AN: Hey, just thought that I'd take the time to say thanks to everyone reviewing and adding my story to their favorites and alerts. means a lot.

And FullMentalPanic, I was very pleased to see someone noticing and approving of the depth and irony I put into Warren's character. and the termite suggestion, I have to admit gave me a smile. I was a little tempted have someone suggest it, but the planning was already over.

The Doubtful Part 3

I think I broke my all time track record on the way home. The second Hal drove away with Ben from school, I grabbed my bike and powered down on the pedals all the way to my front yard and tossed it carelessly down on the grass as I pulled my house keys out of my pocket. Though, I did kick myself for that one later. NO ONE, not even I am allowed to treat my bike that.

Mom wouldn't be home until after five and Lexi had a play date so I had the house to myself. Good thing too, otherwise I'd need to make some excuse as to what my big hurry was and Mom would have tried to get me to babysit. I'd just have to leave her a note saying that I might be home a little late. Like I haven't done that before.

Reaching my room, I booted up my computer and tapped impatiently on the desk until I could open the internet browser.

"Finally!" I exclaimed as it finally set up. I really needed a faster modem. Bringing up Google, I typed in two words and hit search. Within seconds I had what I needed. A list of poisonous animals.

Marco and Cassie both said that I'd probably need his help because the right morphs would be small. It only reinforced my idea since most land based poisonous creatures were on the small side, too much so for me to use. And Marco already had a cobra. It was no doubt what he was planning on me deciding on, how I was supposed to have him kill the tree creature. However, I didn't want him to do it. If he wanted me to prove myself then I wanted to go up and beyond their expectations. I wanted to do this myself.

I just had to find a large enough animal first. I mean there had to be at least one big enough to suit my handicap right?

"Oh, come on." I muttered, biting my lip irritably as I kept going down the list. Fortunately it had pictures, but all I'd seen so far were snakes, a few frogs, an octopus and the Cain toad. Oh, and a few spiders, not that their weak fangs would break this thing's skin. "Surely there is one, lousy animal that walks on land, plays with poison and has a decent body size. Maybe I should just go to Cassie, she'd know." I sighed, throwing my head back exasperatedly. However, I didn't so much as leave my seat. I just returned my attention to the screen. I knew that Cassie could answer my question in a heartbeat, but the stubborn side of me, that couldn't stop rearing its head lately, was determined to do this without a single Animorph. I just had find...

"Bingo!" I cheered excitedly, pumping a fist into the air. I finally found the perfect choice. Its poison wasn't nearly as strong as a snakes or that scorpion I'd acquired, but it was more than enough, especially with the creature's speed of light body functions. Grinning triumphantly, I skimmed over all the information I could find about its body, including its strengths and weaknesses, before shutting the computer down and racing back out of the house. Poisonous, amazing sense of smell and able to blend into a bush or forest, it was the perfect choice. I was going to need a little help for my plan to work, but I was sure Erek would be happy to come along and I already knew that the Gardens had exactly what I needed.

...

"Are you sure about this?" Erek asked hesitantly as he side stepped a couple talking rapidly in French. As usual, the Gardens was packed. Under normal circumstances, it would have made getting close to a wild animal unseen, particularly the one I was after, downright impossible. That was why I'd grabbed Erek and dragged him here first. "You know that Marco or Cassie or any other Animorph could do this for you."

"Yeah, but if I'm going to prove myself, than I'm going above and beyond." I responded, not even looking at him. my eyes were darting left to right as I walked, scanning the signs. "Besides, I told you that I needed more morphs. This is a good excuse to get one." I added in a whisper before a jolt of excitement ran through me. Erek was forced to speed up just to keep up with me as I practically ran through the crowd. I'd found out exactly where I wanted to go.

"Yeah, but this is dangerous." Erek persisted as he grabbed my arm, slowing me down and expanding his hologram over me so we could talk privately while we walked. "This beast will pick up your scent the second you're in its habitat and won't give up until it's got you. My hologram can't hide smell and it can pick up and follow scents from miles away."

