Chapter 14 - Reward

The dining room table was elegantly decorated. The table cloth had a green and red Christmas design with coordinating place mats and napkins. There were two groups of three candles on each end and a group of five larger candles in the center. The china had a pattern of large poinsettias across the plates with smaller floral pattern around the edge. There was a thin strip of gold at the outer edge. Matching salad plates and coffee cups and saucers sat beside the dinner plates. Olivia was not into china, but she knew quality and workmanship when she saw it. It was beautiful The eating utensils were gold instead of the average, boring stainless steel or silver and a beverage glass stood ready by each setting as well as a wine glass that Olivia had put there. Kathy had seated them so she was across from Dean and Olivia was across from Elliot.

When they were all seated, Elliot picked up the platter of steaks and held it out for Olivia to pick one. "Liv..."

"Thank you." From the way he said her name, she sensed his mood change and wondered what the heck had been said outside on the deck. Venturing a look at him, he kept his eyes on the steaks. She thought it odd that he avoided her eyes when earlier he had been so eager to meet her gaze. She took one and put it on her plate.

Shifting the plate toward Dean, Elliot barely grunted. "Take one."

"They look really good, Stabler. Thanks." Dean's smile was smug. He knew his last words on the deck had gotten under Elliot's skin and he was rather pleased with himself.

Elliot stabbed one of the remaining steaks and put it on Kathy's plate and then put the last one on his. Kathy had passed out the potatoes. The salad had already been placed at each setting.

"This china is beautiful, Kathy. It looks antique." Olivia complimented.

Kathy was pleased that Olivia had noticed. "Oh, you know your china? I never would have thought you would be into something like that."

She tried hard to keep the indignation out of her voice. "I'm not really. But I do know exceptional workmanship when I see it." What was that supposed to mean? 'You wouldn't be into something like that'! She took it as an affront to her femininity and unmarried status.

Proud to give a bit of history about it, Kathy explained, "It is antique. It belonged to my great grandmother. It's hand painted and signed in 24k gold by Joseph T. Yeschek. He was an acclaimed porcelain artist during the early 1900s. I love it, but, of course, it can only be used at Christmas because of the pattern."

"Food is great." Dean said, as he took a bite of salad. "Did you marinate the steak in something?"

"Oh, that's Elliot's department. Honey, what is it you do to the steaks?" Turning to him, she noticed he seemed to be in another world. He had been doing that an awful lot lately.

Fuming from Porter's last words, Elliot could barely speak, much less carry on a polite dinner table exchange. He could not even keep his mind on what was being said between the other three.

"Elliot?" Kathy was clearly getting aggravated.

"Elliot?" Just as she called his name again, he felt a kick to the shin and snapped to attention, glaring first at Liv, who was the apparent deliverer of the kick and then at Kathy. "What?" He snapped, turning to Kathy, still somewhat in a daze. His shin hurt like the devil!

"Dean wants to know what you marinated the steaks in?" She was trying to maintain a smile.

"Uh...marinade...yea...uh...beer, dark beer, brown sugar...uh...a bit of garlic, teriyaki sauce, garlic...oh..already said that..uh...salt and pepper...for a couple of hours." He was surprised he could remember the ingredients...just please don't ask how much of each.

"Beer? Why am I not surprised?" Dean laughed.

Elliot glared at him. "What is that supposed mean?"

Olivia tried to get him to look at her, but he would not. The kick worked the first time. And the second. Okay, okay. He glanced at Liv long enough to see in her eyes what she is thinking. If he does not quit acting like a jerk, she is going to keep sending him messages via kicks to the shin. That woman kicks like a soccer player! Oh, yea, she played varsity in high school!

"You're a beer man, aren't you? That's all I meant."

"They are very good, Elliot." Smiling, Liv cut another piece of steak and popped it in her mouth.

The steaks and potatoes may have been delicious to everyone else, but to Elliot it all tasted the same. Like cardboard. He really needed some Alka-Seltzer. Or another beer.

"So, Dean...have you had a chance to be stood up by Olivia because they caught a case at the last minute?" Kathy asked, as she cut a piece of steak.

"Not yet." He shook his head.

"Oh, then you must not have had plans last night, when they got called out."

"Uh..last night? He glanced at Liv, Elliot and then back to Kathy. "Liv was suppose to come by my place, but wasn't feeling well...she canceled...they didn't get a call..."

"Yes, they did. Elliot called around 6:00 saying he'd be late because they had a case...and Fin came by later..."

