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a/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I might update a little late(i'm so sorry) but I promise to finish this one! And make another story, perhaps? (wink, wink)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Chapter 14

Open Doors

I don't want to wake up.

I grunt as I can feel the sun shining on my face. Of course, I still need to wake up. And even if I don't want to face reality. I have to. I need to get up, grow some back bone and face Natsume today. And that made me let out a frustrated groan. I've been trying to give myself some sleep to forget about what happened last night but in my dreams, Natsume's voice haunts me. "Damn it." I murmured in my pillow as I cover it on my face.

The warmth of his lips as he kissed me roughly. And the sincerity and frustration on his voice as he tells me that he will wait. Everything just makes all these so mess up.

"Mikan."

And of course, I don't want to face my irrational mother.

"Get up. We need to talk." I can hear the anger on her voice. After what happened last night, I already wonder how she planned on making me suffer for the rest of my life. One thing my mother doesn't want is a disobedient daughter a.k.a Mikan Sakura.

"I'm not really in the mood to listen to whatever you want to say, mom." I emphasized the word as if mocking her. I've already started a revolution of being a disobedient daughter might as well pissed her off more.

A gasp escaped from her lips and I don't need to look at her because I know she's already crossing her arms under her chest and her brows are now furrowed. "Mikan Sakura." And the complete name means I'm in trouble. "Where the hell did you leave your manners, huh? Since when did you start disobeying me and disrespecting me?"

I threw the pillow on my face to the floor and sat up. Her eyes were already filled with anger and frustration like she always does when something's happening that doesn't give any good to her. "Let me guess." The mock on my voice was obvious as I say, "Maybe ever since you've been planning everything against my back, huh?"

"If you're talking about your marriage, I guess instead of acting like a brat might as well thank me. I can see the thing you have with Natsume, darling even if things aren't in good hands right now but you like him already!" she shouted. You rarely see Yuka Sakura lose her composure. And I'm going to make sure I'll remember this day.

I stood up and neared myself to her as the words I've been meaning to say come out from my mouth. "Is it really about the marriage, mom? Is the damn marriage the only thing you've been planning behind my back?"

And you don't always see Yuka Sakura looking dumbfounded. Her mouth hung open as she looked at me in disbelief and in horror. "What are you talking about?" I heard the fear in her voice.

I stepped closer to her. My mother isn't really a tall woman so when I stood in front of her, our eyes immediately aligned and met. "I know, mom. I know how you track me down and made Mochou ran away from me and he left me. And I almost died because you were too stubborn to understand that I don't want to come home." I spit those words like poison as I looked at her with disgust. "And when I woke up, you convinced everyone that I was in an amnesia just because the first thing that came out from my mouth was what happened and every time I try to tell dad everything, you scare me that remembering everything will make everything and my amnesia worse."

"Mikan…"

"And I pretended to have an amnesia. I pretended that you were right. Of course, you will always be right since you're a doctor yourself so I convinced you, mom. I convinced you that I was actually having an amnesia and I forgot everything." I was almost trembling as I stopped the tears from falling from my eyes. Letting her know that I was aware was the thing that I've been preparing myself that one day she'll know, that she might have tricked everyone but not me. I was aware of all the lies she fed the people around us.

"Mikan." She sobbed my name as tears fell fast from her sad eyes. "I-I can explain." She tried to choke the words out from her cries. "I only did it to protect you. I… I didn't mean to hurt you. I was afraid that your wrong choices—"

"Wrong choices?" I snapped. I haven't felt this angry before. Remembering every damn thing she did, it made me want to explode and I'm an inch of forgetting that she is my mother. "That's right! Because the only right thing here is you. It has always been you, mom. Not me. Or us. Just you. You were too righteous that you think our decision about ourselves is wrong!"

"You were running away from Mochou, Mikan! With him and he was using you!" She cried.

I stood there with my cold brown eyes looking at her as she looked at me like she just lost her daughter. "I ran away because I was in love." The truth tasted bitter yet good. "I was in love with Natsume and I had to run away from everything. Mochou knew that and you didn't because you were trying to make me focus that I should be perfect for my husband."

Her eyes widen as she heard what I said. "What—what do you mean? Mikan, I didn't know."

"Exactly. Because you were never a mother to me. Just some mere teacher who teaches me to be perfect for Natsume." And with that I walked away from her. I need to get away from this moment before I explode with all the buried truth I've been hiding ever since.

Seeing your mother every day with a hidden grudge inside you isn't easy. It slowly kills you as you try to protect the truth but telling every damn secret you kept, makes everything more damn mess up. And slowly forgotten feelings starts consume me once again.