"Hey, it's the perfect animal for the job, just watch." I grinned as I turned left. Then my grin turned into a full grown smile, for right in front of me was my what I seeked.

Standing still in a dirt dominated habitat with one huge tree in the middle, holding itself lower to the ground and a full three metres long was the largest lizard in the world. The komodo dragon.

I couldn't help just standing there for a moment, admiring its form. It was one of the most dangerous reptiles since the dinosaurs and deserved appreciation. Its scales were a dirty grey and brown, many of which were reinforced by bone and painful should you rub them. its tail was as long as the rest of its body and almost as thick, making it very useful both for balance and as a weapon and its claws long and powerful. It had very weak hearing, but its sight and taste more than made up for it. Like snakes and other lizards, its tong was extremely proficient at finding scents and it could follow them for days. But what really made it perfect for what I had in mind was in its mouth.

For a while, scientists had argued about the possibility that it was the bacteria that thrived in its mouth that infected its prey. However, it was recently proven that the dragon has a pair of poison glands hidden in its jaw, making its thick, one inch needle teeth very dangerous weapons. With all that plus being able to move at almost twelve and a half miles per hour, it was more than a match for the unsuspecting tree creature.

"So are you going to help me with this or not?" I asked, smirking. I didn't need to look at him to get my answer.

"Well, I'm not about to let you die or get caught! Can you imagine how much grief Jake would give me if I did?" He responded jokingly, though he still looked a little unsure. A fact that was starting to irritate me.

"Erek, do think I can't deal with this?" I snapped, surprising myself when I heard a slightly hurt tone in my voice. I didn't realise how bad I felt about his seemingly lack of faith in me until that moment. Not exactly a pleasant feeling.

"That's not it." Erek responded hastily, his ivory form jerking in surprise. I have to admit that I got a little humour out of that. Marco would have made a good joke out of it. Erek had been displaying physical reactions for so long that they came instinctively now. "It's just...I almost got you killed last time because I didn't give you enough information. If you take Marco or one of the others with you, than at least you'll have more useful backup if it happens again."

Ok, hurt feeling gone. Now all I could do was give Erek and appreciative smile. He didn't doubt me, he just cared and wanted to be ready for the unforseen.

It wasn't like his way of thinking was wrong either. Normally, I'd agree. But I had to do this. I had to prove myself to everyone. It wasn't my talent for teamwork that was in question, it was whether I could contribute as an individual, so I'd do it as an individual.

"Sorry for getting snappy Erek. But I really need to do this without them. Please, just help me."

"Alright." He sighed in defeat, giving me a nod. "But I am staying with you until that thing is dead. You're not doing this completely on your own."

"That's how I intended it." I nodded with a smile. Then I nodded my head towards the low habitat. "Now what do you say we get this part started?"

Nodding, he stepped right up to me and before I could do any more than squawk, he lifted me up bridal style and jumped right down into the habitat.

"How about a little warning before you manhandle me next time?" I exclaimed, quickly slipping back to irritated.

"Noted, now how about you get to work? Scales has already noticed you." Erek replied casually. Frowning, I turned my head to the reptile in question and sucked in a deep breath as I noticed two things. One, that Erek had extended his hologram around the entire habitat, judging from the fuzziness that marked the position of the projection was only above us and from one wall to the other, as opposed to being a dome within a foot of me before we jumped in. Two, the komodo was already running right at me.

"Great. It thinks I'm delicious." I gulped, suddenly very nervous. This was my first time coming into contact with a powerful predator that wasn't injured like the wolf or sedated like the hyena. Visser Three and his minions don't count, I was already morphed when fought them. I had a right to be terrified. Especially since Erek chose that moment to put me down.

