I own none of the characters in this chapter; they belong to DC and Marvel respectively.
Happy Halloween
oxoxoxo
The Joker
(A man in a purple suit with green hair and white skin laughs as he pulls a revolver.)
Gotham City's most infamous criminal, and archenemy to Batman.
(The Joker throws a canister of Joker Gas at a group of police officers, laughing as they cough and die.)
The Green Goblin
(A man in green armour and fanged mask throws an orange sphere.)
Mad menace of Manhattan, and enemy to Spidrman.
(Green Goblin soars in on his glider, dropping Pumpkin Bombs as he goes.)
WHO
IS
DEADLIEST?
To find out, our world class fighters are testing fiction's greatest weapons.
Using twenty first centure science, we'll see what happens when the two warriors go toe to toe.
No rules. No safety. No mercy.
It's a duel to the death to decide who is...
THE DEADLIEST WARRIOR!
oxoxoxo
In our high tech fight club, we've assembled a group of doctors, scientists, and insane criminals all to answer one question on Halloween night. If the Joker fought the Green Goblin, which criminal mastermind would come out on top?
The Joker: Gotham's mad clown, wanting to make the entire world laugh, as they all die horribly
Series: Batman
Height: 6'
Weight: 150lbs
Identity: Unknown
Vs
Green Goblin: An experiment meant to make him stronger drove him mad, now he terrorizes New York.
Series: Spiderman
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 170lbs
Identity: Norman Osborne
A short young man in a blue greatcoat and general's hat on a white horse looked down to examine a torso with a white face.
ER doctor and historian DeadAliveManiac will tell whether the gruesome injuries are lethal or simply horrible.
DAM picked a cavalry sabre off a nearby table before speaking. "We've got insane people as both our combatants and our experts today," he said strapping the sabre to his belt "the injuries are going to be gruesome at best."
Another young man, this one taller with ruined, bloody clothes and a bestial mask typed at a computer before putting on clawed gloves.
Computer specialist Scarecrow'sMainFan will run the battle using data collected in tests.
"These two warriors are psychopaths," said Scarecrow, smiling and revealing sharp fangs "They'll tear each other apart."
A third young man, this one dressed completely in black with a red and black cape and a white porcelain mask on half his face looked over a sensor.
Biomedical engineer Zivon96 will run the tests on these weapons of terror.
"When the combatants are as crazy as these ones are," said Zivon, strapping a rapier to his belt "The tests are going to be crazy, and the battle is going to be crazy."
A blonde woman in a red and black outfit with her face painted white giggles as she shuffles a deck of cards before throwing one at a target. Bull's-eye.
The closest person to the Joker, Harley Quinn knows more about him than almost anyone.
"Mister J's a tough one." Said Harley "It'll take more than a man in a stupid outfit to beat my pudin.' Except maybe Bats..."
Originally a simple criminal, the Joker's came to life when he fell into a vat of acid that gave him skin as white as a ghost, green hair, and red lips. Growing more insane by the day, he adopted the name "The Joker" to go with his new Appearance.
The Joker kills thorugh what he sees as 'fun and games,' theming his kills around jokes and carnival tricks with a lethal twist.
"My man is a criminal and a killer, through and through." Said Harley "Gobby won't know what hit 'im."
But what about the other side, the expert on the Green Goblin?
A man in a yellow goblin mask with a yellow cloak over his head looked over a Pumpkin Bomb with a grin.
The self-proclaimed inheritor of the Green Goblin's legacy, Hobgoblin has been using his technology to wreak havoc since he found it.
"Green Goblin knows how to kill better than a clown." Said Hobgoblin "that, and the man has the funding to make more than him."
Oscorp's CEO Norman Osborne's experiment to make himself stronger was a success, but its side effect drove him mad. Using his considerable wealth, Osborne made weapons: bombs, blades, and even a flying machine all themed around his new identity: the Green Goblin.
The Goblin reign of terror was created on massive scale destruction with high grade weapons designed for maximum slaughter.
Hobgoblin held up a Pumpkin Bomb. "This was his very favourite toy."
The Pumpkin Bomb
Diameter: 4"
Weight: 0.6kg
The Green Goblin's trademark weapon of terror.
"Goblin used these things to great extent," said Hobgoblin "just one can kill a whole crowd of people."
