A/N: Alright, I really need you guys to give your opinion here. Should Ben leave MI6, return to SAS, rejoin K Unit, and enlist their help, do all that but not enlist their help and then have MI6 turn K Unit against him, stay with MI6 but still enlist K Unit's help, or stay with MI6 and not contact K Unit at all? There is a poll up on my profile. PLEASE VOTE! I NEED INPUT! I CAN'T DECIDE! *puppy eyes* A virtual cookie to everyone who votes!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Title: Haunted (3rd in 'T is for Treason' Arc)

Author: Glissoning Raven

Song: It's All Over

Artist: Three Days Grace

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Angst

Rating: T (?)

Note: Sequel to 'Duty' and third in the 'T is for Treason' arc, which is an arc centered around Ben. The italics are the flashbacks. No slash, only friendship.

WARNING: Major depression, references to alcohol, and minor swearing.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The hidden bell above the door to Jake's Computer Store rang gently as Ben entered. Jake himself popped up from behind the counter to see who it was.

"Hello, welcome to…" the young man trailed off, his cheerful demeanor suddenly gone as he saw who it was, or at least who he thought it was.

"Hello, Jake," Ben greeted coolly.

Jake gulped.

"Hey, Marcus," he said nervously.

Being a spy really did have its perks. You picked up so many contacts and identities along the way, though sometimes it was hard to keep them all straight.

"You still owe me that favor from Paraguay," Ben growled.

Jake nodded slowly.

"I've come to collect," Ben said, placing the flash drive on the counter. "All you have to do is decrypt this drive. You have twelve hours."

Your bottles' almost empty
You know this can't go on
Because of you my mind is always racing
The needles' breaking your skin
The scar is sinking in
And now your trip begins but
It's all over for
It's all over for

Truth. That's what Alex had died for; the truth, a tiny little piece of plastic that was supposed to prove his innocence, prove the truth about MI6. That little flash drive was supposed to hold all of MI6's dirty little secrets. If it did, it could potentially bring them down. That was a sobering thought. Could one little piece of plastic really be so dangerous? It came from Alex, so the answer was probably 'yes'.

Ben sat on his couch, staring off into nothing. The drive had been his partner's dying gift. Alex had thought he had enough on MI6 to prove his innocence and do some damage. Maybe they believed it too. Maybe that's why they took him out. But what could he have gotten on them that was so dirty? What ever it was, all the pieces formed a trail that lead to only one place; the truth.

The truth: an almost foreign concept to someone like him. He was a spy. His entire life was built around lies and deception. Truth was nearly nonexistent in his world. There were only half-truths, lies of omission, and outright boldfaced lies. There was no such thing as pure truth. Yet, somehow, through all the shadows, deceit, and spy games, Alex had somehow managed to dig up some small sliver of truth from amongst the lies and, if the word of a rouge spy was anything to go by, he had uncovered a particularly dangerous sliver.

You
For you
When you're on the edge and falling off
It's all over for you
For you
When you're on the edge and falling off
It's all over

Ben eyed the mostly empty bottle of beer that sat just six inches away. God, he had not signed up for this. His life was supposed to be simple. He was supposed to get a mission, complete it, and move on to his next assignment. He wasn't supposed to get caught up in all this taking down the government crap. He reached over and snagged the bottle, finishing off the contents in a few short gulps.

He couldn't help but remember when he had first met Alex at Brecon Beacons. Wolf and the others had treated him like crap. As much as he was ashamed to admit it, even Ben had called him double-oh-nothing a time or two. They had done everything they could to make his life a living hell. How Alex had ever trusted him again, Ben never had been able to figure that out. He hadn't deserved Alex's trust.

His mind flashed back to the events of Dragon Nine when he had murdered Alex's godfather right in front of him and taken a bullet for him. He hadn't known it was Alex's godfather at the time, but when he found out he was sure Alex would never forgive him. Alex had been a little mad, but not for the reasons Ben had imagined. Apparently, Ash had murdered Alex's parents and Alex had wanted to kill him himself.

Then, of course, there was their first mission as an official team.

I know what runs through your blood
You do this all in vain
Because of you my mind is always racing
And it gets under my skin
To see you giving in
And now your trip begins but
It's all over for
It's all over for

Bang!

"Alex!"Ben cried, turning just in time to catch his partner as he stumbled, a red stain blossoming across his stomach.

"Ben get out of here, leave me!"Alex insisted, trying to push him away.

"No! I am not leaving you, damn it!"Ben yelled, hoisting the weakening boy onto his back and beginning to run once more.

"I'm just slowing you down! Leave me! Get out while you still can!"Alex gasped out.

"Shut up, Al! I am not leaving you! End of discussion!"Ben snapped.

"Ben…"Alex wheezed as he began coughing up blood.

"Hold on, Alex! Just hold on! It's only another kilometer! Hang on!"Ben called encouragement to his dying partner.

"Leave…me…"Alex choked out, blood staining his pale lips.

"Damn it, Rider! Don't you dare die on me! Jones will have my head if I lose you!"Ben growled.

Alex had barely made it out alive that time. Ben had come so close to failing him. He had been in the hospital for three weeks after that incident. Yet, after all that, Alex had still trusted him. Hell, he seemed to trust him more after that.

Ben went to take another swig from the bottle, but realized that it was empty. Cursing, he decided he needed something stronger. He lurched to his feet and stumbled into the kitchen. He dug through the kitchen cupboards, coming up with an unopened bottle of vodka. It had been a gift from Wolf for his birthday. He usually didn't drink this strong of liquor, but if there was any time to start it was now. The drunken spy stumbled his way back to the couch, bottle in hand.