"YAAHH!" Diving into an army roll, I felt the resulting wind of its far too close jaw. "ARGH!" However, a stinging pain sot up from my leg as one of its claws succeeded where its fangs failed, leaving a shallow gash across the muscle. Hissing, I pulled myself up onto my three good limbs and looked back only to get ready to scream again as it whipped around faster than I thought was possible for such a long creature and rushed at me, its sharp fangs out for display.

Fortunately, Erek chose that moment to get involved and before I knew it, the Chee had tackled and rolled across the ground with it, ending it with the super lizard lying unharmed on its back, but unable to move thanks to one ivory hand on its belly and the other on the base of its tail.

"Weren't quite ready for it, were you?" Erek said jokingly, though his head visibly dropped as he stared at my wound.

"Hey, reading about it is one thing. Experiencing it is another." I replied, grinning when I wasn't wincing as I limped over. "There was no info on its reaction time."

"Fair enough." Erek shrugged as best he could as the dragon continued thriving underneath his paw like hands. "Now what do you say we get this over with?"

I had no problem with that. The sooner I acquired it, the sooner we could leave and I could morph this pain into nonexistence. Coming up beside the komodo, I limped right passed Erek and sat down on his other side, right in front of the tail. Normally, its thickness and hard, rough scales would make it at least as dangerous as its long, powerful claws, but Erek's hand kept it almost completely immobile, making it the safest place to touch. Wobbling a little as my injured leg protested the alteration of my weight, I leaned down, placed my palm right beside Erek's and concentrated.

The komodo's movement ended instantaneously, relaxing almost as if it was asleep as a warm, tingling sensation ran through my hand. I still gained a great deal of fascination at the sight. It was amazing that my simple touch could bring even the mightiest of animals to their most defenceless states. I wasn't about to tell anyone, but it empowered me as much mentally as physically. The others didn't seem to get it, or they purposely ignored it I don't know, but to have that kind of power over anything living made me feel like I could do anything. That this gift, as small as weak as the others tended to think of it, was more power than any of us would ever need. The greatest power we could ever hope for.

"It's done." I said calmly, though I kept my hand on the lizard. As long as I kept touching it, the trance wouldn't end. Erek however, took his hands right off it as he nodded and stood up, turning to me. Taking it slowly so as to not break my contact with the komodo dragon, he adjusted his hands around me and picked me up, running as soon as my hand left the scales. By the time the komodo dragon came out of it, Erek had already jumped casually over the fence and back up within the oblivious crowd as they gasp at its sudden burst of action. And we slipped off, just two uninteresting teenagers walking away from a habitat. No one, human or Yeerk, would ever suspect a thing.

Step one was a complete success. Now if all went according to plan, the tree creature would be dead by sunset.

...

Sniffing this thing out proved to be the biggest challenge. Thanks to both my leg and the absence of the tree creature I'd morphed dog and kept my nose to the ground for over half an hour trying to find it. It proved a little difficult for the creature had obviously chosen a new location since our fight and its scent trail was getting old, the underlying animal smell disappearing even faster than the unusual plant smell. My new morph could have found it in an instant and headed right to it, but being that it wasn't actually native to this area it was best that I keep it under wraps. If someone else noticed it and realised that it wasn't a native creature the point of using it to kill the tree creature would be gone. they'd know that it was an 'Andelite Bandit'. A dog in the woods is much less suspicious. Especially if what looks like a teenage boy is fumbling through the tree branches ten feet behind it.

"Are actually getting any closer to it?" Erek asked, growing annoyed. We'd been searching for a while and apparently even androids have limits to their patience.

I'd say so, but it's a little hard to tell. That thing is been bouncing everywhere judging from the gaps in its scent on the ground, but it is growing stronger. I answered, deliberately keeping my 'voice' calm and formal just to annoy him more, mentally smirking when I when he grunts. You know the saying 'always forgive your enemies because nothing annoys them more? It's pretty much the same thing using calm tones with irritated people.

But I have to admit even I was getting a little annoyed. I don't know if the battle with me left it paranoid or if it just wasn't capturing enough people in its old spot, but that thing had moved pretty far off. The sun was beginning to set and still wasn't sure how much longer I'd have to...