"From some of my research," said Zivon "these things kill more from the shockwave than from shrapnel."
"Not only that," Hobgoblin replied "But this thing generates a lot of heat, if the blast don't kill you, the burns will. I've seen one of these things incinerate two men, leaving only skeletons."
"Creepy." Muttered Scarecrow "Well we have a test for you and that bomb. We have three ballistics gel torsos, one of which is your primary target, with the white face and green hair. That's the one you want."
"They're all equipped with shock patches to tell whether or not the explosion was lethal on its own." Said Zivon.
"I'll kill them all." Said Hobgoblin, juggling the bomb.
The experts stood back from the testing grounds and Zivon gave the countdown. "On three, two, one, throw it!"
Hobgoblin hurled the bomb in the middle of the three dummies and ran. A second later, a fiery explosion engulfed all three targets.
"Whoa!" cried Zivon. He made his way over to the targets, the other experts behind him, and picked up the primary target. "Shock patch tripped, severe burns, he's double dead."
DAM looked down from his horse. "This also speaks to psychological warfare, when you see explosions like this, guys blasted and burned to death, and the damage caused, it'll interfere with the brain."
"Mr J won't be scared by your pretty lights and fireworks." Said Harley, hands on her hips.
"Maybe not like this, but Goblin had another way to deploy the bombs:" said Hobgoblin "From his glider."
To test the airborne Pumpkin Bombs, Hobgoblin will take to the air on the Goblin Glider.
Four targets will be set up to gage the accuracy of the bombing run.
"On three, two, one, go!"
Hobgoblin took to the air and dropped two bombs on the first target. Flying over the second target he flew too fast and over shot his mark, missing the target. The third target was just missed, enough to singe the target, but not blow it up. Fourth was a direct hit with both bombs, leaving nothing but ashes.
"The damage on the hits is severe," said DAM "but he also missed a few of them, and in the long run, that'll cost you."
"Goblin has a lot of these babies ready to go whenever he needs them." Argued Hobgoblin.
"Mister J has tricks up his sleeve to beat that," said Harley "and he doesn't have to worry about blowin' himself up."
The Joker will counter the Pumpkin Bombs with his own weapon of mass destruction:
Joker Gas
Size: variable
Weight: variable
Highly toxic, contorts facial muscles upon death
The Joker's terrifying trademark.
Harley was hopping with glee as she skipped into the studio with a gas tank. "This is what my pudin' uses on people he don't like." A good whiff o this stuff'll kill ya, and it does some funny thing with the muscles in your face, so when it kills you, it puts a big smile on your face, or makes your face into that picture o the screamin' guy. What's it called again?"
"The Scream?" asked Scarecrow.
"I'm gonna say yes."
"So we know the Joker Gas can kill from either inhalation or injection in liquid form," said Zivon "We know a needle of the stuff can kill you, but we have to see just how quickly it can fill up a room."
To test the Joker Gas, Harley will throw a grenade full of it into an enclosed room to see just how much it spreads, and how quickly. Two dummies will be placed in the room to see if they're caught in the gas.
"Harley, you ready?" called Zivon.
Harley nodded, giggling.
"On three, two - "
Harley didn't even wait for Zivon to finish, pulling the pin and tossing the grenade in the room, slamming the door behind it. A second later, the explosion was heard. Watching on the cameras, the crew saw the green gas quickly covering the heads of the dummies.
"I didn't even finish the countdown..." muttered Zivon.
Scarecrow shook his head, watching as the gas filled up the room. "It took only half a second for the gas to fill up the room. Those guys never stood a chance."
"Another second or so in there," said DAM, watching the video from his horse "and they'd be dead."
"With big smiles on their faces." Said Harley, appearing behind the hosts. "And I don't think the Jolly Green Goblin has a gas filter on that mask of his."
Hobgoblin said nothing, only glaring at Harley from behind his mask.
Both explosive weapons have terrified, but which do our experts believe is superior?
"The Pumpkin Bomb is tantamount to a grenade," said Scarecrow "its effects, while immediate, don't last very long. The Joker Gas on the other hand, can be spread out over a wide are, a tiny amount can be lethal, and it's long lasting, and the Joker is immune to it. Edge: Joker Gas."
For explosive weapons, the edge goes to the Joker.
