue breathed heavily, and felt the need to apologize for her unwarranted actions. She sulked behind Kris, digging her snout into the small of his back and crooning an expression of regret.
Kris blinked, turning to Blue. He met her downcast gaze, and frowned.
"It's alright, girl," Kris chuckled, though the action caused him to cough a few times. "I know you were just joking."
However, Blue hadn't been playing around. An unruly anger had boiled within her from his teasing, for a reason which she did not know.
The stress of the two weeks had slowly seeped into Blue; embedding itself into the confines of her brain. She hadn't realized it before, but she had been quite irratible recently. Changes happened so suddenly, which was something she wasn't used to, and it dissaranged her subconciousness.
"Hey," Kris spoke, faced scrunched with concern as another sympathetic croon came from Blue. He kneeled down to the pining raptor, holding both of his hands up to her head. "Blue, what's wrong?"
Blue chittered dismissively, not meeting his scrutinizing stare. Kris waitied for their gazes to conjoin before speaking again.
"Listen, Blue, I'm okay."
Blue observed Her Mate's features and quickly recognized the disquietude that he held. She felt selfish for making him worry, and her odd behavior put her in worse of a mood. She softly trilled an apology, embarrassed from her actions.
Kris paused before gently pulling her into a kiss. The display of affection caused Blue to forget about her concerns, and she lost herself in the embrace.
He pulled away, looking at her with a soft smile. "Happy now?"
Blue responded with a quiet, but happy chirp, and Kris resumed his activities. The way she was acting stressed him out, but he was focused on feeding her right now. He chalked Blue's comportments up to her simply being hungry. Kris figured that if she kept acting up once she was fed, then he would need to seriously worry.
Kris sighed, taking the two slices of meat and setting it on the counter before Blue. The raptor devoured the meal in seconds, finishing with a satisfied rumble. She turned, nuzzling Kris' shoulder as he fixed the bed. The sheets were cluttered, and Kris made sure to make the bed before they laid back down. He smiled upon hearing Blue's contentment.
The two steadily lie down, careful not to disturb their wounds. Blue lay on her belly, claws tucked to her chest as she waited for Her Mate to make himself comfortable. She was satiated, as the meat had filled her up. Two weeks ago, the meal wouldn't have been sufficient. However, her stomach had become used to going extended periods without much food, and Blue could get by on less.
Kris fully set himself down, taking a moment to breathe from the pain that shot through him. Although he had taken the supplements which Lee had given him, his wounds still ached heavily. Now that he wasn't constantly worrying about everything except his injuries, the torment in which his traumata gave him increased greatly.
Blue trilled quietly to him, making sure that Her Mate was alright. He closed his eyes, taking another deep breath before turning to look at Blue.
"I'm fine," Kris said through a forced smile.
Blue cautiously moved to Kris, heedful not to irritate his injuries. Kris wrapped one of his arms around the raptor, soaking in her appearance for a moment before pulling her into a kiss.
Blue loved when he did things like that. Well, she loved everything that he did; from his cadence to his looks — all of it was pleasing to her. It felt nice to know that he felt the same way about her. Whenever humans observed her body, Blue would always feel uncomfortable and try to escape their gaze. When Her Mate did this, however, it felt good, albeit a little embarrassing. She didn't know why, but whenever he gazed lovingly upon her features, her whole body grew warm. It was another foreign feeling that came with intimacy, of which she had never experienced before. It made her somewhat uneasy, but it was also reassuring to see that Her Mate thought she was attractive. Seeing how he looked upon her made her heart flutter.
As long as they were in each other's presence, they were unhurt; at least, for the most part. When they gazed into each other's eyes, or basked in each other's appearances, they felt better. In those moments, they were able to forget the physical and mental pain that wracked their bodies and souls. Thus, they did it often.