Elliot's mind snapped to full attention. Oh, man. He had to come up with something, but his mind was mush and he could not think quick enough to cover. In the few seconds it took for all this to take place, Liv's eyes sought his and when his finally met hers, she searched them, hearing every word his eyes spoke. Fear and guilt and pleading.

"Well, I talked to her around 7:00...she didn't mention it..." He was frowning slightly.

Liv quickly jumped into the conversation, covering for Elliot. You could be sure she would find out what exactly she was covering for later. "Uh...actually, we did have a case. But Elliot knew I wasn't feeling well and offered to take care of it since it was just interviewing one person."

All it took was a glance at Elliot to see his eyes held undying gratitude for her. Yea, El, I got your back. That's what partners are for...to cover your butt, when you screw up. Save your life. Rest assured you are going to spill the beans about where you were, what you were doing and with who last night. I lied for you and you are going to tell me every thing! She could not believe she lied to Kathy. And Dean. For Elliot.

Dean and Kathy looked at each other, and then back and forth at Elliot and Olivia, as though they were trying to process everything and decide if it was the truth or if they were being deceived.

"Yea...Liv was under the weather and it was no big deal...the interview." Elliot said, smiling at Kathy. He was getting good at this. Lying. That served only to magnify the guilt he felt.

"Oh, okay." Kathy said. She was suspicious, but decided to let it go because that was part of the reason they split up. Her suspicions and jealousy about his job, his partner.

"Makes sense." Although, he was not sure, Dean agreed.

He had watched the two of them as their eyes met. Never had he seen anyone carry on such a conversation with their eyes. There was no doubt that they were 'talking' to each other. Some of those rumors he heard, told tales about this almost super natural bond between them. Perhaps there was something to that, he thought.

His detective skills kicked in and he started thinking about last night. She hadn't showed up at his place or even called. He had called her cell phone. They didn't talk long. She said she was not well and was about to shower and go to bed. Yeah, but alone? He had no way of knowing if she were alone or even at home last night, for that matter. Whatever. Something was off about this whole thing about there being a case. Well, there were ways to find out and he would do just that first thing in the morning.

- - - - - - - - -

The four of them began clearing the table, taking things into the kitchen. Olivia insisted on at least loading the dishwasher. Elliot was going back and forth with dishes and things from the dining room.

"Would anyone like more wine with dessert? Kathy asked. When everyone answered they would, she picked up the wine bottle only to find it was empty. "Guess I'll have to get one from the Stabler stash in the basement."

Elliot took the bottle from her and placed it in the trash. "Hey. Since Dean seems to be a connoisseur of wine, why don't you let him pick a bottle?" Elliot suggested. He had to find a way to get a minute alone with Liv.

"Good idea, honey. Come on, Dean." She opened the door leading to the basement.

Dean knew exactly what Elliot was doing and he did not want to go pick a bottle of wine, but had no way to decline without bringing suspicion to his desire to stay upstairs. "Sounds great. We won't be long." He went to Liv, kissed her cheek and then reluctantly left her with Elliot, but not before shooting Elliot a threatening look.

Wasting no time, Elliot came up behind Olivia at the sink. She was rinsing dishes and piling them aside to put in the dishwasher. He leaned around her to place some more in the sink. "Thanks for covering for me, Liv. I owe you."

"Yea, you owe me an explanation as to where you were, who you were with and what you were doing last night that you would lie to your wife. And drag me into that lie." She shot back as she started rinsing the pile he had just brought.

Placing his arms around her, his hands gripping the counter on each side of the sink, he was mere inches from her. "Yea? What were you going to be doing at his place last night? Huh?" His breath was hot in her ear and she could feel the heat from his body as that tightness in her stomach intensified and her heart began to beat wildly. She also felt the anger over yesterday afternoon rare its ugly head at his question. But just for a second.

"Elliot..." Her voice was barely a whisper. "You n-need to...to back off. Kathy and Dean w-will be..." Her voice was small, weak, not hers.

"Kathy and Dean will be a while because she'll insist on showing him every bottle we have and telling a story about them and there must be sixty to seventy bottles. Besides, the stairs creak really loud, so I'll hear them coming up." He was still at her ear, his voice a whisper.

"We can't do this..." Words failed her as he pressed his body closer still not touching, hands still on the counter.

"Do what, Liv?" As he spoke, his breath blew into the hair at the back of her neck. The fire that ran down her entire body, threatened to consume her, turning her legs to ashes. She now gripped the counter as well, her hands millimeters from his.

Words stuck in her throat which suddenly had become very dry. She could not respond. Not with words, anyway. She was responding but not in a way she should. Not with him. Not in his house. Not with his wife and her date a floor below them. Not ever.

