SEE ALL WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS IN PREVIOUS CHAPTERS. I'M TOO LAZY TO INSERT THEM HERE.

A/N: I don't think this will be too much longer. I'm wondering if any of you have suggestions or requests on the end of this? It's just something I always ask. There's a fair bit of angst in this chapter, just an additional warning. In case anyone ever reads these pointless notes.

Madness and Chaos

As it turned out, separating themselves from their families did not make things any easier for Heero and Duo. In some ways, it only made things worse. In the space of forty-eight hours, the king declared a state of emergency and mobilized his army just to stop the Maxwells and Yuys from all-out attacking each other. Many skirmishes had already broken out, and the fatalities began climbing.

Heero watched the holonet as this unfolded, feeling a heavy weight settling on his chest. Running away was an impulsive decision, and probably not the right one. But, sitting on the only bed in the house with Duo lying between his legs, asleep on his chest, he couldn't convince himself it was wrong, either. Closing his eyes, he tried to figure out what to do.

There was only one real choice. And he hated it. More, he wasn't sure he could do it. All I can do is go back and try to fix this. But that would mean leaving Duo. Can I really do that? Now that I know I love him? I'm relatively certain I would have to make the promise that I never see him again.

Duo stirred. Heero stroked his silken chestnut hair, the strands separating and sliding between his fingers without resistance. The darkness of his hair and eyes made his skin seem all the paler, adding to a certain sense of the ethereal. Duo was so beautiful. Now that he'd had a taste, how could he ever give him up?

Indigo-violet eyes fluttered open. They almost immediately slid shut again, those full lips smiling and he practically purred at Heero's caresses. Heero flicked off the holonet. "Hungry?"

"Mm," came the sleepy-sounding reply.

Leaning down, Heero kissed his temple. "I'll make us breakfast." He tried to rise.

But because of his position, Duo had ample leverage to keep him from doing so. He wrapped his arms around Heero's waist and refused to move or let go. "Not yet," he whispered.

Heero wondered if hearts really did break. If it was possible for them just to snap in half, and if they did how long it would take to bleed to death. "Duo . . ."

For some reason, that made Duo release him. The boy sat up, staring into Heero's eyes. He couldn't begin to define what he found there, but trepidation was plainly visible. "What? Why did you say my name like that?" Said as if he was afraid of the answer.

Closing his eyes, Heero pinched the bridge of his nose. "I was watching the net," he began. "Already, over forty people have died because of our families. Because of us."

So many things flickered over the surfaces of Duo's limpid eyes Heero felt like he was drowning. "We didn't do anything," Duo said in a borderline peevish voice. "This isn't our fault. Are you actually blaming us? Me? Because I want to be with you?"

Blink. "God no. Not at all. But we provided our fathers with exactly the reason they were looking for to start an all-out war. The king actually mobilized his army to keep our families from each other, to stop them from involving the whole nation in their fight.

Duo's eyes were blazing now. "I don't care. I don't care what they do, Heero. They never bothered to ask me how I felt! I'm not just throwing what we have away to go back to them!"

Heero felt sick. So sick he wondered if he would throw up. "And what, Duo? They'll never accept this. We just hide the rest of our lives?"

Moisture gathered in those amazing eyes. "What are you saying? That this isn't worth it? That I'm not worth it?" A single tear blazed a gleaming trail down Duo's pale cheek.

Heero's heart twisted in his chest. "No. No, that's not what I'm saying. I want nothing more than to just spend the rest of my life with you. That every day could be like our holiday at the lodge. I wish I could make this a world where we were free to love as we pleased. I would never let you go. But this isn't that kind of world, Duo!"

Now the tears were falling steadily. "So you have to let me go?" In a breaking voice.

Tears stung Heero's own eyes. "Don't you think it's the right thing to do?"

Duo's eyes squeezed shut, his head shaking vehemently in denial. "No!" Barely a whimper. "No! How can it be right if it hurts this much? Don't throw me away, Heero! I would rather be dead!"

Heero could count on one hand the number of times he'd cried in his life. Twice. The first time he'd learned his twin brother had died. Then again at his funeral. The pain he'd felt then was comparable only to this. The tears spilled past his lashes as he jerked toward Duo, the pull so strong he felt like a puppet on strings. He crushed Duo to his chest.

I can't do it. I can't do this. I can't leave him. I can't make him leave me. I can't live the rest of my life without seeing him again. Holding him. Kissing him. Loving him. I can't turn this feeling off. I don't want to turn it off. I don't want to lose him!

How long the pair sat like that, completely wrapped around one another, both quietly crying, Heero rocking them on the bed, he didn't know. Mere minutes? An hour? Three? His own tears tapered off some time before Duo's, but the pain didn't lessen an iota. It was some time after Duo stopped crying that he stirred.

"Take a shower with me?" he whispered.

Heero agreed of course. They moved to the bathroom, and held each other another long time under the hot spray of water. Maybe returning home would be the right thing to do. But standing here with Duo in his arms was also right. How could he possibly choose between them? He actually wished he could summon enough anger at his family to hate them for making him face this choice.

