A/N: The image of Hades as a father…I think it's quite cute!

Crimson Fuchsia: Artemis will turn up more as the story goes on. Anyway, the opportunity of cutesiness and annoying Hades was too good to pass up! And as for setting Hades on people… I know it wouldn't be a bad thing; I know I wouldn't be complaining, but that is precisely my point. It's just scary for people who aren't complete leches like the rest of us.

Bevin: Researched all the stuff and already had the kid's name picked out before I wrote this, but it's not Zagreus. Too squicky for my liking. It's one of the others you'd mentioned. And glad you like this! Your fic 'Prom Night' is one of the best Disney fics I've read!

Slinky Avenger: I know I'm evil. It's part of my charm. Keep reading!

VMorticia: There are a few mentions of Seph having kids, but Zagreus was fathered by Zeus, so not doing that one.

Hades: (still in complete shock)

Melora: No cynical commentary. Can we get a witness?

Hades: …Has anyone ever told you you're an insane ranting perverted wench?

Melora: Yes.

Hades: Ok. Just wanted to check…

Disclaimer: If you don't know by now what I own and don't own…well, idiot is the word that springs to mind.

/.../ denotes thoughts

I Won't Say It: Part 14

Ok.

Right.

Wonderful.

At least it explained the cravings.

But a baby…That was a new one.

There was no second-guessing Artemis's senses. The goddess of the hunt also protected expectant women, hence the ability to sense pregnancies.

A baby though. A little god or goddess…

Persephone lay with her head resting in Artemis's lap. The powerful green goddess had refused to leave her if she was sick, and especially not now.

She had no intention of revealing her goddaughter's secret, but the changing shape of her body might do it for her if she didn't confess to Demeter. And soon.

'Seph…you will have to tell your momma sooner or later. You can't just hide something like this.'

The goddess of rebirth raised her head to look up at her godmother. 'I know, but…if I tell her, then I'll have to tell her about Hades and how I returned to the Underworld. Mom'll try to make it so I can't see him again and…'

She sighed and rested her swirling head.

'I won't say anything until you're ready, little one. But you'll need help with this. And since she's going to be a grandmother, I doubt Demeter will be too angry.'

Persephone grinned despite her nausea. 'True. Won't stop her from trying to kill Hades though.'

Her godmother returned the smile. The goddess of the plants was the classic mother-in-law. She doubted Demeter would let a little thing like immortality, or the fact Hades was her son-in-law stop her from torturing him.

She rubbed Persephone's back, still finding it hard to believe that just under the goddess's heart and ribs, a new god or goddess was being formed. The child of the Lord of the Dead and the goddess of rebirth…

A baby. A little baby of her own.

Her son or daughter.

Hades's son or daughter. This baby was a part of him and her.

She was going to be a mommy.

The remaining four months couldn't come fast enough.

Thoughts (if any) of impending fatherhood were the last things on Hades's mind as he yanked hard on Cerberus's three leashes. Responsibility of walking the giant mutt had fallen on him since Pain and Panic were still trying to make their heads look slightly less like pieces of abstract art.

And, like all dogs, Cerberus loved his walkies.

'Slow down already, c'mon! Sheesh, find a tree or something…'

The Lord of the Dead was being dragged along on his back as the giant black guard dog scampered around the banks of the Styx, oblivious to Hades's irritated bellows.

'Heel' was a command meant for lesser dogs.

At least until his middle head found something interesting to eat.

'Drop it…I said drop it! Whaddya got there anyway? Drop it already!'

Hades's legendarily short patience was starting to wear exceedingly thin.

For a demon-spawned dog from hell's own brimstone pits, Cerberus was disturbingly puppy-like. From the drooling over everything, eating the garbage and having little accidents all over the place perspective at least. And he rolled over at the slightest hint that he would get his stomach scratched.

/Oy. I could've had a nice three-headed goldfish, but noooo…/

'Hades! Do you have no control over that fleabag of yours?'

Great. Just great. Now the Fates had to turn up. Hades quickly assumed the more charming persona the Daughters of Darkness were used to seeing.

'Ah, ladies. I apologise for the dog, he's a little, how should I put it…err…rambunctious, shall we say.'

He turned on Cerberus, immediately dropping the charm.

'DROP IT ALREADY! C'mon, what is it? Whaddya got?'

The overgrown guard dog realised that master Hades was serious about giving up the treat. The first head reluctantly spat its new toy onto the ground in front of Hades, liberally coated in drool.

'What is it? What is…it's a…yeeuch. It's an eyeball.'

The grey and blue god shuddered slightly. The only ones who could lose a working eyeball down here were the Fates. Considering the last few times they had teamed up, he wasn't particularly keen on getting them mad.

He grabbed a handful of his robes and started trying to clean the drool off. He would've succeeded had the eyeball not suddenly gleamed and floated five feet off the ground. It did this periodically, but the three sisters were used to it.

They weren't keen on letting Hades See anything in it at present, not if what they had Seen a few minutes ago was anything to go by.

