Chapter 14

Ginny held Harry's hand as Sirius Black sat down next to him. Luna, Hermione stood behind him while Neville sat between him and Sirius. He was sitting back and a little off to the side, but Neville was ready, nevertheless, to jump to Harry's defence if needed. The adults were amused but impressed at the show of support for Harry.

"Harry," Sirius began, "I need to know what you're thinking right now. I need to know that you're going to listen to me. I want to you understand that what I'm telling you is the truth…" he looked at Harry's expression, which was blank. He wasn't going to give anything away until he'd heard everything.

Harry sighed. "I already told you what I was thinking. You are the vilest of bastards because a-you killed my parents or b—you sent me away to the Dursley's to be raised by them. Either way, it's going to take a lot of convincing on your part for me to even tolerate being around you. From where I sit, I can't imagine there's anything you can tell me to make me change my mind."

Sirius's face fell. "Then maybe I shouldn't try."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Harry," Ginny said gently, squeezing his hand. Harry looked at Ginny as she smiled encouragingly.

Sirius cleared his throat. "When Voldemort killed your parents, the Order knew that someone had betrayed them," he hesitated. "And you. Voldemort disappeared and you were alive. What they did know was someone had betrayed them. Since I was the secret keeper, naturally they thought it was me. But what they didn't know was, in order to protect them; I transferred the secret to someone else."

Sirius paused and looked at Moody and Hagrid. He shook his head. "But the person I'd passed the responsibility too was the one who was really working for Voldemort and he betrayed you and set me up. I took the responsibility for their deaths because if I hadn't let him become the secret keeper, they would still be alive. You were betrayed by another; a man we all thought was our friend."

Sirius was surprised that Harry didn't look impressed. He stammered, "It was Peter Pettigrew."

Harry looked at him and shrugged. "It was you," he said.

Whatever Sirius Black thought Harry was going to say, that wasn't it. He was looking for forgiveness and Harry refused. He hung his head and began weeping. "You're right, Harry," he said. "It was me." He wiped the tears from his eyes. "I didn't know, I swear to you."

"You only gave the responsibility to Pettigrew because you wanted to save your own skin. I have no sympathy for you. Piss off." Harry stood up and walked farther into the forest alone.

What the hell did they expect? he thought angrily.

He heard a noise behind him. Expecting to see Ginny he was surprised to find Neville walking up to him

"Neville, I…"

"Shut up, Harry," he said. "You know what, you're an idiot. Everyone knows that Voldemort killed your parents. Poor fucking you. Do you know what he did to my parents? He drove them insane with the Cruciatus curse. They're both sitting in St Mungo's with not a clue who they are or who I am. I feel bad for you, Harry, I really do, but you're not the only one who 's suffered.

"I think that Moody and Dumbledore screwed up with you; you should have been exposed to who you really are, but believe it or not they thought they were doing the right thing. They tried to protect you. I know that Professor Moody thought you had somehow absorbed Voldemort's powers and thought you would become the next evil dark lord. That's still a possibility, you know.

"I don't believe it; I think that you really are the chosen one because it sure as hell ain't me. Now you have to decide what you want to do. Do you want to sit around the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself because, 'oh, poor me, I'm an orphan and I was raised by assholes', or are you going to man up and fulfill your destiny?"

Harry was so shocked at Neville's tone that he was unable to move or speak. Is that what they thought? Am I the chosen one? What is my destiny? He wanted to say all that out loud, but he was too stunned.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Potter, and realize you have one job to do," Neville said, a little softer.

"I, uh, what?" he asked. "What am I supposed to do?"

Neville took a deep breath and got very close to Harry's face. "You know. Think about it. If Voldemort really is back, and I believe his is. It's got to be you."

"It's got to be me, what?" he asked.

"You're the one, Harry. You must kill Voldemort. You know that. I think there's a little piece of Voldemort inside you that makes you have the dark thoughts; but he's protecting himself, not you. Voldemort knows who you are and he's going to do everything in his power to stop you. He makes you feel good, and he makes you feel bad. He makes you question your friends and makes you want to kill them. I understand this, Harry, because believe it or not, I've been there myself. There was a time when I knew I was possessed like you. I had dark thoughts and actually thought about killing my Gran and my parents. But they didn't last because I fought it. Nobody knows that about me. I hid it for a long time. But when I saw you I recognized the same look.

"Oh, he's there inside you, all right. And the only way you can rid yourself of this demon is to do what you were meant to do."

Harry looked at Neville. "But what about the feelings I have that aren't dark? There's a good part of all of this. I can't explain it, but sometimes I feel safe and warm. Who is that?"

Neville considered that for a moment. "Well, maybe it's your mum. She saved you from the killing curse, so I think she's with you too. Not a very large part, and Voldemort is much more powerful, but if you resist him and you have friends that will help you, I think your mum's going to get much stronger." He shrugged. "But that's a theory and I can't prove it, of course. Are the good feelings more frequent now?"

He nodded and raised his head in recognition. "Yes! Ever since Ginny started talking to me."

Neville smiled. "That makes sense to me. Your protection or your mum, whatever it is know you need all the help you can get. You need us to help you."

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed. "I believe you're right. Mum's influence is growing stronger and Voldemort is trying harder. What can I do, Neville?"

"You know what you need to do, Harry. You've got to kill the bastard."