For most of the day, they would simply lay next to each other, embracing in some way. Kris would sometimes find a book to read, or entertain some other activity; but they were always connected. When Kris would stand to get food, Blue would rise next to him. When Blue found the urge to relieve herself, Kris would help her outside and wait until she finished. They were always by each others sides; neither wanted to be without their lover.
In the past, when they had been separated, terrible things often followed. Ergo, neither of them would let the other out of their eyesight.
Despite the pleasure of simply being alive, of simply having each other, there was still underlying tension in the air. They both knew of the scars that littered their tattered bodies, of the trauma that haunted their dreams. Each second that past brought with it the realization of the demons they held, and the skeletons that they were so desperately trying to hide. They didn't have a problem with their significant other; they had a problem with themselves.
The events of the previous nights and days constantly flicked into their vision, replaying in their memories. While they both acted as if nothing was wrong, it was just a façade. Of course, they were happy, but only to an extent. They were constantly alert, constantly reminded of the horrible things that had happened to them. They needed each other.
If Kris didn't have Blue, or if Blue didn't have Her Mate, they would assuredly be dead or have gone mad by now. They both knew this, but they didn't want to entertain those disparaging thoughts.
Instead, they focused on being in the moment; happy and unhurt.
ξ
Addison took a deep breath before marching into the control room. Dr. Wu sat on a chair, observing the several monitors before him. He heard the door open behind him, and he turned, a smile upturning his lips.
"What the hell was that?" Addison yelled, trying to refrain from cursing in front of her boss.
Wu paused, surprised at the sudden outburst. He stood slowly, considering his next words carefully.
"Well, I'm not sure what you mean, Ms. Cole. What I saw was a success of an experiment."
Addison bit her lip, bewildered at his arrogance.
"No, you hurt him! Why'd you do that?"
Wu sighed, turning away from Addison. He walked back to the monitors, leaning over the desk slowly.
"I had to do what was necessary. The experiment was over, and I had nothing more to see."
Addison stuttered, trying to find words. She was incredibly mad, and stupefied from Wu's ability to hurt the Indoraptor with such ease.
"But you hurt him! Why would you-"
Wu faced Addison, his features scrunched together. An accusing smirk played on his mouth.
"Wait, wait. Excuse me, Addison but he is an experiment. And you are just a variable in said experiment. Am I seeing that you are growing soft for this creature, because, I will remove you from these tests and—"
"No you won't," Addison said, defiantly standing tall. "You need me. I've imprinted on him now."
Wu opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off when the door opened. They both turned to see Mills walk in.
"Ms. Cole," Mills gestured a greeting before strutting past her.
Addison swallowed, nodding back. She had only talked with Mills once, and she found it odd how he acted as if they knew each other well. Mills liked to make his workers feel comfortable, and he made sure to remember all of their names and personalities. A more comfortable work environment led to better results, after all.
Wu grinned, seizing the oppurtunity. "Ah, Mr. Mills. Me and Ms. Cole here were just having a friendly discussion about ethics."
Mills stopped walking, considering both of them carefully before speaking. "Is that so?"
Wu never broke his gaze from Addison, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Yes... You see, Ms. Cole here thinks that we should stop 'hurting' our experiment. As a test today, she was introduced to the Indoraptor. They kicked it off."
Addison didn't back down; she was in too deep now. "He's alive, okay? I mean, he can feel pain, so why are we hurting him?"
Mills took a step towards the woman, looking at her incredulously. "Wait, I'm sorry, Ms. Cole, but he is an dinosaur."
Addison returned the gesture, getting in the man's face. He was much taller than her, but he was somewhat intimidated by her aggressiveness.
"That doesn't negate that he's a living being, sir," she spat, never breaking eye contact with Mills. "Just because he's a dinosaur doesn't mean he can't feel!"
Mills shook his head, turning away. "Jesus Christ, look at you! You've seen the thing one time and you think you know it personally!"
Addison followed him as he walked away, trying to make herself seem bigger than she really was.