"Your two hours are almost up." Erek warned me. being an android, he had a built in clock. But I didn't need the warning, I was already demorphing within a bush. The scent had almost spontaneously gone from barely there to all over the place. Neither my dog or human mind could figure out exactly that had happened, but it did make one thing clear. It was very close. It may even have noticed our presence. And if I was right, I had to move fast before it could blow Erek's cover to the Yeerks or run away.

Breathing deeply, I let myself relax and regain what little strength I could in about twenty seconds and pushed my head out through the leaves to give Erek a firm look so he knew what was going on before focusing entirely on the komodo dragon.

I wasn't sure if I was more startled or annoyed when the first thing to come was the tail. Nothing else was changing, my tailbone just sprouted out forming a thick tail covered in very human skin. Seeing as nothing else happened until it had long since reached the length of my leg, I looked ridiculous. And it only got worse when the next things to change were my finger nails, growing into long, deadly looking claws. Of course, to add to the look my teeth had to be the next thing to change while my organs squelched and grew, bloating up my torso. I didn't need the grossed out look on Erek's face to know that I looked like some kind of horror movie reject.

It was almost a relief when my body started lengthening, reshaping into the lizard's form. At least my organs weren't taking up more than the allotted room under my skin. My limbs however, grew shorter as they reshaped, but much stockier, the better to run fast and slash lethally while effortlessly holding up my heavy body. Unable to sigh anymore, I let out a long, relaxing breath as my face finally bulged out and formed the dragon's nose and mouth, providing sufficient room in my mouth for my teeth. Good timing too, because a very uncomfortable feeling in my gums heralded the arrival of even more, along with a pressure that had to be the growing poison sacks a moment later. And of course, I almost freaked out at the forking shape that my tongue developed. It felt weird, incorrect, like someone had mutilated it only without causing me pain.

The scales were the last change to occur. Another strange sight I must of been for Erek, who looked ready to be sick despite his human form only being a hologram. To look exactly like a komodo, eyes, claws, teeth and all, but have human flesh. I was very glad that I couldn't see myself at the moment.

Having only grown fur and leathery skin before, the feeling of scales growing felt very unusual and a little nerve wracking for me. Fur itches as it grows, but its soft and flexible. The scales however, were hard, unyielding as metal and created pressure over my skin like someone was pinching it together as they formed, needle like bones growing in them. I panicked a little at the feeling at first. I'm claustrophobic and they were so solid that they made me feel a little pressed in. however, as more grew and they all settled properly the feeling passed. Of course, it might have something to do with the lizard's mind waking up. It was as used to the scales as I am with my skin.

It was a very ancient mind. Very primitive, to the point that it didn't have a clue about fear or desperation. Nothing in its land could fight it except its own kind. It didn't need to eat every day and when he did, it was easy to find and follow, usually dead from poison the lizard would inject it with in preparation for the need to eat a few days later. Its focus was almost entirely on prepare, relax and track down.

But simplistic as it was, it had a very strong will. It had so few things to think about that it my human mind couldn't get enough of a handhold to think of anything else. Especially since my eyes had found a source of food.

Something was weird though. Confusion filled me as I stalked closer, flicking out my tongue. The creature could see me, but it wasn't afraid, wasn't moving away. All well, easy meal as far as that was concerned. However, what really confused me was that my prey had no animal scent. My eyes were telling me that it was prey while my nose and tongue were telling me is was an object, something I probably shouldn't bother with.

It's mouth was moving, but it was difficult to make out what noise was coming out. I had huge holes for ears, but unlike other lizards, my hearing is almost non-existent. It all sounds very muffled to me.

"Warren? Why haven't you answered me yet?" I took my brain a few seconds to register each word and even longer for them to make any kind of sense. Komodo dragons don't have conversations, let alone with humans. But humans do and it was exactly what I needed to help me regain my control. Focusing on every word Erek said, I pushed right through the focused mind and stopped walking right before Erek felt it necessary to stop me.