When I walked away from my conversation with my mother, I decided that I'd rather face Natsume than see my mother or anyone inside the house. So I immediately took a shower and leave the house without seeing her once again. I decided to drive myself towards the office. I've already taught myself to drive secretly. Rebelling against my mother somehow makes me feel good even if it's bad. Like a good bad.

After I parked the car, I immediately walked inside and went to my office. And as I scan through the people I meet, I didn't see any hint that Natsume was inside the same building as I was. I decided to shrug the idea of not seeing Natsume. Today, I will bury myself with all the office work. I need a day to forget everything.

I went to my office and as what I swore earlier, I buried myself with all the work and deadlines that I should be finishing. My cellphone was turned off to avoid everyone, especially my mother. By just thinking of her makes my stomach turn. I've always loved my mother but after what happened throughout the years, I slowly doubt if she really do love me. But I decided to push all the thoughts at the back of my mind. And in the middle of all the work, I glanced at my wall clock and it says 9:20 pm. "Woah, I didn't know I was literally burying myself with work." I mumbled. As much as I want to rest since I can slowly feel how exhausted I am, I don't want to see my mother yet. "Maybe I can invite Tsubasa for some dinner."

Then I thought I didn't see Tsubasa today, he didn't even check on me as he usually does. Though it feels weird, I just ignored it. Grabbing my purse, I went out of my office and walked towards Tsubasa's office. Though I try to deny, I've been looking at the crowded hallway, silently hoping that I could bump at Natsume. But no luck. As I've arrived at Tsubasa's office, I saw her secretary fixing her things.

"Excuse me." I said as I approached her.

Her green eyes looked at me, at first with shock, then she immediately put her shoulder bag down then smiled at me. "Mrs. Hyuuga." I almost grunt hearing what she just called me. Some of the employees here calls me that. "Can I help you?"

"Um, actually. I'm looking for Tsubasa. Is he here?" I asked with a small smile on my face.

"Yes, yes!" Her voice was so cheerful like she doesn't look tired from such a long day. "Do you want me to tell him that you're here?" she asked as she reached for the telephone.

But before she could, I immediately stopped her. "No, no!" I said. "I'll just walk inside. W hy don't you go home? I saw you fixing yourself before I came."

She blushed at my statement then smiled. "Thank you, Mrs. Hyuuga. Just enter at that door and you'll find Mr. Andou." She gave one last smile at me then she grabbed her bags and folders and immediately left.

I watched her leave and when I can't see her figure anymore, I turned at the office's door. I don't usually visit Tsubasa since he's the one who always go to my office and invite me for lunch. The moment I usually go here is when I deliver files for him. And this, going to his office, asking him to have dinner with me, creeps me out. He might jump to conclusion!

But then I'd rather have him assume things than seeing my mother tonight. So I approached the door and silently open it then closed it. Tsubasa's office is smaller than mine but his office have this warm colors for his walls. There are also paints hanged in the wall. And then I saw him, his back actually, as he was looking at the window, talking with someone on the phone.

I was about to approach him when I heard him yell. "Well, it's not my fault if their parents are too supportive with their marriage! So don't blame everything to me!" His right hand clutched his phone tightly as he paused. I know I shouldn't eavesdrop. It's not really good. Maybe I should just wait outside but before I could turn around, I hear something that made me stop. "I've been doing everything to separate Mikan from Natsume! Don't you fucking forget that if it wasn't for me, they might be still at the same roof right now, acting like husband and wife, Anna!"

And my eyes went wide and I couldn't help but gasp on what I heard. Tsubasa knows Anna. And they've been planning to destroy my marriage with Natsume. What the freaking fuck.

I took one last peek at Tsubasa and immediately left his office silently. Once I was out, I ran towards the elevator and pressed the down button as many times as I can. My heart was pounding as I entered the elevator, hoping I wouldn't see Tsubasa and when the door closed, I let out a heavy loud sigh. After what I have heard, I couldn't still believe everything. I've known Tsubasa all my life and I knew how an asshole he could be but I never thought he could do this to me… How could he betray me?

And just like that, I finally realized everything. Not hearing anything from Anna and Mochou after the party was already quite suspicious as what Hotaru always told me before. And then suddenly, out of the blue, Tsubasa came back in Japan… Of course, to make Natsume overthink about him and my past. And he was there when Natsume and I had a fight when he found out everything. Of course. And now he's working in our company…

But why? Why would Tsubasa do this to me? He was the one who broke up with me in the first place. And I never even heard about him after he left for college! Why would Tsubasa do this to me?