But this battle of the psychos isn't over yet, both sides still have weapons to unveil.
The Joker comes armed to the teeth with an arsenal of deadly tricks:
Joker Gas
Razor Playing Cards
Revolver
And the Joy Buzzer
"When my pudin' kills the Goblin, it's gonna be hilarious." Harley laughed.
The goblin strikes back with his own arsenal of terror weapons:
The Pumpkin Bombs
Razor Bats
Goblin Glider
And the Shock Gloves
"Gobby's got a few surprises in store for this clown." Said Hobgoblin.
Both sides have already shown off their explosive weapons, now it's time for long range. The Joker will start by asking you to pick a card, any card.
Razor Edged Playing Cards
Length: 3.5"
Weight: under a pound
Material: cardstock and metal tips
A menacing magic trick.
"Pudin always carries a deck with him." Said Harley "The way he throws these things is just..."
"Insane?" supplied DAM.
"I was gonna say sexy, but that works too."
To test the Joker's killer card trick, Harley will toss cards at a target represented by a pig carcass, the closes substitute for real human flesh and bone.
Harley stood fifteen feet from the target, a deck of Razor Cards in her hand. She drew one card from the deck: the king of hearts. She showed the card to the hosts before flinging it at the target. The card flew through the air and embedded itself in the target's chest. Harley didn't waste any more time, flinging card after card after card, nearly all of them finding a mark on the target, until there was only one card left: the Joker. Harley kissed the card before lobbing it overhand directly into the target's head.
"Wow." Said Zivon "That's going to give me nightmares..."
DAM dismounted his horse for a look at the injuries. "There are two cards in the man's neck, each one would be an instant kill, and the one in the head might be able to kill if it hits hard enough. The rest aren't killing, but they are causing some severe lacerations. Enough of those can kill."
"Like I said, sexy." Said Harley.
Hobgoblin just laughed. "You think your little trick will take down the Goblin? He wears armour, and those little cards won't be able to touch him through it."
To test this, Harley will throw cards at a target wearing the Goblin's Kevlar and plastic chestplate and mask.
Harley picked a card out of the deck and lobbed it at the chestplate. It bounced right off. Undeterred, Harley tossed another, this one sticking in the unarmoured neck. "See, even with the armour, I can still kill 'im"
"Yeah, but that's a tiny target that's moving around, and possibly flying in the Goblin Glider." Said Hobgoblin "And I've got a weapon that might look a little familiar to Joker."
The Green Goblin will strike back with his own edged weapon:
Razor Bats
Length: 7"
Wight: 1-1.5lbs
Material: carbon steel
Two or three winged bats that cut through most anything.
Hobgoblin held two razor bats, one with two wings and one with three. "Goblin carries a lot of these with him, and they're sharper and heavier than something similar used by one of Joker's old friends."
To test the Razor Bats, Hobgoblin will throw two of each kind at a target 20 feet away. The target will be a ballistics gel torso with a purple suit.
Hobgoblin lobbed a two winged Bat at the target, sticking it right in the ribcage. He then took up a three winged Bat and threw it, cutting almost right through one of the torso's arms. Hobgoblin took up his second two winger and let it fly. The blade flew right passed the dummy. Hobgoblin growled as he threw his last Bat, nailing the dummy directly in the gut.
"Damn," said Zivon "It's like a multi-sided knife flying right at you."
DAM galloped back with the Bat that missed. "Aside from this one, they were all hits and did some decent damage." He said "The first one dropped a lung and has a really good chance to hit the heart and kill him, while the second one made that arm last one is the worst of them though, any gut shot is nasty, but when it hits the small intestine, it's lethal. He's gonna die."
"But he missed!" Said Harley "And those things were a lot slower than Pudin's cards!"
"But I did more damage." Said Hobgoblin "and you didn't do much through Gobby's armour, did you?"
Harley huffed.
With both weapons tested, our experts will debate which one was deadlier.
"I liked the bats personally." Said DAM "They might be less accurate, but they do a lot more when they hit, and as a doctor, I like what causes more trauma."
"I have to disagree." Said Zivon "With neither of them doing spectacularly well, I think this one's a wash. The Goblin did more damage, but his Bats are slower and give time for the Joker to get out of the way, whereas the Cards were faster, but didn't do much against the Goblin's armour."