I got it now. I said, turning away from him. the komodo, still stubborn having not bitten a future meal, was still struggling with me, but the animal mind cooperated well enough when I turned my attention to the scent of the tree creature. Walking in to where the scent dominated the area, it took no time at all to find the damn thing. My tongue was far superior to even the German Sheppard's nose and determined that it was hidden within a pair of closely growing trees instantly.

Slinking within another set of bushes, I watched it with critical eyes, waiting for its reaction to me. However, it didn't even seem to know that I was there. It was extremely relaxed, unlike last time. Focusing for a more detailed look, I found its face and found that it could almost have been sleeping. That is, if it didn't have one eye slightly open and watching where I knew Erek was standing. It was expecting human prey. Perfect.

Erek, could you come into the clearing please? Draw it closer to me? I asked, tensing my legs. I didn't get any response of course, but a moment later the vibrations of something particularly heavy moved in close and Erek's suddenly dirt covered face entered my field of vision.

Just as he did, the creature pounced, causing a mock startled look to cross Erek's face. Watching as it approached, I waited as still as a statue, making no noise as I calculated where its springy feet would land. Finding the exact spot, I waited a few more seconds...and lashed out my tail, sending crying to the ground as Erek stepped aside.

Now! I was on it in an instant. Bursting out of my hiding place, I ran straight onto its back and sunk my claws right through its skin, bringing more and more inhuman wails from it was I moved for its arm. It wasn't going to go down easy though, just as I had moved halfway up its torso it forced us into a roll, much like before. However, this time my claws were more than effective enough to cling on to it, even as I moved one claw further up at a time, causing it to scream again and again as new deep slashes replaced the already healed ones.

I'd just managed to get my teeth by its arm when the creature rolled my back into a rock hard, causing a fair bit of pain through my system. The resulting spasm ripped my claws free from his back, but I at least got the pleasure of returning the pain as they ripped up more of its flesh.

"RRRRAAAAAHHHHH!" It appeared that it wasn't used to facing such long and powerful claws like mine, for unlike before the wounds were having a very noticeable effect. They weren't healing nearly as quickly, though they'd still be gone soon enough, and the controller couldn't force its host back onto its feet as its form shook too much. Taking advantage of the situation, I placed myself close to its arm, but out of range of its flailing claws. I had to wait for the wounds to heal a little first because if they hadn't finished recovering before this thing died my plan was ruined. So I waited just until it calmed down and threw my open jaw at it.

Seeing me coming, the tree creature lashed out with its claws, aiming for my eyes, but I just ducked under it and kept going. They did manage to slash at my back, but if anything, my scales hurt them. Reaching my target, I clamped my jaw down and listened to its barely noticeable, muffled scream as I released my venom into its blood stream. My job done, I backed away and watched.

Ben was right. The creature's blood flow was hyper accelerated. And as such, so was anything that got in it. Normally the prey would die in a few days, according the mind of the komodo dragon that only wanted to rest now. However, the creature showed signs of some of the venom's most obvious symptoms, muscle paralysis and shock, within a minute. The bite wound was managing to heal over and would be gone by the time it died, though only because I was careful with how deep my teeth went in. lowering blood pressure and its ability to clot were other symptoms of the venom and I didn't want to risk it not healing enough and revealing the size of the creature that killed it.

It was just at that moment that it hit me, a great load of pity for the poor thing. Poison was not a pleasant way to die and the creature itself had done nothing wrong. It was like the Hork-Bajir as far as I knew, an innocent creature that was enslaved and forced to attack our world. I watched, refusing to look away as it suffered until it finally fell still, looking perfectly healthy, but clearly dead. And I felt a part of me die with it. The lizard's mind had practically gone to sleep with satisfaction and wasn't strong enough to shield me from the trauma of killing like the hyena's did. It was a creature to be pitied and I'd thought of nothing but causing it pain. I'd killed it. It probably preferred death over infestation, but that wasn't the point. I didn't even think about saving it. And it was hitting me hard now.