An image was shimmering inside the floating sphere. Two figures were talking to each other, one instantly recognisable to the Lord of the Dead as his slightly jaded better half. The other wasn't as familiar, but it looked like Artemis, goddess of the Wild Things.

Maybe it was just the light, or more accurately, lack of light, but Persephone didn't look as cynical as normal. If anything, she looked like she'd been floored, and her normally glowing red skin had a faintly greenish cast to it.

'…I won't say anything until you're ready, little one. But you'll need help with this. And since she's going to be a grandmother, I doubt Demeter will be too angry…'

The eye stopped hovering and plopped back into Hades's outstretched hands. Lachesis instantly grabbed it away from him and jammed it into her hollow eye socket. 'Whoops. You weren't supposed to see that.'

Not one to obviously dig for information, Hades shrugged.

'Fine, fine. Just um, one little question; that was Seph, wasn't it? With Artemis? Looking somewhat less than perky?'

Clotho waved a bony finger at him and snatched the eye from her older sister, shoving it into her own eye socket and glaring at Hades. 'Oh no, you don't. We're not falling for that again.'

'Well…' Atropos scrutinised the god closely. Well, as closely as you can get, what with having no actual eyes.

'Sister?'

'Provided you'll keep that mutt locked up of course…' The youngest Fate's offer hung in the air.

'Hey. I can deal with that. Sit already!' A quick yank on the three leashes and Cerberus's three heads impacted heavily on the ground, tail still wagging.

'He's in the doghouse for, like, ever. Boom. Done. Now, Seph. And don't mess around.'

'All right.' Lachesis took the eyeball away from Clotho and stepped forward. 'That little interlude happened a few hours ago on Olympus. And yes, that was your dear wife you saw.'

A little hint of jealousy crept into her voice. She had always had a bit of a crush on Hades…

'Hey, 'least she ain't bored up there without…whoa whoa whoa, wait a sec. Demeter's gonna be a grandmother? How's that work out…?'

Hades trailed off into deeply uncharacteristic silence, his mind racing under the flames.

Demeter was going to be a grandmother. Seph was her only child. That meant…

No way.
Impossible.
Couldn't happen.

Could happen.
Had happened.
Oh boy.

The Lord of the Dead disappeared in a rush of blue flames.

Atropos glanced at the still smoking spot. 'He took that better than we saw.'

Artemis was right. She had to tell her mother. Demeter would undoubtedly yell and sulk and cry, but it wouldn't change anything. She was pregnant and she was going to have this baby, no matter how much the other gods disapproved.

Right now, she was too busy seeing her lunch in full Greco-colour rerun, her godmother holding her hair away from her face.

The greenish pallor still covering her cheeks, Persephone pushed the basin away, trying to ignore the icky taste in her mouth.

During the last bout, she had made up her mind. As soon as she could stand up properly, she would go with Artemis and tell her parents and Zeus. That would just leave…

Hades.

Telling him was going to be interesting.

The most likely place the goddess of rebirth would be was as near to a basin as possible. All signs pointed towards her bedroom.

Hades appeared dead centre of the room. And got confronted with a vine covered spear as soon as the smoke cleared.

'Hey! I come in peace babe. Just point that thing somewhere else.'

Artemis didn't budge. 'You are lucky I didn't run you through the moment you appeared.'

'Like you'd hurt the daddy in the equation?'

The goddess's snarl dropped. 'You know?'

Hades rolled his eyes. 'Fate-mail. Look, I didn't come here to trade barbs; I wanna know if it's true. And I wanna know that from Seph. NOW!'

''Mis, it's OK.'

Both deities looked towards the sound of the voice. Persephone had finally regained some control over her legs and had managed to stumble out from her bathroom at the sound of the voices.

Acting on instinct, the Lord of the Dead pulled the slender goddess into his arms, noting how much the nausea was sapping her strength. Glad for a solid support, the goddess of rebirth sank into the embrace, nodding at Artemis to leave for a while.

The world lurched slightly as Hades sat down on the edge of the bed and let her curl up against him. The smell of smoke wafted around her, calming her rebellious stomach.

'Babe?'

'You don't need to ask.'

'It's true then.' The expression on his face was unreadable.

'Yeah. I'm…pregnant. About a month so far, I think.'

Hades was silent for a while as he held his wife steady.

'So…anyone else know?'

'Just Artemis. She's promised not to say anything.'

He looked down at her still flat stomach and rubbed it tentatively. Hard to believe that through all that skin and muscle, was a kid.

His kid.

The most gorgeous goddess on Earth was having his baby.

His son or daughter.

He was going to be a father.

A little smirk crept over his face. The Lord of the Dead was gonna be a daddy.

Only one reaction seemed to fit the situation.

Ten miles of the sky around Olympus seemed to explode into flames.

Followed immediately by a whoop of sheer ecstasy.

TBC

Hades (Still out cold)

Melora: Great. Supposed to be the God of the Dead and he's fainted like a Girl Guide.

Hades: (No response)

Melora: Least it's nice and quiet for a while.

(Quiet, all pervading peace.)

Melora: Anyone got smelling salts? This is boring.