"He's alive!" she yelled again, not wanting to let up.
Mills stopped walking, whirling around to face her again. "It's a monster!"
Wu interjected, laughing anxiously. He didn't want this argument to progress any further; despite that he wouldn't admit it, Addison was right: Wu needed her.
"Okay, let's calm down here," Wu spoke, placing himself between the two. "I see both of your points. However, both of you need to remember something. Mr. Mills, she is important to our work."
Mills opened his mouth to retort, but Wu silenced him by speaking to Addison. "Ms. Cole, I see what you are saying, and I will consider your... suggestion. But, this incident, and your emotions, will not interfere with our experiments."
Addison nodded, backing away from the two men. She figured that she got her argument across. If she found out that they were hurting the Indoraptor again, she would be livid.
That dinosaur was very much alive. He was very much conscious, he had emotions, and he had a personality. Addison could see it in his eyes, in his cadence, in how he held himself. It almost made her uncomfortable how similar he was to her. When she looked at him, she didn't see a monster. She saw an intelligent creature, misunderstood because of its terrifying appearance. She saw a being who didn't belong, a scared and hurt animal who needed companionship.
"Thank you. Goodbye," Addison said, swiftly turning on her heel and stomping out of the room.
Her lips turned upwards as she exited. She felt so rebellious, but she also felt like a lunatic. Addison had the presumption that she was seconds away from losing her job.
She wasn't worried about that, however. She had other things to do.
ε
He woke up trembling.
His head was numb.
His eyes still stung from the tears that were left beneath his eyelids. His throat was dry, and his energy depleted. His heart felt empty, and his soul was still afire, smoldering as time passed.
He stood carefully, and the events before he passed out entered his mind. He immediately grew angered, and he was immediately in dissarray.
What had he done to deserve this? All he wanted was happiness, all he wanted was to be pain-free. Why couldn't the humans just leave alone?
He was so distraught, so led astray. His whole life, he had been hurt. His whole life, he had faced pain over and over again. However, he had never been tortured like this before. Physical wounds were but a scratch compared to the deep emotional scarring of which he now felt. He would rather be shocked endlessly, or shot repeatedly then deal with the emptiness he felt.
With sleep he could momentarily escape physical pain; however, there was no eluding the torment that lit his heart aflame. It haunted his dreams, constantly reminding him that he was hurt.
He didn't belong here, he didn't belong anywhere. And he didn't want to be here, and he didn't want to be anywhere. He wanted to sleep forever, he wanted so desperately to rid this pain from his life. He didn't want to be himself, he didn't want to be in his own scales.
Sobs came from him again, endless barks that uncontrollably cawed from his throat. Oh, how he wanted death. No, he needed death. He needed to escape, he couldn't take it anymore.
He howled, not caring if the humans heard his agony anymore. He didn't care if they turned on the light, he didn't care if they watched him. He cried and cried until he could cry no further, until no more tears flowed from his eyes. He screamed and roared, biting at the cell bars and lashing against the walls. He clawed his snout until he bled, he shrieked until he could vocalize no longer.
He was defeated.
He eventually lay himself down, resting uncomfortably on his side. Choked sobs still seeped out of his maw, and he sniffed rapidly. His muscles twitched fervently, and he hadn't the care to stop them.
His anger was all but extinguished, and in its place rested a thick melancholia. He was the sad and lonely child again, and his heartache consumed his being. He stared blankly at the wall, sniffling repeatedly as he tried to contain his weeps. He didn't want to cry anymore, nor did he want to feel the overwhelming misery.
Unfortunately, he failed. Every time he would try and bring his mind to think about something else, his thoughts would always return to the traumatizing events of the day.
Nothing pleasant had ever happened to him, and thus he had nothing pleasant to think about. If he thought about the brief joy which he felt earlier, his thoughts would always meander to what followed.