Eventually he turned to the task of washing, touching as much of Duo as he could. Maybe—just maybe—there was an alternate solution. If there was, he was going to find it.

- - - - - - - -

"Father, may I speak with you?"

Phylia watched Lord Takashi Yuy, an imposing man at best, turn from his console to face her. "What?" he asked.

Heero had learned his silence from their father. Takashi was the polar opposite of his wife, Hauhna. She was demure and sweet while he was cold and commanding. Not to say he wasn't capable of feeling. He just hid it so well most people thought he couldn't feel at all. Another thing Heero had learned from him.

"I know you're busy, but there is something you must know," she said. "It's about Heero."

The man sat up quickly. "You know where he is?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "But I know why he left. Heero met someone. At the masquerade a few months ago. They started getting to know each other, and Heero fell in love with him. He felt the strain would be too much for us, his family, so he ran away to be with that boy."

Takashi frowned. "Thought the strain would be . . . ?" he repeated. "Why in heaven's name would he feel that way? Because it's a boy? I've known for years Heero leaned that way!"

Phylia shook her head. "That's not really the issue, Father."

"Then what is the issue?" Takashi demanded. "Who is this boy?"

She met his gaze unwavering. "Duo Maxwell."

She had the dubious pleasure of seeing Lord Takashi Yuy, one of the two most powerful men in the world, come undone. He came roaring up out of his seat like an infuriated bull, ugly and terrible in his wrath.

"WHAT!?"

-

"Did you tell him?"

"Yes."

Damia carefully studied her friend's face. Phylia's eyes were unnaturally grave, even for her. Her heart sank. "And?"

"I've never seen him so ready to kill," came the blunt reply. "I thought if Duo was standing right before him, he would have snapped the boy's neck with his bare hands. Damia, he would not listen to reason. He seemed convinced your brother seduced Heero with the intent of destroying him."

"Absurd!" Damia snapped. "I watched the pain this was putting Duo through. When he looked at me after I forbade him from seeing Heero again, I thought my heart would break! He looked utterly defeated and betrayed."

"I know," Phylia murmured. "I saw the same things on Heero's face, remember? I tried to convince him that no, they truly love each other, and wouldn't he please consider talking to your father for their sakes. He was livid, he would not listen."

Heaving a defeated sigh that came from her toes, Damia nodded. "My father was the same. He said he knew Heero was just taking advantage of his big heart, his willingness to trust people. Damn it! Mother actually slapped me, saying I had betrayed not only them but Duo as well by hiding this from them."

Phylia raked fingers through her hair. "I have no other recourse, Damia. I thought for sure they would calm down if they knew how our brothers felt. What are we going to do now?"

Damia buried her face in her hands. "I don't know. It's blatantly obvious the king is powerless. People are still dying even though he mobilized his army. Do you have any idea where Heero might have taken Duo? Maybe if they spoke to our fathers themselves, things could be resolved."

Phylia shook her head. "None. There are so many places it would take months to search them all."

Damia bit her lip. "All right. All we can do then is pray those two think of something on their own. This is not in our hands anymore."

Eventually, her friend agreed.

- - - - - - - -

"Maybe we should try contacting our families," Duo said. The pair of them sat on the porch swing, watching the sun set. Heero used the armrest for support, Duo used Heero. "Maybe we could tell them why we did what we did. Maybe they will listen."

"I'm positive they'll think that you and I are just toying with the other."

Duo could easily hear the scorn. He closed his eyes and rested his head against Heero's shoulder. Yes, that was probably true. He was tired. So, so tired.

"I may have an idea, though," Heero murmured in his ear.

By his tone, it was either a risky idea or one Duo wouldn't like. "Tell me."

"You inspired it," Heero began. "I started thinking about what you said to me earlier. That you would rather be dead than be separated from me."

Duo opened his eyes with a little frown.

"I feel the same, Duo. I would rather die than live the rest of my life without you in it."

His heart started to pound. He twisted to peer up into cobalt eyes.

"What if our families knew that?" Heero all but whispered. "What if they thought we were ready and willing to die, rather than be parted?"

Now Duo sat up completely. He stared at Heero, trying to read everything he saw there, trying to sort it out. Would that work? Was it even true? Would he throw his life away, kill himself if he couldn't be with Heero? Then again, his family didn't have to know the answer to that. After all, love historically robbed people of their better sense. He and Heero were living proof of that!

And it would be relatively easy, faking his own death. If it came to that, he and Heero could just leave Endina. They were both smart. It would be easy to start over. He licked his lips and nodded. "I could do that."

The words barely finished leaving him before Heero leaned forward and kissed him. It was the least gentle kiss he'd ever given Duo, borderline brutal. When he pulled away he was panting, eyes glazed.

"I know we're still too young," he breathed, "but . . . make love to me, Heero."

His companion didn't say a word. He simply gripped Duo's hand and pulled him up off the swing, heading back toward the bedroom.