"I have to agree with Zivon" said Scarecrow "Edge: even. The surprise and speed of the cards will counter the Bat's size and damage factor."
For long range weapons, the edge is even.
Now the battle will move into close quarters as both sides unveil their most shocking weapons. When it came to fighting up close and personal, the Green Goblin used a deadly combo of brute force and electricity:
Shock Gloves
Material: Kevlar and steel
Weight: 1lb each
Hobgoblin put on the gloves. "You'll notice there are metal plates on the knuckles and fingers of the gloves, each one's hooked up to an electrical generator, so a punch makes you feel like you got hit with a tazer. In other words: it hurts like a bitch."
"We're going to have to test both attacks of that weapon," said Zivon "the knuckle plates, and the electrical power."
To test the punching power of the knuckle plates, the team sets up a synthetic skull. Hobgoblin will attack the skull to see how long it takes to break it.
"Hobgoblin, you ready?"
"Ready!"
"On three, two, one, smash it!"
Hobgoblin brought his fits back and slammed it right into the temple of the skull. The experts winced as they saw the blood leaking out already, but it wasn't over yet. Hobgoblin drew back his fist and swung again, leaving a massive dent. "I think that's enough."
Scarecrow looked over the damage. "That's a big dent."
DAM nodded. "When you see a depressed skull fracture like that, the chance of a bleed in the brain jumps up astronomically, and that can kill."
"And we haven't even tested the shock yet." Said Hobgoblin, a little too excited.
To test the shocking power of the gloves, Hobgoblin will grab an electrical sensor which will tell our hosts if the shock can kill.
Hobgoblin grabbed the sensor with both hands and activated the gloves.
"Based on the numbers we're getting here," said Zivon "if you held someone for a good few seconds, the shock would be enough to kill, otherwise, it's a lot of pain, but it's not deadly."
"Add that to the punch to the face Goblin'll give to the Joker," said Hobgoblin "And things just got a lot more painful."
"Mister J can do more with his shocker." Harley huffed, hands on hips "His'll kill ya in one touch.
Joker fights back with a toy turned deadly:
The Joy Buzzer
Weight: under a pound
Material: plastic
Proving that pranks can kill
Harley waved cheerfully at the hosts, the joy buzzer on her hand. "Just one handshake can send someone to the mourgue." She said "Isn't it great?"
"... Sure..." said Zivon "Anyway, we have a test for that. Since there's no blunt force involved in this weapon, we've got the shock tester again. So whenever you're ready, make him laugh."
Harley walked up to the tester and said "Nice to meet'cha!" as she grabbed it.
Watching the monitors, the experts watched as the voltage climbed almost instantly to lethal levels. "Whoa." Said DAM "She wasn't kidding. That kind of thing will cause death by electrocution in under two seconds, might even cause a heart attack."
"You've gotta be kidding me." Said Hobgoblin "I don't know about you, but the Green Goblin doesn't shake hands with the people he kills, he just kills them."
"Hobgoblin does have a point." Said Scarecrow "And not only that, what if the Buzzer falls off?"
"The gloves have more options," said Zivon "and even if they do less with regards to electricity, they'll probably do more than the Joy Buzzer will."
For close range weapons, the edge goes to Green Goblin for the Shock Gloves
The battle is within striking distance, but each side still has one weapon left to test.
The Joker will fire first with his special weapon:
The Revolver
Length: 14"
Weight: 2.7lbs
Rounds: 6
Dealing death, six rounds at a time.
"My man carries at least three of these all the time." Said Harley "Usually one of them's just for fun, but he's a great shot with 'em."
"Well we've seen what kind of damage a bullet can do to a human body before, so we'll just have to see how accurate these things are." Said Zivon.
To test the accuracy of the Revolver, Harley will fire at three targets with one clip. The targets are the Goblin's mask, the Goblin's armoured chestplate, and a pumpkin.
"On three, two, one, FIRE!"
Harley fired her first shot at the mask, going right through the eye. Her second shot missed, but her third at the pumpkin hit. The third shot went right through the chestplate in the abdomen, but her fourth bounced right off the chest area. Undeterred, Harley put another round into the pumpkin and nailed the mask with her last. "Done."
DAM looked over everything from his vantage point. "Counting up all the successful hits, we have three kills, one mortal wound and a complete miss."