And so there he lay, crying in his own self misery, though no tears came out. His voice was gone from the constant sobbing, and only faint rasps echoed through the basement. His sniffles picked up his rapid breaths, causing his sides to lurch unexpectedly. Twitches ran from the base of his tail to his neck, causing awkward clicks to reverberate throughout the cell.
He wished ever so hopelessly that he had someone to talk to. He wished that whatever maker existed would have gifted him a sibling. Being raised without other children, or dinosaurs, was what hurt him the most. He had nothing to talk to, he had nothing to make due with. He had no statues of dinosaurs to make personalities or stories out of, he had no toys to play with.
The humans never made an effort to entertain him in any way. He had himself, and he had his cell. He had no positive relationship with a single organism in his world, only a deep distaste for everything that breathed. This hatred was well deserved, however: everything that breathed seemed to hurt him. Humans breathed, and they hurt him. The lightning machine and the terrible light breathed their own mechanical whirrs, and they hurt him. Everything was out to get him, nothing wanted to save him.
The loneliness of isolation hurt him more than the physical and mental wounds that scarred his body and being. Knowing that nothing liked him, that nothing cared was worse than being shot or electrocuted. He had gotten a taste of confining within someone, and he knew now that if he had something to reside in, he could forget about his pain. In those few moments that he and Addison shared, he forgot about all the trauma, all the torture. If he had anything, human or dinosaur, to conversate or do anything with, he would cherish them deeply.
He hated being alone, he hated it so much. He wanted to speak to someone, tell them about what he had endured. However, he knew that this would never be. He, misguided by the endless torment, felt like he was deserving of this. He knew that humans regarded him with disgust, he knew that he and the humans were different. He had jagged teeth where they had lips, he had razor sharp claws where they had fingers. He had never seen his own face, he knew not what he looked like. Based on the way that the humans observed him, however, he figured that he was an ugly creature. He knew the difference of beauty and unattractiveness; he saw it in the humans. He could tell which humans were pleasing to observe, and which weren't. He assumed that he was misshapen and hideous.
These thoughts only furthered his pain, only tore the hole in his heart wider. What if he did deserve all this? Maybe the humans knew something that he didn't. Maybe he was wrong all along, and the humans were right in their endeavors. Maybe they knew of the brutish side that he had, and what havoc it could sow.
Of course, he was misguided in these assumptions. However, how was he to know? He hadn't done anything to merit the humans behavior against him. He was essentially a living, breathing, and sentient test dummy.
He was made to be social, he wasn't made to be a ruthless killing machine. He wasn't made to have a cold heart, nor was he made to be devoid of emotion and ethics. But, the humans had raised him that way.
He was, however, also made to obey orders, and not to question them. He was made to be a puppet, made to be a slave. He was, of course, only a prototype, the first of many experiments to follow. And thus, he was not fully mindless to the humans' commands. However, that small gene pool still remained. Those genes made him question everything he knew, made him ask himself if he was really in the right.
He was wrong, so wrong. His mind wanted to develop some reasoning to explain why he was so mistreated. There was no other explanation that made sense to his young brain.
A sudden fatigue enveloped him, and he willingly succumbed into sleep. Harrowing and sorrowful dreams would haunt his slumber, and he would wake often. He would come to hate sleeping, as it too issued pain. He came to realize that he wasn't safe from the torture. It followed him with every pace of his cell, with every blink. It traced every footstep, it mimicked every twitch. He was the pain, and the pain was he. The hate shaped him, the fear defined him. He was what the humans made him. He was alone, he was scared, he was hurt. He had nobody, he had no happiness. He had himself, and he had his cell. He had his tears, he had his sobs, and he had his grief. He had the humans, he had the pain, and all of this was wrapped into his miserable world.
He slowly realized that he would never escape it.
Hello, all. Sorry for the week wait, but I'm increasingly having less and less time to write. That being said, I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter, and I apologize if it was a little too sad.~Σιhγμα