I almost jumped when the elevator's door opened. Immediately I walked out and ran towards my car. I need to go anywhere, somewhere far from here. And I need to tell this to someone. I went inside my car and immediately turn the engine on and I drove outside the building. When I was already on the highway, I dialed Hotaru's number but she didn't pick up her phone.

"Damn it. Hotaru." I muttered as I threw my phone on the back seat.

The whole time I was driving, I was trying to formulate how Tsubasa could work with Anna and why would they want for Natsume and I to separate? And without thinking, I turned my car around and went to the place that I shouldn't have left. To the place where I really belong.

Once I parked my car, I immediately went to our floor. And I almost forgot how to breathe when I was already facing the door. I raised my right hand but paused, should I knock? "Of course I should." I said to myself. But what would I say to Natsume? Shall I tell him about Tsubasa or about everything… But deep inside I know I'm scared. Opening up to someone feels like removing every skin in my body, it feels like I'm opening the door so they could see through me.

But the minute I realize Natsume deserves all the answers he has been asking me, the door opened.

"Oh my god. Well, hello there Mikan."

And to my horror, Anna is standing on the door way, her arms crossed under her chest and she had the biggest smirk she ever had. And I stood there with my wide eyes, my mouth slightly opened, shocked, hurt and betrayed. And the door was pushed open and there was Natsume, standing at the back of Anna, he was surprised seeing me. His crimson eyes widen in shock as he looked at me in disbelief.

And I know at that very moment, I should walk away. Of course, I was a fool for thinking Natsume wouldn't make a detour as we try to discover this shit out. Of course, Anna would grab this chance to steal Natsume away from me. And I was stupid, very stupid, thinking it's not yet too late to tell everything.

"Mi-mikan…" Natsume stammered as he still looked at me with the shock expression on his face. He looked a little tired, ragged and a little different but nonetheless he is still as handsome as he always was. "It's not what you think."

My mind was brought back to the earth when I heard him say my name. I've always felt good when I hear my name from Natsume's mouth but right now I felt like my heart slowly shattered in to pieces. So I decided to do the best thing in this situation. "No. I-I'm sorry. I didn't know… Bye." My voice was cracked as I tried my best not to cry in front of them. I hurriedly turned my body around but before I could take a step away from them…

"No it's okay. I was actually leaving." Anna's voice sounded happy in a bad way. "I had fun Natsume, bye!" She took a step past me as she flipped her damn pink hair on my face and started to walk away.

And at that moment I did what Mikan Sakura would do in this situation.

"What the fuck!" was Anna's scream as I grabbed her pink fucking hair and pulled her back to face me. Her eyes glared at me like she was ready to punch my face and she shouted. "Let go of my hair!"

Luckily I was taller than Anna so it's easy to just pull the bitch's hair because this time it's payback time.

"Actually, your fake wavy pink hair deserves a little pull." I bitterly said to her face. "And actually, you should finally know that you're messing with the wrong bitch." And this is another moment, I would never forget because after that I punch the bitch right on her face, specifically right on her damn nose!

"Mikan!" I heard Natsume shouted as Anna landed on the floor.

"Stay the fuck out of here!" I shouted. I stepped closer to Anna knelt down on her body. And the bitch that I am, I let out a laughter as I saw her touched her nose. "Aw, did I hurt your fake nose too? God, nose lift is kind of expensive these days."

She looked at me with horror expression on her face. "You bitch!"

And I smirk. "You want to see how bitch I am?"

As her eyes widen, I took it as a sign to grab her hair again and slapped her again and again. I was already on top of her, strangling her hair as she tries to protect herself with her hands. "I've been waiting for this day to happen where you can finally realize you messed with the wrong bitch!" I shouted as I continued to freaking destroy her goddamn Barbie face.

"Stop! Stop!"

When was the last time I had a cat fight? Because hearing her pleads with stop became the best thing I've ever heard. I didn't know how long I tried to destroy the bitch's face but suddenly I felt Nastsume's hand around me as he pulled me away from Anna.

"Let go of me!" I shouted as I wriggled my body out of his grasp. "Natsume!"

He pulled my arm and made me face him. His eyes looked at me like I wasn't the kind of girl who could actually kill another person. "Mikan!" he shook my body once and the looked at me with wide eyes. "Stop! You don't know what you're doing! It's not what you think!"