"Are you kidding me?" asked Hobgoblin "You're just bringing a gun? That didn't work for the Manhattan Police, and I'll be damned if it'll work for you!"
"Oh yeah?" said Harley "And just how are you going to beat it?"
Hobgoblin just smirked.
The Green Goblin has a terrifying answer to the Joker's revolver:
The Goblin Glider
Length: 4'
Wingspan: 10'
This mechanical monster strikes terror from the skies.
Hobgoblin was hovering on the glider as he spoke to the hosts. "This thing isn't just a transportation device, it's also a weapon." He stepped on a button and two jagged blades jutted from the front. "This is actually what killed the Goblin in the end."
"What kind of speed do you have on that thing?" asked Zivon.
"This baby can reach 80 miles an hour, easy. That's why Gobby wears the mask with goggles."
To test the power of the Goblin Glider, our experts have set up a gel torso. Hobgoblin will fly at the torso on the glider and hit it dead on with the blades.
"On three, two, one, ram it!"
Hobgoblin took to the skies and flew right at the target. He stomped on the button for the blades, making them emerge with an audible 'shing.' He flew right at the dummy, gaining speed as he did until he smashed into it, sending the top half of the dummy flying.
"Whoa!" cried DAM "I have to see this." DAM trotted over to the top half of the torso on his horse. He got off to get a better look at the damage "This damage is just unreal." He said "The ribs are smashed to pieces, punctured lungs, through the heart, tore apart the spine, no way he's still alive! He even cracked his skull on the fall!"
"And you've already seen that I can use the Pumpkin Bombs from this thing." Hobgoblin added "I'd say this beats any revolver."
Hobgoblin drives his point with the Glider's blades, but what do our experts think?
"I like the Glider," said DAM "But I think it'll be a lot harder to dodge a bullet than a giant steel bat, so I have to give it to the revolver."
"Are you kidding?" asked Scarecrow "The Glider did way more damage, and he can deploy other weapons from it."
"With the power of the thing, you can't not give it the edge." Said Zivon. DAM was about to open his mouth when he said "Don't say anything. Edge Glider."
For special weapons, the edge goes to the Green Goblin for the Goblin Glider.
With the testing complete, our experts are ready to begin the battle.
They tested four weapons the Joker uses to terrorize Gotham City, against four of the Green Goblin's tools of destruction.
For explosive weapons, the Joker's Joker Gas outdid the Goblin's Pumpkin Bombs.
"The Pumpkin Bombs have an immediate destructive effect," said Scarecrow "but the Joker Gas is just more long lasting, and so much more insidious. One whiff of the stuff can kill you, and the Joker is immune to it, so he can just release a cloud around himself to no ill effect."
Edge: Joker
For long range weapons, the Joker's deadly deck of cards was put up against the Goblin's Razor Bats.
"In the end," said Zivon "the surprise factor of the cards does enough to tie with the heavier bats."
Edge: even.
For close range weapons, the Goblin's Shock Gloves were more than a match for the Joy Buzzer.
"The Shock gloves combine blunt force trauma with electrical shocks." Said DAM "The Joy Buzzer might have more shock, but it loses something when you have to rely on that one small area where it's lethal."
Edge: Green Goblin
For special weapons, the Goblin Glider was tested against the Joker's Revolver.
"The Revolver's just a gun, nothing special." Said Zivon "The Glider on the other hand, is both a mode of transportation, and an attack in one."
Edge: Green Goblin
With all the data collected, Scarecrow'sMainFan will input the data into the battle simulation program. In the end, only one will survive to tell the tale.
001001001110101010101010
Gotham City, dark and cloudy as always. The First National Bank of Gotham was open for business. As a man was about to leave, however, the door was kicked in and he flew back as the Joker walked in. "Greetings citizens of Gotham!" he cried out "Bats is out of town with his buddies in the Justice League, so why don't we make this quick: give me everything in the building, or you won't be gettin' outa here in one piece!"
The bankers were about to go and get the money when a large window shattered and in flew the Green Goblin. "Alright folks, welcome to my new hunting grounds. Gimme all the money, and I won't kill all of you."
"HEY!" called the Joker, getting the Goblin's attention "I was here first buddy, skedaddle!"