"What are we doing, Liv? Tell me." He demanded as he pressed his body into hers and barely brushed his lips to the back of her neck. He wanted so badly to turn her around so he could really kiss her. As it was, this was torment for the both of them.

Oh, dear God! "El, pl..please...we..we..." If he moves his hands and touches her, she thought...she was not going to be able to take it...not with the heat from his body and the kisses on her neck...there would be no telling what would happen. She had to get out of this situation. Now!

But she could not move. It was as though someone else owned her body and had rendered it useless, to her because of their control. His control. What an analogy, she laughed silently. Yea, Elliot owns me. He does. He's owned me for a long time. There is no control unless he gives it to me.

"That night...after the bar, when I came by your place...I told you to tell me something...you never did..." His breath hit the back of her neck, gently blowing her hair, with each word, causing dangerous bursts of fire to wrap around her body and soul. She twisted her head from side to side, a vain attempt to release some of the tension, as he continued. "I told you to tell me you don't feel this, too. This thing. This whatever it is between us." She saw his right hand leave the counter and she knew everything she felt was going to come crashing into the both of them. His rough hand gently pushed the hair back from her neck as his lips touched where his fingers of fire had just trailed. "Tell me you don't feel it, too, Olivia. Tell me and I will leave you alone. Just tell me."

Not only could she not move, she could not speak. If her life depended on it, she could not have persuaded a word to come from her mouth.

"Tell me you don't feel it, Olivia, and I will never bother you again." His lips brushed her ear. "Just tell me."

The trembling of her body and the low moan that escaped against her will was her answer. The only answer she could give him. The only answer he required. In it he felt and heard everything he needed, everything he wanted, everything that was not his. "Elliot...El...we..can't...oh, El..." The words choked in her throat.

The laughter floating from the basement and the creak of the stairs forced him to pull apart. Elliot opened the refrigerator and was pulling out the cheesecake Kathy had made for dessert, as Liv stood in her same position, washing one of the pots that had been soaking. The scene gave the appearance of being perfectly innocent. Dean Porter's finely honed intuition told him otherwise.

- - - - - - - - -

Kathy had insisted that Elliot stoke up the fireplace. So, the four of the them were in the living room around the fire, eating cheesecake, drinking wine and talking. Elliot and Kathy were on the couch which sat perpendicular to the fireplace with Elliot closest to the fire. Dean was sitting on the love seat that faced the fireplace and Olivia was in the recliner angled toward the fireplace and across from the couch, directly across from Elliot.

"Dean, where are you from? Do I hear a touch of Brooklyn?" Kathy asked.

"You're good. Born and bred. Until college."

"Oh? Where did you go to school?"

"Boston College, undergrad degree in business."

"How'd you end up there? That's pretty prestigious."

"My widowed grand-aunt lived in Boston and offered to pay for my education if I would live with her and help out around the house. She never had children. My parents could never have afforded it."

"You were lucky to have someone that could do that for you. So, how did you decide to you wanted to be in the FBI?"

"Some agents were on campus for a career seminar. After talking with them, I decided to apply and as they say, the rest is history."

Olivia and Elliot sat quietly watching and listening to Kathy and Dean talk. Well, Olivia was watching and listening to them. Elliot was watching Olivia...how the fire created shadows and lights that danced across her beautiful face...how the flames reflected in her eyes making them shine and sparkle. He could look at her all night. He thought how her real beauty was in her kindness, her big heart, her desire to help others. These things only enhanced her stunning outward beauty. She must have felt him watching, because her eyes caught his and her lips lifted in a slow smile, until it was the kind of smile he could not remember her smiling for him in a very long. A full smile, showing the row of her beautiful, straight, white teeth. The smile he loved. A complete smile...for him.

"Elliot, would you mind pouring some more wine for everyone? Our glasses are almost empty." Kathy was holding up her wine glass as she glanced over at him.

"Sure." He got up and found the wine bottle, filling first Kathy's glass, then Dean's. When Olivia offered her glass up, he reached to steady it, his fingers overlapping hers. His gaze held hers as he poured the wine. There was no mistaking the emotion in that gaze. It was just a few seconds that their fingers touched, just a few seconds that their eyes locked. But it was more than enough time for Dean to notice and more than enough time to reinforce his determination to find out about the case from last night. He looked over at Kathy, who had a frown of puzzlement on her face, and realized she had noticed, too.

"So, Elliot...when did you find time to hang all the Christmas lights outside?" Olivia asked, trying to break the awkwardness that suddenly seem to fill the room.