You
For you
When you're on the edge and falling off
It's all over for you
For you
When you're on the edge and falling off
It's all over

He remembered when Alex had showed up on his doorstep after one of his solo missions.

"Hey Ben," Alex smiled weakly.

"Alex, what happened to you?" Ben demanded, taking in the sight of his arm in a sling and all the cuts and bruises.

Alex laughed sheepishly, though his laugh trailed off painfully.

"I kinda pissed off a few Russian mobsters. You know, the usual."

"Shouldn't you be in the hospital?"Ben asked, concerned.

Alex shook his head stiffly.

"Nah, they said I could go home as long as I take it easy for a couple of weeks. The problem is, well, Jack. I just…I know it really hurts her to see me like this, so I was wondering if I could crash here for a week or two until the worst of it heals, if that's okay," he asked tentatively.

"Um, yeah, sure, of course. Come in," Ben said, opening the door wider.

That had been the beginning of their arrangement. Whenever the injuries were too bad, Alex would stay with Ben until the worst of them were healed.

On that particular occasion, Ben had discovered Alex's nightmares for the first time. After being woken up by Alex's screams in the middle of the night, Ben had awkwardly tried to shake him awake, only to get punched for his troubles. It had taken several more nights of Alex suffering on his own before Ben had plucked up the courage to try again.

When he thought of those first few nights when he had let Alex suffer alone, he couldn't help but feel a sense of failure. He had failed his partner when he had needed him. Yet, for some reason, Alex never held it against him.

Ben took another swig of vodka, only to find the bottle mysteriously half empty already.

And now you're dead inside
Still you wonder why
It's all over
And now you're dead inside
Still you wonder why
It's all over

Ben looked down at the partially empty vodka bottle in his hand. He was amazed at how good this stuff tasted. Last time he had tasted it, it had tasted nasty. Then again, he had been sober last time. That could make a difference. He took another swig as the room tilted around him.

He sprawled back across the couch and stared up at the ceiling, letting the bottle dangle loosely from his hand.

He had failed his partner so many times. Over and over again he had let him down. So many broken promises hung between them. How had Alex ever forgiven him? How had Alex ever trusted him?

He remembered his promise to Alex all those years ago.

"I'll always be here, you know that."

But that too was a lie. Ben hadn't been there for him when Alex had needed him most. Ben hadn't believed in him and that disbelief had cost Alex his life.

He had made a promise to Jack.

"Everything's going to be alright."

That was a lie too. Everything wasn't going to be alright. Alex was dead, murdered by their own government right in front of Ben. With Alex gone, there was no one to protect Jack from Alex's old enemies but Ben and he didn't know if he could do because, after all, he failed everyone he ever cared about.

Ben raised the bottle to his lips again, taking another swallow of the fiery liquid. He just wanted to forget everything. He felt the last few drops of liquor pass his lips. Ben held up the bottle and stared at it for a moment before letting it drop to the floor as he slid into unconsciousness.

And now you're dead inside
Still you wonder why
When you're on the edge and falling off
It's all over for (You, for you)
And now you're dead inside
Still you wonder why

When Ben finally regained consciousness, it was eight thirty in the evening and he had a splitting headache. A glass of water, two Advil, and two incidents of tripping over discarded liquor bottles later he finally remember what exactly put him in such a horrendous state. Ah, the vodka, nasty stuff. He swore never to drink vodka ever again.

Looking at the clock, he realized that Jake's twelve hour deadline was fast approaching and if he didn't leave now he would never make it to the shop in time. Ben reluctantly downed another Advil, grabbed his jacket and keys, tucked his gun into his waste band, and hurried out the door.

Nearly an hour later found him stepping stiffly out of a cab in front of Jake's Computer Store. He paid the cab driver and entered the store, a concealed bell above the door announcing his arrival.

Jake looked up from where he was working at the counter, looking slightly panicked when he saw who it was.

"Well," Ben asked gruffly. "Do you have it?"

Jake gulped as he brought the drive out onto the counter.

"Look man, I tried everything, I really did. But whoever you got this from, man, they're super high tech. I couldn't even penetrate the first firewall," Jake said nervously. "I did everything I could, I swear, but, whatever you're into man, my advice is to leave it be. Whoever encrypted this has got to be way out of your league…"

Ben cut him off with a growl as he snatched the drive off the counter. He suddenly lunged at Jake and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him half over the counter.

"I was never here, understand?" Ben snarled.

Jake nodded vigorously, too frightened to speak.

"Speak a word about what has happened and I will find out and I will kill you," Ben promised.

Jake gulped, nodding shakily. Ben dropped him and turned and stalked out of store, leaving the door slam behind him and a very shaken Jake draped over the counter.

When you're on the edge and falling off
It's all over for (You, for you)
And now you're dead inside
Still you wonder why

As Ben entered his apartment he allowed the door to slam behind him. The weary spy leaned back against the door and allowed himself to slid down into a sitting position. He had failed again. Alex had trusted him to find the truth hidden on the drive, the truth that he had died for, and he had failed. What was he supposed to do now? After all this, how was he supposed to find the truth?

It's all over

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

A/N: So, one of the best hackers in the city can't crack the drive. Any predictions as to how Ben might get it unencrypted?

Also, I know this may have been a little out of character for Ben, but he is guilt ridden and grieving and his entire world has been turned upside down. It is impossible to know what a person would do under these circumstances.

NEXT IN THE 'T IS FOR TREASON' ARC: Jones begins to get suspicious and an old friend makes an unexpected offer.