"What're you gonna do about it, clown."
"This!" the Joker cried, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a deck of cards. Before the Goblin could ask what the hell was going on, the Joker started flinging the cards at him, one of them sticking in his bicep and a lot of others bouncing off his armour. In retaliation, he threw two razor bats at the Joker who rolled out of the way just as they hit the floor where he had been.
"Really?" the Joker said, bored "Bats? You're really going to go there?" Joker shook his head as he dodged two more of the Goblin's Bats. He sighed "I didn't want to do this, but okay!" he yelled, throwing up two grenades.
The Goblin flew out of the way as the bombs exploded into green smoke. He heard the bank patrons screaming and coughing and knew he should stay out of the smoke.
The Joker laughed insanely as people around him dropped like flies. His laughter ended when he saw the Goblin fly out the window he came in through and a small orange ball fly in. Running away form it, the Joker just missed the explosion. "Of course you realize, this means war." He grumbled. The mad clown ran up to the dying bank teller and said "I'll be back for the money later." And winked before running for the roof access.
Getting out onto the roof, the Joker scrambled out of the way of another two Bats, and ducked as the Goblin Glider soared right over his head. "Had enough, Clown?" called the Goblin.
"Oh, I'm just getting warmed up, said the Joker, reaching into his coat "And it's Joker." He said, throwing two more gas grenades.
The Goblin held his breath as he flew through both blasts, and began dropping Pumpkin Bombs as he flew.
The Joker leapt out of the way as the bombs went off, and the Goblin flew up into the sky. Joker watched his ascent and drew his revolver. As the Goblin descended towards him he opened fire, missing on the first two shots, he had to jump out of the way of another Pumpkin Bomb and two Bats before firing again, hitting the Goblin dead in the chest and knocking him off his glider and sending it careening off course as the rider fell to the rooftop.
Joker approached the still form of his enemy and prodded him with his shoe. When the Goblin didn't stir, he said "Well, that's that!" and dramatically marched off.
Only to be grabbed around the arm and shocked by a very much alive Green Goblin, who was very thankful for his armoured suit. The Goblin laughed as he rose to his feet, but his laugh became a cry of pain when the Joker grabbed the arm holding him with his own, which contained a Joy Buzzer.
Both electrical devices gave one final spark before shorting out completely. Both combatants fell over, dazed. The Goblin rose first, and walked over to the Joker. He raised his boot to stomp on him, but the Joker rolled away, and threw another card at him, bouncing off his armour. The card did no damage, but it was all the Joker needed to rise to his feet.
"Comes down to fisticuffs, eh?" The Joker said charged at his opponent with a vicious left hook, catching the Goblin in the jaw. Norman Osborne stumbled backwards from the hit, but managed to block the next one, and retaliate with a punch of his own right into the Joker's ribs to which the Joker doubled over.
The Goblin raised his fist to smash into the Joker's head, but the Joker was quicker, rising up and kicking the Goblin in the family jewels. The Goblin cried out in pain as he stumbled back. Joker didn't waste any time, running up and kicking him in the head. The Goblin's mask flew off as he fell on his back, groaning in pain.
"Aren't you that rich guy, Osborne" the Joker said, looking him over. "You are? This is great, when I'm done here, I'll go rob your place. Oh, I can take Harley on a date there." The Goblin grabbed his leg as he tried to rise during the Joker's speech, but was met with the barrel of a revolver in his face. "You didn't think I wasn't watching, did you?"
The Joker laughed madly as the Osborne pushed a button on his boot.
Joker finished laughing and looked down at Osborne. "Well, we've had our fun, but I've got a bank to rob." The Joker said, cocking the gun "Nighty night." He said as he pulled the trigger.
BANG
Was what the flag that came out of the Joker's gun said, as he laughed maniacally. Osborne watched this, with a look of confusion on his face. "You really are screwed up in the head aren't you?"
"You don't say?" the Joker said, leaning down to face, him, before rising to laugh again. Osborne looked behind him and dropped to the ground.
Joker was about to question this, but was then hit, full force, by the Goblin Glider, blades out, cutting him in two.
Green Goblin laughed as he retrieved his mask. "I'll just take the money, you don't need it anymore." He patted the lifeless Joker on the head before flying off.