You're a soldier. I told myself as I demorphed, though it didn't do anything to stop the pain, guilt and self hate I was feeling. You did what you had to do.

Yeah. That was true. I did what I had to do. But I did it without considering my morals. I guessed that I'd just have to deal with though it because as much as I hated it, I'd already killed it and there was no other alternative for the safety of mankind. And I knew that I'd have kill innocent slaves again soon. I just hoped that next time I had the hyena's fierce mind to hide behind.

"Way to go. See, I was right the first time. I knew that you could do it." Erek grinned, though the look in his eyes suggested that he was about as happy witnessing this death as I was. Taking an innocent life was just as barbaric to him as it was to me and it seemed that now the job was done even his hologram couldn't hide what he felt entirely. "You really are just as tough as they are."

I forced a grin at that, though it didn't reach my eyes either. No I'm not. They have to be tougher than me, more hardened. Otherwise killing a few Hork-Bajir would have sent them into a serious state of depression. However, I didn't say any of that, though when I did talk my voice seemed hollow. "Thanks Erek. But now I'll need your help. There's one more step to this and only the Chee can do it."

A look of understanding immediately crossed his face and he nodded. I didn't have to say anything else so we fell into silence as I put the outer clothes and shoes he'd carried for me back on before heading for home.

When I got there I just ate the dinner Mom put in front of me and locked myself in my room. Wasting just enough time to make sure my curtains were shut, I ripped my loose clothes off again, morphed hyena and lay down beside my bed. I couldn't lose myself in my ferret morph's mind, so I decided to bury myself in my most familiar, predatorial one instead, comforted by a mind that said that killing out of necessity was ok.

...

To say that everyone in the barn was surprised to know that the creature was gone was an understatement. If I wasn't still feeling bad, I probably would have laughed as Marco stared at me like a goldfish and felt pride at the impressed look from Rachel. Ax appeared a little disbelieving if I was reading his mouth less face right and Tobias was unreadable as ever, though I'd noticed that he was observing me more than he usually would.

"You didn't have to do it on your own you know." Jake said softly. He and Cassie were both staring at me with concern. I was clearly an open book to Cassie, I could see her interpreting everything on my face and growing sadder for me with every second. I'd tried to dull it down, but there's no hiding anything from that girl. Jake didn't seem to see the same depth, but it was pretty clear that he at least instinctively knew the basics of what was running through my head. Considering the kind of person he is, he probably went through the exact same thing in the beginning. In terms of morals he and I always were on more or less the same footing. "You could have taken any of us with you. I would have if you asked and Marco volunteered."

Probably should have let Marco do it. Then I wouldn't feel so guilty. I thought in response. After all, he doesn't seem to have nearly as much of a problem killing enemies as I do.

"I can't believe you didn't use me." Marco chipped in. "Or that you were actually stubborn enough to find the one animal you could morph that could do the job. I could have just morphed spider or cobra."

"You wanted me to prove myself to you." I said coldly, giving him a pointed look. "So I did more than you expected all on my own."

"Oh, you did alright, but it wasn't me or any of us I wanted you to prove yourself to." Marco shook his head amusedly. "It was you."

"What?" I gaped. That one knocked me for a loop. "What do you mean I had to prove myself to myself?"

"You needed to stop doubting your own worth." He responded, the familiar words holding a lighter version of the tone used with them before. "You'd never see that we see you as an equal until you realised that you were good enough to stand beside us." He added with a smile.

"You eavesdropped on my conversation with Ben." I exclaimed, though it was more in disbelief than an accusation. And it hit me right then that he was right. Unknowingly, I'd developed the same insecurities about myself that Ben developed. And again, they were inaccurate. I wasn't another subdivision of Earth's resistance. I was a full Animorph, a member of the main team. Ignoring Ax, who looked more indifferent than anything else, the others all saw me as an equal, not a cripple. Despite all that had happened, all that I'd felt only moments ago, I couldn't help laughing at that little turn of events.

