Things I do not have: chill
Things I do have: extensive experience dealing with little old ladies. I swear to god they're all like this.
Special thanks to everyone on Tumblr who suggested names! The book discussed in this chapter is Deafening by Frances Itani.

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Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoy it! I'm always open for feedback if you have any!

Summary: Senior women love nothing more than sticking their noses in other people's business, especially Yamcha's.

"While I see your point, Mildred, I think Itani was more trying to prove that-"

There was a knock at the board room door, interrupting Helen's rebuttal. All eyes were on the unmistakable figure of Tien Shinhan from circulation through the window next to the door. Yamcha stood up. "Just a second," he said. "That's probably for me. Hold that thought, Helen; I'll be right back."

When the door shut behind him, Sandra clucked her tongue. "Do you think Yamcha's asked him out yet?"

Ethel shook her head. "That boy wouldn't know how to ask someone out if you held up cue cards for him."

"Oh, I don't know," Martha said. They watched the two men through the glass. Yamcha gently laid a hand on Tien's arm and some of the women sighed. "That's a pretty intimate gesture to me. I think they're an item."

"No, no, Martha," Helen said, still annoyed at being interrupted. "He's trying to show he's interested, but Tien's not taking the hint. The both of them are about as sharp as a tennis ball."

"Now, that's not very nice," said Patience.

"You can't argue with it, though," Helen shot back. "They'll never get together; they're too far up their own-"

"Helen," Catherine said sharply. Helen flushed and folded her arms.

"I was talking to the young man from the front desk," Judith said. "You know, the short one with the big eyes? And he said that Tien had been 'distracted' lately, but he wouldn't say what about." She nodded to the conversation going on on the other side of the door. "I think it was asking our Yamcha out."

Gladys sniffed derisively. "Even if it was about that, we don't know if he ever actually did it, now do we?"

"There's no need to be rude, Gladys," Patience said. "Although if one of them is going to ask the other one out at all, I hope it's soon. Our Yamcha needs someone like that in his life." The other women all nodded and expressed affirmations-there were few things the whole group could agree on, but that was one of them.

"Oh, he's looking in here," said Eliza. Sure enough, Tien was looking just over Yamcha's shoulder and had seen that they were all watching them.

Catherine's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, dear. I hope he doesn't think we were spying on them."

"We pretty much were, though," Ethel admitted.

Through the glass, they saw Tien slide a finger under Yamcha's chin, tilt his head up, and kiss him. The room just about exploded. Tien smirked at them through the glass before walking off, Yamcha's muffled shouting following him. He turned back to the room, red-faced, and saw the entire Monday Night Book Club watching him. Visibly bracing himself, he opened the door.

"Sorry about-" he started, but he was immediately interrupted by cheers and clapping and congratulations.

"What do you mean you need another book club meeting this month?" Pilaf whined. "Do you know how much work that leaves me? I have to book the board room for an extra night, and make up signs, and-"

"Look, if you want to try and get a bunch of sixty-somethings to talk about Deafening instead of your love life for forty minutes," Yamcha snapped, "be my guest."