"Oh yeah? I know what I'm doing!" My voice started to rise as I pushed his hands away and turned to Anna. She trying to stand up, touching her face. "You think I didn't know that you were the one who brought Mochou here in Japan? You think I didn't know that you invited me to your party so Mochou and I will meet again and Natsume will finally realize I've been hiding things from him! You think I also don't know that you and Tsubasa are working together to make us separate!"

She pushed her hair on her back and shouted. "You better make sure that you're accusing me the right things because I'm going to fucking kill you—"

"I heard your conversation with Tsubasa earlier, you fucking bitch!" I shouted back as I tried to ran towards her and give her another lesson but Natsume grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?"

"Anna, leave."

And Anna and I looked shock the moment Natsume spoke. Anna's eyes widen as she looked at Natsume like he said some weird language. "What?" she gasped.

"I said leave." His voice sounded calm yet angry. And Natsume's expression started to darken.

"You're believing her? Natsume, I couldn't do those things to you—"

"I said leave, Anna!" And this time he shouted. His voice sounded so angry like he was trying to control his self to do something like punching Anna though I prayed a little that he will do that.

Anna stood there with wide eye as guilt started to spread on her face. Then her eyes eyed me angrily and said. "You're going to regret this." She turned around and walked away from us. When she finally entered the elevator, I removed Natsume's hand in my arm and walked away too.

Natsume's POV

Panicked started to sink in me when I saw Mikan walk away. I know this isn't the very best moment to let her leave feeling angry with me. So I followed her and immediately grab her arm, "Mikan." I said. I turned her around and couldn't help but feel guilty with the cold expression she is giving me. "Let me explain, please."

"There's nothing to explain, Natsume." She answered me as she gently removed my hand from her arm. With her crack voice, I could tell she's trying not to cry in front of me. "I just don't like Anna and now after knowing everything I just want to strangle that bitch down."

I know she didn't want to hear more explanations but for me she needs to know before she walks away.
"She came here because she told she was here to tell me everything that you hide from me…" I trailed off waiting for her reaction and then her eyes widen in shock. "But I told her I didn't want to hear anything from her, Mikan. That's why I let her leave and then you arrived."

"That bitch said that?!" she shouted as she furrowed her brows. I never saw Mikan this angry and I'm not even sure if I should find this scary or amusing.

I nodded my head and reached for her hands. Her eyes soften as she glanced at my gesture then to my eyes. "Mikan." I said her name sincerely. "I'm ready to hear everything."

"Natsume…" she stuttered as she said my name. The softness in her eyes vanished as it replaced with fear and anxiety. "You don't know what you're saying."

Part of me decided not to tell the truth but part of me knows that it is the best thing that should happen. "Please."

She stiffened hearing the one word that sounded like I was begging to her but then I watched her took a deep breath and I knew that this is it. "Okay." She intertwined her hand to mine and said. "Let's go inside?"

I tried to hide the giddiness and nervousness I'm feeling as I heard her say okay. I simply nodded and followed her lead and we both entered the condominium. Once we were inside, I silently closed to the door and when I was about to turn the lights on, she stopped me. "Don't. I like it off."

She removed her hand to mine and sighed. I couldn't see her reaction in the darkness but I could sense she was smiling but not the happy smile that she always had. The kind of smile that comes with ache inside. "When was the last time I was here…" she mumbled.

I didn't say anything so silence enveloped the both of us. And then she decided to speak. "Let's talk to the balcony. I'm just going to get something." She immediately went to our bedroom. Wow, that sounds…I don't know, great? I followed her and decided to turn the lights in the room and it confuses me as she open a drawer and started to search for something. Maybe she was looking for an evidence or something about her past that she would like to show me.

"Aha!" And it surprise me when she held a tequila and a one pack of cigarettes.

Maybe I know she drinks since everyone I know does, even the goody two shoes Ruka but hiding a tequila on her drawer? That's not the Mikan I've been expecting to know. And I saw her smoke once and I thought she smoke only when she's too depress like me but hiding a pack of cigarettes on her drawer? Now, I'm intrigued.

I couldn't help but smirk. "Guess the prim and proper Mikan Sakura has something to hide."

She looked at me and walked towards me as she smirked back. "Oh, prim and proper Mikan Sakura has everything to hide." And when she's standing in front of me, she clicked her tongue and said. "Do you have a lighter?"

I nodded. "Yes." Then she handed the tequila bottle to me and I raised one of my brows to her. "What's this for?"

"You're gonna need it." She looked at me with serious eyes and asked me something I'm not sure I was ready to answer. "Are you ready to hear the truth behind the prim and proper Mikan Sakura?"

I turned off the lights, not sure if that gesture tells yes or no.

But fuck it. I'm gonna hear everything tonight.

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