Winner: Green Goblin
"The Green Goblin won this battle" said Scarecrow "this was largely because of his superior grade of weapons. This fight was a joke with a killer punch line, but the clown was knocked dead at the end."
Goblin Kills
Pumpkin Bombs: 210
Razor Bats: 20
Shock Gloves: 45
Goblin Glider: 314
Total: 589
With his Goblin Glider being the most efficient weapon in the battle, the Green Goblin seizes victory from the Joker.
Joker Kills
Joker Gas: 250
Razor Cards: 15
Joy Buzzer: 10
Revolver: 136
Total: 411
"The Joker was used to killing police officers, and fighting against Batman," said Zivon "And neither of them want to kill him, just lock him up. When it came down to fighting an opponent that wants to kill him, and had better tech, the Joker lost."
"I'm a little surprised the Joker lost," said DAM "After all, the Goblin's dead, and the Joker's still out there."
"Pudin' might have lost," said Harley "but I think we win in the end."
Zivon, Scarecrow and DAM looked over to Harley, who was armed with the Joker's revolver, and the Hobgoblin who was hovering on the Goblin Glider. "What the hell is this?" said Zivon.
"Your equipment has a high price on it." Said Hobgoblin "Nothing personal, just get out and we'll take it without killing you."
The three hosts exchanged a nod before Zivon threw down a smoke bomb at the feet of the two villains. In a coughing fit, Harley noticed Zivon making a run for it, his black and red cape trailing behind him. "I'll get that one, you handle these two."
Hobgoblin nodded as Harley ran off after Zivon. He was about to throw one of his Bats when he heard something.
"Vive la France!" yelled DAM, charging out of the smoke on horseback, his sword held high. Hobgoblin was caught off guard and knocked off the glider with a swing of DAM's sabre. He fell to the ground, but rolled out of the way as DAM came back for another attack.
Hobgoblin took out a Razor bat and was about to throw it when he heard a bestial howl. He turned around just as a snarling Scarecrow leapt on him and knocked him to the ground. Scarecrow's clawed fists hit him over and over until he stopped moving.
"Dude," said DAM, trotting back on his horse "what did you do?"
"Oh relax," Scarecrow said dismissively "he's fine. He's still got a pulse and everything."
Meanwhile, Harley caught up with Zivon right in front of his computer. "I gotcha now!" she cried. Zivon only smirked and waved at her.
Before Harley could figure out what was going on, fire erupted around Zivon and he dropped down.
"You're not getting away that easily!"Harley yelled as she jumped down the trapdoor after him. She landed in a room full of mirrors, surrounded by only images of herself. Catching a glimpse of a red cape, she fired at it, shattering a mirror.
"That's seven years of bad luck," she heard him say "You really should be more careful." Harley shot at where she heard the voice coming from, watching as a speaker fell form above. "Hey, those things cost money!" she shot again, missing completely. Getting worried, Harley backed towards what she hoped was a way out. She saw a light at the end of a short hallway, but as she ran for it, a metal grate came down and blocked her escape.
Harley slammed right into the grate, seeing that Zivon was on the other side, she raised her revolver, only for Zivon to knock it out of her hand with his rapier. Harley turned to run, but a rope fastened itself around her midsection and neck and pulled her back against the grate, leaving her just enough room to breathe. "How did you do all this?" she asked.
Zivon smirked. "I built this place, I know my way around." With that, he left for the surface where DAM and Scarecrow were waiting for him.
"What did you do to her?" asked DAM.
"Tied her to a grate." Zivon replied.
"And?"
"And what?"
"What else did you do?"
Scarecrow smacked the historian upside the head.
"What?"
"Seriously?"
"Guys, enough." Said Zivon "Let's just tell the police where to pick them up, and go celebrate."
Sorry to Batman fans...
Next time on Deadliest Warrior of Fiction, it's man vs machine.
(A silvery-grey robot with red eyes and a cloak twirled a staff that sparked with electricity.)
Magnaguards, the elite bodyguards trained to hunt and kill Jedi by General Grievous himself.
Vs
(A man in a silver and grey suit with a red visor shimmered into view pointing an assault rifle at the camera)
Nanosuit soldiers, highly trained military special forces, sporting the most advanced armour money can buy.
Happy Halloween everyone!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to hide before the Batman fans break in and try to kill me.