"Oh, I..." He began, but was interrupted by Kathy.

"He didn't put them up. He's never home. You should know that." The tone in her voice and the look on her face told Olivia that her last statement had underlying meaning. "Dickie and some of his friends put the lights up."

"Oh. Well...they are quite festive. Tell Dickie I said he did a good job on them." She took a big swallow of wine. Sometimes being a detective had a downside. You always knew what people really meant, no matter what they said.

Olivia moved to sit on the love seat by Dean because she was getting too warm near the fire. Or it may have been the wine, or Kathy's lightly cloaked accusation, or Elliot's touch, but whatever it was she need some relief. Dean stretched his arm over the cushion behind her, letting his hand barely rest on her shoulder. He kissed her quickly on her temple.

Elliot gripped his wine glass tighter and tried to take a deep breath. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the couch for a minute. The thought of Dean Porter, Special-Agent-in-Charge, FBI, touching Olivia was enough to cause him to teeter on the edge of insanity, but watching him touch her and kiss her right here in his own living room...well, it was going to push him over that edge.

Olivia pulled the sleeves of her sweater half way up to her elbows and as the cooler air hit her arms, she sighed in relief. She set her wine glass on the end table to her left, putting her right hand on Dean's thigh and her left one resting on the cushion of the love seat. Seconds later, she felt Dean sit up quickly, taking her right wrist in his hands.

"Olivia? What happened to your wrists?" Reaching for her wrists, his voice was full of concern as he gently turned them over, taking in the stain of purple, green and black that surrounded her wrists and extended to her forearms in a couple of places.

Elliot opened his eyes and sat up, looking at them. She tried to pull away, pull her sleeves back down to cover them, but his grip was firm. "It's nothing." Her heart clenching with fear at the thought of Elliot's reaction when he realized what he had done, began to pound so hard, she was afraid Dean would hear it.

From the corner of her eye, she knew Elliot and Kathy were intently watching them, as Dean surveyed the injuries she had unwittingly uncovered. Kathy was curious as to how she got them, but figured it must have been in the line of duty.

"Those are the imprints of someone's fingers. Who did this, Olivia? What happened?" Fury replaced the concern on his face and in his voice, as he demanded an answer.

"It was nothing." She tried to sound assuring, but failed, as she finally pulled away and put her sleeves back over the only tangible evidence of Elliot's meltdown yesterday. All the other evidence was hidden deep within her psyche, silently inflicting wounds upon her.

When she looked at Kathy, she smiled slightly at Olivia, as if she were sorry something so bad had happened that she did not want to or could not talk about. That bothered her for some reason. But when she looked at Elliot, she saw his face was not only absent of any blood flow, it was completely ashen. The alarm that rose up within her at his appearance, was immediate and brought with it an unyielding terror to her heart.

In the instant it took for Elliot to realize those were his fingers imprinted upon Olivia's wrist, all the emotions that he had held within him for so long, some maybe as long as eight years, violently collided with one another. All the anguish, rage, desire, confusion, all the despair, jealousy, love and guilt...especially the guilt that he had put those marks, those bruises, those purple stains on Olivia...all of these emotions collided with such a force within him he could no longer overcome them, tame them or hold them at bay.

He realized his struggle was over, the battle lost. It was as though his body had ceased to remember its function. His lungs would or could not breathe, take in the air necessary sustain his life. Instead of circulating in his body, his blood had all rushed to his head, threatening to make him pass out from dizziness. His eyes would not focus as his vision blurred and walls of black began their slow descent upon him. Lastly, the pain he had held in his heart for so long, burst forth with unmitigated violence from it's tightly held confines, sending sharp, piercing daggers throughout his chest. The pain was crushing, unbearable, excruciating. As he gripped his chest and fell to the floor, his last conscious thought was that he deserved this punishment his body was exacting upon him. He deserved it. It was his just reward.

- - - - - - - - - -

A/N: OMGoodness!! Is this the end for Elliot? The author knows...but she determined to maintain her secret...until the next chapter anyway! Please let me know what you think...your favorite parts, what you didn't like (Her left eyebrow cocked. "There's a part you don't like?"), etc. I do appreciate the pointers and the fantastic reviews!! Hope you all had a Merry CHRISTmas!! " ) Bensler

bloodymary 24: The reason all the chapter names start with 'R'... there is an author that I like...cannot remember her name...but all of her books do this and I thought it was kind of neat. Also SVU always names their episodes with one word that is mentioned somewhere in the story dialogue.