"Thanks Marco." I said with a small smile. "It's nice to know you care so much about me."

"Hey, I have to be nice. Chances are you and me will be roommates at the nuthouse one day. I don't want you to kill me." He grinned back.

"Ok, back to the matter at hand." Rachel called bossily, looking a little confused and irritated as a result. "I understand the science behind the poison-"

"I'm gonna get you for making me sound like such a geek to Ben by the way." Marco interjected with a playful glare at me. "Honestly, the scientific approach to Wolverine?"

"Oh please, I could hand a toy rocket ship and have you tell me everything about it from what show it came from to its speed, weaponry and tiniest gadget." Jake jibed right back for me. "Face it Marco, you are a geek."

"Then so are you, oh fearless leader, you learnt it all along with me." Marco retorted with a smirked.

"Would you two shut up?" Rachel snapped, only more aggravated by the interruption. "I was going to ask, how do we explain that the thing died at the hands of a wild animal when the poison came from an Asian animal in the middle of America?"

"Oh, that's not a problem." I responded, deflating as the image of the dying tree creature flashed through my head again. "When the Yeerks found it this morning a Chee hid within the ranks of the controllers examining the corpse. When they discover that it was poisoned, he'll mention that there are lots of poisonous plants and animals worldwide and that they're easy to come across. Since these things don't have any resistance to poison, they'll instantly be deemed traceable in the wild and unsuitable for Earth. I doubt we'll ever see one again. How do you deal with it?" I asked, biting my lip as I felt tears stinging my eyes. "How do you guys stay sane when you've killed so many innocent slaves?"

"Easy, we're not sane." Marco replied automatically, though his voice had lost its amused air for a sombre one.

/You focus on the Yeerk, not the host./ Said Ax, surprising my when his voice was soft as opposed to the usual cold or haughty tones he gave me.

"If you have to think of the host you need to kill then only think of the fact that you have freed them from their suffering. Trust me, it's definitely the preferred option over infestation." Cassie added, sounding as sad as I felt. "Going any further than that may destroy you."

"I see. I don't know if I can do that." I muttered, crossing my arms as the first tears started to fall. Cassie was there in an instant, hugging me as I just let them flow. Above me, Tobias flapped down from the rafters and though he said nothing, he landed carefully on my shoulder so as not to hurt me, using his physical presence to comfort me like Cassie.

"You got it with the hyena. Eventually you'll be able to do it without a predator's help." Jake said reassuringly, though he looked a little sad at the fact at the same time.

"It took us all a while to figure out." Rachel admitted, making it clear that even she was no different. "And you'll always feel a little pain when it happens and I hope for all our sakes that we all always will, but it get easier to handle."

"Especially when killing them helps save countless others. Just keep that in mind when your thoughts wander the wrong way." Marco finished.

Nodding my head, I just stood there and embraced any comfort that they could give me and waited for myself to calm down. They were all right of course. It didn't feel right or fair by a long shot, but that's how life is. It's the nature of life, eventually someone must die so others can live. War just takes it to new levels

I let myself revel in the acceptance and care they'd shown me for a little longer before disentangling myself from Cassie smiled appreciatively at each of them, even Ax, though he just nodded his head in response. All well, it's a start.

As our conversation turned to other topics, many of which involved Rachel threatening humiliation and bodily harm to Marco over a few of his jokes, I let myself relax against a bale of hay next to Jake and laughed as Rachel finally had enough and dragged Marco around the barn by his ear until he promised not to make anymore suggestive comments involving Tobias and her bedroom window.

As I did, I made two promises to myself before letting myself be drawn away into the current conversations. One was that I'd stop doubting myself and place on the team for good. I was their equal and that was that. The other was that even if I do have to take the innocent lives of controllers, their sacrifices would never be in vein. I'd make sure of that.